This part wasn't edited/beta read by anyone . I apologize for any mistakes in grammar.
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I wake and she's still sleeping. She's curled around her pillow, arms folded under her head. Her breathing is soft and rhythmic. Her beauty takes my breath away. Her resemblance to Gerry is still a shock but I feel as though I know this girl in a different way. It will be hard to let her go.
Initially, when I hired her for the month, it was to help ease the pain of being in my hometown where the old memories were suppressed and left to stay when I went on tour.
I realize now that the resemblance is only skin deep. Gerry was weak at times. She always needed persuading and encouragement. Evelyn is strong and independent. She doesn't need permission and doesn't ask for it. I didn't think I would like that, but I'm beginning to.
I hate to wake her, so I decide to write a note instead and leave it on my pillow. As I'm writing the note I feel her move. I look over and she is shifting to lie on her back. Her face takes on a worried look and her eyes move rapidly beneath her lids. I can tell she's dreaming. And from the way her mouth frowns it must not be a good one.
The sheets fall off her legs and I see the scar. It's barely visible, just a slight discoloration. I have to touch it. I trace it with the tip of my finger. I wonder how she acquired it. She mumbles something so low I can't hear. I lean down to listen.
"Don't..."
I want to wake her and tell her she's safe but then she smiles and sighs with relief. Her arms lay relaxed at her sides and she settles back to a peaceful sleep.
I feel the strongest need to protect her but I know that's foolish. I need to talk to someone about my feelings and the only person I can think of resides at the cemetery.
****
I walk up to Gerry's grave and notice that someone's been here to visit her today. I crouch down and set my own blue hydrangeas next to the others. I can't talk for a moment but then I smile and speak as though we've never been apart. "I sang your song last night. I haven't been able to do that since..."
"She died."
I turn around towards the angry voice and see Liam standing near a tree in the shade. "Liam. I didn't see you there."
Liam steps forward and the sun lights his face showing a few bruises and a cut lip. "Sorry I missed the concert. I would have loved to have seen you perform our song." He places a hand on the tombstone reading, "Loving Wife; Devoted Friend."
"What happened to your face?"
He grins a little and touches his cheek, wincing slightly. "This is nothing. I just trusted the wrong people."
I glance at my feet. Liam was always cryptic and never one to divulge anything unless he wanted to. "David called and told me you were leaving last night."
Liam nods. "Yes, but my trip was... delayed."
"Why are you here?"
"Don't I have a right to visit my wife's grave?" His tone is accusatory.
I nod, my throat tightens and I fight the urge to say ex-wife. Although the divorce wasn't final, they were separated before she died. I swallow down my bitterness towards Liam. I know he loved her. Almost as much as I did. "Of course. I'll leave."
Liam raises his arms in a flagrant fashion. "No! Stay! But don't act like I'm an idiot. I knew what was going on between you and Gerry and I also know what's going on with you and Evelyn. But just like with Gerry... I had her first."
He had to know about Gerry. But Evelyn? "What are you talking about?"
He just smiles as I watch him drop a padded manila envelope on Gerry's grave and then he leaves.
I reach down in a daze and open it, taking out an untitled DVD. I twirl it around in my hands wondering what it could be. I trace the engraving of Gerry's name on the marble headstone. "Gerry, I miss you so much. Everyday I think what if you had stayed with me that night instead of getting in your car and leaving me. I know I can't dwell on the past, and... I know you want me to move on. I've met someone. She looks a lot like you but she's not you... She's..."
As I say the words out loud, I realize how pathetic I sound. "At first I was using her to get over you, but I've become attached to her. I don't know if she feels the same, but I needed to tell you." I kiss my fingertips and press them against the tombstone. "Goodbye, love."
I get in my car and drive to the hotel. The DVD weighs heavily in my mind, sitting next to me on the passenger seat. Nothing Liam ever gave me was with good intentions.
When I get inside my suite, I sit down on the couch and put the DVD into my laptop. It takes a moment to read but when it plays the sound is way too loud. I adjust the volume and look up to see Evelyn and Liam making love on the screen. At first I want to yell with rage, but all I can do is feel icy coldness creeping in just like when Gerry died. I knew what Evelyn was when I hired her. I should have known. But it still feels like a stab in the back.
As the two of them are rutting like animals, I see Liam smiling cruelly, he glances over at the screen. It's as if he's looking right at me. When he comes he says Gerry's name.
"What are you watching?"
I close my laptop and look up to see her wearing my white shirt I wore at the concert last night. When I look her in the eyes, I see her smiling. She doesn't deserve to have Gerry's smile. I want to slap it off of her face. I take a deep breath and close my eyes before saying, "Evelyn, I would like you to leave."
After a few moments of silence, I look up. Her smile fades but she doesn't seem surprised. She uncrosses her legs and folds her arms around her waist. "May I ask why?"
I knew she would ask, but I still hate having to explain how she ruined everything. "I don't like being lied to. I think I told you that our first night together."
Her eyebrows furrow. "I don't know what you're talking about."
I sigh. Now I'm beginning to reconsider slapping her. "You never told me Liam was your client." The look of shock on her face is almost enjoyable.
"He told you."
"Yes and he has a DVD collection." I slide the DVD out of the computer and throw it at her feet.
Her face is almost as white as my shirt as she looks down at it. She swallows. "Did you see everything?"
I narrow my eyes. I don't understand why she is asking me that. "I watched enough to hear him call you, Gerry. Were you laughing at me this whole time?"
She looks at me with shock. "No! If I had known Liam was...
I shake my head. I don't need to hear more lies. "Pack your stuff up and leave now!"
She nods. "Ok. I'll go."
I was expecting more of a fight, but she seems detached. I feel like I'm not getting through to her. I have to add, "I wish I had let you go that first night."
That seems to break her. Her eyes look resigned. She smiles sadly. "Me too."