I didn't rush through my shower, but I did make it quick. I was anxious to talk to Tori and figure out what was going on, at the very least so I could have something objective in my head instead of all of the crazy possibilities that my brain kept inventing. When I came back out to the living room Tori was sitting on the couch, sipping at her coffee and staring at the wall. I sat down and put my arm around her. She leaned into me and rested her head on my shoulder. We sat there together in silence like that for several minutes before she sighed, put her coffee on the table, and turned to face me.
"Okay, so. This is going to be a lot, but please bear with me." She bit her lip. "Do you know how long it had been since we'd seen each other, before yesterday?"
I smiled and nodded. "Two-thousand, four-hundred and thirty-four days."
Her gloomy expression was replaced with a smile for just a moment. "I guess I wasn't the only one thinking about that." She sighed, and the gloom returned. "These two-thousand, four-hundred and thirty-four days were nothing like I thought they'd be when I broke up with you, but I need to tell you some of what I've been through so you can better understand who I am today."
I nodded but didn't say anything, then took one of her hands in mine and gave it a reassuring squeeze.
"Might as well start with the big thing first, since it's sort of the cause of everything else." She took a deep breath. "I have a son. His name is Anthony, and he'll be seven in a few weeks."
I started to feel a bit dizzy as my brain tried to process that. Tori has a kid? His name is Anthony.
My middle name is Anthony
. And he's almost seven years old. I tried to do the math in my head. How many weeks is a few? Three? Five? How long
exactly
does pregnancy take?
Tori saw the look on my face and rescued me from my mental spiral. "He's not yours."
I let out a breath that I didn't know I had been holding. "Okay, but..."
"I know. Yes, I did sort of name him after you, even if he's not your son. I was still in love with you, and couldn't believe that I was going to have a baby with some guy who wasn't you. But remember I also have a grandfather named Antonio. And yes, the math is pretty close. I got knocked up by the first guy I slept with after we broke up. Pretty stupid, huh?"
I still didn't know what to say.
"Anyways. We broke up, and then a few weeks later I got knocked up. And that's where things started to go downhill." Tori sniffled and wiped her eyes. "I didn't know what to do. I obviously considered an abortion, but in the end I just couldn't go through with it. I knew I would have to tell my parents eventually, but I was terrified, and apparently rightfully so. I got really sick while I was pregnant. I tried to manage it, but I couldn't. It started affecting school, and soccer, and everything. Finally I had to tell my parents. They were furious. They yelled and screamed and cried. And then they kicked me out of the house." Tori would have just turned eighteen on December fifteenth that year. "Luckily my car was in my name, or they probably would have taken that too. I was too embarrassed to tell anyone what had happened, so I lived in my car for a few weeks before Dayna Stephens figured out what was going on and told her parents. They took me in and let me live with them. By this point I was so far behind in school. My soccer season was toast, and schools started rescinding their scholarship offers as soon as it became clear what a mess my life had become. I was still really sick through all of this, and I just ended up withdrawing from the last semester of high school entirely. I'll spare you the details, but it took me a long time to get back on track. If the pregnancy was tough, childbirth was even worse, and I nearly died." She stopped to get herself back under control.
I pulled her close and held her. "It's okay, Tor. It's okay."
"And then Kyle, that's Anthony's father, he and his family sued for custody. I was a single mother, with no diploma, no job, and no real support structure after my parents kicked me out. I was basically homeless even though the Stephens had been letting me live with them. Kyle said that Anthony would be better off with him and his family." She started to cry again. "And the worst part was that he was right. I felt like such a failure. My whole life had been ruined, all of my plans, all of my dreams, and then I don't even get to keep the one good thing that came out of it. I thought about killing myself a lot that first year. I never actually attempted suicide, but I got close. I had plans, I had everything ready, but I never went through with it, thank god."
"It took me a long time to get myself back on track. Dayna's family was a big help. They're my real family now. I've only spoken to my parents twice since Anthony was born. I do Thanksgiving and Christmas and all that with the Stephens now. Eventually I made up my last credits from high school and started at community college. I overloaded myself with classes during the day and then worked at night until I managed to catch up to where I should have been and transferred to SDSU. I graduated and got my job at Spellman. I got to see Anthony more and more. Kyle and I even tried to have a relationship after I got myself into a better situation, but it just didn't really work. The only connection we ever really had was a single hookup that made our son. So we broke up, and he started dating this girl Kayla."
Tori made a disgusted face when she said the name Kayla. "She's awful. I hate her, and I hate that she gets to be more of a mother to my son than I do. For months now she's done everything she can she limit how often I get to see him. And then, last night..." She had to take several deep breaths to keep from breaking down again. "...last night, Kyle called me and told me that I needed to come over to his house so we could talk. When I got there, Anthony was asleep, and Kyle and Kayla were sitting in the kitchen. First, they told me that they were getting married. But then Kayla told me that once they're married, she wants to adopt Anthony. This bitch wants me to give up what little rights I already have to my son! They know it will be a bitch of a court fight if I don't terminate my rights, so they're trying to get me to agree to do it voluntarily. She threatened to keep me tied up in family court bullshit until I go bankrupt. Kyle's family has some money, but Kayla's has a ton. This fucking bitch! She thinks she can push me around, push me out of my son's life, just so she can feel more like his real mom. Well she's not! She's not his fucking mom! I am! I'm his mom!"
Tori started sobbing again, and it took me a moment to realize that I was crying right along with her. She cried and cried, just repeating "I'm his mom," over and over again. I couldn't do anything but hold her in my arms and slowly rock her. It took several minutes for her to regain any semblance of control. "Kyle's parents moved to Texas earlier this year. I just know that as soon as they get married they're going to try and follow them out there. They're trying to take my son away from me, Ryan. I won't let them. I won't let them take my baby away."
"I know you won't, Tor. And I won't either. I'll help you, however I can." I kissed her on the top of her head and just held her in silence for a long time, until my phone buzzed. It was a text from Melissa.
Hey, is T still there? She's not responding to my texts. Is she okay?
Yes, she's here. And no, she's not. Not really. She told me what's been going on, but things got worse than you even know last night. I'm going to try to get her home so she can talk to you.
"Hey Tor. Do you think you're okay to drive? Melissa is really worried about you. We should probably try to get you home. I can drive you if you need, or just follow you in my car."
Tori sniffled. "Yeah, I can drive. Give me a few minutes to wash my face and put some clothes on."
"You can keep that t-shirt, if you want. You'll probably want to put some pants on, though."
She gave a small laugh, the first I'd heard from her in a while, and then disappeared into my room. I texted Melissa again.
We'll be back there in about twenty-five minutes.
Okay, thanks Ryan. See you soon.
Tori emerged from my room a few minutes later, wearing the clothes she'd arrived in last night. "I'm going to do the walk of shame in my clothes from last night and I didn't even get laid. This sucks."
At least she can joke about things right now.
She got into her car and I followed her back to her apartment. Melissa met us at the door and immediately wrapped Tori up in a hug. They went into Tori's room to talk, but left the door open. I decided to give them some space and just sat on the couch. I could hear as Tori started to tell Melissa what had happened with Kyle and Kayla last night. Then she started to cry again, and then Melissa started to cry. They seemingly fed into each other with some sort of crying feedback loop. Eventually they settled down and resumed their conversation, though they were quieter now and I couldn't quite make out what they were saying. It was another ten minutes before Melissa stepped out of Tori's room. She came over to the couch and sat right on my lap, wrapping her arms around my neck and placing a big kiss on my lips.
"Thank you for being there for her and for taking care of her, both last night and this morning. I'm sorry I couldn't give you more of a heads up about what was going on in her life, but I'm sure you understand now why she had to be the one to tell you."
"I do. I'm glad I heard it all from her. You're a great friend to her, Melissa. I'm happy she has you."
She kissed me again, a long one that was full of passion even though our mouths stayed closed the whole time. "I'm happy that you're here for her now, too. She really needs you right now, maybe even more than she needs me. And that's why I think you need to go her right now. She needs to feel loved."
