Spellman

Wednesday, July 31st, 2013

Cece gave me a shy smile as she climbed into my car. "Good morning, Ryan."

"Morning. I don't know about you, but I'm feeling the late night right now. Didn't get to sleep until close to midnight."

"I crashed probably five minutes after you dropped me off. Still, that's way later than I'm used to. I feel like such an old lady. Dad usually goes to bed between six and seven, and I haven't had much to do since moving down here so I'm usually not too far behind. Nine-thirty is a late night for me, lately."

"I'm not sure if I should feel sorry for keeping you out past your bedtime, or happy that you were willing to stay out late to hang out."

"The second one, for sure," she said. "It's nice to have things to do again."

"Then I guess I'll just have to keep offering you opportunities to get out of the house."

"Please do."

"Do you have any music requests for the few minutes we're in the car?"

"I'm fine with whatever. My music tastes are all over the place. You pick up all sorts of things when you have six older siblings."

'I still can't even imagine what that's like."

"Crazy, that's what, but with a whole lot of love."

We arrived at the gym and thanked Paul again for getting us the tickets last night.

"It was my pleasure. Sorry about Jason, though. Can't stand the guy. Next time we'll just have to bring enough people to use up the whole block. Jackie was very curious about why I was out with three twenty-something ladies, but I told her that they were all yours, so I didn't get in too much trouble."

"I'm surprised you even mentioned it, honestly," I said.

He just shrugged. "Why wouldn't I? I didn't have anything to hide. She asked who I went to the game with so I told her. She trusts that I'm not doing anything I shouldn't be."

"If I would have mentioned something like that to my ex she'd be a mess."

"Doesn't sound very healthy to me," Cece said.

"Well, there's a reason she's my ex and not my wife."

"Speaking of wives, Jackie still wants to meet you. I told her I'd try to find a time you could come over. She's having a lunch thing with some people from work on Sunday. They're a bit of a drag, but if you could make an appearance I promise we'll sneak back into the den to watch the Padres game."

"I don't think I have any plans, and I can think of worse things to do on a Sunday afternoon than eat some free food and watch some baseball with a buddy."

"My man," he said, raising his hand for a high five. "You're welcome as well, Cece," he added.

She shook her head. "Thanks, but I don't want to intrude on guy time. Plus Sunday afternoons are hard for me."

"No problem, maybe another time."

We went through our usual workouts. I got a bit of a laugh seeing the sweet Cece I knew turn back into the gym's resident Ice Queen when she was approached by a guy after we'd been there for about twenty minutes. I'm not sure what I had done to warrant her opening up to me, but I was glad she had. Despite her comments yesterday about feeling gross seeing me all showered and dressed up for work while she was still in her gym clothes, she once again decided not to bring her things to freshen up at the gym.

"I thought about it," she said when I asked her about it, "but I decided it wasn't worth it. I'm not going to hold you up so I can do my hair and makeup in the locker room, and if I'm going to have to do all that at home I might as well do everything there."

I dropped her off at home and headed to work. The morning was spent working out the schedule for handling things like the car line for morning drop-offs and afternoon pick-ups, bus duty, lunch rotations, etc. I knew I'd already be cutting things close with my workouts in the mornings, so I volunteered to take one of the slots with the afternoon pick-up line. It meant I couldn't take off as soon as school was done, but the extra forty-five minutes or so wouldn't be too bad. It wasn't like I ever had any pressing afternoon plans. I would also be one of the teachers charged with keeping an eye on things during lunch on Mondays and Tuesdays. The other days I'd be free to do my own things during that time.

Emma found me after the meeting and asked if I was still good to grab lunch with her. I was, so we both climbed into my car. "What sounds good to you?" I asked.

"I'm not picky," she said, "but I've really been craving a burger all day."

"Gotcha. In-N-Out it is."

"Ugh, you Californians and your In-N-Out. It's fine, but it's not as good as Whataburger."

"You keep that Texan blasphemy out of my car."

She offered to pay for my lunch as a way to pay me back for getting the tickets to the game yesterday, but I told her that Paul had arranged that. She insisted that it was still my invitation that got her into the game for free, so I relented. One polite refusal was enough for me, I wasn't going to be too prideful to accept her offer once it was repeated.

She didn't waste any time once we were seated across from each other in a booth. "I wanted to apologize for yesterday," she said.

"Apologize for what?" This certainly wasn't what I had expected the conversation to be like.

"For the way I was acting. I...do you mind if I get a little personal here? It's a bit hard to explain."

"Not at all."

"All right, so...I know that I can come on a bit strong. I'm brash, aggressive, some would say bitchy. As my mom would sometimes say, I've got a personality as big as Texas."

I laughed at that. "I might have noticed," I said. "It's not a bad thing, though. You seem like a lot of fun."

"Honey, you've got no idea," she said with a wink, but then she pursed her lips and frowned. "Okay, see, that's part of the problem."

"What problem?"

"Don't take this the wrong way, or think I've got some kind of complex. I just don't know how to best explain it."

"Okay..."

"Daddy's a real man's man, your stereotypical Texan cowboy turned Marine turned football coach, and I've always been a daddy's girl. When I was growing up I was his little princess. But once my younger brothers started getting older and into football, I found that he was giving them a lot more attention, attention that I thought should have gone to me. I did my best to stay involved with everything they were doing, and I took up golf because I thought it would be another way for us to spend time together, but really nothing came before football. So when I hit my teens, I found that the only way I could guarantee getting daddy's attention was to...act out."

She cleared her throat before continuing. "I was a bit of a hell-raiser. I'd stay out late or just sneak out, go out drinking and dancing with a fake ID, things like that, and of course the number one way I could guarantee I'd get daddy on high-alert was if there was a boy involved. Let's just say that dads with shotguns is not just a thing in the movies."

I nodded. "Stay away from your dad, got it."

"I actually think he'd like you, but that's not the point I'm trying to get at," she said. "Melissa and Tori both told me to cool it a bit yesterday, after everything that happened on Monday, but when I saw you brought...Claire?" I nodded. "When I saw Claire I just slipped right back into my usual way of doing things to try to get attention. Including flirting with that creep, hoping it would make you jealous. I noticed pretty quickly that it wasn't working, though."

"I figured that's what was happening."

"Look, what I'm trying to say is...I know I can come off a bit rough around the edges. I'm not for everyone, and I'm okay with that, but I'm not going to beat around the bush. I'm attracted to you. I guess I don't know if I'm your type or not, but I know I'm not unattractive. I know you've slept with Melissa and Tori, so it's not like you have some hang-up about screwing around with other teachers at the school. I just think we could have some fun together. I'm going to try to stop playing the sort of games I usually play and just be upfront with you about everything."

"It's not that I'm not attracted to you Emma, I am, but I just don't know if I'm in a good place to just be jumping into stuff so quickly, especially with someone I work with. I'm still not sure exactly what's going on with Melissa and Tori, and it wouldn't have happened if Tori wasn't my ex."

"I'm not asking to go screw in the backseat of your car right now, Ryan. I'm just saying don't shut down the possibility completely. We've got plenty of time to get to know each other. How about you just save a few drinks and dances for me when we all go out on Friday, and we see where things go from there?"

"Sure, I can do that. Like I said, Emma, you seem like a lot of fun. I still worry a bit about things getting spread around. Obviously it was a very different situation, but I've already had to deal with rumors about me going around where I worked. I don't want to somehow become the 'school slut' or whatever."

"Ha, I get it. Trust me, a lot of people at the school already think that about me, even if they don't actually know anything. They just make a lot of assumptions, most of them incorrect."

We finished up our lunch and drove back to Spellman. I thanked Emma again for the food and told her that I was looking forward to Friday night, which put a smile on her face. I was still wary of letting myself get too out of control with people I worked with, but I could handle a little bit of fun. I finished up the rest of my work day poring over Mrs. White's binder and making more copies.

My phone rang while I was driving home, a call from a San Diego area code. Though I'd usually just let calls from an unknown number go to voicemail, I decided to answer it. I accepted the call and put it on speaker.

"Hello, this is Ryan."

"Wow, you don't even have my number in your phone, do you?" a female voice asked. It took me a second to recognize the speaker.

"Beth?"

"The one and only!"

"Wow, it's great to hear from you. You finally back in town?"

"Yeah, I took the red eye last night."

"Cool. I'd love to see you and catch up whenever you're free."

"What do you have going on tomorrow?" she asked.

"Nothing really, just working. I should be able to get out of there pretty early though. Do you want me to give you a call when I'm done? Probably between one and two."

"Sure, that sounds good. Why don't we meet at Surfside for some pizza, like old times?"

"That's perfect. I'll let you know when I'm finishing up at the school."

"I'll see you tomorrow then."

"Hey Beth?" I said.

"Yeah?"

"It's really good to hear your voice. I'm excited to see you."

She was quiet for a long moment before she answered, "Yeah, me too. See you tomorrow."

Thursday, August 1st, 2013

Thursday started out much like Wednesday. Cece and I were definitely getting much more comfortable with each other. The mechanic had called yesterday and told her that she would be able to pick up her car later this afternoon. I was actually going to be disappointed when her car was fixed and she didn't need me to pick her up anymore.

"You know," I said to her as we were driving back to her house after finishing up at the gym, "if you wanted, you could still ride with me to the gym in the mornings even after you get your car back. It's really not a hassle for me."

The left side of her face quirked up in a half-smile. "Why Ryan, you keep saying things like that and I might start to think you actually enjoy my company."

"I do. It's nice having someone to talk to in the mornings."

"If you're sure, I guess I don't mind having someone chauffeur me around. Be careful, though. I might get too used to it and expect you to drive me everywhere I need to go."

"Not sure if that's feasible, but if you can pay better than the school then maybe we can talk about it." I stopped in front of her house. "See you tomorrow, then."

"See you tomorrow, Jeeves," she said, laughing as she got out of the car. I took a moment to appreciate the view as she walked up the driveway, which had quickly become one of the regular highlights of my day. That girl's ass was truly a work of art.

The work day dragged by slowly. I did spend a little bit of time with Riley going over some of the things in Mrs. White's binder and it really wasn't too awkward at all. We even shared a few laughs as we discussed a couple of the lessons. I found that I was pretty much completely over any resentment I had felt towards her for the circumstances of our initial meeting. There was no point in staying mad about it, and I recognized that I had overreacted in the first place. Maybe we'd actually be able to get through this school year without any of that being a problem after all.

I skipped taking a lunch break so I could leave around one. I sent Beth a text when I was wrapping up and she told me she'd meet me at Surfside. I arrived before her and grabbed a table out on the patio. The place wasn't actually on the beach, but it was close enough to get a nice ocean breeze. While I was waiting for Beth to arrive I texted a bit with Paul to clarify the plans for Sunday. His wife, Jackie, was a professor and they were having some people from her department over for lunch. I could see why Paul thought that a gathering of math PhDs might be a bit of a bore. Maybe that was unfair. I'm sure they were plenty entertaining for people who were smart enough to keep up with them. I was not. Amanda probably would have fit right in.

"Ryan!"

I looked up from my phone but couldn't immediately spot Beth in the crowd of people passing by on the sidewalk. A young woman with two-tone hair cut just above her shoulders, pink on the left side of her head and black on the right, waved at me as she walked closer. It took me a second to realize that it was Beth.

"Wow, Beth," I said when she reached me. "I didn't even recognize you." In addition to the bold hairstyle, she had a heavy dose of colorful eyeshadow--blue and pink and orange working together in an artful combination. Her ears each had probably half a dozen piercings, her nose had a subtle stud, and I spotted a tongue piercing as well. The woman standing in front of me was nothing like the plain girl I had grown up with.

She crashed into me with a hug, the top of her head coming in just under my chin. "Yeah, I guess I've changed up my look a little bit since you last saw me."

"That's an understatement if I ever heard one. You look awesome. I'm not sure I'm cool enough to be seen with you though."

"Yeah, that's probably true," she said. "If anyone sees me with a preppy guy like you it's going to ruin my reputation."

We sat down at the table. "How was Hawaii?" I asked.

"It was great, I had a ton of fun. I got to drink lots of foofy drinks by the pool, take some photos, and I hooked up with one of the groomsmen. A successful wedding."

"Good for you," I said with a laugh. "I'm jealous, I've always wanted to go to Hawaii."

"What about you? I hear your life's all kinds of fucked up now."

"Wow, brutal."

"Call it like I see it. Mom didn't give me all the details, but I do know that I had a Save the Date for your wedding hanging up on my fridge for a while, and that the date that I was saving has passed but you aren't married."

Our waiter showed up and took our order for drinks and a large BBQ chicken pizza to share.

"I guess you're not wrong. A lot of stuff has happened in the past few months. 'Fucked up' is as good a way to describe it as any."

"So now that your life up north has blown up you decided to come down and slum it with all the people you left behind," she said, with more than a hint of venom.

It took me a second to get over my shock at her sudden shift in tone. "Beth, I'm sorry. I thought you were excited to see me?"

She sighed. "I am. But I'm also still pissed off. Can I be honest with you?"

"Of course."

"I was really, really mad at you for a while. A long while. Not about us drifting apart in high school. We had different interests, ran in different crowds, we were never going to stay best friends forever. I knew that." She took a deep breath. "But even if we weren't best friends like we were as kids, we'd still see each other, we'd still hang out sometimes, and we'd still talk. I was okay not being your best friend anymore, because I thought that we had something more solid. I thought we were family. That's why it pissed me off so much when you moved away and pretty much disappeared. I thought I'd still get to see you when you came home for the holidays, but you never did. I always sort of saw myself as your little sister, and it felt like my big brother had just abandoned me."

"Beth, I'm so sorry, I didn't-"

"I know you didn't. I understand that the shit with your parents made it tough. It still hurt, though. It took me a while to get over it, to finally get the perspective that allowed me to see things from your side. You had a lot going on, and I could have done more on my end to keep our lines of communication open, but I was pissed off so I didn't. Once our communication started to fade, it was hard to get it back."

"Well I'm glad you just came out and said it. The two of us drifting apart is one of my biggest regrets, and I was already planning on apologizing to you for it. I just didn't realize how much it had hurt you. I'm really sorry."

"I'm over it. Like I said, you're family. Me being pissed off at you for years can't change that. That's why I'm excited to see you now. We can't change the past, but we can decide how we move forward. It's my decision to embrace this opportunity and get back some of the time I missed with my idiot big brother."

"Well, obviously you're much smarter and more mature about all of this than I have been. I want to embrace this opportunity, too. I sure could use some time with my little sister, especially if she's going to be able to be so blunt with me. I really need it right now."

"Good. Now that we have that settled, let's move on and eat some fucking pizza."

Between the two of us we ate the whole pizza and drank a couple pitchers of beer. Beth caught me up on some of the high-level details of her life that I had largely missed out on. She was doing well supporting herself as a photographer--mostly doing weddings and other events like that, though she made time for some more purely artistic stuff as well. She was also still painting and doing music. I told her to let me know if and when she was going to be playing somewhere so I could go see her.

I filled her in on what had caused my life to become 'all fucked up,' giving her all of the details. She deserved to know the whole story. I already felt so much better being able to open up to her like this, like when we were younger and had no secrets between us.

"I can't believe you almost married this girl and I never even met her. This is the shit I'm talking about. I probably could have saved you a lot of trouble by telling you what I thought of her."

I took another long drink of my beer. "That's not a bad idea. If I ever get serious with someone again, I'll make sure you can meet her so I can get your opinion."

"You fucking better," she said.

I paid for our food and drinks, step one in my twelve-step program of apologizing to my childhood best friend

slash

little sister for the way I had disappeared on her for all of these years. Neither of us were in a condition to drive, so we decided to walk down to the beach for a bit to sober up. I was amazed at how quickly we fell back into our old levels of comfort together. We joked and laughed at all sorts of stupid shit as we walked, just like we had done when we were younger.

Once we had wandered around enough to clear our buzz, I walked Beth back to her car. "Beth, this was so great," I said, giving her a hug. "Thanks for being so cool and willing to forgive me for being an inconsiderate ass. I'm glad I have a chance to make it up to you."