Claire "Cece" Cleary
Friday, August 9th, 2013
Cece awoke to the sound of metal crashing to the floor. She was out of bed in a flash, rushing out of her room and into her dad's one door over. He was on the floor next to his bed, his walker tipped over next to him.
"Fucking shit piece of shit thing," he said.
She helped him up off the floor. It was not the easiest thing in the world. Her dad was still a pretty big guy and being able to help him in situations like this was one of the main reasons she'd become so dedicated to her gym routine. Once he was up and steady with his hands on the bed, she righted his walker.
"You're supposed to call me if you need to get out of bed, Dad," Cece said.
"I don't need help getting out of my own damn bed. That stupid thing just wasn't in the right place and I stepped on it."
Cece shook her head. His moods had been getting more volatile lately, which wasn't a great sign. The motor symptoms of Parkinson's came on first and were what most people associated with the disease, but the cognitive effects started to show up as things progressed.
He took hold of his walker and started toward the bathroom.
"Do you need any help?" she asked him.
"Claire, please allow your father the dignity of wiping his own ass for as long as it's still possible," he said, the warmth and joy suddenly back in his voice even as he dealt directly with the reality of his progressing disease.
Cece couldn't help but laugh. "Fine, Dad. But please call me if you need anything. That's why I'm here."
"I thought you were here because you missed your dad and couldn't stand to be on the other side of the country from me."
"That too. Are you going to get back into bed, or are you up now?"
"I'm up. Can you make me some breakfast?"
Cece nodded, though she grumbled a bit internally. A glance at her dad's alarm clock told her that it was only a few minutes after four in the morning. She really could have used a bit more sleep. "Sure, Dad. What do you want?"
"Do we still have any of that potato and sausage hash?"
"Yeah, I'll heat some up for you."
"Thank you, Claire."
Cece went into the kitchen and dug the leftovers out of the fridge, popping them into the microwave to heat up. It was still too early for her to have much of an appetite, so she made up a plate for her dad and just grabbed a banana for herself. When her dad made his way out of his room and into the kitchen she sat down at the table with him. He crossed himself and prayed silently before digging into his food.
"Are you sure you'll be okay if I go out tonight?" Cece asked her dad.
"Yes, yes, I'll be fine," he said as he lifted a forkful of sausage and potatoes to his mouth, his shaking hands spilling some of the food back down onto his plate. "I'll be in bed by then anyways."
"And look how well that worked out for you this morning," she said.
"It was one fall, Claire. I'm not an invalid."
"Dad, I'm serious. I won't be able to have a good time if I'm worrying about you all night."
"I'll be fine. I promise I won't even get out of bed the whole time you're gone."
"What if you need to use the bathroom?"
"I'll just bring a bottle to bed."
"Dad, gross!"
He laughed, full and hearty. "Claire, I want you to go out and have fun. You need it, after that jerk-"
"Please don't, dad. It's fine."
He grumbled a little bit but didn't continue his thought. "This one is nice, yes?"
"I think so," she said,
"You thought Liam was-"
"Dad, seriously. I don't want to talk about that. It's over."
"Does this boy go to church?" he continued.
"We haven't talked about it, but I don't think so."
"Hm."
"I don't really go either, Dad."
"You go every week!"
"No, you go every week, and I take you. I sit there. I don't take communion."
"The graces are still working on your heart, Claire."
"What was it they used to tell us in youth group? 'Just sitting in a garage doesn't make you a car?' Just because I'm sitting in church it doesn't mean I'm a Catholic, Dad."
"No, the fact that we got you baptized when you were a month old makes you a Catholic."
"Can we not do this right now? I don't think he believes. I don't, either. Not anymore."
"Your mother would-"
"Do
not
try to bring Mom into this."
"Fine," he said, resuming his meal. They were silent for several minutes as he ate. When he was finished, he set down his fork. "I love you, Claire," he said.
Cece sighed. "I love you too, Dad."
"Do you need help picking out your clothes for your date?"
"Ha! Not from you!"
She reached out and took his trembling hand in hers, the two of them grinning at each other.
Ryan
"Are you okay?" I asked Cece as she slid into my passenger seat. She looked just a bit less put together than normal, and I could tell from the way she had walked down the driveway that she was dragging a bit.
She had to cover her yawn with a hand before she could get out an answer. "Yeah, just tired. Didn't get much sleep. Been up with Dad since about four."
"That doesn't sound fun. Are you sure you don't want to just get some rest?"
"No, I'm fine. Just need to get myself going."
"Maybe we should just go grab some coffee instead of hitting the gym this morning."
"I said I'm fine, Ryan," she said, with a bit of an edge. She winced just a second later. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap at you. I guess I am a bit tired and cranky this morning."
"I get it. I'm not really a morning person either, and I didn't have to get up hours ago."
"Still, I'm sorry."
"I forgive you. Everyone's allowed a grumpy morning here and there."
"Thanks."
We didn't talk much on the drive to the gym. Cece seemed as if it was taking everything she had just to stay awake. When we arrived at the gym she went off to workout on her own without a word.
