Part Three
Twenty-one
Monday arrived in a blaze of heat that prised open Nick’s eyes. No chance to savour the lie-in, Matt and Pete’s pained snoring quickly forced him downstairs to where Richey sat in the back bar, sipping fresh orange juice and pondering life.
This latest comeback self-financed and the single independently released, there would be no entourage at his beck and call to take care of promotion. Yet promote he must. Unable to rely entirely upon the unblinking support of the diehard fans, matters couldn’t just be left to chance.
Thankfully for Richey the competition wasn’t great, the heavyweights keeping their powder dry for the more productive winter months. A typically slow week for new releases, only a couple of holiday dance anthems and the already established singles from Miranda and Devilicious offered a serious alternative to the record buying public, and a top twenty position wasn’t out of the question. Though, as Ted Perry had rightly commented earlier in the weekend, the Speeding Hearts never had been a singles band. Only Winning Smile that clocked up 550,000 sales in the UK sixteen years earlier had achieved gold disc status.
Nick sat down opposite. ‘I was thinking, ‘Single-handed Attack’: sounds a bit of a violent message.’
‘You couldn’t be further from the truth. In fact you could say it sums up my sex life, since Larissa,’ replied Richey with a grin, doing the coffee bean shaking motion.
‘Ah right, that kind of single-hand…following in the footsteps of a rich history that began with…ooh, let me think…Chuck Berry.’
The pair sang the lyrics to ‘My Ding-a-Ling’, before Nick offered an alternative. ‘Then of course there’s that song by the Vapours…’
‘Ah yes, ‘Turning Japanese’,’ confirmed Richey, breaking into the hum before continuing the list. ‘How about ‘I Touch Myself’? Who the hell was that by?’
‘That would be the Divinyls,’ Nick clarified, proud of his pop knowledge. ‘And not forgetting the daddy of all masturbation anthems…’
Both grinned before breaking into song. ‘I’m a wanker, I’m a wanker, and it does me good like it bloody well should…’
‘Ivor Biggun.’
Richey issued a sideways look. ‘I’d like to think mine’s just a little more subtle.’
A minute passed before Nick continues the reminiscinces: ‘Do you remember our first NME interview?’
Richey pressed out his lip, his memory hazy. ‘Remind me.’
‘He asked what was the inspiration behind ‘The Outsider’? Was it our feeling of being on the wrong side of the tracks in Thatcher’s Britain? Did we feel like outsiders because of unemployment? Or did we see ourselves as rebels, cast away from the mainstream?’
‘That’s right,’ recalled Richey. ‘You said: nah, I work in a bookmaker’s. The outsider’s not fancied by anyone.’
‘Well that’s how I felt when I wrote it.’
‘Things worked out all right for you in the end though, didn’t they?’
‘You think so? I’m not so sure. Look at what I missed out on. If I’d stayed in the band I could have shagged my way around England…and the world.’
‘Like me you mean? No, you did the right thing getting out when you did. There’s no substitute for true, honest to goodness love. I’m not sure I ever really got over losing out on Jan.’
Nick blew. ‘Even after all the women you’ve had – Cass, Estella, Larissa…need I go on?’
Richey screwed up his nose. ‘Yeah, they’re all great looking girls, but the difference is that you love Jan and Jan loves you. I’ve never had that.’
‘Thanks, I appreciate that,’ Nick replied though he wasn’t entirely sure where he stood at that moment, given Jan’s continued failure to reply. ‘You have fallen in love before though.’
Richey scratched his chin. ‘I have, several times. It’s just they don’t seem to fall in love with me. Not properly…not totally. And the ones that do turn out crazy like Candice frigging Barkin.’
Two telephones, the one behind the bar and Richey’s mobile started ringing simultaneously, causing Richey to sigh. ‘Well, here goes. It’s game on, I guess.’
Nick shuffled uncomfortably. ‘Um, we were planning on heading off soon, Richey.’
Richey’s face dropped. ‘Stay a little while longer Nick…please.’
‘I’ve got to get home.’
‘Get home? Get home for what?’
Actually Richey had a point. ‘Okay I’ll ask the other three, but I think they’ll feel the same…I’m sorry…’
‘Damn, and I’ve given your mobile number to Ryan and Spike too – as a back-up and in case mine gets busy…which I think is going to be case…Hello, Richey Osgood…’
Nick sighed.
* * *
Her progress had been slow since the break-out, those she’d imagined she could rely upon, the sweaty truckers and lonesome van drivers, surprisingly reluctant to pick her up. The keen-edged blade in her pocket, crafted in the tool shop, had thus far proven unnecessary, but offered reassurance nonetheless should one of the misfits overstep the mark. The closest to having his chest punctured had been the sleazy delivery driver who, not content with fucking her in every hole, had wanted to kiss her afterwards. That guy didn’t realise how lucky he’d been. It was only a wish to avoid a telltale trail of carnage that had spared the loser. Besides which she had a more pressing appointment in Penn when the knife would serve the purpose for which it was made: ending Richey Osgood’s life.