This story is dedicated to every woman who bears the burden
of a dark secret from her past
Part I β History
Chapter 1
About two hours from home, I stretched in the leather seat. I could see that my wife was reading a book. In the back seat, my young daughter was watching her DVDβor maybe she was sleeping. Her head was down so I couldn't be sure. As I drove, I recognized the town names on the highway signs. Many years ago, during the summers while I attended college, I had worked in this area.
One old billboard caught my eye. It had been painted on wood and obviously needed touching up a long time ago. Most of the words were still visible, though. I hadn't thought about that place in years. I wondered if it was still there. Looking at the weathered sign, I made a decision. I pulled into the right hand lane and signaled to exit. My wife looked up from her book when she felt the van slowing down.
"What's the matter?" she asked.
"Nothing's wrong, dear. I just want to make a stop."
"Here? It's the middle of nowhere," she said, her tone confirming her words.
She looked around; I had to agree with her. The rice fields had given way to pine forests. There weren't even many towns.
"I used to work at a summer camp here back when I was in school," I started to explain. "We just passed the sign. I want to see if the old place is still there."
I was concentrating on remembering directions from the dim recesses of my brain so I didn't pay attention to the look on my wife's face.
"We have a long drive ahead of us," she complained.
"So it won't matter if we stop for a little while," I countered.
Whatever my wife came up with, I was committed. I was going to find the old place.
Unlike the interstate, we were now bumping along a two lane highway. It
looked
like the road to a summer camp. About the only things that broke the expanse of trees on either side of the road were cow pastures. We were in low rolling hills now, north of the delta that formed much of south Louisiana. I strained to remember the way. It was slowly coming back to me from more than twenty years in the past. Through the tiny town, across the bridge, and... I missed the turn. I saw the aged sign as I passed it. Hitting the brakes, I looked behind me. No traffic in either direction way out here so I just backed up the minivan at high speed. Then a left turn and over the bridge. More woods, over a few hills and it was just before the end of the road.
There wasn't even a sign anymore at the road. It must have been knocked down years ago. I recognized the clearing though, the old gravel parking lot. I remembered how dusty it would be on hot, dry Sunday afternoons.
There was a rusty bar chained across the road into the camp so I parked. I laughed to myself as I automatically parked neatly in what would have once been one of the spaces. It wasn't like there were going to be any cars parking next to me. By the look of things, there hadn't been cars parking here in years.
My daughter had put her DVD player down and was looking out the window. Wherever we were, it was a lot more interesting than the monotonous expanse along the interstate.
"Where are we, Daddy?" she asked excitedly.
"Camp Kisatchie," I said, the words almost catching in my throat. Camp Kisatchie, on the edge of the national forest.
My wife looked at me, uneasy now. I couldn't figure out why she wouldn't be interested to see a piece of my history.
"What do we do now?"
"We walk, Fran. It's not far."
"I think I'll stay here and read," she said in a noncommittal tone.
"Can I come with you, Daddy?" Laura asked from the backseat, a bundle of excited energy at the prospect of getting out for a little while.
"Sure, honey. Come see where Daddy used to work."
As I opened my door, I heard Fran sigh heavily. She put down her book and got out, sliding open the back door to help Laura get out.
I looked around. So much had changed. Things were overgrown, definitely not the carefully manicured grounds I remembered. Over the gate, a rusting arch still proclaimed the name. I walked around the gate and led the way.
At first, I didn't recognize things. It had been so long and everything looked so different now. Then, the road passed the old Quonset hut. The curved sheets of tin were no longer silver. Now they were more the color of rust, the window panes grimy with decades of filth.
"Is that where you slept?" Laura asked, her nose wrinkling as she spoke.
"No, dear. That is where the tractor slept," I explained. "It was a tool shed. Old Mr. Higgins kept his tools in there. He was the groundskeeper."
When I saw my daughter didn't understand the term, I explained, "He cut the grass."
Laura nodded in understanding.
"How far are we going to go?" Fran asked, trying to sound bored.
"Relax. Enjoy the outdoors," I said as we moved out from under the trees and into the opening. It took me a little while of looking around to get my bearings.
Then it hit me, like a cloth was lifted from my eyes. A wave of disjointed memories suddenly flooded my mind, making me dizzy as I tried to sort them out. The memories were of places, people, eventsβsome happy and some sad. I wondered what had happened to people I had known... and loved.
That brick building was the dining hall. Farther to the right, through those trees, was the swimming pool. The health lodge would have been about halfway there. The flagpole was in the center of that clearing, where we assembled to recite the Pledge of Allegiance every morning. The bunkhouses must beβ
"Daddy, where are the doors?"
Laura's question pulled me from my reminiscing. She was pointing to the dining hall. Well, the remains of the dining hall.
"They're gone now, dear. It was a long time ago that we ate there."
I took Laura by the hand and led her off to the dining hall, Fran bringing up the rear unhappily.
I walked towards the missing wall, feeling disoriented. The dining hall seemed smaller than I remembered. I felt a step up. Pushing leaves away with my foot, I could see the remains of an old tile floor. Of course! Part of the building had collapsed. What was still standing was just one end of the building.
I walked under the edge of the remaining roof, towards the fireplace and the engraved stone. I looked around, the strong memory giving me a feeling like vertigo for a moment. I was just about right here when I met
her
...
* * * * *
We filed into the dining hall, the warm summer air not yet feeling stuffy. It was time for the nine o'clock meeting and Bill was already at the front of the room. I looked around as I took my seat, recognizing old faces and nodding to them, looking at the new ones, noticing the new cute girls.