She Reminds Me

This part wasn't edited/beta read by anyone . I apologize for any mistakes in grammar.

****

I wake and she's still sleeping. She's curled around her pillow, arms folded under her head. Her breathing is soft and rhythmic. Her beauty takes my breath away. Her resemblance to Gerry is still a shock but I feel as though I know this girl in a different way. It will be hard to let her go.

Initially, when I hired her for the month, it was to help ease the pain of being in my hometown where the old memories were suppressed and left to stay when I went on tour.

I realize now that the resemblance is only skin deep. Gerry was weak at times. She always needed persuading and encouragement. Evelyn is strong and independent. She doesn't need permission and doesn't ask for it. I didn't think I would like that, but I'm beginning to.

I hate to wake her, so I decide to write a note instead and leave it on my pillow. As I'm writing the note I feel her move. I look over and she is shifting to lie on her back. Her face takes on a worried look and her eyes move rapidly beneath her lids. I can tell she's dreaming. And from the way her mouth frowns it must not be a good one.

The sheets fall off her legs and I see the scar. It's barely visible, just a slight discoloration. I have to touch it. I trace it with the tip of my finger. I wonder how she acquired it. She mumbles something so low I can't hear. I lean down to listen.

"Don't..."

I want to wake her and tell her she's safe but then she smiles and sighs with relief. Her arms lay relaxed at her sides and she settles back to a peaceful sleep.

I feel the strongest need to protect her but I know that's foolish. I need to talk to someone about my feelings and the only person I can think of resides at the cemetery.

****

I walk up to Gerry's grave and notice that someone's been here to visit her today. I crouch down and set my own blue hydrangeas next to the others. I can't talk for a moment but then I smile and speak as though we've never been apart. "I sang your song last night. I haven't been able to do that since..."

"She died."

I turn around towards the angry voice and see Liam standing near a tree in the shade. "Liam. I didn't see you there."

Liam steps forward and the sun lights his face showing a few bruises and a cut lip. "Sorry I missed the concert. I would have loved to have seen you perform our song." He places a hand on the tombstone reading, "Loving Wife; Devoted Friend."

"What happened to your face?"

He grins a little and touches his cheek, wincing slightly. "This is nothing. I just trusted the wrong people."

I glance at my feet. Liam was always cryptic and never one to divulge anything unless he wanted to. "David called and told me you were leaving last night."

Liam nods. "Yes, but my trip was... delayed."

"Why are you here?"

"Don't I have a right to visit my wife's grave?" His tone is accusatory.

I nod, my throat tightens and I fight the urge to say ex-wife. Although the divorce wasn't final, they were separated before she died. I swallow down my bitterness towards Liam. I know he loved her. Almost as much as I did. "Of course. I'll leave."

Liam raises his arms in a flagrant fashion. "No! Stay! But don't act like I'm an idiot. I knew what was going on between you and Gerry and I also know what's going on with you and Evelyn. But just like with Gerry... I had her first."

He had to know about Gerry. But Evelyn? "What are you talking about?"

He just smiles as I watch him drop a padded manila envelope on Gerry's grave and then he leaves.

I reach down in a daze and open it, taking out an untitled DVD. I twirl it around in my hands wondering what it could be. I trace the engraving of Gerry's name on the marble headstone. "Gerry, I miss you so much. Everyday I think what if you had stayed with me that night instead of getting in your car and leaving me. I know I can't dwell on the past, and... I know you want me to move on. I've met someone. She looks a lot like you but she's not you... She's..."

As I say the words out loud, I realize how pathetic I sound. "At first I was using her to get over you, but I've become attached to her. I don't know if she feels the same, but I needed to tell you." I kiss my fingertips and press them against the tombstone. "Goodbye, love."

I get in my car and drive to the hotel. The DVD weighs heavily in my mind, sitting next to me on the passenger seat. Nothing Liam ever gave me was with good intentions.

When I get inside my suite, I sit down on the couch and put the DVD into my laptop. It takes a moment to read but when it plays the sound is way too loud. I adjust the volume and look up to see Evelyn and Liam making love on the screen. At first I want to yell with rage, but all I can do is feel icy coldness creeping in just like when Gerry died. I knew what Evelyn was when I hired her. I should have known. But it still feels like a stab in the back.

As the two of them are rutting like animals, I see Liam smiling cruelly, he glances over at the screen. It's as if he's looking right at me. When he comes he says Gerry's name.

"What are you watching?"

I close my laptop and look up to see her wearing my white shirt I wore at the concert last night. When I look her in the eyes, I see her smiling. She doesn't deserve to have Gerry's smile. I want to slap it off of her face. I take a deep breath and close my eyes before saying, "Evelyn, I would like you to leave."

After a few moments of silence, I look up. Her smile fades but she doesn't seem surprised. She uncrosses her legs and folds her arms around her waist. "May I ask why?"

I knew she would ask, but I still hate having to explain how she ruined everything. "I don't like being lied to. I think I told you that our first night together."

Her eyebrows furrow. "I don't know what you're talking about."

I sigh. Now I'm beginning to reconsider slapping her. "You never told me Liam was your client." The look of shock on her face is almost enjoyable.

"He told you."

"Yes and he has a DVD collection." I slide the DVD out of the computer and throw it at her feet.

Her face is almost as white as my shirt as she looks down at it. She swallows. "Did you see everything?"

I narrow my eyes. I don't understand why she is asking me that. "I watched enough to hear him call you, Gerry. Were you laughing at me this whole time?"

She looks at me with shock. "No! If I had known Liam was...

I shake my head. I don't need to hear more lies. "Pack your stuff up and leave now!"

She nods. "Ok. I'll go."

I was expecting more of a fight, but she seems detached. I feel like I'm not getting through to her. I have to add, "I wish I had let you go that first night."

That seems to break her. Her eyes look resigned. She smiles sadly. "Me too."

*****

As I'm packing my things I hear him leave. I only have the red robe to pack; the rest is what I was wearing that first night; a pale green dress and my underwear, and now I'm wearing them home.

I won't cry. Even though his words hurt me more than I thought they would. I knew this was coming; albeit sooner than I expected.

I call Freddy and ask him to send a driver. He's surprised but doesn't ask any questions. I'm sure he'll have plenty when I get there.

I walk out into the living room and spot the DVD on the floor. I decide to take it with me, to see just how much he saw.

I take the elevator down and look at my reflection. My face is pale and my eyes are bloodshot. I look like hell; but I know I can find some comfort in knowing that this is my last day working.

*****

When I arrive in New York three and a half weeks later I'm not in the best state of mind. Jack told me I should have waited until my feelings were mended, and I almost wish I had. But I was leaving my cares behind and leaving it up to the city to work its magic on my heart.

I see all the typical sites in a week's time; Empire State Building, Statue of Liberty, and Time Square. I enjoy it but I'm alone, and even though I should be happy that I'm finally 'free,' I want someone to share it with.

I call Jack after a Broadway musical, needing someone to talk with about it, but all I get is his voicemail. This usually means he's working. I decide not to leave a message and try not to feel jealous.

I don't regret retiring. Even though I loved my job; it is a relief not to sleep with a stranger every night; never knowing what the demands will be.

At the insistence of a couple of locals, I try a club located below a hotel called, "Renaissance." The place is packed and I amuse myself dancing in a sea of people for an hour before taking a break and getting a drink at the bar. I see a cute guy checking me out at the end of the bar. I'd turned down half a dozen guys already tonight; and I was prepared to do the same with him, but something made me want to reconsider. I decide to avoid eye contact and watch the people on the dance floor. Out of the corner of my eye I see him walk over to me. Just as I am finishing my drink and turn to order another, he hands me a vodka tonic and whispers in my ear, "My name's Paul. What's yours?"

I look up into his hazel eyes. They are smoldering and I can feel myself getting lost in them. His hair is medium in length and a wavy black. He's wearing an ivory, long-sleeved t-shirt which is a nice contrast against his light brown skin. "Evelyn. How did you know what I was drinking?"

He smiles and his whole face lights up. "I'm very observant. I've never seen you here before, Evelyn. Where are you from?"

"L.A. I'm here on vacation. Are you a local?"

"Half the time. How long are you staying?" He sits next to me and I smell the clean scent of soap and aftershave.

I sip my drink nervously. It's been a long time since I've solicited clients myself and even longer since I've picked guys up for fun. "A few more days. Where do you spend the other half of your time?"

"Vancouver. I prefer it here though."

I smile and take another sip of my drink. I stare at it for a second trying to collect my thoughts.

"You seem sad, Evelyn. Do you want to talk?"

I'm shocked by his intuitiveness and look up at him with a reassuring smile. "Just a bad breakup. I don't want to talk about it. Are you single?"

He smiles. "I don't usually hit on beautiful women when I'm seeing someone."

I laugh and finish my drink. "Just the ugly ones then?"

He laughs. "You caught me. Can I get you another one?"

I lick my lips and decide to take him up on the offer. "Sure."

He turns to order another and I watch the dance floor and start swaying a little to the music.

"Would you like to dance?"

I smile. "Sure.

We walk out onto the floor and I wrap my arms around his neck. He loosely holds onto my hips. A slow song is playing and we sway to the music, staring at each other's eyes. I play with the ends of his soft hair.

After a few minutes, Paul leans in and whispers into my ear, "You're the most beautiful woman here tonight."

Instead of laughing off the compliment for the tacky line that it is, I decide to accept it and kiss him softly on the lips. He reciprocates by combing his fingers through my hair and deepens the kiss leaving me feeling a little lightheaded.

"You're a good kisser," I breathe against his cheek.

He rests his forehead against mine. "So I've been told."

The song ends and I lead him by the hand back to the bar to finish our drinks. I drink my glass half empty and watch him sip his beer. I feel myself beginning to relax. The drink is even better than the last. I sip the last half slowly, savoring it.

"Would it be too presumptuous of me to ask if you would like to come upstairs?"

I swallow down the rest of my drink and bite the bullet. This is a nice guy but I have my reservations. I smile at him shyly. "I wouldn't want you to think I was promiscuous."

He grins and his eyes twinkle with a devilish gleam. "You act as if that were a bad thing." He sets his beer down and grasps my chin gently. His eyes are serious. "I wouldn't tell a soul if you were for the honor of having you in my bed."

I raise my eyebrows and lick my lips. "You don't kiss and tell?"

"Never." He leans down and brushes his lips against mine. When he pulls back his eyes are so intense they pull me in. I feel dizzy.

He whispers in my ear, "We don't have to do anything. Let's just see what happens."

I close my eyes and grab his arms, whispering into his ear "Okay."

He kisses me and takes my hand leading me upstairs. He opens the first door and I walk inside behind him. I'm surprised at how nice it is. It must have cost a pretty penny. We sit down at a small table with a nice view of the bed. I bite my lip and look at him. He's studying my face, he seems calm. It's so quiet away from the music. There's a faint rhythm pounding outside. I tap my fingers nervously on the table in time. I don't know what to say. I open my mouth to try to speak but he does first.

His voice is rich and deep with a slight New York accent. "Again, we don't have to do anything."

I know if I don't I'll regret it. I grab his hand. "Do you have condoms?"

He exhales out a quiet laugh and that gleam is back in his eyes. He squeezes my hand. "Of course."

I stand up. "I'm going to freshen up."

He licks his lips and nods. "Ok."

I walk to the bathroom and close the door, leaning against it. I take a deep breath and look in the mirror. I look scared shitless. Definitely not like a woman who does this for a living. I laugh quietly at myself and turn the faucet on. I splash some cold water on my face and reach for the towel. My cheeks are slightly flushed and my lips are blood red. I've never used makeup. It gets in the way. I try to summon up some courage as I smooth down my gray dress. I know I'm attractive, but I still doubt my abilities in the sack even after all this time.

As I turn I feel the floor move under me. I grip the edge of the sink as quickly as I can to steady myself but I still feel like I'm falling. My heart is racing and I'm beginning to sweat. I grip the doorknob and open it to call for help but all I can do is let out a strangled sob as I fall to the ground. My body won't respond to my commands to get up. I hear Paul walk over towards me. I look up but it isn't Paul. I try to scream but a tiny whimper escapes instead.

"Hello, Evie. I knew I'd find you." Liam squats down next to me and grabs my chin. "You're probably wondering what's going on. You see, my friend Paul owed me one so he seduced you, drugged you and handed you over to me. You're going to fall asleep soon so I'll make this quick." He leans down close to my face and whispers against my cheek, "I'm going to fuck you and there isn't a damn thing you can do about it."

His wicked smile hovering over me is all I can see before I black out.

*****

I'm staring at the ivory keys of my piano at my apartment in L.A. in a daze. I've been working on the same song for four and a half weeks stuck on the same line in the same verse since...

I was just starting to write again the first night we were together. While watching her sleep I wrote two love songs. I wasn't able to write since Gerry died and whether or not I'm willing to admit it, I miss Evelyn. Yes, she slept with Liam; but it's not like she can choose who she sleeps with. She's a prostitute, nothing more. I should never have felt feelings for her. If I can have her back, maybe I can finish this album and then she will be out of my life forever.

I pick up the phone and call Fred. He picks up on the third ring. His voice is a little annoyed but he doesn't hang up on me. "What do you want?"

I swallow hard and try to think of the best way to approach the matter. "Hey, Fred, I was wondering if I could speak with Evelyn. I want her back, if she agrees. I was wrong and I'm sorry for the trouble I caused. I'll pay you the original price and more..." I stop when Fred laughs.

"You stupid little rock star. You think if you just throw money at a problem it will go away. Well, Evelyn doesn't work here anymore. She's retired. And if you think I will give you her number you're out of luck."

I stare at the phone in shock. I can't believe she's retired. Fred has to be lying. I lick my lips nervously and place the phone back against my ear. "I don't expect you to give me her number, but I was hoping you would give her mine. If I don't here from her I'll just assume she isn't interested."

I hear Fred sigh. "I wouldn't wait by the phone if I were you."

After hanging up I feel a little hopeful. At least he didn't say he wouldn't give her my number.

I decide to call David. The L.A. concerts are over and I need to get back to New York for a few days. He picks up on the third ring. His breath is shallow and his voice is deep. "Yes?"

I smile. "Am I interrupting something, David?

David laughs. "Almost. So, make it quick."

"I wanted to know if you would like to join me on the plane to New York."

David exhales into the phone and speaks somewhat apologetically, "I don't think I can. But we could have a drink at the airport before you leave?"

I frown. I really hoped he would join me. "Nah, I'm going to leave right away. You'll visit, right?"

David laughs. "Of course. I have an office there you know."

"Sure. Well, I'll see you when I see you."

"Have a safe flight."

I hang up and pack my bags. I should make it to New York City by midnight. Just in time to hit my favorite club.

****

When I arrive I tell my driver to go straight to the club. My luggage is in the trunk but I don't care. I can unpack later.

The club is packed. In my jeans and T-shirt, I blend in easily. As I walk over to the bar, I look up at the stairs to see who is getting lucky tonight.

I have to do a double take, but I know it's her. I see Evelyn just as she's walking up the stairs with an attractive guy. I'm jealous and angry. Fred lied to me. She is still working. I want to follow them and punch the guy's lights out, but I know it won't change anything. Evelyn's not Gerry; she's just a whore.

Before I walk out of the club, I spot Liam sitting at a table in the back. He's watching me. He winks and raises his glass in a mock salute with a smirk. I'm not exactly sure what he is saluting, but I have an idea. I don't want to talk to him about Evelyn or Gerry, so I walk through the door down the back alley just as it starts to rain. I look up at the pouring heavens and smile. This is the first time the weather matches my mood perfectly. The raindrops mingle with my angry tears as I walk to my apartment.

****

Fred is just getting to bed when he hears the phone ring. It's six in the morning and he is pissed. "Hello?"

"Is this Fred Pearce?"

Fred sighs heavily. "Yes, who is this?"

"I'm sorry to wake you so early in the morning. Officer Jeremy Tate, I'm with the New York City Police Department. Evelyn Myers is in critical condition at Saint Mary's Hospital. Your number was listed in her address book as her family."

Fred closes his eyes and clenches his fist. Several horrible images plague his mind. Including one real memory he will never forget. "How did she get hurt? Will she be okay?"

The officer clears his throat. "I'm not exactly sure on all the details but I don't think she's doing so well. Can you fly out here so we can talk about it?"

"Of course. Can I have a number to reach you at when I get there?"

"Absolutely."

Fred reaches for a pad of paper and pen and writes the number down. "Thank you, Officer."

Fred packs his bags and calls his airport then he calls Jack.

Jack picks up on the first ring, wide awake. "Hello?"

Fred shakes his head. "Jack, you're awake at this god awful hour?"

Jack laughs. "Of course. I'm working, remember? What's up?"

Fred sighs. "It's Eve. She's been hurt, and they won't tell me how until I get there. I'm flying out to New York now. I thought you might want to join me."