Southern Dreams

"We are interviewing Mrs. Allison Clearborne of Boston, who is celebrating her 100

th

birthday today." the newscaster said, "Mrs. Clearborne could you tell us a little about what you have seen and learned over the years"

" Well," Allison started her voice strong but soft, "I guess the greatest thing I have learned is that love is the one thing that a person needs to feel like they are worth something. I have also learned that even when the one you love is gone, you can still go on with their memory. Over the past 100 years I have seen war after war from the Civil War to the war we are in now, World War II. I have watch family members march off more than once. I have seen changes in transportation from horse and buggy to automobiles. I have watched as men learn to fly and as babies have learned to crawl. A lot has changed in the last 100 years."

"I guess that is true Mrs. Clearborne. While there are those of us that can only read about certain historical events, you can say that you experienced them first hand. It is indeed an honor madam for this reporter to have the fortune and honor to be in the company of one such as you. I want to thank you for the opportunity to conduct this interview. Am I correct in saying that you were born in Virginia in the year of …let's see…ah yes…the year of 1843?"

"Yes it is."

"And is it also true that you married a Union soldier?"

" Yes, that is also true. Captain Robert Clearborne."

" Well I am sure that you have a lot of interesting stories, and with that in mind ladies and gentlemen I want to say that Mrs. Clearbourne has just finished working with Dianne Worthington on a book of her memories titled

'

Southern Dreams: My life in the South during the Civil War'

. Well, thank you Mrs. Clearborne and good luck with the book."

" Don't forget to tell them folks that all profits go to the Allison Clearborne Society for Wives and Mothers of Missing Service Men," Allison reminded the newscaster.

After the interview Allison laid back her head, resting it on the back of the rocker that she had grown so fond of. She closed her eyes and allowed her mind to drift back to a time when things were much simpler. She thought of her childhood, of her time growing up on the James River. The first time she had seen a Confederate or Union soldier. How she had never seen faces ravaged with pain as she did in those of the wounded that she sheltered when Robert first entered her life. She remembered the way that she grew up with her father and mother until her mothers' death and the way her father had changed after that. She smiles as she remembers the way she has been so shy around the tall gallant Yankee captain, all the while feeling such strange (at the time) feelings and having such unladylike thoughts. She sighs and a smile comes to her lips as she remembers the first time she and Robert came together, not at all like it was suppose to be, not married, nor engaged, just two people tired of being alone, tired of the war and all the sadness. Two people possessed with a need to be loved and a desire to love. It was a wonderful experience, one that was repeated time after time all through their lives. With her eyes closed, she can still remember his every touch, caress, the gentle way he had of holding her and making love to her. Eighty years later and she still holds these memories close to her heart, a place where only she harbors these precious gifts of the past that can still be opened to her now in the present. Just as she was about to dose off Allison felt a hand on her shoulder, she looked up and there was Dianne Worthington, a smile on her round angelic face.

" Allison, I have news for you about your book dear."

Allison fought off the desire to sleep. "What is that Dianne, what is the news?"

" Well I just finished talking with the publisher and she said that the first run will be 500,000 copies, and those are almost all going to be sold out within a week. So she is planning a second 500,000 run to make sure there are enough for everyone who wants to read it."

"You are right, that is just wonderful news Dianne, but if you do not mind I am so tired from that interview I just want to take a nap."

Dianne nodded her head and quietly left the room. Allison closed her eyes and flowed with the memories, following them back to Virginia, back to the old plantation where she grew up. The great house, now neglected, and the slave quarters a little more that just a bunch of collapsing buildings, but in her mind they were still full of splendor and strength. She remembered a time when she would run and play in front of the great house. Gathering the little black children and marching them back and forth like her father, Col. William Shannon. She remembered his laughter, as she would march around. She also remembered the way that her mother would sing to her at night before she fell asleep. The hot treats that Mammy would give her, even when mother said no. These were fond memories.

Alison grew up on the banks of the James River in Virginia. Born in 1843 she was the pride and joy of both her mother and father. Being the only girl in the brood did not hurt any either. The only real draw back to her childhood was the desire that her father had for her to marry a certain young man named Thomas Pierce, who at the age of 20 had become the second most prosperous land holder in the area. Second, that is, to Allison's father.

Allison remembers reading once in her mothers diary (which was not allowed as she found out when she was caught) about the way that her father reacted when she was born.

This day had been greatly anticipated by my Husband. The birth of his third child had taken place. It is every man's dream to have sons to carry on the family name, however for him, his was to have a daughter as well. How he hopes for a daughter that he could lavish with finest fashions, furnishings, toys, but most of all with all the love in his heart. I remember hearing him as he paces outside the door of the room where I am in the pains of childbirth. I know that he has heard my cries of pain as I gave birth to my child. I remember watching as Dr McDaniel left the room to announce to William that he has a beautiful healthy daughter with what seemed to be a tinge of sadness in his voice as he spoke. I remember William walking into the room and kissing my forehead telling me that I look radiant and the most beautiful that he has ever seen me and then looking at his daughter, his beautiful baby girl, laying next to me. He takes her in his arms and announces that her name shall be Allison (after his mother) Rose (from my maiden name) Shannon.

A smile flickers over Allison's face as she remembered these happier times. But the smile is fleeting as she remembers that fateful day that her mother died and her father became as no one she had ever known. Strangely distant, verbally and physically abusive of the slaves that he had once cared for. For Allison a different man, aloof and condescending towards her, nothing she would do was every right in his eyes and he took every chance to belittle her. She frowned as her mind brought back the painful memories of that day as she sat in quiet slumber.

Life had been good for her until the month April of 1862. It changes from blissfulness to a dark nightmare. It seems that one day her father is the man that she has known all her life and then he is transformed overnight to a man that she doesn't recognize. It is April 10th, 1862 and she had gotten up as usual and dressed. Instead of everyone gathering in the dining room for breakfast as usual, mother is weeping in the sitting room, her brothers have a look of puzzlement on their faces and her father is nowhere to be found. As she approaches her mother she sees a look on her face that she has never seen before. The closer she comes to her the more apparent the bruises become that discolor her mother's face. She remembers thinking that perhaps Yankees have come during the night, assaulted her mother and that her father has gone for revenge. She questions her mother but her mother will not answer her. She goes to her brothers and Jeb puts his arm around her and tells her that Yankees had not been there. He will not disclose to her what has happened, but he knows and so does Donald. She remembers trying to get her brother to tell her what was going on but she cannot get them to give her any information. The servants bring their horses up to the front porch and she sees her father riding up to meet them. She goes to speak with him and he looks at her with a coldness that she has never seen in his eyes before. After her father and brothers leave her mother orders a horse be saddled for her and leaves as well. Allison remembers the wait seemed to last forever, and then she saw her father and brothers ridding towards the house, and a fourth horse being led, a bundle tied to it's back. Upon closer inspection she saw that it was not a bundle but a body. She stood holding her breath as her father rode up to the porch.

"Allison go inside to your room", Allison's father said with a gruff quiet voice"

" But Father, what about Mother, she left and has not returned, What about…..?"

" I mean now child,

GO TO YOUR ROOM

," his voice booming, resounding off the porch. Allison ran to her room, stifling her tears until she was alone. She crept to the window looking down on the horse and it's burden. Suddenly it dawned on her that the horse belonged to her mother. Just as she was about to run back down stairs her brothers moved the body from the horse and an arm fell out, an arm that Allison knew well, for on the wrist there was a bracelet she had given to her mother just before her last birthday.

Allison remembered the funeral that followed and the change that came over her father. There were no words of comfort that came from her father's lips towards her. His eyes were void of any emotion at all when his gaze would fall upon her. She can understand the grief that he feels at the loss of the woman that he loved. However, why does she feel that in someway the death of her mother was her fault? Why did he make her feel that way? It was soon after that he and both of her brothers enlisted in the Confederate Army to fight against the North. The final words her father spoke to her as he was preparing to leave was that it was time for the Yanks to pay for the death of his beloved Gwendolyn and for all the pain they had caused. His final words to her were not those of a father leaving his daughter not knowing if they would ever be reunited or not, but were cold and direct. He instructed her that she was the mistress of the plantation but the overseer would supervise the overall management.

It was later in the day when Allison awoke from her nap. She could smell dinner beingprepared in the kitchen. She rose from her chair making her way to her room to get ready for dinner. Just as she started to her room there was a knock at the door. She moved, slowly to answer it. As she opened the door her heart almost stopped for there, standing in the doorway was Robert Clearborne, as large as life. She stumbled and almost fell. Strong hands reached out to steady her, helping her return to her rocker. She looked up, her voice weak.

"Robert, is it really you, Robert?"

" No ma'am," came the reply, " I am Richard".

Allison stopped to clear her thoughts. " Richard? Well you remind me a great deal of my departed husband Robert."

" Well ma'am there is a good reason for that. Your husband, Robert Clearborne was my great, great uncle. I have seen his picture and have been told many times that I favor him"

" Well tell me Richard, what brings you here?" Before he could answer Miss Molly, the cook came into the room and announced that dinner was ready. Molly looked at the tall young man sitting on the sofa and then at Allison.

" Have you had your dinner yet sir," Allison asked?

" No ma'am I have not eaten yet".

" Will you please stay for dinner and provide me with a bit of company?"

Before he could answer Allison looked to Molly instructing her to set another plate at the table.

Richard helped Allison up and steadied her as she walked to the dining room. After they had both been seated and the meal started Allison asked the reason for his visit.

" Well Miss Allison, I came to discuss my uncle with you. As you know there were some members of our family that did not understand the reasons for him marrying a southern woman during the great conflict and my great- great grandfather was one of them. I understand that he refused to even have Robert's name mentioned in his presence."

"I remember that there were those who objected to Robert marrying me but I did not realize that his own brother was one of them. I am truly sorry that you were deprived of that part of your family history."

" Well I was hoping that you would be able to tell me about your time with my uncle and about your lives together, if you do not mind."

" No I do not mind, I enjoy talking about Robert and our time together."

Allison calls for Molly to bring the coffee to the living room. "Let's retire to the living room and I will tell you about your great-great uncle."

Allison settled into her rocker, coffee cup in hand as Richard sat across from her on the large overstuffed couch. His lanky frame almost swallowed up in the abundance of material. Just as he was starting to get settled in he paused and asked if he could remove his jacket, to which Allison nodded. Richard stood up and slipped off his jacket settling back down settling into the couch as Allison watched his movements, again with memories flowing into her mind.

Allison looked at young Richard and smiled, " Well I guess the best place to start is at the beginning, when I first met your great-great uncle."

"It was in the early summer of 1862, and several of the servants were talking amongst themselves of how the heat is the most unbearable that it has been for years. I was 17 years old. My father was away fighting in the war and I was in charge of running the plantation. I had just dismissed one of the foremen for stealing and I was at a bit of a loss as to what to do. I was sitting with the little colored children teaching them to read from the Bible when one of the field hands came running to the house yelling that there were Yankee soldiers heading toward the house. I told the children to run back to their quarters and stood waiting for them to arrive. I had my father's pistol in the folds of my skirt, ready just in case. I had been keeping it with me since an earlier visit by some Yankee soldiers who had attempted to make themselves a little to at home. Your uncle came riding up to the house, sitting tall in his saddle, his uniform dusty but it still had an air of honor and gallantry about him. That is one thing that I caught on to right off. This was a different sort of man than I had been use to dealing with."

Allison closed her eyes as memories begin to come back to her. She could see the past like it was just a few hours ago. Every detail of every part of the plantation: the slaves, the buildings all coming back filling her mind like she had never left.

Sultry, humid, stifling is the only way to describe the elements of the early afternoon at Whispering Winds plantation. It is the summer of 1862 and several of the servants were discussing how the heat is the most unbearable that it has been for years. The only relief from the heat came from a soft breeze that blew of the James River. Gathered under the big oak tree, planted a hundred years earlier by Jonathan Riley Shannon, the original owner of Whispering Winds when it was only a floundering farm with cotton being the main generator of funds, are the little colored children that are to young to work in the fields. Their laughter fills the air and at times one can hear the oooohhhhhs and aaaaahhhhhs bursting forth from their eager mouths. Amongst these children, is Allison Rose Shannon, 17 years old and the current mistress of Whispering Winds. Although not proper to wear an off the shoulder gown this early in the afternoon, because of the intense heat and the fact that Allison has never been one to adhere to protocol, she sits on a small stool wearing a lilac colored off the shoulder dress. Slightly visible is the swell of her bosom. A white sash around her waist accentuates her delicate figure. She sits under the tree telling the children Bible stories about how a frail David slew the mighty giant. She is quite dramatic as she does so and the children are entranced by her delivery.

In the middle of her story, she can faintly hear one of the servants running across the yard. "Miss Allison, Miss Allison, their coming back ma'am, them Yankees, they is coming up the road…they be here in a minute ma'am". As he comes closer, his words become more audible and understandable. It was only two days ago that Yankees had struck panic in her. Today, she will stand defiant and not be taken by surprise as she had been. She hurriedly tells the children to go to their quarters and not to come out until they are told that they can. Picking up the pistol that she now carries with her at all times; Allison gathered the hem of her dress and started running across the yard to the main house. As she ran to the house, her bonnet fell off allowing her long golden blonde hair to blow behind her as she ran. Just has she was approaching the side of the house, she could hear the hoofs of horses and looking to her right she can see what appears to be an entire regiment. Once again there were Yankees on Whispering Winds. She ascended the front steps and once on the porch she turned around. His head was turned and he had not yet seen her standing on the porch however, being the observant and keen soldier that he is, her form did not escape his attention when he could see her in the distance as she ran making her way to the main house. She appeared as just a form but even from afar seemed to captivate him.

Sitting tall on his horse, his uniform dusty from battle and travel, was the most handsome, distinguished man she had ever seen. Regardless how worn and weary he appeared, there was an aura about him. An aura of gallantry honors and pride surrounded this man. His head was turned and he had not yet seen her standing on the porch perchance he had seen her as she ran across the yard. He ordered the troops to halt and he and his aide proceeded around the circular drive to the bottom of the steps. It is then that he sees this creature of beauty standing before him. There is nothing frail about her, his eyes can not help to take in her beauty. The wind blows her long waist length blonde hair away from her face. She takes her hand and brushes the strands away from her face. He notices all of her features, the in determination her eyes, softened with innocence. Her high cheekbone, lips red and full, how perfectly formed her face was. His aide leans over to him and whispers a few words. This brings him back to the cause that they were here for.

"Madam, please allow me to introduce myself. I am Capt. Robert Clearborne. With your permission", as he starts to dismount. Allison looks at him intently, her shoulders straight, her chin held high.

"Sir, it would be wise of you to stay just as you are until you tell me what your reasoning is for being here." She notices him grin slightly at her, but it is not a mischievous grin…not like the evil smirks that she had seen a couple of nights before.

"Ma'am, my men have been in a fierce battle for the past two days. They are in great need of drink and rest, as are our horses. Could you find some kindness in your heart to allow my men and their horses some water and a place to rest? That's all I ask madam."

Allison looks out over the men, many who are wounded. She sees the desperation on their faces, the cracked lips from lack of fluids. Turning her attention back to the Captain, she softly told him, "Sir, I too have family and friends that are engaging in battles and I would hope that if they were in enemy territory that someone would be kind enough to give them drink. Therefore I will grant my permission for your men and horses to be given food and drink and a place to rest." The Captain gratefully tips his hat at her and leans forward on his horse, taking in the way that this delicate southern woman/child gives the servants their orders as if she herself is an officer in combat. He has also noticed the pistol that she held in her hands. The hammer cocked but he notices that she no longer has a finger on the trigger. One of the little colored children comes out of the main house and grabs her by her leg. She leans down to reassure the child that all is well and that they are safe. As she leans downward the captain can't take his eyes of the swell of her bosom. It has been what seems a lifetime, since he has been in the company of such a beautiful woman. However, frustration sets in for he knows how forbidden and unlikely it is that he would ever know the pleasures of bedding her. He had acquired a reputation for himself in the North has being somewhat of a ladies man. Women would flock around him and he was never without the company of a lady (although they may not have always conducted themselves as one) on his arm. As he sits and watches this woman, he remembers the only love in his life. How he had vowed to always be there for her and how he wanted to marry her. However, her family moved and in the their travels she had been killed. Never has he loved a woman like that again. Never has he allowed himself to be in love with a woman like that again.