There are more than two dimensions in life. We tend to recognize only the obvious. The waking world where life is predictable, and the underworld, where anything can happen and usually does.
But, there's a dimension where life is not so cut and dried; everything isn't simply black and white. The people who live there shift between dimensions. They walk a line between two worlds like apparitions and we never are quite sure whether they are real or simply a figment of our limited imaginations. They don't belong anywhere specifically, yet they are all around us. Given a glance, they might even look like you. Or me.
*****
The warmer temperatures of spring always brought violent weather to the south. Storms scared me. They always had. It was the time of year when Roger prepared his bikes for riding during the summer. His favorite had just come out of the shop a couple days prior, and he was eager to try it out.
He stood back and proudly showed it off to me. "Well, when are you going to take me for a ride on it?" I asked. He seemed surprised by my request.
"Would you like to go now?" he asked. "We could go to the bar and have a few drinks. Maybe we could play some Pac-man?" he suggested. I nodded and hurried to throw on some jeans.
We spent a short time playing video games and drinking. The weather suddenly turned bad and I could hear the rain and wind outside. It made me more than a little nervous. Roger stood up and announced that he was going to check his bike. When he returned a moment later, he was pissed.
"Let's go!" he snarled at me.
"What's wrong?" I asked.
"The wind dumped my bike in the parking lot. The tank is ruined! Let's just go. I want to get it home and see how much damage it did," he huffed.
I was crushed. We were having one of those days when we were being civil to one another, and now, because of the bike, he wanted to cut that short. It was still raining when we exited the building. Our townhouse was only two miles away, but the rain was falling steadily and I had no jacket.
With the speed of the moving bike, the raindrops hit us with the fury of stinging bees all the way home and by the time we got there, I was soaked to the bone and furious at him. I swore never to ride with him again. It wasn't about getting wet, or the sting of the rain. It was the fact he displayed more attention and concern for the bike than he did me.
**********
I had long ago made up my mind that there wasn't much of a future for me in New Orleans. Jon coming into my life had sent me in a new direction. Still, deciding to leave wasn't completely outside the realm of possibility.
At twenty-one, my life was already complicated, but I had no idea just how complicated it could get. A few wrong turns and you wake up lost. Suddenly, you're just going around and around in circles. I was ready to take my hands off the wheel and let someone else do the driving for a while.
Two days before my birthday, I picked up the phone and dialed an old friend.
"Hi!" I said when a familiar voice answered.
"Well, hi, yourself!" I heard a low chuckle.
"Are you busy?" I asked.
"Never too busy for you, Kitten. How are you?" he asked. "You sound good."
"I am. How about you? Are you being good?" I asked cheerfully.
"Yeah. Well, you know how it is. Good is a relative term," he countered. "Did you get my card?" he asked.
"Not yet. When did you send it?" I asked.
"Last week," he replied. "I thought you'd have it by now."
"Well, Grandmother probably hasn't gotten around to forwarding it yet. I'll call her when we get off and see what's up," I said. My grandmother had been forwarding mail from Lee to me for the past six years. This time, I could sense something in his voice. There was a reason he wanted to know if I had gotten it. "What does it say?" I asked.
"The usual. Just that I'm thinking of you," he said sounding somewhat distant. "Is there a reason you called, Cindy?" he asked.
"Now that you mention it, there is," I replied. I could hear a stiff silence on the other end. "I thought maybe you might like to get away for a few days. I called to invite you down," I said. "Since it's my birthday, I thought maybe you'd come help me celebrate, Lee. We've never been together on my birthday," I pointed out the obvious.
There was a long silence. "You know I'd like nothing better than that," he said.
"But?" I asked already disappointed.
"But, I can't," he said flatly. "Not now."
I felt as if the wind had been knocked out of me. "Is there something I should know?" I asked.
"Like what?" he replied.
"Like, maybe you have other interests now?" I asked. "Have you met someone?"
"No, Cindy. It isn't anything like that. It's just that I have some business to attend. I'm going to be out of town for awhile," he replied.
"Oh. Where are you off to?" I asked finding it difficult to hide my disappointment.
"It's nothing. Just something I have to go do," he said avoiding my question.
"Well, if it isn't that important, can't you postpone it, and come down for the weekend at least?" I coaxed.
"I'm afraid not. Not this time," he replied. The last time and only time he had come was when I left my husband only a year before.
I sat silent for a few seconds. "Lee, it's my twenty-first birthday. I thought we might have some tentative plans," I suggested.
"Cindy, I wasn't sure I would even hear from you. This thing came up and I have to go. I don't have a choice and I can't put it off. There's no room for negotiation. I'm sorry," he said firmly. There was an awkward silence.
"When was the last time you heard from your husband?" he asked.
"You mean my
ex
-husband, don't you? And, to answer your question, nearly a year ago. About a month or so after I saw you last," I answered.