Staring at the Sun

Chapter 7 – Thursday

I would like to offer my sincere apologies to everyone who has been waiting for Chapter 7 to appear. Sometimes real life can be a huge distraction and work and family life have taken priority just lately. I'm sorry.

I hope you enjoy this chapter that, while being low on sex, sets the scene for more to come.

* * * * *

Sunlight streamed in through the open window and I buried my head under the pillow to block out the light. My mind was full of the dream I'd awoken from and I realised I was damp with the arousal the images had given me. Mike had invaded my thoughts during the night, his eyes boring into mine as he climaxed inside me, my legs wrapped around his waist as I joined him on that journey of bliss. I could still feel his warm skin as we lay together and I hugged the pillow tightly, the feeling of yearning as strong as ever.

I could hear Richard snoring softly beside me and I reached down to my wet vagina, my fingers slippery with the juices that were there in readiness for the sex my body was anticipating. Rubbing my clitoris in small circles I gasped as the pleasure grew. I needed this so badly and I took hold of my left nipple and squeezed gently, the sensation shooting downwards to add to the feelings of arousal that were building, layer upon layer. I was glad I was always able to climax quickly and I needed this time before Richard awoke. I rubbed harder and harder, my fingers spinning in small circles on my hard little bud, while my left hand pulled and squeezed my nipple. I could feel my orgasm approaching and I gasped softly again, terrified I would wake Richard and be prevented from having the release I so needed. I closed my eyes and felt myself rushing towards that wonderful feeling of ecstasy, my head full of Mike and how he would be thrusting hard into me as I attained my climax. It came and I opened my legs wide to heighten the delicious sensations shooting through my body. I shuddered and spasmed, my clitoris trembling with the intense tremors radiating through me.

My frantic movements disturbed Richard who stirred next to me, his hand reaching out to touch my arm. I jumped and turned away from him before swinging my trembling legs onto the floor, a sudden bout of giddiness making me sit still for a minute before I headed off to the bathroom and a hot shower.

The heat from the rushing water made me feel cleansed and invigorated, but I couldn't help feeling out the tiny lump that struck so much fear into me. Mike had made me feel more optimistic, but the nagging fear remained and with it a dollop of guilt that I had told him about it and not Richard.

After Rob had walked away last night, we had both broken apart and Mike had apologised for putting me in such a compromising position. Even though we had only kissed and held each other, I had the feeling that Rob would use the knowledge to his advantage and I hated the thought of him leering at us when I had been feeling so special and relaxed. Nothing had been said when we joined the others for coffee on the terrace but I could sense Rob watching me, a sardonic smile on his face. Would he tell Richard and Lisa, I wondered, or would he keep us in suspense for the duration of our stay, hanging out the dread and seeing us squirm with guilt?

Switching off the shower I wrapped a towel around my tingling body and went back into the bedroom. Richard was awake and making a cup of coffee in a small percolator that our hosts had so kindly supplied. Everything had been thought of and I couldn't fault Jilly's ability as hostess. The meal last night had been superb and the wines delicious. There was no doubt we were saving a vast amount of money by staying here, but it didn't make me feel any easier about accepting their hospitality.

The vase had been received with delight but it was Richard who had given it to her and no doubt she thought that he had played a major part in its purchase. I thought back to how she had acted around my husband and wondered whether his insistence on staying here had been because of Jilly and not Jake. The suspicion that he had been having an affair back at home returned with a vengeance and I was confronted with the sudden thought that it was my husband who was being unfaithful and not me.

We sat and drank our coffee on the small terrace that ran along the length of the rooms in this wing of the house. It was warm already and I hoped that today I'd be able to catch up with a little sunbathing rather than face a full list of activities. A day of doing nothing and just resting suited me fine.

As we sat and chatted, I saw Mike emerge from his room, a towel wrapped around his waist. I couldn't help staring at his tanned and firm torso, his broad chest covered by a sprinkling of dark hairs. He saw me looking and smiled, our eyes locking together in an unspoken agreement. I felt that warm jolt of happiness pass through me again and knew that whatever happened I had a good friend in Mike.

Breakfast was set out on the large terrace by the house and I wore my sunglasses in an effort to avoid meeting Rob's gaze. He looked hungover this morning with bloodshot eyes and a shadow of stubble covering his chin. I wondered what Diana was doing with him, their different personalities making them incompatible, I would have thought. Her quiet friendliness and caring nature was an antidote to his lecherous and unsavoury behaviour, a trait that seemed at odds with his wife's cheerful disposition.

Breakfast was long and leisurely with glasses of Champagne making another appearance. Mixed with fresh orange juice it managed to relax me enough to appear pleasant to Rob; the last thing I wanted was to annoy him further, but I noticed Mike was giving him a wide berth, his whole attention focused on Lisa and I felt a pang of envy as I watched them together. Lisa was obviously confident in her relationship with Mike and I wondered whether last night was just his way of comforting me or whether he felt the same attraction as I did.

Jake was loud and enthusiastic over breakfast, his eyes resting on mine time and again and I yearned to get him alone and ask him the truth about his friendship with my husband. But today had been earmarked for golf and all the men were expected to accompany Jake to the local course where a game had been booked followed by a long lunch at a nearby restaurant. I seethed inside when I learned of this development and could only imagine how Jake and Jilly had discussed the arrangements, managing to manipulate us all to their satisfaction. I had a sudden desire to ask if I could go along and act as caddy, but I didn't want to let Jilly know how angry I was, or let Lisa and Diana down.

I decided to make use of the freedom and try and sunbathe. The day was warm and sunny and I would lie by the pool and indulge in one of the fat novels I had bought with me. If Jilly had other plans then she could go to hell. This holiday had been stressful enough up until now and I just wanted some space to reflect on my thoughts and try and make sense of how my life was headed.

Back in our room, as I slipped into my swimsuit, I saw Richard's eyes light up. "Is that new?"

I nodded and smoothed the lycra over my curves. "I'm going to enjoy myself today and relax. Any objections?"

He looked startled by my vehement tone. "No, of course not. It'll give you a chance to get to know Jilly. She's a great woman."

I eyed him suspiciously. "Well, you would know."

He shrugged his shoulders and reached for his wallet. "And you seemed pretty close to Mike again. Where were you after dinner, by the way?"

"Just talking."

"About what?"

"I could ask you the same thing. When you and Jilly were so cosy after inspecting the vines." I laughed, but my eyes remained hard. "Giving you a lesson in viticulture was she?"

"Oh, I knew that would be mentioned. Typical you, hey? Always so bloody suspicious."

I ignored him and wrapped a satin sarong around me, the flowing material making me feel feminine and pretty. "Enjoy your golf, Richard. I'm sure that Jake will ensure he wins. That's his style."

Grabbing my sunglasses I made my way back out into the warmth of the day, my eyes immediately drawn to Mike as he stood on the terrace of his room, immaculate in shorts and shirt.

"How are you?" he asked.

I slowed my pace and smiled back at him. "I'm fine now. Thank you so much for listening to me last night. It was just what I needed."

"Look, Louise, it's not a problem. I have four sisters so I'm used to listening to women!"

I recognised his attempt to lighten the tone of our conversation and I felt my heart sink a little. Was I misjudging his feelings for me?

He came over and kissed me on the cheek. "You're incredibly beautiful, Louise. You deserve some happiness in your life."

His words made me melt inside and I felt the tears spring to my eyes. My emotions were so near the surface just lately and I wondered how I would cope with the coming months back at home. The negotiations with the business and the probing that would take place when I visited my doctor.

He lifted my chin and gazed straight into my eyes. "I'm here, Louise. Don't forget that."

His brown eyes were full of concern and I marvelled at how close we were after such a short acquaintance. "Why don't you mention this to Diana and Lisa today? Share the problem. You never know, they may have experience of this type of thing themselves."

I nodded, my eyes still locked on his. I would miss his presence today and I realised that I was becoming dependent on him and his calm reassurance.

"Have a good day." I smiled and managed to look cheerful. "I'm going to relax and enjoy the sun while I can."

"Good. Just think of us walking around a blazing hot golf course..."

I laughed and for a moment we stood and gazed at each other, the tension between us palpable. It was Jake, coming to round up his group of admirers for the game who broke the spell, but not before he noticed the look on my face...

*

Despite my misgivings, the day was a pleasant one. The heat intensified as midday approached and I took refuge under a huge umbrella, occasionally immersing myself in the azure depths of the pool to cool off. The peace and stillness of the old farmhouse was complete and even the dogs were quiet, basking in the shade of a large tree and dreaming in their sleep, their legs twitching in an imaginary hunt. Conversation was slow and sporadic and I gave up concentrating on my book, closing my eyes as the sun soaked into my heated skin, making me melt inside and chasing all my worries away.

Jilly's housekeeper had set up lunch on a shaded table and I realised I was looking forward to getting to know the other women a little more. A carafe of rose wine stood on the table along with crusty bread, pate and ham. Jilly presided over lunch and kept up an endless flow of chatter directed mainly at Lisa who, more than once, glanced at me and rolled her eyes. She was obviously used to the domineering ways of our hostess and seemed to go along with her in an attempt to keep the peace.

"Louise? Are you OK?"

I looked up in surprise to see Jilly peering at me intently. Her features were very bird-like, I noticed, and her eyes were now boring into mine, making me feel distinctly uncomfortable.

"I'm fine," I replied, raising a glass of wine to her. "The lunch is wonderful."

"Only you seem very quiet. Missing the children?"

"Well, yes of course. But they're in good hands."

"Ours are still at school for the next couple of weeks. Such a bloody expense!" She tittered and I smiled. Of course, she loved the fact that their boarding school was one of the best in the country and the fees astronomical. It gave her the upper hand against us all.

"What about you, Diana? How are your two now?"

I listened as Diana quietly explained that her twin boys were just finishing their first year of University and how she missed them being away from home. Her face lit up as she talked about them and she almost stumbled over her words with the sheer enthusiasm she was feeling. She was obviously proud of their achievements and I marvelled at how different she was to Jilly who seemed intent on making sure her children were destined for the "right" University without worrying if they would be happy there.

Unwilling to join in the conversation about school fees and the sense of competition it engendered, I stayed quiet, wishing I could go back to my peaceful spot in the garden and fall asleep. The last few disturbed nights were catching up with me and the hot sun and lunch were combining to make me feel drowsy. But Jilly wasn't going to let me off so lightly and her attention was back on me as we finished the last dregs of wine.

"How's the business, Louise? Jake was telling me that you've bought another company."

I stared at her and wished fervently that I was the sort of woman who could be rude and not worry about it. I would have loved to tell her to go to hell as I knew exactly why she was so interested. Her malicious objective was to make me squirm in front of the other women and heighten her sense of power over me.

"Yes, we bought another printing firm recently, and of course, that always puts a strain on the finances."

"But all's going well?"

"I believe so, Jilly. You know yourself that Richard has more to do with the day-to-day running of the company than I do."

"Oh yes, children and family life. Doesn't leave a lot of room for anything else, does it?"

"I should help Mike more with the vineyard," mused Lisa, "but there's always so much to do with the house."

I looked at her gratefully, but she seemed lost in thought and I felt that twinge of envy again as I imagined their life together in an idyllic Provencal vineyard.

"It's all I've ever done," said Diana, helping herself to another piece of crusty bread. "I just fell into the role of wife and mother and Rob never expected anything else. I doubt whether I could hold down a job now anyway."

Jilly glanced at her with a pitying smile on her face and my feelings of dislike deepened. What made her so nasty, I wondered? Was she happy with Jake and her lifestyle or did she secretly yearn to have a more fulfilling life? I thought back to the conversation with Jake at the start of our holiday and remembered his bitterness towards his wife, the sad look on his face when he said he didn't see enough of his children. Who was right here?

"Any plans to have children, Lisa?" Jilly asked the question and I saw her glance briefly at me as she spoke.

"Not at the moment. Mike's so busy with the vines and we aren't even married yet. I'm only 26 so there's plenty of time."

"Yes, of course. Mike doesn't feel that time is slipping away then?"

Lisa looked up in surprise. "He's only just turned 40, Jilly. That hardly makes him ancient."

Jilly laughed but her eyes remained cold. "So when's the wedding planned for?"

I saw how uncomfortable Lisa felt. Jilly was obviously touching on a sensitive subject and probably one that was a matter for private discussion between Mike and Lisa. I felt like a voyeur and I could see that Diana felt apprehensive, too.

Rising to my feet I glanced at my watch and informed my hostess that I was going to relax for a while. "This sun is so warm, I can't keep awake."

Jilly looked surprised at my actions and shrugged her shoulders. "I was hoping we'd all go and have a coffee in the house. I try and stay out of the sun in the afternoons."

"Well, don't let me stop you. I just need to close my eyes for a while."

With a smile for Diana and Lisa, I made my way over to the sun lounger and collapsed onto the padded surface. It was an effort to keep my eyes open and making sure I was totally in the shade, I felt myself drift off to sleep, the loud voice of Jilly shepherding the other two women into the house the last thing I heard.

*

I awoke two hours later with a mouth like dry bread and the beginnings of a major headache. The sun had shifted in the sky and the earlier heat had gone but it was still warm and nothing stirred, the silence of the afternoon absolute. I lay there for a while, remembering the conversation at lunch, and deciding that Jilly was to be avoided at all costs for the remainder of our stay. I was certain she knew more about the state of the business than she let on and I wondered whether she had been involved with Jake back in the UK. Richard was obviously eager for her to know our affairs and I began to suspect that this visit was a way of softening me up in readiness for a nasty surprise.

I'm sure that the meeting with Jake wasn't a complete coincidence and if the business had been in trouble for some time, maybe Richard had already investigated various avenues of financial help. I dreaded to think of the extent of Jake and Jilly's involvement in my family's company.

Desperately needing some water to ease my parched throat, I made my way into the cool of the house. I had never been to the kitchen but I found my way there easily, the loud banging of pots and pans a clue as to where it was.

It was just as I imagined it – stone flagged floors and a huge Aga dominating the room with expensive units filling every available space. A slender blonde woman was preparing cuts of meat and smiled as I entered.

"Bonjour Madam, can I get you anything?"

I asked for water and she opened a huge walk in fridge, the chilled bottle of Perrier slaking my thirst and lessening the headache slightly. I thanked her and decided a cool shower would go some way to making me feel even better and also keep me out of Jilly's way, but to my dismay she appeared at the doorway, her trademark smile in place.

"Louise! How are you? You looked so peaceful that we let you sleep on. Lisa and Diana have gone back to their rooms for a nap. Is everything alright?"

I nodded. "Yes, I'm fine, I just need a shower."

"Of course. Can I walk back with you?"

I couldn't refuse, so with a sense of dread, I accompanied her over to the guest wing of the house, her chatter about lunch and how nice it was to get to know me just confirming my belief that she was shallow and false.

As we stood outside the door to the room, she took both my hands in hers. "Louise, I didn't really want to say too much in front of the others, but I understand completely."

I looked at her in surprise. Wanting to wrench my hands away from her, but feeling that this would go against me, I demanded to know what she meant.

"The business... Richard's told me all about the difficulties you've been having. Jake and I want to help so much."

I felt the anger well up inside me and it took every ounce of willpower not to pull away from her touch. "He had no right, Jilly. This is a private matter between the two of us. We can handle it."

"It was her turn to look surprised. "Really? But he said the situation wasn't good. How are you going to help him?"

"When did he tell you about this?"

"Oh, some time ago. I can't remember exactly when, but you know he met Jake in London back in April, don't you?"

I didn't know and my worst fears were being realised as we spoke. My mind was full of images of my husband and Jake together, discussing the business and having secret conversations behind my back. Did my parents know what was going on, I wondered?

"Jilly, I need to go and have a shower. I'll talk to Richard about this when he gets back. I'd rather you didn't say anything about it to the others. Would you mind?"

"No, of course not, Louise. I just thought you might have wanted to talk about things, that's all. I know it helps to share problems." She looked at me expectantly and I gritted my teeth at the false look of sympathy in her eyes.

"This is really between Richard and me, and of course, my parents. It's their business."