Season of the Wolf

Novella 2: On the Hunt

Chapter 1

The sky is gunmetal gray and the ocean turbid and violent. The wind is relentless and tears at my hair. Cold drops of rain splatter against my cheeks. I walk across swirling sands tossed by the storm and contemplate my next move.

People who don't know better think southern California is sunny and warm three hundred and sixty five days a year. It isn't. Sometimes, it's cold, damn cold, and today is one of those days. That's ok. I don't mind the weather. The surroundings, bleak, gray, and stormy suit my mood just fine.

The beach used to be a place of comfort to me. I feel closer to my parents here than anywhere else. It's been almost four years since I snuck out to the shore one morning just as dawn tinged the sky gold and sent their ashes adrift in the wind. What I did, setting them free, is probably illegal, but it's what I had to do to find the strength to move on. It's easier for me to imagine them as part of the sand, sea, salt air, and open sky than to think on the reality of them truly being gone.

I try to imagine what my parents would say about my current predicament. I'm sure my mother would come up with something positive and constructive that would somehow be absolutely perfect for the situation. My dad's advice would be more practical than soothing. He was never one to sugar coat or spare my feelings. He'd simply put it out there and let me sort things out for myself. Sometimes, his honesty would cut me to the bone, but I never minded. I'd rather hear the truth than a lie, no matter how sweet.

Being here, on this beach and staring out at the ocean, it's easy to conjure up the whisper of their voices on the howling winds, shifting sands, and the crash of waves striking the shore. But, I find no comfort in what I imagine they're saying to me.

It is true. You can't choose your parents or the family you were born into. But, what if you could? By being here instead of there, haven't I, in a round about way, done that? I have two sets of parents. The biological parents I never met and the parents I thought I knew so well. I have a family of strangers that bear a resemblance to me. I was born into a legacy that is more curse than gift. And it's from that, the truth of what I am, I've run.

Han explained that once I left the boundaries of pack magic the choice would be made for me. That hasn't happened yet. My wolf is still here, a part of me and I can feel her restlessly pacing in the body we both share. It's difficult to keep her contained in the wrapper of my human skin. I prefer this form, but sometimes, it's hard to hold onto it. I fight for what's mine just as she fights for what's hers and that's this body we share. I never asked for this. But, she doesn't seem to care.

I was born this way and until a few weeks ago didn't have the slightest clue.

I could hate Han for his big reveal. The truth of what I really am. But, it's hard to hate and love someone at the same time. It's even more difficult than it is to hold on to my human skin.

I could say I didn't run back to L.A. like a scared little girl. But, it's a lie. I ran, end of story. The truth is simply too much to process. I have a home, land, more money than I know what to do with, and one hell of a secret. I'm in love with a man and I don't know if that love is part of the legacy, just nature winning over nurture, or if it's because he is who he is instead of what he is. Someone else might look at my life and question why I left it behind. The money. The home. The land. The man. The virtual fountain of youth I've mysteriously tapped into. But, that's because they don't have to live it.

If I could muster the energy to hate anybody it should be Coyote. But, I don't hate him either. How could I when he's been truthful? Han picked the truths he chose to share saving back some until he was certain I could handle them. His timing sucked. I wasn't ready for the biggest truth of all. I'm not who I thought I was. Nothing is as I thought it was.

I've always known there was something different about me. But, I never guessed exactly how unique I am. I'm a werewolf. Han insists that shape shifter is a better word to describe the magic of changing from one form into another. But, I'm a realist to my core. There is no way to sugar coat the bitter pill of the truth to make it easier to swallow.

I'm over two thousand miles from the pack and I can still feel the pull of their particular brand of magic. I have one foot in both worlds and it's a slippery slope to walk. I have choices. I can live out here or in there, but I can't have both. It's too dangerous. The human world can't find out about us. One mistake, one time of letting my wolf slip off the chain and it's game over for all of us.

Han believes there are no others like us out there. I don't. Coyote doesn't either. My race is in danger of dying out because of the choices they made. To live in the isolated cocoon of the woods and the rural countryside of a nonexistent Indiana town instead of venturing out into the reality of the world that exists around them.

I think their fears hold them bound to that place and nothing else. The risk of losing the tie to pack magic keeps them rooted to the spot. I feel the magic and the stirring of my wolf. She hasn't abandoned me. But, I know the answer as to why or at least I think I do.

Once again, I owe Coyote for his honesty. Pressing my hand to my softening belly, I try to imagine the life growing inside of me. I took a tiny spark of that magic along with me. What I'm doing I do for both selfish and altruistic reasons. I do it for myself, for Han, for the pack, and primarily for the son or daughter who deserves every choice imaginable. Maybe, just maybe, someone who left the pack behind did it for the very same reasons I have. Perhaps, they're out here somewhere fueling the magic and keeping that preternatural flame ignited.

I don't believe we're on our own. The baby is enough of a reason to make me suspect or at least, have hope. My biological mother was running from or to something. My father sent her away and was planning to join her. That never happened. She was a victim of circumstance, simply in the wrong place at the wrong time. As for my father, I'd like to think that when he arrived here and couldn't find her or me it was what caused him to topple over the edge. My parents knew our pack was doomed by their own design and they were trying to escape that fate for my sake. I feel it in the marrow of my bones. There are others and it was to them she was running.

L.A. seems like a strange place to go on a wolf hunt. But, what better place to hide than in plain sight? Coyote suggested that I start my search here. Where it began, or at least, began for me. Coyote says there's no such thing as an accident. At this point, I've learned better than to doubt his word. He asked me how well I knew my adoptive parents and I came up short. I don't know everything. I knew them as well as any kid could know a parent, but nobody can know everything about a person, even the people closest to them.

I don't know exactly where to start looking. After all, it sounds a little crazy to be on the hunt for mythical creatures that shouldn't exist but do. So far, I have no trail to follow. But, I still believe I'll find it. I have to.

Chapter 2

I'm desperate to find Grace. Desperate enough that I've risked my bond to the pack and have driven over two thousand miles to search for her. I'm going on a leap of faith. Coyote was able to travel the distance, track her down, snap a few pictures without her knowledge, and make the journey back without any danger to his wolf. But, he was only gone a few days. Finding Grace and convincing her to come home where she belongs could take more time than we have.

We were only together one time, Grace and I. But, once was enough to have me foolishly believing she would stay put by my side. Like a love struck fool I let my guard down. She left. I overestimated myself in my abilities to be everything she needed me to be. And I underestimated Grace. The hold her fears have on her and the appeal of the outside world as a means to escape them. Grace is more human than what I could have anticipated. And in so many ways just as desperate as I am.

I told her she had the right to choose. At the time, I thought I meant those words. I was wrong in that assumption as well. My motivation for finding her is for my own selfish reasons. I know I should let her go. That would be the right thing to do. But, I can't. She is the other half of my soul and without her I'm incomplete. I need her.

There's something more than my need of her that has me so desperate. Grace carries my child. I should have thought ahead and planned for such a possibility. But, at the time I was so overwhelmed by everything that is Grace. I was just so damned happy to finally find the one woman capable of completing me that I didn't give much of anything a thought beyond that moment.

I was a fool in all ways. I pushed Grace too hard too fast. I revealed too many truths before she was capable of understanding them. She got scared. And now I'm the one who is truly terrified.

I could blame Coyote for his part in this mess. Grace stopped at the bar to tell him goodbye before she left. He could have tried harder to convince her to stay. Coyote is a master of mischief and trickery. He is capable of stringing words together and manipulating people with them to the point where their own thoughts are an illusion. There was more he could have done. He could have used physical force if he'd had to. Of course, Coyote's sense of self-preservation prevented that. My wolf would have torn him to pieces if he'd laid one finger on Grace.

Oh, I get it. What Coyote's end game truly is. He's just as desperate as Grace and I. He wants to find his other half and this is how he's going to do it. By sending me in search of Grace. He hopes to prove that others like us exist. He has always been about the ends justifying the means. If I find proof of others, that would mean we're no longer alone in the world. It would also mean that it's possible for us to live beyond the small bubble of the only world we've ever known.

Coyote foresees a rosy outcome. I don't. I know what wolves are and are not. And that's the real reason why the pack has passed down the traditions from one generation to the next. We've never left our territory in search of others because it won't have a good result. Our tiny foothold in the bigger human world was earned with blood and pain, and ultimately, it's about survival.

Much like natural wolves, our territory has been pushed back to a small sliver of what it once was. I don't hate humans. I simply resent their encroachment into what little exists of my world. We've only managed to survive by hiding in the places humans haven't found worthy of their time. If there is a pack here, most likely they've done the same. Only instead of hiding in deserted places, they've hidden in plain sight to protect their own. If I'm, or Grace, is discovered here, it would be any different than if a wolf wandered into my territory uninvited. It will end badly.

Coyote's impatience has pushed me out into the larger world. The pack is vulnerable because I'm here. If he found traces of others, he should have told me instead of scheming to achieve his own ends. He has endangered, not only Grace and I but all of us.

I already know what I'm going to do with Coyote when I return. He wants to be out in the real world so badly. He can have it. I'll set him up with an identity and he can be part of this human world he dreams of so desperately. He can die a human death as one of them instead of living many lifetimes as one of us. Maybe, then he'll understand the true meaning of the sacrifices we've all made to ensure the next generation comes into being.

Coyote isn't a coward. But, he won't last long in the human world. It'll kill me to shun him from the pack. But, after what he's done to Grace, shunning is what he deserves. If I can't locate Grace before it's too late. His punishment will be far more severe. He'll die for nothing more than a pipe dream.

I've suffered more than one painful loss in my long lifetime. I might have been able to survive losing Grace. Maybe I could have let her go and kept true to my word about the choices she was free to make. But, that option doesn't exist for either one of us anymore.

She loves me. Deep in the marrow of my bones I know it. I've loved her since before she was born. Together we've created something bigger than the both of us. We've made the future. It is the spark of hope in our unborn child, in the future we've forged through the union of flesh, and that I have in Grace's love for me and our child, that has me risking my wolf to find her.

Chapter 3

In a city so packed with humanity, I've got no way to track Grace's scent. Out here in the human world I've got to rely on intellect more than my wolf. He doesn't like the unfamiliar sights, smells, or sounds of many people living in such a small place. At least, I have the comfort of knowing he hasn't abandoned me yet. I'd rather deal with my wolf's agitation bristling in my brain than not feel him there at all.

I can see what had Coyote believing there might be pack here in this place. It'd be easier to hide in a city than I thought. L.A. is filled with dark nooks and crannies and the constant throng of life would make excellent cover for a wolf on the prowl. At this point, I'm beginning to question the folklore about my people. Maybe we can live away from the pack and the legends were nothing more than stories meant to keep us firmly rooted in the spot. I don't like to think of my ancestors as liars and the traditions we've always followed as falsehoods, but maybe they are.

I've rented a room with a great view of the sand and sea Grace so dearly loves. Watching the waves crash into the shore is peaceful and helps to hold me rooted in my human skin. Humanity may have a hold on the earth, but there's truly nothing they can do to contain the wildness of nature. Nature always wins in the end. And it's that knowledge that has me searching for Grace so vehemently. My pack is dying out because we've clung to traditions that might or might not be true. Nature is having her way with us, but thanks to Grace and I and the baby she carries. We've won this round.

I've spent the last twenty-four hours wandering the streets and the beaches looking for Grace. I have nothing more to go on than a hunch and Coyote's word. Grace came here in search of others like us. She says she's doing it for all of us. It'd be a greater comfort to me if she were home where she belongs and under the protection of the pack. Out here, there's little I can do to keep her safe. In my world though, she'd be protected. I'd see to it.

I can't stop Grace from dying from some unforeseen event. I can't keep her from being in the wrong place at the wrong time. I can't prevent a bullet from hitting its mark. Josiah didn't send his wife here to die. He sent her here for some reason and it ended badly. I know Grace's parents and I know it deep down in my soul. Whatever they did. Much like I've always done and always will do. They did for her.

Today, the beach is deserted. The angry sea and cold relentless winds have chased everyone inside. The sky is pregnant with gray storm clouds ready to burst. It's not a good day to be on the hunt. But, I'm going out anyway. My wolf won't let me rest until we find Grace. And I don't know which one of us is more restless, him or me.

I've searched every place except for the most obvious. I'm going to pay her best friend a visit. Grace didn't say much about her life in L.A. She tries to keep moving forward and isn't one to dwell on the past. It's one of the things I like about her the most.

I don't know what kind of people Christine and Rod are, but I'm hoping their love for Grace overrides any distrust they might have for a stranger. If Grace has been there, my wolf will scent her out. It won't matter if her friends divulge any information about her whereabouts or not. All I'll have to do is bide my time and wait for her to show up. My wolf is patient and cunning. And sometimes the best hunting strategy a wolf has is to do nothing more than wait for the prey to come to him.

Chapter 4

I feel a little guilty about spending my inheritance. My grandfather left me a huge sum in a trust fund. He trusted me with the pack's fortune and their future and here I am spending it to finance my escape. I'm not running away. I vehemently remind myself of that fact. I'm here on a mission. Prove Coyote right? Prove him wrong? I don't know which result I'm hoping for more.

I'm careful about what I spend. Only the necessities and that's it. But, it's L.A. and even the barest of essentials don't come cheap. I've rented a room in a fleabag hotel. It's a bed and a toilet and not much else, but at least I'm close to the ocean. I'm working under the assumption that being close to nature is paramount to someone like me. It does help to smell the fresh salty air and feel a bit of ocean spray on my cheeks.

I've ruled out the city parks as places to hunt for wolves. A park is too civilized to soothe the wild beast. It's got to be here, on the beach, where I'll find my wolves. I've looked for paw prints stamped into the sand. I've seen a few, but I'm not skilled enough to know a wolf print from that of a large dog.

I don't worry about Han tracking me through the use of electronic records. If he wants to hunt me, he won't need a trail of bank transactions to do it. He has called my cell phone at least a million times, but I haven't listened to his voice mails or returned his calls. I already know everything he has to say and can do without that little trip down guilty bitch lane.

He loves me. The absence of him feels like a hole has been punched straight through my heart. I can't let that stop me though from doing what I need to do.

I panicked. One night together, one amazing night, and I run out on him. I admit my fault in that. But, I knew and I still know. He'll never let me go. I only hope I can accomplish my goal before he catches up with me. If he comes after me at all, which I suspect he will. I'm supposed to be out here on my own with nothing but the choice to leave as my only companion. But, if Coyote is right, it won't matter. One way or another, I would have proven my point and achieved my purpose. We're not alone.

Then Han will see that I left for him, not because of him. I'm doing this for him. He's lived his whole life for me and for the greater good of the pack. It's time he got to make a few choices in his own life and live it for himself. That's all I want. To make sure he gets the opportunity to make the choices he deserves.

My suspicions were right about one thing. The minute I got a few miles away from that nonexistent Indiana town. I had cell phone reception again. I still haven't called Christine. I know I'm being selfish and unreasonable. I should return her calls.

I'm in L.A. and if Christine knew I was here and hadn't stopped by to see her. She'd be furious. I can deal with her drama. It isn't that. It's just that she'll want more information than I'm willing to provide. I can't tell her the truth and I'm not a very good liar. I know Christine won't understand why I can't say all the things I'm bound not to say.

I haven't called Han for much more personal reasons. I know myself too well. I'd go back, if he asked. My guilt over all the things I've done and the things I haven't done is eating me alive. I'm not focused on my goal. Finding others like us is paramount to the future. I owe it to so many to give this my all. I just don't know where I'm supposed to look. Coyote said to go back to where it all began. I'm here and I haven't found anything. I'm as far into my past as I can get.