***Harmony***
I stood outside Mr. Ash's door for half a moment. I resisted the impulse to collapse in a pile of misery on the floor in the hall. The only thing that stopped me from doing it was knowing that Coach Marshal could find me there. Unsuccessfully fighting sobs, I staggered blindly down the deserted halls of the school.
Mr. Ash had failed me. I knew what he was saying, that I wasn't wrong, but everything about me felt wrong. If he really knew what I had done... if Ty really knew what I had done, they would never forgive me. I wasn't sure I could forgive myself.
The night air drew me outside, and its coldness seemed crisp and clean. I took deep breaths, and as the tears on my face began to cool, some of the stress dissipated. I let go of everything and just let the air flow through me.
The air was mingled with a sense of Ty's presence, and gradually I realized that it was because he was standing in the shadows. The expression on his face was impossible to read. It was a waiting expression, like he wasn't sure who I was or what I wanted. I wanted to be near him. I just wanted his arms around me. It was the simplest feeling I could remember having in months. Without thinking, I went to him. His eyes were hesitant, but he drew me into a hug.
The familiar feeling of surrender washed over me, and I relaxed. And the I remembered. I stiffened in his arms. "Oh God, Ty... I don't deserve this. If you knew what I've done..."
He stroked the small of my back, but he didn't release me. I didn't have the strength to pull away. Not yet. Finally, he murmured, "Why don't you leave this place?"
I blinked. "I don't know."
"Harmony, you shouldn't be here. You shouldn't have to let him touch you. I know you don't want him to."
He tilted my chin up so he could look into my eyes when I didn't answer. Then he said, "Why did you leave with him tonight? There's no curfew, is there?"
The intensity of his eyes made it difficult to think. "I'm not sure if there's a curfew. I was afraid. That's why I left."
"What were you afraid of?"
I thought for a moment. At the time, I had made a split decision to avoid making a scene, but there was something else to it. To buy time, I stroked his cheek with my thumb and watched his eyes flutter closed. Then I realized what it was. "It was because I didn't want him to hurt you."
He laughed, an echo of his warmest laugh, but it was softened by the same emotion that was in his lidded eyes. "You do realize that I work out, right? And, seriously, he doesn't."
"I know. But there are other ways he could hurt you. Things he could tell you. Things I've done that I wish I could take back. Things that I would never do again if I could choose again. Things that would hurt you."
He blinked in surprise. Gently, he put his hand over mine and pressed his lips to my palm. "You care that much about me?"
Panic. Still more panic. Was this where I was supposed to pretend that I was uninterested so that he wouldn't think I was too easily attainable? If he didn't think that already, how unobservant was he? But this was different. This was about emotions, not sex. What if he didn't really care?
I wished desperately that I could make a quip to dissipate the tension in the air, anything to keep him from knowing how much he really meant to me. But I finally decided on the truth. "Yes."
He kissed me with a soul-deep kiss. I melted into him as he moved his lips on mine. The cold, firm bark of the tree behind me raised goosebumps on my skin. It was a healing kiss, one that brought the happiness and order I had buried to the surface. When he pulled back to look at me, I felt like myself, more myself than I had ever been in my life.
And I knew what I wanted, so I could let go of the past and stop punishing myself.
"Whatever you did," he said, "I can't promise it won't make me mad, but I don't want to lose you." He looked at me through troubled eyes. "Do you want me?" Then he blushed. "I mean, not in a sexual way. Unless you do."
I knew the look on my face must have been one of those cheesy, glowy looks people in love have, and I giggled. "I want you. I want you in every way." Then something occurred to me, and I blurted it out. "I want you more than I want anyone else." Even Mr. Ash. This was a crazy night.
He nodded, the look on his face becoming grim. "Then I am going to end that son of a bitch who treats you like trash. If I ever see him lay a finger on you again, he won't be able to blink without hurting."
Part of me wanted to let him fight my battle for me. It was the same impulse that had driven me to ask Mr. Ash to punish me. But the truth was, this was something I had to do myself. Coach Marshal had nearly destroyed me. I deserved to be the one who brought him down.
I kissed Ty gently. "You are incredibly sexy when you're protective."