Chapter Twenty-Six
"Good morning, Pets," Beatrix says as Gabi and I take our seats to either side of her at our customary VU table.
No punishment for being a couple minutes late,
I muse.
"Good morning, Mistress," I reply as Gabi sticks her tongue out at her.
"Careful," Bea warns Gabi, though of what, I'm not sure. Whatever it is, Gabi flushes furiously. Then Bea turns to me. "How was it?" Her tone is excited, but something feels off; I can't place why.
"Incredible!" I say, matching her enthusiasm. "Thank you for your part in it."
"My pleasure," she says, beaming.
Is her smile... exaggerated?
I know that I'm hypersensitive to the emotions of other people—a trauma response—and try to convince myself that's all it is. I fail.
Ding.
It's my text message sound—the default iPhone one—but I realize my phone's on silent. Bea's phone is face up on the table and displaying a new background image behind the text message alert. It's of Gabi, and she....
"Hey, may I see that?" I ask Bea. Gabi glances at the phone, likely curious why I would ask to read Bea's text, then maladroitly scrambles to pull the phone from Bea's hands before she can hand it over. Surprisingly, Beatrix relents and gives it to Gabi, who sighs in relief.
"
Gabi, walk over to Sarah and show her the treat you gave me last night.
"
Gabi shrieks as she obediently stands and walks ever so slowly around the hexagonal table the long way 'round. "How
dare
you?" I
think
her anger is feigned, or at least exaggerated. I can tell she's trying to resist the compulsion because of her leaden pace and the route she chose, but walk to me she does. Her expression quickly shifts from spite to disbelief to panic. "Please don't make me show her," she begs. "It's embarrassing!" So genuine does her plea sound that I'm surprised the command is working on her. Then again, maybe I shouldn't be surprised, considering what Bea has made me do against my will and my earnest, if ambivalent, desire not to.
Some part of Gabi must want to do this,
I decide.
Besides, she knows our safeword.
"It is," Beatrix confirms dispassionately. Then, a hint more playful, "You could stop if you really wanted to."
Oh, that is
cruel. Not only is she implying that Gabi
does
want to be compelled, but it tosses a helping of shame into the mix, forcing Gabi to recognize the humiliating fact that she enjoys this treatment. Beatrix is a domme through and through.
"What was it you said last night? 'This means war'?" she mocks. "I'm giving you the perfect opportunity to strike back. Stop walking and my command will backfire and hurt me.
"I know you don't want to show Sarah how much of a silly bimbo you are, Gabs, so it should be
easy
to resist, right? I can't compel you to do something if you don't want to do it."
Gabi scowls at her, then trembles as she hands the phone out to me. The screen is off, and I make a split second decision to play my part in this game. I look up at her expectantly, one eyebrow raised, and wait. At last, with a humiliated whimper, she taps the screen to light it up again. The photo is... I don't even know what quality to ascribe to it, but I understand why Gabi is blushing. I take it from her hands, and her shoulders slump in defeat. "It's really cute," I tell her earnestly as I examine the photo of a cross-eyed, blushing girl sticking her tongue out in a vapid expression.
I look up and there's a tear running down Gabi's face. "Oh, hey, Babe. It's just me. Remember who you're talking to. You know that I, of all people, understand the love/hate relationship with this flavor of shame." She won't meet my eyes. I reach out and lift her chin. "Just remember how thoroughly you dominated me this morning, 'kay?"
At this, Babs's demeanor perks back up. "I really did, didn't I?" She shoots me a coy, satisfied grin. I give her an appreciative nod, eyebrows raised and slightly furrowed as I recall the experience. "Thanks, Babes." I nod again.
Turning to Bea, she says tersely, "I didn't give you my consent." Her back straight, she returns to her chair taking the short route and sits back down. I pass the phone back to Beatrix. "Or did I and you made me forget?"
"No, you never gave me your consent," Beatrix says. "I don't get it. All of my previous experiments and all of my reading on the forum say the same thing: I shouldn't be able to compel you without your
expressed
consent." She shakes her head, ruefully.
"Just now," I ask Gabi, a thought occurring to me, "how did you feel?"
"Embarrassed!"
I snort. "Yes, I got that much. Was it too much, though? Do you feel that Beatrix violated you or violated your trust?"
She thinks for a second, then shakes her head. "No. When Trixy told me to show you the pic, I was feeling pretty subby,"—Beatrix nods at this, and I remember that she has a D/s monitor in place in Gabi's mind—"and as much as I hated being forced, I also enjoyed myself." She pauses. "I think."
"So do you think that could be the rule?" I ask, turning to Beatrix. "Maybe it's not consent, but an inability to violate someone. Expressed consent would always satisfy that rule, as would withdrawn consent."
"Perhaps," she says, mulling it over. "But why only me? Why hasn't anyone else figured this out?"
"Are you certain they've tried?"
"They must have, right?" she says. "I have no idea how long this ability has existed in the world, but even just the thirty-odd people on the forum.... You'd think at least one of us would have tested this by now."
"Okay, so maybe it's not
only
an inability to violate someone. Maybe it's that in combination with something else."
"Ergh!" she grunts, throwing up her hands. "It's just so frustrating! Last night, I Spoke in my head and targeted Gabi, and it worked.
Why?
And why am I the only one able to Speak in my head at all?" She looks to be on the verge of tears.
"Hey, Babe, I get that not knowing all of this is frustrating, but are you alright?"
"Yes," she says curtly. I wait for a follow-up sentence, but she remains silent. Her face is uncharacteristically expressive, and she doesn't seem fine despite her words. Or, word, really.
I glance at Gabi to get her read on the situation, but she appears lost in thought as she takes a bite of her waffle.
I lower my voice. "Bea, I can tell something is bothering you, something more than not being able to figure this out."
"Drop it." The rebuke feels like a slap, and I recoil at the unexpected tone.
"I'm... sorry," I whisper at last. I don't know what else there is to say. I don't know what I did wrong.
Her face slackens. "No, I'm sorry, Sarah. I didn't mean to snap at you. I don't know why this is bothering me so much. I promise once I figure that out.... Can we please just talk about it later?" She side-glances to her left toward Gabi. "Alone?" she mouths.
"Of course," I say, though I find the fact that she's uncomfortable discussing whatever it is in front of Gabi more than a little unsettling. "I love you." I give Bea a weak smile.
"I love you, too." Her smile is warmer. "Really. I promise I'm not mad at you, okay?" I nod, relieved, but hoping that doesn't mean she's mad at Gabi.
There's another ding from her phone, and she looks at it. "Oh! I completely forgot to read the text message from earlier." She takes a couple seconds to read it, knitting her brow. "My parents want to have dinner with me tonight. Do you two want to come?"
"Really?" Gabi says, rejoining the conversation. "I'd be happy to, but do your parents know you're in a polyamorous relationship?"
"They don't," Bea concedes, "but I think it's time they find out. What about you, Sarah?"
"I'd love to." I hope I kept the apprehension out of my tone.
* * *
On our way from the VU to Nash Hall, I say to Bea, "I noticed you said 'please' when you asked if we could talk about it later, and I didn't feel compelled. Did you undo the trigger?"
"No, I altered it. Compelling you by accident is fun, but not always appropriate when we're having a heartfelt moment, so I made it and the 'thank you' trigger automatically disable themselves when things are serious—as determined by my state of mind—then re-enable themselves afterward."
"Good thinking."
"Thanks. I did it a while ago. I'm surprised you didn't notice until now."
"Well, you know me, the least observant person in the world."
"Oh, don't sell yourself short, Hon."
"I was making a jo–"
"You're the least observant person in the galaxy!" she interrupts.
"Good joke. Well executed." Then, I hipcheck her. Our arms are linked, so she doesn't go far, however, it causes her to trip on a brick, nearly toppling all three of us both to the ground.
"I just can't bring you two anywhere," Gabi says.
* * *
"Shotgun!" Gabi shouts, as we leave FX four hours later.
Beatrix had been more reserved than normal during the two hours we spent playing Nintendo after our showers and walking back to Fairhaven. Competitive Monster didn't come out to play, and the fact that Gabi won both games of Mario Party proved Bea's heart wasn't in it. That said, it was a subtle difference—I know Gabi didn't notice—and I only noticed because of how well I've gotten to know Bea over the last six-and-a-half weeks. I may have been intuitive to her from the start, but she's become equally intuitive to me.
Still, I don't make an issue of it. I don't press her. Bea promised that she'd talk to me when she was ready, and so I suppress my fix-it nature. Plus, aside from the shower I took with her—which Gabi pouted that she didn't get to join, college shower stalls being the size that they are—we haven't been alone. I still find it troubling. I know that polyamorous relationships are tricky to navigate. What the three of us have is a good thing, my home. I hope it's not in jeopardy.