Prologue
"Shit. Feels so fuckin' good."
"Please, please, please. Harder," the little redhead begged. We started pounding harder. "Oh, God. Yes," she squealed.
"Fuck, man. I can feel you," I gasped.
"Yeah. Jesus. Fucking close," Raine gritted out. I looked at his enraptured face and my balls tightened painfully. Shit. His dark eyes were hooded, his teeth sunk into his bottom lip, and head rolled back slightly. He was sexy. He was gorgeous. He was also very, very straight.
"Holy fucking shit. She's about to blow, man," he choked out. "Come on, sweetheart." The redhead's muscles tightened and her ass clenched around my cock. Lightening zinged up my spine.
"Fffuuuccckkk," I groaned and started spurting, filling the rubber barrier. I felt Raine jerk against the thin wall that separated us. It wasn't what I wanted, but I'd take what I could get.
"Oh, Jesus," he cried out. His chiseled face contorted and his eyes squeezed close. Fuck. I leaned forward before I could stop myself. As if drawn by some invisible force, I pressed my lips to his.
I figured I had about five seconds before he realized what was going on and I lost my best friend of twenty five years. I was terrified, but at the same time I felt peace like I'd never known.
I had struggled with my sexuality since I was fifteen and let Luke Grayson blow me in the locker room after a track meet. He got me off and abruptly told me never to tell anyone. Right. Like I was going to announce that shit to a bunch of testosterone laden, high school males in the Bible Belt.
I loved women. Really loved them. A tight pussy and great tits got me every time. What no one, not even my best friend, knew, was chiseled abs and a big cock did it too.
It was sometime in that hailstorm of confusion that I fell for my best friend. My straight, gorgeous best friend. I'd never said a word to him about it. Yet, here I was, kissing his firm lips. Savoring every second, because I knew after this, even if our friendship survived, our sexual exploits wouldn't.
To my utter surprise, Raine's mouth opened to me on a low moan. His eyes were still tightly shut and his face was still twisted in the throes of passion. I plunged my tongue in like a man starved.
Shocking me again, he dueled with my tongue. He snuck his hand around and palmed the back of my head, crushing me closer. The kiss turned brutal and demanding. Lack of oxygen and the sweet taste I'd wanted for so long made my head swim.
At some point I was pushed out of the redhead's ass and onto my back. Raine came over me and pressed his body into mine. His eyes were still closed but the kiss deepened and became more urgent.
I pushed his shoulders hard enough to flip our positions. He growled at me and rolled me back under him. I felt his erection grinding into my thigh, while his tongue fucked into my mouth.
Jesus. This was really happening. My cock strained toward him and my hands roamed his back. When I reached his ass I squeezed and pulled him toward me. His eyes flew open and he scrambled off of the bed.
"Jesus fucking Christ," he breathed out. His eyes were wide and panicked as he stared at me. His chest heaved. "What the fuck were we doing? What the fuck?" He glanced at the redhead who was just staring between the two of us. "I'm...I'm sorry, man. I...fuck."
He pulled on his track pants and stared back at me. I felt my heart shatter. He didn't want this. I'd pulled him into it, and now he was panicked and guilty feeling. "No. Man, not your fault," I said numbly. "I...it was me."
"We can't...I'm not...are you...?" He stammered. He didn't need to finish the question. I looked down at my thighs and gave a single nod. "What? Why didn't you say something? Fuck, man. Fuck!"
"I couldn't," I whispered.
"We can't do this again," he stated. My stomach clenched and my nose burned. I gave a jerky nod. After what seemed like an eternity I looked up. He was gone.
"I'm, um, I'm gonna go. For what it's worth," the redhead said softly, "it was the hottest thing I've ever seen." I gave her a half smile and kissed her cheek.
"Thanks, sweetheart," I said genuinely. "I'll walk you out."
Prologue 2
"You're what?" Jack asked incredulously.
"Bisexual," I repeated. I looked around at my friends. Their faces ranging from shock to acceptance. None of them looked horrified, though. For that I was grateful.
"Since when?" Jack said through his shocked haze.
"I don't know. Since forever, I guess," I answered as honestly as I could.
"Have you ever...?" Ben blushed and trailed off. I nodded.
"I personally think that's kind of hot," Jen piped up and grinned at me. Ben snapped his eyes to his very pregnant wife. "What? If you guys can get off on two girls, I can think two hot guys is hot," she explained and shrugged.
I couldn't help the short bark of laughter that escaped me. "Are you sayin' I'm hot, darlin'?"
"Um...duh," Anya answered for her. "You know you're gorgeous." Jack looked from me to his fiancée and back.
"What do you mean he's gorgeous?" He snipped.
"Face it, dudes. Your women want me," I teased. Laughter flowed from the group. "So? You guys are...okay...with this?"
Ben squinted at me and frowned. "Dude, did you think we would all ditch you?" I looked down and nodded. "What the hell, man? What do you take us for? I never cared who you fucked before. I'm not gonna start now. As long as its not my wife or my momma." I glanced back up at him and smiled. Ben grinned back and smacked my head. "Idiot." I chanced a look around the table and everyone else was grinning back at me.
My heart stuttered. I had been sweating this for a week. After what happened with Raine, I knew I needed to speak up. I looked over at my best friend. He wasn't grinning. He was sickly pale and his lips were compressed into a tight line. He looked at me through guarded eyes.
I'd be lying if I said things between us were anything but strained. I felt guilty and fucking lonely as hell. I couldn't remember a time that I didn't have my best friend to talk to, to make music with. Fuck just to sit in silence with. Now even the silences were tense and loud.
I looked away from him and bit into my cheek to keep the emotional pain at bay. "Dude, you okay?" I heard Jack's voice. I glanced at him and realized he was talking to Raine not me. Raine gave a quick affirmative jerk and stood up. He looked back at me for a split second and walked out of Ben's dining room.
"What the hell was that about?" Anya asked softly.
"It's a lot for him to take in," I answered the table and sighed before looking up at the most supportive group of people I could ask for. "He...thought he knew everything about me. We've...shared...intimate situations. I betrayed his trust by keeping this from him."
"Is he going to be okay?" Jen asked. I shrugged and blinked back the moisture pooling in my eyes. I heard Jen's sharp intake breath. I snapped my head to her. Fuck. She knew. She totally had it figured out.
"'Scuse me," I mumbled and stood. "See you guys later." A round of mumbled benedictions went around as I headed for the door.
"Deacon. Wait," Jen called as I reached for the knob. I turned to face her. "Does he know?"
