Shane and Carmen: the Novelization

Chapter 9 Water Sports

Carmen woke when she heard somebody moving around in the house, probably Shane or Mark in the kitchen, she thought. It was a week later, a week after she'd first made love to Jenny, and the third night that week she'd slept over in Jenny's bed. She opened her eyes and saw Jenny's face a few inches from her own. They were both lying on their sides facing each other, both naked, both only half covered by the bed's top sheet. She studied Jenny's face for a moment, until Jenny opened her eyes.

"Hey," Jenny said.

"Hey," Carmen said. "Were you asleep?"

"No. Just resting. What were you doing?"

"Looking at you."

"Oh? Why?"

"'Cause you're cute, sleeping."

Jenny blushed, leaned forward, gave Carmen a quick peck on the lips.

"It's Sunday morning," Jenny said.

"I know."

"We don't have to go anywhere."

"Nope."

"We can sleep late."

"Yep."

"We can have morning sex."

"Yep."

"Noon sex, lunchtime sex."

"Yep."

"Afternoon sex."

"Uh-huh. Afternoon delight. Skyrockets in flight."

"Evening sex."

"60 Minutes sex with Morley Safer and Andy Rooney."

"Speaking of old people, I forgot to ask you how your gig went last night."

"That's because the minute I got here you assaulted me sexually, and forced me to perform lewd and lascivious acts of a perverted, Sapphic nature."

"I was horny," Jenny said.

"No kidding? But thank you for asking about my gig. It went very well."

"You like doing those Oldies Night gigs, don't you."

"I do," Carmen said. "I like old people and senior citizens. And I like the music, very romantic. And the money's good, and the gigs are always over by ten o'clock, 'cause none of them can stay awake after that and I get to come home much earlier than usual, and spend the rest of the night tongue-fucking hot, sexy, horny Jewish girls from the Midwest. Also, I get to wear my hot booty shorts and turn on all the men, who flirt with me shamelessly, which I enjoy because they know and I know that absolutely nothing is gonna happen for real, unlike regular gigs where every guy who hits on me actually entertains the hope in his tiny little pea brain that perhaps he might succeed and get into my shorts and I'll suck his cock under the turntable console. Which of course ain't gonna happen. So, yeah, I kinda like playing with the old guys. They have fun and I have fun, nobody's feelings are hurt, and everybody goes home happy."

"Do any of the women ever hit on you?"

"No, not really. Once in a while I get a stare or an appraising look, and we make eye contact, and she knows that I know what she's thinking."

"So what do you do?"

"I just give her a nod or an enigmatic smile, like, yeah, once upon a time, maybe we'd have done it. You know, validating her gaydar. But usually if any woman hits on me, it's going to be one of the staff people, the nurses and so on. They're more my age. Some younger, even."

"And did you ever ...?"

Carmen tapped Jenny lightly on the nose. "Now, you don't want me to kiss and tell, do you?"

"God, yes!" Jenny said, and Carmen laughed.

"Well, what happens at Happy Valley Nursing Home stays at Happy Valley Nursing Home," Carmen said.

Jenny stuck out her lower lip for a moment, pretending to sulk, then asked, "What did you tell your mom about where you were spending the night last night?"

"I told her the truth, I always do," Carmen said. "I'm spending the night at a friend's house. Sometimes I say at a girlfriend's house. And she believes me, because I'm actually telling the God's honest truth. And that's as far as the conversation ever goes. She could grill me for twenty minutes, and every answer I'd give would be true. Who's the friend? Oh, Jenny, Jenny Schecter. She's this really cool writer I met, she's working on becoming a novelist. She's the friend of a friend. Remember I told you about my friend Shane, the hairdresser, like cousin Evi? Well, Jenny is Shane's housemate. Um. she's from Illinois or someplace like that. Brunette, short, five-foot nothing, smaller than me, even. Cute. Funny. A little moody, a little dark and mysterious. See? I could talk for an hour about you, and my mother would never once ask the key question, and I would never volunteer it."

"Doesn't she ever ask you about guys?"

"Oh, sure, she has, but not so much the last few years. First, I'm the baby of the family, and in her eyes there is no man who is good enough for me anyway. Second, the legend has grown up that I'm just really picky and discriminating, and looking for Mr. Right, and he just hasn't come along yet. And once in a while we'll be watching a movie or something, and I'll say something like, 'Wow, that Josh Hartnett is reallllly hot!' Which is actually what I really think and once I really did say it. Because he is. But it doesn't mean I want to sleep with him, I just think he's a hunk. But I can think somebody is hot, whether it's a man or a woman, and it doesn't mean I wanna fuck 'em. So, the result is, my mom thinks I have this crush on Josh Hartnett. You ever see him in that movie, the one about the girl who got murdered back right after World War Two?"

"No, I missed that one," Jenny said. "Who else was in it?"

"Aaron Eckhart, and Scarlett Johansson was the love interest," Carmen said.

"God, I'd

so

do Scarlett Johansson," Jenny said.

"Oh, me, too," Carmen said. "I forget who played the dead girl, but she was cute. She had a real quick, kinky lesbian sex scene, but it was only on screen for like, 10 seconds or something."

"So your mom thinks you're straight?"

"Yeah, I think so. She's never said anything to make me think she suspects otherwise. I think she's in denial about it -- she doesn't want to know. Latinas like my mom really don't like lesbians, much more so than the gringo community. Homophobia is strong in both the religion and the culture, it's a double whammy. Being a Latina

lesbiana

is a real no-no for people like my mom."

"Nobody else in your family knows?"

"My sisters Patricia and Anna do. They've known it for years. Almost from the beginning, really, when I was having this really torrid affair with my best friend, who lived across the street."

"She was your first?"

"Yeah, she was. Tell me about your first. I heard it was a woman named Marina, who used to own

The Planet

until a few months ago, until she sold it to Kit."

"That's right, you weren't around when all that stuff went down," Jenny said. "My gawd, what a drama! It was awful. Yeah, Marina seduced me, all right, but she did it just to be cruel, to play with me, like a cat toying with a mouse. And that's kind of what I was, this odd little country mouse who came to Hollywood, and one day she met me at Bette's house and then saw me at

The Planet

and decided I would be her next little plaything for a while. You never met her, so let me describe her. She was this Italian countess or princess or duchess or something, but didn't look Italian. She had these terrific high cheekbones and this sultry look, with sleepy bedroom eyes that could look right into you. I mean, she was really something else."

"But you had a boyfriend, right? And I thought you were married?"

"I was, but it's a long story. No, I wasn't married to Tim when he and I moved out here; that came later. And we came here because he got a job at California University; they hired him to be coach of the swimming team. I just came along for the ride."

"And you were straight? You had sex with him and all?"

"Oh, yeah, we fucked, we sucked, we did all the stuff all the other straight people did. I thought about girls, once in a while, you know, just in general, wondering about what it must be like, but nothing really ... urgent, you know? Not until the day Marina looked at me, and shit, next thing I know I'm getting all wet and trembling, and I don't even know why or how or what. And one day at

The Planet

I go into the bathroom and she follows me in and next thing I know she's kissing me, and it's all I can think about, and inside a week I'm meeting her in the bathroom and she's finger-fucking me while Tim's sitting at a table eating a veggie burger. So then one day Tim's got a swim meet out-of-town, and he leaves the house to go catch the team bus, and two minutes later the doorbell rings and it's Marina, she'd been sitting outside waiting for him to leave, and three minutes after that I'm sitting on the edge of the couch out in my studio in the garage, in my bra and half slip, and she's kneeling on the floor between my legs giving me the most incredible head I've ever had in my life, until you, that is, and I'm wetter than I've ever been, and she's fucking me with two fingers while she's sucking my clit, and I'm about four seconds away from a five-star orgasm, when the door opens and there's Tim standing there."

"Oh, shit, no!" Carmen said.

"Yes. He forgot his fucking whistle, and came back to the house to get it. So I look up and see him standing there with his mouth open, and then Marina straightens up and turns her head to look at him, and of course, she's got my pussy juice all over her face, and she just stares at him, and he looks at her. She just turns around again and slowly walks out the door."

"Wow! So then what happened?"

"Oh, shit, what didn't happen. Let's see, Marina leaves, Tim and I talk and argue, I'm apologetic and feeling guilty as hell, even though I can hardly walk. We got to

The Planet

and I tell Marina it's over, that I don't love her and it will never happen again. And to prove I love Tim I run away with him to Lake Tahoe and we get married that very night. Can you believe it? Less than twelve hours after Marina Ferrar gives me the best head I've ever had I'm standing in some tacky wedding chapel motel in Nevada being married to Tim by by a JP and his wife. And then after that it got weird."

They both laughed.

"Oh," Jenny said, "it was all so fucked up. I'm so fucked up. Marina was so fucked up. And poor Tim. He was the only one who wasn't fucked up, poor guy, and he didn't know what to do, and his whole life turned to shit right in front of him, and he didn't understand any of it, and there was nothing he could do about it."

"So what about Marina?"

"Well, first, what happened was some of the most intense sex imaginable. And then I start learning the truth about her. Which is she's got this serious girlfriend named Francesca, who is this big shot fashion designer who stays and works in Europe six or seven months a year, and then comes back to Los Angeles for a few months. And while she's away, Marina and Francesca have this understanding where they can freely fuck anybody they want to, as much as they want to. But when Francesca comes back home, they suddenly get all semi-monogamous, but it turns out they are really into dominance games, and Francesca is the butch and she makes Marina her bitch, and there's all this fem/dom stuff. It was kind of the way that Marina dominated me and controlled me and played with me, that's what Francesca did with her. And I began to see it was all pretty sick, and they were just playing these perverted head games with each other, and I was just this mousy little mouse these two cats toyed with."

"Boy, that's a horrible way to get your first introduction to lesbianism," Carmen said.

"Yeah, it was. But you know what? It got even weirder still. Turns out Marina was married. Yes, to a guy, some Italian count who was like, fifteen or twenty years older than her. And after I finally broke it off with Marina, she has this big mental breakdown thing with Francesca, and tries to commit suicide, and they shipped her off back to Italy to some psychiatric clinic somewhere. And that's how

The Planet

came to be for sale. Kit bought it from Marina's husband, the Count of Monte Cristo, or whoever he was, of all people."

"Jesus, that's the weirdest thing I ever heard," Carmen said. "Were you in love with her?"

"Shit, I don't know. Yes. No. Who the hell knows. I mean, yes, I would have crawled over broken glass for her, just to get my mouth on her, or to get her hands and mouth on me. God, the things she did to me. And taught me to do to her ... and Francesca, too. But love? I guess maybe I have no idea if anybody loved anybody."

"Didn't Tim love you?"

"Yes, he did. I have to give him that."

"Did you love him?"

Jenny sighed. "That's such a hard question. I guess it shouldn't be so hard, but it is. Yes, I think I loved him. I know I should have, there was no reason not to. We were together for four years. I don't know, maybe I loved him, but just not enough. It was like ... he loved me, and that was good enough, so I kind of ... just went with the flow. Does that make any sense?"

"No-ooo," Carmen said, but in a way that made them both laugh.

"I know, I'm so fucked up," Jenny said. "That's why I wish I was like you."

"Me? You're kidding? Why would you want to be like me?"

"Because you're so ... open, and free, and you know who you are, and you don't have any demons. You're sweet, and caring. You always tell the truth, and you don't play any games, you never mind-fuck anybody. I wish I could be like that."

"You have demons?"

"I do," Jenny said. "I have demons. You have no idea. My demons have demons of their own."

"Is that why you write?"

"I write because I have to. I don't have any choice. But yes, my demons show up in my work."

"Would you let me read something of yours some time?"

"Do you really want to?"

"Aren't I the open, honest type? Would I have asked if I didn't mean it?"

"Okay," Jenny laughed. "I'm convinced." She brought her hand up to Carmen's face, caressed her cheek.

"So what do you want to do today?" Carmen asked as she kissed Jenny's palm.

"I don't know, but I can tell you this: I'm not doing anything until I take a shower. I'm covered in dried pussy juice from last night. Pussy juice and saliva. I think you're the first person who's ever licked that much of me before. And you ... there was one time you came, you were like, I don't know how to describe it--"

"Squirting? Yeah, I'm a squirter, sometimes. I'm usually really wet anyway, but once in a while, in the middle of a really good cum, I just lose it, and I squirt a little bit. You've never heard of female ejaculation?"

"Yeah, sorta. I just didn't know if it was true or not. You're only the fourth women I've ever had sex with, so I don't have this real broad experience, like Shane does."

"I'm only your fourth? There was Marina--"

"Yes, she was first. Then Francesca, we did some

menage a trois

stuff, the three of us. Very kinky and not a little bit dark and sick. Then for a little while I was seeing a woman named Robin, but that kind of went bust. And then you. So you're my first squirter, although Marina was really wet, too."

"Well, you're going to get wet again, because we're going to go jump in the shower," Carmen said, sitting up briskly, and pulling Jenny by the hand to do the same.

"Okay, you can go first," Jenny said.

"No, we're both going," Carmen said. "Remember? Save water, shower with a friend." She pulled Jenny halfway out of bed.

"Aren't you going to put something on?" Jenny asked. "Have you forgotten you're naked?"

"No, not at all. But it's only a few feet down the hall. No windows. What's the worst that could happen? We run into Shane, who wouldn't care and who has seen more naked pussy than a retired gynecologist, or we run into Mark, and that'd be worthwhile giving him a thrill show."

Jenny laughed, but allowed herself to be pulled naked down the hall to the bathroom. Carmen released her and climbed into the tub, and began adjusting the water temperature at the spigot as Jenny climbed in and pulled the shower curtain all the way across. When Carmen liked the temperature, she pulled the diverter knob up, and spray began shooting out of the shower head wand. She sprayed Jenny's head to get her hair wet, and then sprayed her own, and then took some shampoo and began to wash Jenny's hair. Jenny returned the favor, and after a rinse stood still while Carmen playfully but efficiently washed Jenny's body, toying with her butt checks, pussy, and small, firm boobs. Then she wrapped her arms around Jenny's soapy, sudsy body and they had a long, languid kiss, Carmen slowly undulating her body against Jenny's to get as much soap on herself as she could. After they broke the kiss, Carmen handed Jenny the bar of soap and said, "Do me, now," and stood with her hands raised above her head as Jenny soaped her down front and back, having as much fun as when Carmen had soaped her up. When she was done they embraced and kissed again. At the end of the kiss Jenny started to squirm and said, "I've got to pee. The running water is making me need to pee."

"Oh, go ahead," Carmen said. "I pee in the shower all the time."

"You do? Gross!"

"No, it isn't gross, it's fun. A lot of people pee in the shower. There's even some people who pee together in the shower."

"Have you?"

"Sure! C'mon, try it. Stand over here, and pee toward the drain."

"I can't do that! Especially not with you watching! Ewwww."

Carmen laughed. "Try it, maybe you'll like it. It's fun."

Jenny did a jiggle dance. "Please, just let me rinse off so I can go pee! I really gotta go!"

Carmen handed Jenny the shower wand, and was rinsed off. Then she took the wand and rinsed off Jenny. "Well, now I have to pee, too," she said, but Jenny was already climbing through the shower curtain.

"Okay, I'm going to be done in a sec," Jenny said, hurrying to the toilet, lifting the lid and sitting down. Carmen was right behind her. She faced Jenny and straddled her legs, and sat down on the edge of the seat, facing her, their pussies almost touching. "What are you doing?" Jenny asked.

"I want you to spread your legs," Carmen said. Jenny's eyes went wide in surprise, but she did. She felt Carmen's fingers come down between them and separate the outer lips of her pussy. And a second later she felt Carmen begin to pee, her stream hitting Jenny's clitoris dead on. "Do you feel that? Go ahead, let it go," Carmen whispered.

Jenny couldn't hold it any longer. "Uh, God," she said, closing her eyes and releasing her bladder, letting her stream go. It hit Carmen's pussy and Carmen laughed, a happy, sexy chuckle. She felt Jenny's hot stream merge with her own, their pussies only an inch apart.

***

In the hallway, Mark was pacing up and down when Shane came out of her room. Mark was doing the tight-knee wiggle dance that indicated he had to go.

"These girls are taking fucking forever," he said as Shane walked by. She stopped.

"You okay?"

"I am dyyying," Mark said, biting his lip.

Shane knocked on the bathroom door. "Hey guys, come on, let Mark in. He has to go."

When there was no response, Shane knocked heavily on the door and said, "C'mon, guys, his back teeth are floating. Be nice."

Whatever inhibitions Jenny might have had were gone. She kissed Carmen, shuddered, shivered, felt the pleasure of releasing her urine. She was vaguely aware of Shane in the hallway, but couldn't focus on it. And there was no way she could stop in mid-pee. Her hands cupped Carmen's wonderful breasts.

Suddenly the bathroom door opened, and Shane was standing there, a look of surprise and shock on her face. She never expected to see them both sitting on the toilet, face-to-face, much less ... much less ... . It took her a moment to realize the sound she heard was the two women's pee hitting the water in the toilet bowl. Jenny's mouth was open in a kind of ecstatic horror, caught in the act. Carmen had turned halfway around, still peeing, and looked at Shane without embarrassment, not at what she was doing and not at getting caught.

Then just as suddenly as the door had opened, Shane lurched back into the hallway, pulling the door shut after her. She stood a moment, recovering. She turned to Mark, standing there jiggling.