Taing the Class

Chapter 1: Tuesday Morning, 6:30AM

"Your Class is

what?

" asked Alaina.

It's way too early for this kind of shit. Ugh, how the fuck did this happen?

She brought her hands up to rub at her eyes. Her entire body was tingling.

"[Cunning Linguist]," came the reply from behind her.

She giggled sleepily.

Is that a joke?

"I can't really argue it after last night. I'm still a little tingly."

But more importantly, why did my Class—

"No, Alaina, I'm serious. It changed. Overnight. Ah, shit. I'm rank one again, and all my Skills and Traits mutated, too. What the hell..."

Class levels reset when the Class changes; that's just common sense.

Alaina glanced over at the clock on her nightstand.

6:32? What the fuck? Why didn't my alarm go off? Oh, I forgot to turn it on last night.

She struggled, eventually managing to right herself. The covers fell away, exposing her pale torso to the morning light filtering through her blinds. She squinted.

I hate mornings so much.

"Ugh," Will groaned. "They don't teach how fucking jarring it is to have a Class change. As soon as I noticed it my head felt like it was trying to split apart."

She peered down at her classmate. He had his eyes closed and his hands clasped to his temples, crushing his short, dirty-blond hair against his skull.

That seems like it really hurts.

Alaina gave him a concerned look.

And I can't help but feel like this might be at least partially my fault due to that Quirk. He was going down on me for like, an hour? At least, right? I thought I was gonna die at the time, but I definitely wouldn't say no if he wanted to do it again...

She bit her lip.

No! Stop it! Too early to be getting horny!

"Do you have any painkillers? I can barely even move like this." Will groaned again, clutching his head even more tightly.

"I can..." she trailed off as an idea struck her.

Is this for real?

"I think I might have something better?"

Will didn't respond, instead letting out an agonized grunt.

If this really works...

Alaina turned and laid herself gently over his covered chest.

He groaned again, his face contorting further.

She placed her hands on his cheeks, and drew him into a soft kiss. Her tongue licked repeatedly at his clenched teeth until they relaxed, then she carefully reached inside. Her tongue stroked along his soothingly, like an owner calming a scared puppy.

A strawberry cheesecake-flavored puppy.

She felt him slacken under her ministrations, his hands dropping from his head.

Alaina left him with a final chaste kiss before pulling away. She perched her face on her hands, propped up on his chest by her elbows. "Better?" she asked, raising her eyebrows fractionally.

Will stared up with incredulous eyes. "How?" He blinked. "I feel... I don't even know how to describe it. I'm not sure I've ever been this relaxed before. Or as energized in the morning. Did your Class change, too?"

Alaina gave him an enigmatic smile.

I can't believe it worked!

"Not exactly. It's a new Trait."

What the fuck, is all this real?

"Alaina, are you joking? That's a

Trait

?"

"Yup." Her smile widened.

"What—But how? I've never heard of a

Trait

that gives someone's kisses analgesic effects."

"Analgesic? Whatever, it's not... It's not exactly that. But I'm glad you're feeling better." She pushed herself upright once again, then swung her legs out from under the covers and stood up.

It's not just Will, I feel amazing now that I'm awake.

She didn't stretch, instead heading over to her dresser. She placed her hand on the top drawer.

"Wow," came a disbelieving, whispered exclamation from behind her.

Alaina turned back to catch Will ogling her naked body, his mouth slightly open. She smirked at him before pulling open the drawer. "See something you like?"

"Everything."

She felt a sudden warmth between her legs and paused.

That's new. Did he just make me wet with a single word? Is that

me

? It can't be, right?

"I don't want you to think I'm being cheesy or even the tiniest bit insincere, so I'm going to use my Skill when I say this: seeing you naked for the first time, I think you're beyond gorgeous. No tan lines, not a single blemish—I'm in awe."

Alaina felt her entire body blush.

That fucking Skill! Argh!

"Stop!" she whined for the second time that morning. "I do too have blemishes," she said. She turned back towards him and pointed to a spot on her shoulder. "I've got a mole right..." she trailed off, blinking at the smooth, unmarked patch of skin which was unfamiliar to her.

What?

"Sorry," said Will, "I guess maybe that was a bit much so early in the morning."

Her face was still on fire.

How did I not notice that part of the Trait before? I guess it just took a while to work? How am I even supposed to keep track of all these now? Argh! Enough Class stuff!

Her hand closed around a set of panties in the drawer at random. She took a breath. Then she glanced at the underwear in her hand, and her mouth curved back into a half-smile.

I guess it wouldn't hurt to reward him a little for giving such a nice compliment. And for all those orgasms.

"You sure know how to give a girl a compliment early in the morning," she purred, pulling her hand out of the drawer. She unfolded the lacy undergarments, then turned her head towards him as she stepped into the same black hip huggers she'd worn a week prior. "Recognize these?" She gazed into his eyes as she slowly pulled them up her legs, letting the waistband lift her butt for a moment before reaching back to drag it the rest of the way up.

Will gulped.

She turned back to the dresser and reached into the third drawer and retrieved a particular pair of jeans from the stack of other clothes she'd hidden them beneath.

I didn't think I'd ever wear these again. Especially not as a reward for the guy who got me to take them off last week so reluctantly.

She bit her lip.

Things have really changed a lot.

She looked over at him as she slid the jeans up her legs. Her seductive motion and gaze were marred slightly by the tightness of the pants which required her to shimmy and rock her hips in order to pull them up completely. "What do you think?" she asked, turning around slowly.

"Any chance you want to wake me up like this every day?"

She snorted as she returned to her dresser and pulled out a matching bra. "Maybe if we were dating for real I'd think about it," she said as she fastened it around her chest. She reached into each cup to position her breasts more comfortably. "For now, consider it a token of my appreciation for all the orgasms last night. And for giving me such a sincere compliment to start off my day."

I wouldn't say no to getting my mind blown like that regularly, though.

She caught herself smiling again.

Fuck, I'm going to be grinning like an idiot all day aren't I?

"Oh," said Will.

She looked over, but his expression was unreadable. "Shouldn't you be getting dressed?" she asked.

He was silent for a moment before he replied. "Alaina, surely if you're going to put on a show like this for me then I should be grateful enough to stay for the credits?" He waggled his eyebrows.

She rolled her eyes at him as she pulled out a random shirt from the second drawer. "The only

credits

are going to be me watching the show as you walk out of here naked to grab your bag before I go do my makeup." The shirt came over her head, and she spent a moment straightening it out before she leered at him.

He continued to lay there watching her.

"You're not going to tell me you're a prude now, are you, Will?" Alaina taunted.

Is he? That would be too funny.

"No, just admiring you a little more before you put on your full

Madame President

look. Every other time I've seen you has been with the glasses and the makeup. This feels more...intimate."

Alaina blushed slightly. What

is going on, I can't stop blushing! He's too sincere today! What happened to all the banter? That was so much easier.

"Why do you always hide behind those big glasses anyway?" he asked. "I know you don't need them to see most things. Or even if you did, you could wear contacts."

Her mind recalled a memory that she hadn't thought of in a long time.

"Dad, why do you always wear your glasses?" she asked. She looked over at her father and his wide-rimmed glasses. "Mom says you don't really need them to see most things." She wrinkled her nose. "Aren't they annoying?"

Her father drew his hand through his thick, brown beard and chuckled. "Lainy, I don't

need

them, but I like wearing them. They're more comfortable than they look." He leaned in and looked around. "Plus, people think I'm smart when I wear them," he whispered. His face slackened, and drool appeared at one side of his mouth. "So they don't notice I'm really a big dum-dum!"

She giggled. "No, Dad! You're not a dum-dum! You're the smartest man in the world!"

His expression went back to normal, and a soft smile spread across his face. "Thanks, Lainy. I knew you were my favorite daughter for a reason."

"Daad! I'm your

only

daughter!" She glared at him.

"Are you?" he asked, looking surprised. "Don't tell your mother."

Alaina giggled more, turning into whole-hearted laughter.

"Don't tell me what?" her mom called from the next room.

"Dad says—"

"I was just telling Lainy how incredibly smart and beautiful you are, Dot," her dad said, "and how incredibly lucky I am!"

"Okay, Mister," her mom called back, "but don't go telling her too much or you won't be so lucky."

Her father grinned, then beckoned her in closer. She leaned in towards him, and he whispered, "Also she likes me more when I wear my glasses."

Alaina sniffled, her eyes suddenly feeling hot.

Why now?

She snatched her glasses off the top of the dresser before darting out of her room and into the bathroom, closing the door behind her. She sank to the floor, her hands pressed to her face. A tear escaped from one eye, and she sobbed quietly.

Seven years, and I still miss him so fucking much.

Another memory surfaced.

"Aw, c'mon, Dad! Just once, just for a minute!" she begged.

"No means no, Lainy," he said, unusually firm in his denial.

"But you never let me wear your glasses even once!"

"That's because they're

my

glasses, Lainy," he said, his tone exasperated.

"Pleeaase?"

Alaina whimpered, knowing which memory was coming next.

"Dad, Dad! Look, I got a hundred again!" She held up a piece of paper.

"Let me see that!" he took the paper she was offering with one hand and pushed his glasses up with the other. "Wow, Lainy!" he said after peering at the document for a minute. "I thought you said you were no good at math? Look at all these triangles you found the area for!"

"I didn't think I was, Dad," she said, staring up at him eagerly and bouncing on her feet. "But then you said you used to think you couldn't be any good at writing either, and you're the best writer ever now! And you said I could do math if I wanted it enough, so I just tried really, really hard and kept wanting to do it!"

He grinned widely down at her, stroking his beard with his free hand. "I did say that, didn't I? And I think I said something else, too, if you managed to do well on this test. I can't quite remember what it was..."

"Ice cream! Ice cream!" she shouted, her hands raised over her head.

"Oh, right, I said we'd go get ice cream. I think there was still something more, though..."

"Glasses!"

He chuckled. "Right, right, I said you could wear them for the rest of the day, didn't I?" He reached up and took off his wide-rimmed glasses before turning them over and passing them carefully down to her. "I guess this can be part of your birthday present. Be careful with these, you know I need them!"

She giggled as she fit the too-big glasses onto her little face. "Yay! I'll be

so

careful, Dad, I promise!"

"I know you will, Lainy," he said, running his hand down the back of her head. "Now, let's go get that ice cream quickly before your mother gets home from the lab with your cake. What flavor are you going to get?"

"I don't know." She furrowed her brow. "What kind are you going to get, Dad?"

"You know I always get the same thing, Lainy."

"Oh, right. I'm gonna get it too since I'm wearing your glasses! Pistachio for both of us!"

Alaina cried. She held her knees up to her face and sobbed, heedless of anything else. It wasn't the first time, though it had been a while since she'd been ambushed so viciously. It probably wouldn't be the last time, either.

Why did it have to be then? Why not after we got ice cream? Or a week later? Or a month? Why the fuck did you have to die so early, Dad?

She clutched her glasses—

Dad's

glasses—tightly in her hands, careful not to squeeze them too hard.

She had to be careful with them.

She'd promised.

She'd even left them at home the night before to ensure nothing unexpected would happen to them.

A quiet knock sounded on the door. "Hey, um, Alaina?" came Will's soft voice. "I fixed some breakfast...if you're hungry? I don't want to rush you or anything. I'll, um...stay here until you're ready to go? Unless it'd be better for me to go now? Um, take your time, you don't have to answer. I'll go wait downstairs—"

Before she realized what she was doing, she'd scrambled to her feet and opened the door. Will stood there, fully dressed, staring at her in surprise for a moment before he came forward and wrapped her in a hug.

Alaina buried her head into his chest, cradling the glasses, as she continued to sniffle. She expected him to make a stupid comment, or try to say something he thought was reassuring, and she prepared herself to scream that he

didn't

understand, that he never would. After some time standing together in silence, one of his hands came up and started stroking soothingly down the back of her head. Her mind went blank.

Eventually, her eyes dried and her thoughts returned. She pushed Will away gently.

"Are you... I mean, I'll meet you down in the kitchen after you finish your makeup?"

She smiled a little despite herself. "Thanks, Will."

* * *

"I, uh... I put some blueberries on top?" said Will as she joined him at the kitchen table, sitting across from him.

Bowls of cereal were placed in front of each setting, each with a handful of blueberries on top. The boxes of cereal and blueberries were out on the table—opened in case she wanted more—and the milk was similarly still out on the table rather than being poured onto the cereal already.

"I didn't know if you wanted them on your cereal? But I saw them there, and, well, you know I like blueberries, I suppose, so I decided—"

"It's good, Will," Alaina said, pouring some milk into her bowl. "Thanks."

"Good, good," he said, pouring some milk into his own bowl when she was done. "I was looking around to see what I could find, but, um, I was a bit pressed for time. I mean, not that I'm some incredible cook or anything, because I don't want to give you the wrong idea there, um, not that I

can't

cook, but I haven't really put much time into—"

She snorted, nearly shooting milk out her nose. Then she swallowed and started to giggle. She covered her mouth and looked at Will.

I don't know why it's so funny, but seeing Will back to stuttering and stammering now, the contrast is so good.

Will grinned back at her, relief on his face. "You need a napkin or are you going to be okay over there?"

She lowered her hand, a smile still on her face.

* * *

"Is this a fucking joke?" Alaina said. She stood in the driveway and stared at the back left tire of her car.

"That's pretty unlucky," said Will, bending down next to the tire. "You must have driven over—Ah, yeah, look, there's a nail." He brought out his phone and snapped a photo.

Alaina growled.

"But hey, it's not that bad, right?" Will said. He dusted his hands off and turned to look at her. "It's just a flat tire. That's pretty simple as far as problems go."

"I know, but now I have to sit around here waiting for a tow truck since my car didn't come with a spare tire or anything." Alaina pressed her fingers against the bridge of her nose, feeling the coolness of her glasses between her fingers.

"I'll give you a ride," said Will, gesturing to his black sedan. "I mean, obviously I would, right?"

Ugh, what a pain in the ass. I should take Mom's car, but she might need it if she gets an urgent call...

"I guess..."

"Great," said Will. "Um, and it actually makes sense since I'll be coming back later. I, uh, may have spoken to your mom this morning and agreed to come to dinner tonight?"

"You

what

?"

* * *

"I still can't believe you agreed without asking me first," huffed Alaina.

Why does that sound so familiar though? It's like déjà vu.

"I may have panicked a little because she was so, uh, cool? About finding me there. And she remembered meeting me from before, so—"

"You've met my mom before?" asked Alaina, her head swiveling to stare at Will as he turned out of her driveway.

"Yeah, briefly. I was at a Macbeth showing with Tiff—"

"

Tiff

met my mom?

And

saw me on stage?"

Huh. She did mention that she knew I was a great actress, and I didn't even question it.

"Yeah, she wanted to hang out, and she also wanted to see my school, so I figured it'd be two birds with one stone. Anyway, I ran into your mom and we had a little chat—though I don't think she knew who I was then?—but it was just about student council stuff and how good you were in the play."

Ugh, this is the worst. Well, maybe not the worst. Definitely not the worst after last week.

"I see. And so, because you were already such close friends you decided to accept her invitation to come to dinner. I assume she said I'd cook?"

"Uh..."

Alaina sighed.

I'll—

We'll—

have to go shopping after school.

She laughed inwardly.

Great, now I'm even going grocery shopping with my fake boyfriend. Totally bulletproof as far as Will's father is concerned, but this is a bit much for me.

She fidgeted, running her hands through the ponytail she'd thrown her hair into earlier.

It better not be as embarrassing as that time Spencer stayed for dinner.

"Alright, we'll have to go grocery shopping after school. I have to get through more student council stuff, so we can leave..." She calculated backwards in her head. "Three. Ish."

"Sounds good. I'll have to spend some time calling the FCF to make an appointment to register my new Class anyway, so that'll give me plenty of time to sit on hold."

Oh right.

"Your Class really changed? Wasn't it only like, level twenty yesterday?"

"Yeah, something like that. I've never heard of a Class change happening so fast. And the change is... I suppose it's sort of neat? I feel like a total degenerate now."

She glanced over again, noting that he was resting his head on his hand against the door. "You feel like a total degenerate, do you?" she asked. "Really. With just a [Cunning Linguist] Class?"

Will's brows furrowed, then raised, and he turned to look at her while they were halted at a stop sign. "No, no, I didn't mean—I mean, obviously [Onahole] is way more, um, degenerate-like—Uh, shit, I mean..."