Red Doors

Spring had come early something else I noticed about Thomas. He was a gardener anything he touched grew into massive floral bouquets. Sitting out on the porch as we read about our next case. The greenery shaded us beautifully.

Glancing at the names on the tops of the bio's it didn't ring a bell. Looking at the stats never gave much information. That would come as we met them.

"Abigail how do you think my roses are doing?" Thomas asked.

I looked over at them smiling for he had some beautiful hybrids. His green thumb had made the patio a true haven.

"Thomas they are just stunning. Your choices of colors along with the plantings you made a great choice." I answered earnestly.

I watched his strong arms gentle fingers and realized I was getting aroused. It was such an amazing sight. His masculine body was handsomely rugged. I knew I was going to have to focus on something else. I had to quit being a bundle of erotic nerves. The mere fact that he was my professor, seemed to increase my desires for him.

* * * * *

"Penny for your thoughts?" Thomas asked.

I looked over my sunglasses at his face. His lips were delicious looking. My eyes moved down his face.

"Are you day dreaming Abigail?" He laughed.

I sat there undressed him with my eyes. Loved his masculinity he was so sexy.

"No, Thomas I am not day dreaming I was just enjoying the flowers." I said a little annoyed.

Hoping he would quit tempting me. He was stretching and bending over. Standing then squatting. I was going to cum with this motions if he didn't stop.

"Well, I would buy the flower gazing but you aren't looking at flowers. They are over there." He laughed boisterously.

I was so humiliated I jumped up from the chair tripped on the leg of the chair landing on the patio flat on my face. I saw Thomas running towards me. Then he stopped in his wisdom. I was going to get up by my own volition. I got up stood there straightening my dress. I stomped off. Wisely Thomas didn't make a move or utter a word.

Once inside the building I checked my knee's they had gotten scraped. How can one man take over my thoughts?

I decided to read upon the case in the little kitchen nook. Thumbing thru the pages I found the stats.

* * * * *

Randy and Susan 923-48

Susan had written on her personal information that she was a woman that was made for marriage. Doted on her husband raised three children. Her first husband had died from a coronary when they were in their mid twenties.

Didn't believe in happiness without a husband.

She was 5' 8" slim at 133 pounds. Black hair green eyes her face was pretty. Seeing her smile at the camera she had class. Her face was kind. She loved dogs found many strays homes with her friends. Those she couldn't find homes for seemed to live with her.

She was a closet writer meaning she wrote for the enjoyment yet rarely shared her gift. Her picture looked like she was the PTA President. She posted she loved animals, base ball and apple pie.

Scanning to his bio I found him remarkable as in his stats. His black hair was peppered with gray his eyes were gray green. He was 6' 220 pounds handsome man. His face was friendly his smile seemed to be capable of making others smile.

He had degree's in business been married at an early age. His first wife had died from cancer. He had joined a spouse without partners where he met Susan.

They enjoyed animals which was a good thing they had a menagerie.

What I found remarkable was he was not a sighted person. He had lost his sight right after his first wife died. He had never seen his wife. He hadn't seen his own children. Yet his eyes had such a gentleness in them.

* * * * *

Did you get hurt Abigail?" Thomas spoke quietly.

He made me jump startling me I was reading and forgot he was around.

"No, I am fine thank you for asking." I answered while moving my knee's so he couldn't see the scrapes.

"Good. So you read the bio's? This might be an incredible case for us." Thomas pulled out a chair sat down slowly.

His presence was all ready overwhelming my senses. I hadn't the nerve to ask him his cologne that he wears. His eyes were exciting the way they crinkled in the corners. My heart was racing causing me to concentrate on that and not on him.

"Well, never being with a blind man will be challenging. Do you know how he became blind?" I asked smiling.

Thomas shook his head. Reaching for the files I misread thinking he was going to touch my hand. Well, there I went again. Assuming that he was interested in me. As I turned my hand to fit in his he stopped for a fraction of a second. It dawned both of us that he was going to pick the file up not reaching for my hand.

I was embarrassed he knew I was. He even blushed a little but it passed over his face. I was the one sitting there ten shades of red. Looking away I pretended that it didn't happen. He rustled the pages clearing his throat before speaking.

"You will find Randy the most handicapable not handicapped." He stated with an air of familiarity.

I turned to look at him wanting to ask How? Where? When? I smiled at his face he was the most unreadable man on earth.

"So is there a reason you have been with him before now and here?" I asked with interest.

"Matter of fact I knew him with his first wife, Leanna. We did some deep therapy helping him prepare for being a single man.' "His life is full with many things that he stays in control with." He said as he stood up.

I was always amazed at his lay back attitude. Things will fit all together with worry or no worry. So why do the worrying? That was his philosophy.

"May I get you some tea, Abigail? He was smiling. 'I see your gears working trying to place this in a compartment. Let me tell you Randy doesn't fit neat and tidy in a box, Abigail." He laughed.

"Yes, I would love some tea with honey. So he isn't holding back because he went blind? How did he go blind? Did you know him as a sighted man?" I asked with interest.

He placed the cup of tea in front of me just as the phone rang. He stood up said hello then he turned his back to me. I had so much to learn about people. I thoroughly enjoyed the in's and out's of a case unfolding before me.

Thomas sat back down across from me. Smiling wide I was intrigued by his smiling. It must have been something to do with a case we worked on. I sat there waiting for him to tell me. He stirred his tea placed the spoon down looked into my eyes. Didn't say a word about the call.

Well, if he thought I would ask more questions he was wrong. This man was always doing this to me. Building my anticipation to become silent. I had to try to let it go. Without giving him the satisfaction of knowing something I didn't.

We sat there for a long time he was looking at the flowers outside. I was reading the papers. It was quiet but it was a comfortable quiet.

"So when will I meet Randy and Susan?" I asked nonchalantly.

"That was the call I had been waiting for. They have landed made it to the home they will be staying in. Looking forward to tomorrow morning." Thomas said.

My mind was already flashing thru the papers I had read about them. Apparently I wasn't going to get any answer's on the blind part. Well, in the morning I would meet this couple.

The afternoon turned into early evening. I looked at Thomas his face was handsome. Being near him like this I felt so close to him.

"Care for some dinner, Abigail? I can grill a pretty good steak?" He asked.

"Sure that would be lovely." I answered smiling at him.

He went about readying the grill as though he was performing open heart surgery. He seemed to relax a little as he got started. Perhaps loosening his tie gave me that thought. Females go to a doctor told to disrobe. They strip down the men will loosen their tie.

Looking thru the kitchen I found some great salad makings. It wasn't long before he brought the dinner in we sat down to eat. Standing up he walked towards the wine cabinet.

"Care to have a glass of wine, Abigail?" Thomas was relaxing his voice was softer.

"No, I had a bad time with the last time I drank some." I smiled before it dawned on me that was my fantasy not real.

He brought a bottle of wine poured himself a glass sitting it down between us.

Seeing the bottle I thought about having a small glass after all. I started to pour it but Thomas took it from my hand. I turned my eyes away I didn't want watch his hands pouring a glass of wine.

Dinner turned out wonderful the wine had relaxed me. So I could enjoy talking with him and not lusting for him. I helped him gather up the dishes we went onto the patio. Nights air was cooling us down.

"Tomorrow morning shall be a tremendous case study for you." Thomas said with certainty.

"You never told me how he became blind?" I asked again not expecting to hear the answer.

"That might spoil the effect for you Abigail. In actuality its jumping the gun on this case." He spoke elusive as always.

Tonight though I allowed it to not bother me. I was soon getting sleepy. When we had a hard day and it got late I stayed in one of the other bedrooms.

Standing up I stretched long body stretch not caring how it would affect him to see me stretching.

"Night Abigail" Thomas' voice was strained.

Well, okay I wanted him to sound strained. Would I ever stop lusting for him?

I hope I never got over lusting for this man. He brought me so much joy in my life. I walked into the house leaving Thomas sitting alone.

* * * * *

The next morning I found myself running late that wine caused me to fall into deeper sleep. I hadn't seen Thomas around so I went ahead and fixed breakfast.

Sitting down to French toast with orange sauce I heard walking coming towards me.

"Abigail I brought breakfast for us." Thomas said as he came around seeing my breakfast.

His face was classical looking at the breakfast I had made. He had ran out to McDonald's looking at his sausage biscuit. He actually smiled at the difference in our thoughts. I had made plenty so I jumped up and started his toast while he laid the newspaper out.

"Thomas I didn't see you round but I made plenty let's share mine." I said with a smile.

His face broke out into a smile that always jump started my heart. He tossed his breakfast into the trash compactor. In a few minutes he sat in front of a plate of French toast with orange sauce.

"This is just delicious Abigail. I didn't realize you cooked. It doesn't surprise me though everything you do is done beautifully." Thomas said as he picked up the paper.

"Well, I am more than a med student, you know?" I teased him.

He grunted behind the headlines finishing his breakfast before I did. Standing up he turned to me as though it was a second thought. He kissed the crown of my head.

"Thank you Abigail you are a wonder of a woman." He said rushing off.

My mind relayed what he had just said. Placing the accent on each word it was interpreted in many varied ways. The morning flew by we crossed each other's path so when the time of the appointment came nearer we were ready for this couple.

* * * * *

They were smiling as they entered the foyer it wasn't evident that Randy was blind. He was walking around speaking to Susan and then stopped turn towards us.

"Am I wrong or did you have French toast with orange sauce?" He was smiling with his hands in his pockets.

I glanced at Thomas he smiled shook his head with a little surprise, then motioned for us to sit down. Susan was close to Randy yet you couldn't see her helping him move around.

"Yes, matter of fact we did have French toast with orange sauce. You haven't changed Randy." Thomas spoke impressed.

Randy turned towards me and nodded his head just a little. I immediately liked him he was so happy. Susan was looking at his face with adoration. It was such a great way to start therapy.

"I have quit trying to find out how Randy does what he does." Laughed Susan.

We all took our seats while we were getting comfortable. Randy turned towards the window. He started to smile. When he smiled he was very handsome. My mind went with that thought wondering how he looked in the throes of passions. Lucky for me nobody noticed how I blushed.

"The sun always shines so beautifully here. The way it kisses the earth. It's phenomenal isn't it?" Randy said barely above a whisper.

We were captivated by him. I knew why Susan loved him as deeply as she did. Thomas as always was a little withdrawn. The grandfather's clock chimed ever so lightly.

"So Thomas how are you?" Randy spoke easily.

"Doing well I can see how you are doing. Susan is quite beautiful it's nice to finally meet her." Thomas spoke with a familiarity tone in his voice.

"Thank you Thomas that's nice to hear. Randy tells me all the time that I am beautiful I laugh. His eye sight affords him from seeing my laugh lines." Susan spoke timidly.

I sat there looking at the players. I tried not to make judgments on our patients but I seemed to be missing something they all knew. What was it precisely that was eluding me?

"Well, you got the doctor's report didn't you?" Randy said matter of fact.

His face was looking into Thomas' face. He had a smile on his face but not that broad smile. His face was without lines it was quite handsome. Then he sat forward and began the session.

* * * * *

His voice was fraught with pain. He was hurting from deep within as he spoke.

"I love Susan from the bottom of my heart. Don't you think I want to see? Don't you think I wanted to see my babies face? See her?" Randy spoke openly with tears running down his face.

Thomas sat there looking into this man's face. Quietly listening to him explore all the facets of the pain he was suffering.

"Randy you want to see I have no doubt in that. I also know there isn't a medical reason you cannot see. It's inside of you Randy to be able to see this world again." Thomas spoke firmly.

Once again I found myself amazed at the realization that was just spoken. Randy moved a little back away from Susan. His eyes looked into Thomas' face it was uncanny. I didn't have one doubt that he couldn't see. I had no doubts that he would resolve this. He just had too.

"Randy please understand this. We have done everything we ever will be able to do. It's in your hands, it's been in your hands since the initial diagnosis." Thomas

spoke calmly.

Randy looked away towards the sun coming thru the window. He was biting his lips determined to stay calm. Susan was sitting there speechless. I was in my own thoughts. Thomas was the only one that seemed to find this comfortable.

"I am aware of that diagnosis. Why? Why in the name of heaven would I choose to be blind? Thomas why would I sit here blind? Wouldn't that make me a sad and pathetic man?" Randy almost spit that out between clinched teeth.

"No." Thomas spoke quietly.

"I came here because my life seems to be circling the drain. I.. This is difficult to say.' Randy cleared his throat. "I am impotent its reaching into my life this...Last part of my being a man." Randy's voice was trembling.

Susan instinctively reached for his hand. He moved it out of her reach. It was impossible not to see that he was going thru his own hell.

"I told you Randy its okay." Susan said with compassion.

Randy stood up walking back towards the window. Susan's eyes were overflowing with unshed tears. Thomas fell quiet as did I. Randy turned towards us his shoulders sagging from this burden.

"Susan it's not okay with me. It's not okay to not be with you intimately. It's not something I will stand for." He shouted yet he was lovingly looking at her.

Susan took her hands and wiped her face. We watched his pain cross over his face. He placed his face close to the window then he threw his hands up. The screams were from his gut he bellowed fists hitting on the window sill.

"You aren't going to take one more thing from me. Do you hear me not one more thing! I loved you Leanna I always will. I will not be taken thru this hell. Not this time. I have the power to make this happen. Leave me! I love Susan she is the mother of my children. For heaven sake I am alive. I want to see the beauty of this world again. I want to look upon my Susan's face. I want to see my children's faces. Please....Please...." Randy fell upon his knee's as the last words echoed thru the room. Susan made a move towards Randy, Thomas' beckoned her to stay seated.

* * * * *

The marriage with Leanne was cut short with her diagnosis of uterine cancer. She had thought herself pregnant rushed home took the test. Seeing the results she ran to Randy's study. They rejoiced calling everybody nothing was what it seemed though.

She immediately started feeling ill even spotted. Friends told her to go to her doctor have something checked out. She had planned to go on that following Monday. They ended up in the ER and was told the out come was dire. She too was diagnosed with uterine cancer. It had taken four women in her family. Her fate was sealed. She fought gallantly, she lost her battle as the world came to life in the spring.

Randy was dealing with this when he was side swiped and ended up in the ER. His diagnosis was UBO Unidentifiable Bright Object. It was a catch all diagnosis after the tests were coming back negative. The physicians were stymied there wasn't a medical reason for this.

He tried some therapy for a while then left without telling anybody. He adapted to being unsighted very quickly. Making great strides in his life he met Susan in a place for Spouse without Partners. Susan made his life change rapidly. They had a wonderful life after all Susan's husband died in their marriage. When there wasn't a medical reason for him to have had a coronary.

They established themselves in a community that had raised families in peace for the past one hundred years. Randy made his presence known in the politics of their neighborhood. Nobody thought Randy was a hindrance for being unsighted.

Susan came home from work one afternoon announced they were going to be parents. It terrified Randy he became the protector. This pregnancy was uneventful and nine months to the day she delivered their son. As they laid him onto her stomach, Randy kissed his face the open mouth didn't bother him.

They repeated this twice more each one made Randy more anxious. His life was so wonderful so very wonderful. All except that he was blind. He was one happy man. Something he never thought he deserved. Something that might have caused him being blind to this day.

* * * * *

Susan broke the silence by clearing her throat. Randy stood up walked towards her placed his hands upon her shoulders. She leaned back wanting touches from him.

"Thomas I love this woman. I love my children I need to be able to see. I need to be able to make love with Susan. I can't lose that not after everything I have been denied." His voice was barely a whisper.

* * * * *

They left after a short time holding hands walking into the afternoon's sun. I was perplexed by what transpired in the session. A man not seeing because he was denying sight. I read about it. I studied it. This was my first patient to be confronted with."Abigail what did I tell you about Randy being capable? Having no sight he has accomplished everything else he sat out for his life." Thomas said.

I thought it sounded as though he was praising Randy's efforts to have a normal life.

"It's a telling thing that he came to us in the beginning of spring, don't you think?" Thomas was leading me towards something. I just had to wait.

"His loss of sight wasn't it in spring? His marrying Susan was it not in spring?

His returning to Kansas City on the wings of spring. He is coming back here for something he lost. He will be seeing he is ready." Thomas spoke with finality.