RestaurantMeetsNET Pt. 02: Amies Hotel
Imposition
He sat at the round dining table that was set for six diners, on his own, perusing the Acceptance Procedure on his tablet. He pretty much knew the technical stuff, but it was the wording of the procedure that he was contemplating.
It was enough to fill in the time as he waited for a waitress. It was busy this evening, and, as he was last-in, he got to wait.
Eventually, a flustered waitress did approach him.
"Excuse me sir, but, as you can see, we are busy this evening, and there is a late guest at the hotel, and there are no free tables. As you are alone, would you mind sharing your table this evening?"
The waitress finished with a hopeful, pleading, look.
He looked at her and considered.
'OK.' he thought, 'Swings-and-roundabouts. As long as he doesn't want to talk about football, or politics, or rugby, or cricket! And the restaurant will owe me one!'
"That will be fine." He told the waitress, "And when you are ready, I am ready to order."
He couldn't NOT take the opportunity to get part of the 'owed one' back.
"Thank you, sir. I'll bring the other guest, and then take your order." Then she swivelled smartly round and weaved off between the tables.
He turned back to his tablet with a smug smile -- 'One!' he thought.
A couple of minutes later, he became aware of movement close to his table, and saw the waitress with a woman in tow.
He looked behind the waitress for the other guest, but didn't see him, so wondered what had happened to him.
"This gentleman has kindly agreed for you to share his table this evening." The waitress pulled out the chair opposite him, and the woman who was with the waitress moved forward to be seated.
He froze.
Immediate impression: - mature woman -- well dressed in close fitting lavender dress, with a low-cut cowl neckline -- reddish, wavy hair, well past shoulder length -- Suzanna Thompson look-alike[!] (Moira Queen from Arrow) -- but with that reddish hair -- HOT!
He surged to his feet, but not, alas,
after
moving away from the table. So his upper thighs rocked the table quite badly when they clashed it, which caused the wine glasses to wobble and roll, and the cutlery to skip and clash with each other and with the side plates. He stumbled back half a step, which left him clear of the table.
The woman had surged back to her feet from the half crouch, that had been descending into a 'sit', clutching her menu defensively before her.
"Oh, shit!" he squawked, "Sorry! Sorry! Sorry!" as both he and the waitress tried to pounce on the moving and shifted tableware.
Once order was restored, the woman sat, and looked at him with an open expression.
He stood and stared at her.
The waitress set the glass of wine, that she had been carrying, in its place before the woman.
The woman sat staring at him -- staring at her.
He blossomed with redness.
She glazed a light pink.
In his embarrassment, he forgot what his next move was supposed to be, and just stood there, vacant -- like a eunuch in a brothel[?].
"Does sir wish to order?" The waitress was going for 'precedence' rather that 'etiquette'.
!!!
"Excuse me sir, but do you wish to order now?"
"What?"
"Do you wish to place your order now, sir?"
"Uh -- yeah." And he swooped down to reclaim his chair, clipped his tablet, which then flipped towards the floor. He lurched to try to grab it en-route, but just knocked it beneath the table; where he tried to pounce on it, but, as it was still moving, he missed it. When it did stop, he grabbed it, with relief, and tried to straighten-up, clouted the top of his head on the underside of the table, thus causing the tableware to skip once again.
While he was hugging the top of his head in pain, he became aware of the woman's lower extremities.
Her dress, that had pulled up her legs due to being seated, revealed shapely, toned, tanned, and long bare legs, visible from her mid-thigh down; with silver, ankle strap, stilettoes, with a full toe-cap.
THAT's when he groaned!
He backed out -- slowly, hand on his head, and re-seated himself.
He looked up at the waitress -- who looked back at him, with an -- interested[?] and expectant expression.
He ordered. She scribbled his order down on her pad, with his room number.
She turned to the woman, "And you, Madam?" then scribbled down that order.
Then the woman ordered a bottle of red wine. That got scribbled down as well.
The waitress looked back at him, and read back his order, then asked if he would like to order anything to drink. He had a sudden vision of glasses of red wine -- trying, unsuccessfully, to stay upright when he knocked the table
yet
again -- and yes, he was sure it was going to be 'when' and not 'if', and thus causing his wine slop all over the table.
"Ah! No! Thanks."
"Water?"
He re-thought.
"Yes, OK. Glass of tap water, please -- ice, no fruit, please."
That got written down.
The waitress read back the woman's order to her, and received confirmation that it was correct; took the woman's room number, then turned and left.
The woman, while looking at him, said, "No fruit?"
"Sorry -- What?"
"You told the waitress that you didn't want fruit in your water?"
"Uh -- no. Just taints the water, so it's neither water nor fruit juice. Appalling way of serving water! And the horrible thing is that usually they don't ask. You know? 'Gin and tonic please.' sez I -- 'Ice and lemon?' asks the waiter -- 'Yes please.' or 'No thanks.' I answer.
"But with water, it's 'You'll have the bloody lemon slices; and stuff what you would prefer!' "
She gave a wry grin.
"You can share my wine if you would like. I have had a glass or two this afternoon, so shouldn't drink a bottle to myself, so sharing should solve that temptation."
"OK, thank you very much. But don't blame me if it gets spilt."
"It's a big table -- I'll risk it."
Dinner
She and he sat, contemplating each other.
He stuck his hand out across the table towards her, narrowly missing his (empty) wine glass -- applied the Sean Connery accent, and said, "The namesh Pond, Jamesh Pond, but I'm working undercover, sho I'm deliberately not being azh shmooth and shuave azh I normally am."
After a slight pause, and an 'almost smile', she reached out for his hand, shook it, and said, "My name's Menny; I'm Mrs. Punny Menny. How do you do?"
He shmiled, "Much better now, Mshsh Menny."
"You may call me Punny, as we are dining companions."
"And you may call me Jamesh." then, in his 'normal' voice he continued, "Don't forget the shh, it'sh very important,"
"OK. How'sh your head?"
"Huh! Won't know until I find it. Doesn't seem to have been present for a while.
"Now, I'm sorry, but I believe I've made a large enough fool of myself this evening, so perhaps I should shut up, disappear back into my tablet, and let you eat in peace."
"Thank you.
Then she continued, "But -- just for curiosity's sake, why are you on this big table alone?"
"Oh, I wouldn't like to bother you with such a tedious tale."
"Really? Go on -- give it a try, I have nothing better to do until my dinner is served," she looked around, and sighed, "and that may take a while, so bore me!"
"OK, you asked for it. Don't blame me!
"Hmmm. OK! I'm here to work. Factory on the outskirts of town, that is -- not the hotel. I have been here for the last week, with four colleagues. They finished their part today, and have gone home. The next batch, of five, were due to arrive today, and we planned eating here this evening, hence this big table was booked for us. But there was a holdup, and they couldn't get away as planned. So that left me -- alone -- to entertain you.
"Wow, you are still awake! I didn't think that I was that good a raconteur."
* * * * *
She thrust her hand out towards him, "Marion Monroe, how do you do?"
"Marilyn Monroe? Really?"
She sighed, "No. It's Marion -- as in 'Maid Marion' -- of Robin Hood fame[?]."
"Freddie Baxter, at your service... or perhaps 'disservice' might be better -- currently. And it IS Freddie -- not Frederick."
He kept trying to disappear back into his tablet, but she each time asked him a question, necessitating him to put down the tablet, and consider an answer, or a response, before making it. Once their meals were served, and the eating commenced, the 'question and answer' interchanges gradually relaxed into general discussions and the tablet was ignored, and a few wise cracks, then some jokes and easier repartee.
After she made a particularly caustic comment about life in general, he barked a laugh.
"Phew! Beautiful, hot, sexy, intelligent AND a sense of humour. Must've died and gone to Heaven."
He took a sip of his wine -- and noticed her -- locked up, and gazing towards him.
Initially,
he
froze.
But then looked over his shoulder to check if what had grabbed her attention was behind him. The wall proved to be as bland and inert as it had been when he arrived. "What?"
"What was that you said?" Her voice was low, and controlled.
"Didn't say anything. Did I?"
"You did say something. And it ended in 'Heaven'."
"I... " he squeaked, "said that...