Sasha

Sitting at the gate, I started to get second thoughts about what I was about to do. I gazed out onto the tarmac.

If I tell Dylan what's going on, it's really, really going to hurt him. That truly isn't what I want.

But how could I give up what I'd found with Sasha? I reflected on my life with Dylan; pleasant as it was, he didn't make me feel nearly as alive, as

desired

as I did for the mere 24 hours I spent with Sasha.

Gosh, I married Dylan for all the wrong reasons, didn't I?

That realization made me feel sick to my stomach.

I'll talk to Sasha about it in a few hours. He'll make me feel better.

I decided it was time to put my Dylan problem out of my mind. I was ready to get on a plane and see my lover.

I'll at least feel good for a while very soon.

I was so relieved to see that my flight was ready to depart on time, and I boarded without problem. The plane taxied towards the runway, then stopped. "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking," I heard from the intercom. "I'm sorry to inform you that we've been asked to hold takeoff for approximately 60 minutes due to heavy traffic conditions at LAX. We'll have to wait here on the tarmac. I'll let you know as soon as we've been cleared."

I could hear a collective moan from the rest of the passengers on the plane.

God fucking damn it!

I was so angry.

How dare my precious time with Sasha be wasted, be stolen like this!

I flipped through the stupid airlines magazine, not reading a word. I fiddled with my headset. I brought out my laptop and turned it on, but just stared at the screen.

When is this fucking plane going to take off!

After the longest period of time in all of recorded history, in my mind anyway, the plane started to move. As it took off, I wanted to stand up and scream; "Can't you make this thing go any faster?" At this point, I would have only about two hours before my flight to Tokyo took off. Oh, maybe that flight would be late too! That thought made me feel better.

My optimism was dashed a few minutes later. "Ladies and gentlemen, this is the captain again. I'm sorry, but we've encountered a severe storm cell over Nevada that is affecting a number of flights going into Los Angeles. We've been instructed to maintain a holding pattern which will delay our arrival by at least another 45 minutes, maybe an hour. I'm sure you can appreciate the problem..."

Appreciate your problem, my ass! Don't you realize I need to get laid? Tonight!

My head started to throb. I closed my eyes and tried not to have an aneurysm.

I wondered if Sasha knew about my flight delay. I assumed he'd check with the airlines, but I was so frustrated by being late that I had to talk to him. I pulled the phone out of the seat in front of me, fumbled with the credit card and finally placed the call to his office. Three rings, four rings, no answer. His voice mail recording interrupted the ringing. "Hello, you've reached the desk of Sasha Katarinov. I'm not here, so please leave a message."

He's not there, so he must be on the way to the airport.

How the sound of his voice made me feel like crying. At the beep, I wailed, "Sasha, it's me, I'm being held prisoner on this damn plane! We're not going to have any time. Please, please be there! I'm so sorry. Love you."

After an eternity, we landed. The flight attendant read a list of connections over the intercom. My flight to Tokyo was departing right on time.

Even before the plane came to a full and complete stop, I leapt up, grabbed my bags and stood by the door. The flight attendant gave me a dirty look, but I didn't care. I wanted to grab that huge door handle to open the damn thing myself. When it finally swung open, I leapt onto the jetway and sprinted up to the terminal. There was a sea of faces at the other end, but I did not see the face I had been waiting so impatiently for. I pushed my way through the crowd. Nothing. I walked quickly around the chairs at the gate. I looked up and down the crowded walkway. Nothing.

Was he at another gate?

I ran up to the nearest agent. "Are there any other flights arriving from Denver at this time?"

The agent typed something on his terminal and replied, "Yours is the only one to have made it in this afternoon."

My heart plummeted.

A glance at the clock told me I'd better get moving if I wanted to be on the flight to Tokyo. I looked around one more time, hoping against hope that he was just teasing me, and would leap out from behind a pillar. That didn't happen. I struggled to keep from crying as I walked down to the other end of the terminal and found my gate.

I handed my ticket to the agent.

"You can go right on board."

"How much longer can I wait here?"

"Ma'am, you need to board immediately."

"Five minutes! Please?"

She frowned. "Five minutes, but if we close the doors, you'll be out of luck."

I stood in the middle of the corridor, turning from one side to the other every few seconds. I scrutinized the face of every dark-haired man I could see, but none of them looked familiar. I finally had to concede that I had missed Sasha. I was not going to get to see him.

Maybe I will never see him again

.

I boarded the plane and took my seat in business class next to the window. I couldn't believe that I was on another flight out of LAX with my heart breaking. I looked out the window, tears in my eyes. We took off over the dark ocean.

I wish I could jump out of this damn plane.

The plane leveled off and flight attendants started their service. I took a scotch, but refused dinner. After I had drained the drink, I closed my eyes.

A voice above me with a strange drawl said, "Ma'am, you really should eat somethin'. It's not good for a pretty girl like you to drink your dinner."

I kept my eyes closed. "No, thank you," I said with an annoyed tone.

Jesus, that isn't a flight attendant, is it?

"No, really, I think you should..."

I opened my eyes, ready to tell off whoever was being so obnoxious. I looked up. There was Sasha.