Strangers in the Night

Click

And with that click of the mouse the ad was posted. Sent into the dark abyss that was the internet. The unspoken place where men and women went to in search of something.

And that something was different for everyone.

But everyone came to the same place to begin.

And that's where she found herself.

She saw the words in bright color on the screen.

Friends

Friends with benefits

No strings attached

Fuck buddies

One night stand

The words swirled in her head. Questioning her sanity. She questioned it herself.

But that's the funny thing about doing things you never thought you'd do.

It's usually because deep down, you've lost hope. Because you don't see any other alternative but the one in front of you.

And maybe she was exaggerating. In being hopeless.

She was after all just 19 years old.

And what kind of 19 year old was hopeless at such a young age.

She was.

Maybe it was because she gone through so much.

Maybe because she'd never been proven otherwise.

Maybe because she been told the same thing that was always in the back of her head.

That she'd end up alone.

That no one could ever possibly be interested in her.

She heard it from strangers, friends and even family.

At first it was easy to dismiss the thought.

Who listens to strangers anyways.

But when it comes from your so called loved ones.

Well, those words really stick with you.

So after hearing it so much, she started believing it.

She believed it to her core.

Which is how she found herself on this website.

Creating an ad.

Looking for affection.

Whether it was emotional or physical didn't matter.

She just wanted someone to want her.

Even if it was just for a short period of time.

And in order to find that, she had to put matters into her own hands.

So this was the only option she had.

She saw no other alternative.

After carefully wording her ad ,and adding a phot of herself, so she could get the best possible responses, she was here.

Waiting.

All she had to do was reload her login page and it would show the responses.

She scrolled the mouse over towards the refresh button.

She held it there, hovering.

All she had to do was click the mouse and see.

A simple push of her index finger and her life could be forever changed by possibilities.

Did she dare though?

She was scared.

She could end it here.

She didn't have to go through with this.

She could just forget she ever made the ad and just go back to living her lonely life.

But she didn't know what terrified her more.

Refreshing the page and realizing that no one wanted her.

Or going back to that bleak existence she called life.

Deciding right there and then that she wouldn't go back to that dreary life, she squeezed the mouse with her index finger.

The page went blank as it started to reload. The icon in the middle signaling that it was almost complete.

She shut her eyes and tried to quiet her own negative thoughts. They never really went away. She was at times her own worst critic.

With a deep breath and a firm resolution she opened her eyes and looked upward, towards the ceiling, wanting another moment before giving in and looking at the computer. She mentally counted down, her head ready to move down.

5,4,3,2,...1.

She looked.

The number staring back at her in bright red.

25.

25 responses.

25 men who were interested, if only in the picture I had posted.

In the photo i looked into the distance, not directly at the camera.

I had been at the beach with my best friend. The only one who I could always count on. Only she could break through the depressing thoughts that plagued my mind, and get me to believe in life.

The sun was setting around us and unbeknownst to me, my friend had taken out her phone and snapped a candid picture.

It wasn't until later that night that I realized what had happened. My friend drove me home and dropped me off, with promises to hang out soon.

I walked into the silent apartment. No one was home. My family must be out, each of them doing their own thing.

I got into my pjs and went to bed. I was laying on my bed in my room, listening to music with my headphones on when I heard a chirp.

It was my phone signaling that i had gotten a message.

I debated ignoring it.

I figured it was my mom just checking up on me.

Making sure I got home safe.

After a couple seconds another chirp sounded.

Deciding to calm my mother's worries i looked at my phone and opened the text.

It was from my friend.

A picture.

Of me.

I couldn't believe the girl in the picture was actually myself.

This girl in the picture was looking away, half shielding her face from view. She was surrounded by a warm orange glow caused by the sunset, making her sun kissed skin to glow. She looked so serene. Unplagued by inner demons. The wind was blowing her dark black hair causing some strands to come across her face.

She wasn't smiling. But she still managed to look peaceful.

I looked at the photo and marveled at how my friend was able to capture me on these rare moments.

I read the text my friend had sent along with the photo.

'This is what I want for you. Peace.'

That was the photo I had decided to use for the ad. It was by far the best one I had of myself and i figured it was my best option.

And it turned out I was right.

I opened the link of the first person to respond to the ad and skimmed through it along with the photo of the person attached.

A white male, 30 years of age, with a scraggly beard and balding head of hair and with what appeared to be sunspots on his face.

If the image wasn't enough to turn me away, his message was.

Promises of a good time, sex with no strings attached, how he would debase me and make me love it.

I quickly deleted him and moved on to the next one, not wanting to lose hope.

The second reply wasn't much better. A black male, 35 years of age, and the only picture he had was of his dick.

Delete.

Deciding that third time had to be the charm I moved on to the next reply.

Christian.

A Hispanic male, 21 years of age, short black hair, light beard with a trimmed mustache, sporting a cute, boyish grin.

His dark eyes staring right into the camera.

It felt as if he was staring at me.

Smiling at ME.

I scrolled past his photo ready to read his response.

When I had written the ad I had said that I was looking for someone to make me feel something. Preferably someone I could get to know. Someone who I could continually see for sex. I wasn't looking for multiple people. I would choose someone and if we were both feeling each other then we could continue to the fun for as long as we both pleased.

I wasn't a virgin. But my first 2 separate experiences left a sour reminder in my head. Being used and called upon at the guys whim. And then being forgotten and ignored until they wished otherwise. I finally chose to break the cycle and go for a different person. Which is why I had decided that from now on I would be having sex with the guy on my terms. And the first thing that needed to happen was to choose the guy.

Reading his response gave me hope. He was a college guy who liked to play soccer. He wasn't looking for anything serious but was up to meeting on multiple occasions. He wanted to have fun. He said he didn't normally go on these sites- having never had a need for them. But that a friend had mentioned trying the site since it had worked well for him. Christian, being single at the moment, decided to go ahead and try the site. Erring on the side of caution, he scrolled through the ads looking for a girl who seemed down to earth. That's when he happened across my photo and he stopped there. He said the photo came as a surprise to him, since a lot of the other girls were half naked or had plenty of body parts on display. I was different and he liked that since he was trying to find someone semi-normal, although who could be normal and go on these sites?

Deciding then and there that this was the best opportunity that I would get, I clicked the reply button.

I sent him my phone number and told him if he was interested, then so was I.

Not a minute later he texts me and I save his number.

We exchange a couple of messages back and forth. Asking each other about our days, what we like to do for fun, and other non consequential stuff.

After that we start getting into the real reason we are even messaging each other. What we both knew the other had on the mind.

Sex.

We questioned each other on whether we were clean and our sexual histories.

After that we moved on to sexual questions.

Our likes, turn ons and fantasies.

We both liked what we were discussing and before I knew it he was asking to meet up.

This was moving along quickly. Far quicker than I intended it to. But I was the one who started this and so I had to see it along.

I wasn't going to back down, not when I really wanted to see where this was going.

He sounded like a decent guy. And if I had to admit, he was hot. Far hotter than the 2 previous guys I had been with.

I felt lucky that he had even chosen to reply.

Even more so if I actually got to have sex with him.

I wonder what the rest of his body looked like.

Would he have a flat stomach, maybe abs?

He did say he played soccer. I'm sure he had to stay fit for the team.

And going lower. How big would he be?

All these thoughts started to plague my mind and I was getting worked up and before I knew it, I was giving him an address where we could meet up.

Somewhere local nearby.

Somewhere public in case I needed to back out.

A place that could easily lead us somewhere else.