Let me tell you a little about myself. I'm now in my mid forties and have been married for twenty- odd years to my husband Andy. We have two now grown up children and we live in the south west of England. I have shoulder length hair, which is now in a sort of medium red- brown shade courtesy of regular trips to the hairdresser. However, over the years, I have had it various shades of blond, and auburn and even black for a while but that did not suit me and I hated it. If I had all the money that I have spent at the hairdressers, I would be a rich woman. I am pretty in a girl next-door sort of way. People say I have a nice smile and that my eyes and face light up when I laugh which is as often as possible.
I have always had to watch what I eat but have kept the weight off and remained slim and weigh about 135 lbs and am 5'5" tall. I have always liked to dress in such a way as to make the most of what I have and look as attractive and feminine as I can. I work full time in a high street office in a professional job (don't want to give too much away) and so get the chance to wear smart two-piece suits with above the knee skirts. When the sun comes out, I look nice in my short summer dresses and skirts. I love to look and feel sexy (which is most of the time) and have always enjoyed sex in all its forms but at the same time, I am quite a needy person who needs to be liked. That is why I really do care what readers think about me, and I love it when I get flattering and admiring email but equally hate it when I get critical and hurtful feedback. So if you do write to me please be nice! I am a sensitive soul.
I always wear nice lingerie and just the thought that it is there turns me on. Back when I was twenty I was very slim, probably too skinny really and my breasts were smaller too before I had had children. I am only about 34 inches now but back then I was sporting no more than 32 inches but they were very firm and pert. Rachel is not my real name of course although I do like it and it does suit me but I need to protect my anonymity if I am going to share all this intimate stuff about me.
I met my future husband Andy at the beginning of my second year at Bristol University. We were not on the same course and we just got talking at the bar in the students union. We clicked right from the word go and it was one of those situations where within half an hour you just knew that as a minimum we were going to be great friends and there was sexual chemistry between us from the outset. We became a couple pretty much immediately.
If I am honest, I have always been an exhibitionist-I was born like it although of course I did not know that it was a recognised disorder with a name until I was grown up. What I do know now is that it is a very strong compulsion that is very hard to overcome. I have always had a thing about enjoying taking my clothes off. I adore swimming in the nude in the sea although the opportunities for this in the UK are obviously very rare. Increasingly I discovered that I found brazenly exhibiting my body thrilling and I wanted more and more of this thrill of teasing blokes and even girls to be honest. Anyone will do! I just love being naked in public although sadly due to all the obvious reasons I have not actually done it that many times. They say there is a stripper inside every woman-well there definitely is inside this one.
I have always loved the feel of being naked and always loved running my hands over the cheeks of my bum and over my thighs and breasts. From a young age I have loved squeezing my thighs together when I am naked and feeling the sensation that I get of squeezing my pussy between them. I love the feeling of cool air around my fanny when I take my knickers off and the greatest delight is jumping into a cold swimming pool or a warm Jacuzzi stark naked. I love the freedom of nakedness and the complete lack of restriction through not wearing clothes. At home I prefer to parade around naked or semi naked as often as possible although I do not do this when the kids are about.
I have always wanted to take my clothes off in front of people and find it a real turn on. I just do not understand why most people are so worried and embarrassed about even a glimpse of their bodies being seen. If I am in a changing room at the gym the other women usually go to such lengths to keep covered up and not be seen even by other women whereas I love the excuse to parade around naked legitimately and dry myself without any shyness at all-quite the opposite actually. I would actually prefer it if changing rooms were mixed but I suspect not many women would agree with that.
When you read my story some of you may be shocked or appalled at some of the things I have done but I want you to know that I do not consider myself to be promiscuous or loose; I have not had that many sexual partners compared to what you hear is the norm for young people today. I have stayed married to my husband and been married only once and not so many people can say that nowadays can they? My condition, if you want to call it that, is that I am a compulsive exhibitionist-not a slut.
I need to have feelings for a man I have sex with. I do not believe in pure physical animal sex and get no pleasure from it. Ok I have broken this rule on a couple of occasions through being drunk or exhausted and tired but these experiences have only affirmed my beliefs. I do not like to simply have sex. I need to 'make love' to a guy with all the kissing, foreplay, emotions, and cuddling that goes with it.
Chapter 3. Strange Yearnings
One of my earliest memories of exhibitionism was when I was only about only eight years old. I hope the moderators do not panic at this point. Don't worry it is all perfectly young and innocent really. I remember it as if it were yesterday. I had gone to my auntie's who lived nearby to play with my male cousin who was the same age. My mother was at work and I remember it was a hot summer afternoon and my auntie was keen to sunbathe herself and had set us up with a paddling pool and hosepipe in the garden. I, of course, knew nothing about sexual urges at that age and did not understand what was driving me but I remember even at that young age wanting to get out of the stupid bikini I had been put in. I also remember wanting my cousin to take it off me but I suspect he was and remains 'normal' and you have to be pretty weird to want to be stripped off by someone else at age 8 but I am just being honest with you.
Anyway, I remember we were squirting each other with the hose and completely soaked and I decided that I would strip off and instead dry off with a large towel around me. Can you believe that I actually laid down on the grass giggling and dared my cousin to pull my bikini bottoms down? After a bit of persuading and a lot of giggling, he did too. I learnt then for the first time how unbelievably wonderful it felt to be undressed by another person. When I felt those briefs travelling down my legs I was hooked for life. To this day, I love the feeling of someone else pulling my panties down. I took my top off myself and that was the first amazing pleasurable experience I had being naked with an audience. My cousin thought it very funny. My cousin was very impressionable and in awe of me and followed suit.
I rolled around on the grass showing myself off giggling for a few minutes not understanding why it felt so interesting and not knowing that this was early sexual arousal. I then wrapped myself in a bath towel. I have always loved being naked in company with a massive towel around me and I can trace it back to this young age. This then led to me dancing wildly with this towel flying around and lifting up and falling off, and my cousin was doing the same, and we were laughing in hysterics. This inevitably led to us both abandoning the towels and dancing around completely starkers and laughing at the top of our voices. This disturbed my auntie who came to investigate and was shocked at what she found and I was immediately ordered sternly to get dressed, as was my cousin. I didn't think we were doing anything wrong and clearly there was nothing sexual but she seemed to think it was a big deal and told my mother and I never got invited back to play with my cousin which I thought was an overreaction. My cousin, of course remembers the incident perfectly well and often brings it up when we see each other.
Chapter 4. You Should Have been Riding The Same Trains As Me
Something else that sticks in my mind from my school days was when I took all my clothes off on a train. I am fast-forwarding to my fifth form and so I was aged about fifteen I suppose. I used to commute by train for about thirty minutes and for the early part of the journey I was with a group of friends but they all got off before me and I was always left to do the last fifteen minutes on my own. I do not know why but I became obsessed with the challenge and the dare to myself of taking all my clothes off between two stations. It used to be that there was a ten minute run between the third and second to last stations and every day I used to dream about whipping all my clothes off as the train pulled out of the station and getting them on again before it arrived at the penultimate station. I knew there was enough time; the issue was whether I could be sure I would not be caught in the act. This obsession went on for weeks until I had worked out my plan and was then inexorably drawn to execute it.
I can remember my school uniform so well. In the summer, it used to be a thin pink cotton dress with feint narrow white stripes. It used to fully button up from top to bottom at the front. In truth, I had grown two inches since I got this dress two years before but it was only worn in the summer term which was coming to an end so there was no point in buying a longer one. When I sat down the hem used to rise up obscenely above my mid thigh. I was always trying to tug it down in vain but as you can imagine I loved that dress.
In those days, some trains had lots of small individual compartments with a corridor down one side of the coach. At the rear of the train, they used to have the First Class compartments, which were always lightly used anyway and I decided I would do it in one of those. However, there still remained some risk but it was a risk I felt so drawn to take. The final piece of my plan was to make a hand written sign that the compartment was out of order and not in use. As I say, there were about sixteen compartments in each coach so they would not miss one and I chose almost the very last one at the rear of the train anyway. Each compartment had a sliding door to the corridor in the middle and a glass window each side. There were plastic roller blinds that could be pulled down on the two windows and the door to give privacy from the corridor. It is many years since such coaches were retired off but older readers in the UK may remember them. On the day in question as soon as the train pulled out of the station I pulled the three blinds down in my first class compartment and stuck my notice on the glass with sellotape such that it would be visible from the corridor. I was well prepared as you can see. I was so excited that I was finally going to do this thing and hoped that it would stop preying on my mind in the future when I had got it out of my system.
I was dressed, as usual, in the thin cotton dress and no tights so I was able to get that and my bra off in an instant. I could have got my panties off just as quick but I wanted to enjoy taking them down slowly. The seats were bench type so I laid myself out down the length of one side. I gathered up my dress and bra and put them up in the overhead luggage rack. It was important that I could not see them in order to be properly stripped off. The whole situation was so scary with the prospect that another passenger or the train guard could have opened the door at any moment that my arousal was immediate. I thrust my fingers into my pussy, which was sopping wet and pulled my panties down with my other hand. I drew my knees up and when my panties were just left over one foot and ankle I ceremoniously kicked them off onto the floor and went for gold in triumph. I reached down to sweep them under the seat out of sight. And so I was now naked as the day I was born with no clothes visible around me. God it felt so sexy. My free hand was now available to run over my nipples and stroke the side of my thighs and generally help arouse me. I spread my legs as wide as I could and put my hand between them and went to work on my firm and very reliable clitty. I was always good at bringing myself off but the circumstances this time were so erotic that a speedy conclusion was guaranteed and so there I was moaning away coming and stark naked in my very own railway carriage.
