Chapter One
I write short stories for a living. It's a modest living and it's not likely I'll ever be anything even approaching famous but it's fun, profitable, I can work wherever I am and I can set my own schedule. How much better can it get than that? Well it certainly could be more profitable. My life style does not provide for high end cars, long exotic vacations or expensive toys but I have healthy savings and checking accounts and investments that I hope will provide for me by the time I'm fifty five.
Now for the part that might have you looking down your nose at me. I write romance and that's not so bad right? I also write porn both soft and hard, each under a different name. Most of all I write what pleases me and I can have fun with. I can't begin to guess how many times I've scrapped a half written story just because it wasn't fun to write. If I have to labor over it I pitch it. Believe it or not I do invest emotion and thought in all of my stories no matter the category. I have to care about the characters or it's hopeless.
I am under contract to Ardemus Grant Publishing and they like what I do. Jerry Grant is the owner and as you might have guessed Ardemus was his daddy. His wife Leanne is quite the woman and his former secretary and it was when she was his secretary that I first met her and fell in love again and again. I could watch her move around all day and not tire of it. She floats she doesn't walk. She sings she doesn't talk and she's as tough as they come when she has to be.
I write anywhere from six to twenty short or not so short stories a year and maybe a full novel every two or three years. Oh yes and I'm divorced as of six months ago. I was caught with this oh so fine looking dumber than shit woman and that was all she wrote. Bad move on my part and an expensive one. Unfortunately I started to believe the crap I was writing. The writing was suffering and so was I so I guess it all works out for the best in the long run.
Rex, Jerry's editor/vice president/adviser is a great guy and I've gotten drunk with him more than once. On his tab of course. That keeps me in and out. In the black and out of trouble. Back to Rex, he's also recently divorced but it's because he caught his wife banging a couple of other guys. I guess the national divorce statistics don't lie. I'm presently between novels and knee deep in three romance stories. I need to get a porn story started one of these days but it has to feel right. My favorite thing to write is novel length romance with a decidedly adult slant. Read that as a little porn thrown in. That's what I have the most fun with.
When I was married one of my favorite things to do when I could afford it was to rent a houseboat and spend a week on the water, cruising staying naked and writing. What a way to live. Trying to do that solo just doesn't work believe me. Those damn rental house boats range from sixty to eighty five feet long and up to sixteen feet wide. Man could I write on those boats. I could have three or four stories going at the same time and during that period I did some of my best writing. Maybe I should get married just so I can have a partner on the houseboats and a little pussy too. Nah, I can't afford another divorce never mind. Also those boats run from two thousand a week to over four thousand a week. I had to be damn sure I was ready to be serious about writing before I rented one of those things.
The reason I'm writing this rambling and slow moving preamble is to set the stage for one of the luckiest one time breaks of my not so short life. This will be a somewhat short story, more or less true, and for soon to be obvious reasons the names have been changed to protect my contract. I just wish I could have kept that lucky break as a permanent life style. Who am I kidding, that life style would have probably killed me in time.
Once I've finished a story, long or short I mail it off to Rex and wait for a check. If he doesn't like it I hear from him within days so if there's no call I'm usually good. Sometimes he calls and we go out for a drink and he hands me a check, sometimes it's even dinner but mostly it's a check in the mail. Right now he's one behind so it better be dinner the next time.
Okay so on with my tale. I've finished a story and mailed it in and am waiting for a check as usual. It was a fairly long and I thought quite a good story of romance with just a touch of intrigue. I had every reason to hope for a rather long check in return but it was almost a month without hearing anything. When I finally did hear it was not from Rex but from Jerry Grant with an invitation for dinner. I was either getting a new or better contract, they wanted me to write more or my contract was not being renewed. No pressure there. When I called his office I told Molly his ugly secretary (Leanne is also smart) that I was available for dinner next week with Jerry per the invitation. When I tried to sweet talk her ugliness to learn a little of what to expect, I was brushed off like so much lint. It's hard to be creative with that kind of pressure over me so I went to plan B. I got drunk with Rex on his tab. When he suggested I buy for a change I reminded him I couldn't because he was one check behind. Timing is everything.
When the evening came for dinner with Jerry I dressed in my best duds, shined my shoes and even got a haircut. I've known Jerry for years but let's face it he's a busy man and to have an invitation to dinner with him these days is something special. Plus it's free. I was at Armand's On The Water at the proper time and was escorted to his table and I was more than pleased to see his lovely wife Leanne with him. When I got to the table Jerry rose, shook my hand and Leanne said, "Hi Otto" with a heart melting smile. That was a joke between her and me that went way back and had something to do with all my pen names. My real name is Lonnie by the way.
Anyway I smiled and shook her hand saying, "Hi Leanne you look more beautiful every day and I hope I have the honor of seeing you for many years to come."
"Ever the spinner of words Lonnie, thank you for your kind ones."
Jerry said, "Have a seat Lon what would be your pleasure?"
"How about a Chivas Regal on the rocks." The waiter nodded and was off to do my bidding on Jerry's tab. God I love this line of work.
There was an abundance of small talk over the next half hour as we waited for dinner. Jerry and Leanne were unpretentious, easy going and fun to talk with and we had fun talking about the early days when Jerry first took over from Ardemus and he was chasing Leanne. It's a good thing I know how to keep my mouth shut. Dinner came and the talking slowed but didn't stop. Their compliments on my writing were generous but seemed sincere complete with criticism about one from about six months ago. I knew why it was such a bomb but I just agreed with them and thought I'd spare them the details. Nobody likes to hear bad news.
Chapter Two
After dinner we had more drinks and talked for quite a while. Leanne was anything but window dressing so she was in the middle of it a lot of the time. When the subject of some of my romance stories came up she complimented me saying, "You do such a nice job with romance, you must be dynamite with the ladies these days."
"No honey Lon is married," Jerry offered.
"Well not exactly. I was until six months ago." Jerry was quick if nothing else.
"Six months ago, there's that number again. Any connection with the bad story?"
"Most likely a big connection."
"Sorry to hear it Lon, did you come out of it all right?"
"I lost my financial ass but I'll survive. Rita will survive quite nicely. It was my fault and there are no hard feelings on my part."
Leanne continued, "I still think you have a wonderful sensitivity when you write the feminine side."
"Thank you Leanne I take that as high praise." Jerry changed the subject and said, "I think I remember that you used to rent houseboats once in a while and do some of your writing there."
"I sure did. To me that was the perfect place to write. I did more and better writing there than anywhere else."
"I take it you don't rent them anymore."
"No it takes at least two to handle those things and it is just no fun alone. What's the point of being naked for a week by yourself other than a killer tan."
"Lon do you have to be anyplace for a while?"
"No not me. I'm as footloose as you can get right now." Let's go back to the house and continue this conversation over brandy." I hadn't been to their house in years.
"I'd like that, I could talk houseboats all night long."
With Jerry leading in his Mercedes we went the ten miles out to their house. I usually stay in hotels in Chicago that are no bigger but they just call it the house. After parking and having Maria, the oh so pretty maid bring us brandy, the three of us got comfortable and continued the conversation. "So these houseboats are a little tough to handle I take it."
"No not really but when you want to tie off to shore you need one at the helm and one or more working the ropes. I suppose the dock hands could do it solo but I never could. The dock master always instructed a minimum of two people. On the water they handle like a dream."
"What did you do besides write out there?"
"Laid naked in the sun, swam, skinny dipped actually, cruised up and down the several hundred miles of shoreline and went to the local restaurants at the marinas every so often. I used to fish a little but was so bad at it I gave up and stuck with skinny dipping and writing.
Leanne said, "You make it sound so relaxing and private."
"It's totally relaxing and if it's privacy you want you just tie off in a small bay and it's yours for as long as you're there. Nobody ever horned in on us or cramped our life style. I've floated naked clear across lagoons the size of small lakes and never worried about it. I suppose if the marinas are renting all their boats it could get a little hard to find those bays and lagoons but I never experienced that."
"What about TV and radio?"
