Professor Tom

Tom Smith was relieved when the last student finally handed in their final. He gathered his belongings and quickly looked around the room to make sure he had gotten everything. The last day of class was actually a bittersweet day for him. He knew he wouldn't miss the late nights grading student papers, or the nights where he was just bone tired and felt as if he wouldn't make it through his entire lecture. He would however, miss the students. They kept him going and their energy made it all worthwhile. He sighed and flicked off the lights and walked out the door into the cool night air.

It was late at night and he heard crickets chirping in the background. It was dark with only the moonlight to guide his path. He'd always thought the university campus could use a little more lighting. It was still and quiet and he could hear the crunching of the leaves underneath his footsteps. He breathed in deeply and could smell the decay of the leaves, the wet earth and the freshly trimmed eucalyptus trees.

He began humming quietly. His car was parked quite a bit away from his classroom. He purposefully parked as far as he could. There were two benefits to doing so. It gave him a chance to exercise and to have peace and quiet in which he could think. He didn't often have quiet time. "Quiet time" was very difficult to find when you were busy raising two inquisitive rowdy children. Having a wife who was at home all day with two young inquisitive rowdy children, who waited for you so that she could finally have adult conversation, made it that much more impossible.

The college campus was huge. The rolling green hills, the beautiful forest, the small creeks and ponds that dotted the campus all reminded him of home, the place where he had been born.

Tom had been born in Spain. He grew up in a small town that was surrounded by beautiful forests. His father and mother owned one of the few restaurants in their small town. He fondly remembered playing in the forests with his cousins, running after rabbits, picking wild strawberries. His childhood was idyllic and peaceful, as could only be gained in a small town that only had one street signal.

The year he turned 13, for reasons unknown, his father decided it was time to move the family. Growing up he was never able to understand why his father would one day decide to uproot the entire family from a small town in Spain to Miami, Florida. Miami Beach of all places.

You can imagine, it wouldn't be hard to do, what the teenage years were like for a young boy from a small town in Spain, who landed in Miami Beach, Florida. You would be right. They weren't pretty.

He stuck out like a sore thumb. He was just different. He was fair skinned, well, to be accurate he was actually very pale, with dark eyes and straight black hair, in a world full of coppery, caramel colored skin, with tight kinky curls. He had an accent that was noticeably different, even in a land with so many other accents as was Miami Beach, Florida.

He had no siblings, no extended family, no one to help him navigate the world in which he was thrust. Enough to say it was horrid and tough. It's no small wonder that he was able to survive into adulthood and actually thrive no less.

It wasn't until he was an adult, a husband and a parent that he finally was able to understand, well, to get just a glimpse of perhaps why his father had made such a drastic decision.

Tom could imagine, but not forgive, that perhaps his father may have felt stifled in such a small town, with such a peaceful and idyllic life. We must remember that perhaps an idyllic life isn't all it's cracked up to be. He could imagine that perhaps his father hit middle age and thought to himself, "WHAT?! THIS IS IT?! THIS IS AS GOOD AS IT GETS?!"

Who knows, but perhaps his father thought that by moving to such a different world it would help. Unfortunately, it didn't. Once they landed in their new, but spectacularly foreign home, it didn't take but a year for his parents to divorce. His father returned to Spain shortly thereafter, but he and his mother stayed behind.

He convinced his mother that it would be unfair to once again uproot him when he had just started to fit in. He asked that she remain until he finished high school, and then he said, she could go back to Spain and he would go off to university. His mother never left even when he traveled cross country to attend university.

Tom knew in his heart that he would one day return to Spain. He just never counted on marrying, and having children while in the United States. It seemed as if each day it was getting harder and harder to ever return.

Upon graduating from high school, when he was forced to choose what he would do for the rest of his life, he picked cinema. That's what you do when you are forced to pick what you're going to do for the rest of your life when you're only 17. He chose to go to university across country, as far away from the foreign world in which he had been forced to land, also known as Miami Beach. He attended a well known film school in Southern California.

When he was done, he decided to go to law school. Yes, an unlikely transition, but it made sense to him. After all, did you really know what you wanted to do with the rest of your life when you were only 17? I didn't think so.

He loved the law. Well, he loved it to the extent he could teach it. He often said he didn't want to spend his entire life arguing with people for a living. After 12 year of a successful law practice, he was finally close to paying off the huge student loans he had acquired in law school. When that was paid off, he would devote the rest of his life to teaching. At least that's what he planned on doing.

He met his wife right before he finished law school. Tom was an avid tennis player. It was his second passion in life, teaching being the first. As a way to earn a living during law school, he coached tennis at the local tennis club. It allowed him to combine his two passions in life, teaching and tennis. It was there that he met his wife.

He remembered the first day he saw her. He was at the club, sitting on a bench resting after having finished playing a great game of tennis against his best friend, John. He turned to call out after John, who was going to get them drinks in the restaurant, when he saw her.

She was sitting quietly by herself at a table in the restaurant, next to the courts. His jaw literally dropped and he was immediately thunderstruck. She was absolutely stunning. She was wearing a little white tennis skirt, white sleeveless tank, and her silky blond hair was pulled back into a high ponytail. It seemed as if she had just finished playing a game herself, as her hair was still a bit damp, and she positively glowed. She had the most gorgeous green eyes he had ever seen.

He immediately got up to go talk to her, but by the time he left the courts, she had turned and walked out of the restaurant. He hesitated, was unsure if he would look like an idiot running out after her. Those few moments cost him a year, as when he finally made the decision to run out after her, she was long gone.

It took him over a year to run into her once again. Every time he would go to the tennis club he would silently pray that she would be there. He even asked about her, but it was hard when all you could say is, "she's a gorgeous blond wearing a white tennis skirt". All the women in the club pretty much looked like that. Weeks turned into months and he had almost given up hope when, once again, he saw her sitting at the same table he had first seen her so many months ago.

He didn't hesitate and immediately ran over to her to talk to her. After that first initial meeting he knew she was the one. She had been the first one to finally understand his quirky sense of humor. He made her roar with laughter the entire 4 hours they sat at the table talking. Both John, and her friend Gladys, were pointedly ignored and left the club after an hour of waiting for them to finish talking.

They were inseparable and married just a few months later. He was never happier and still smiled every time he thought of his wife. Fast forward 8 years and they were both now the proud parents of a 5 year old son, and an 18 month old baby boy.

As I mentioned before, as an adult Tom was now finally able to see a glimpse (albeit just a small one) of perhaps why his father made such a drastic decision so many years ago. He himself sometimes felt stifled, unsteady, and unsure. He sometimes wondered what exactly he was supposed to be doing with his life and if this was as good as it was going to get. Mind you, not enough to do something crazy like uproot his entire family to Quintana Roo, but just enough to Google where exactly Quintana Roo was located.

When he and his wife first decided to have children, they both agreed his wife would stay at home and raise their children. They both felt it was important they raise their own children, and not have a nanny or daycare do it. It was a great sacrifice they were both very willing and glad to make.

Although he was a very well paid attorney, living on one salary in Southern California is challenging. Yes, they lived in a beautiful home in the hills, had nice cars and took quiet vacations, but didn't live a glamorous life as one might imagine a well paid attorney might live. However, he and his wife never second guessed, never doubted their decision. Unfortunately, no one ever tells you about the sordid details that come along for the ride with the major decisions that you make about your life.

To be sure, it was difficult for him. He put in tremendous hours at work, as would be expected of an associate trying to make partner at a law firm. He enjoyed what he did and it gave him purpose. However, 12 hour days with people coming at you from all sides, the constant questions, the constant calls, the constant demands, and needs can take a toll.

Teaching gave him peace, but even that added more to his load. Students were quite needy at times and also constantly peppered him with their own questions, thoughts and demands.

Tom managed to keep up with the pace and demands with grace and aplomb for a few years. What he didn't count on was what would actually happen once the beautiful children he and his wife had dreamt of actually came into the picture.

Children provide us with love, humor, meaning and spirit. They also come with projectile vomiting, poopy diapers, exhausting sleepless nights and constant inquisitive questions about life. Keeping up is challenging and well worth it, but exhausting to be sure.

He had to hand it to his wife. She did it all with nobility, love, and no complaints. She kept their home immaculate, raised their children to be strong and self sufficient, and was a loving companion. His wife wasn't one of "those women" who once married, became hags who ran around in their pajamas all day.

His wife took great care and pride in keeping up with the latest fashion and trends. He could find no fault. He loved the fact that she cared enough about him to always look her best.

However, it was difficult for him to be the only source of adult companionship in his wife's life. As soon as he came home, his wife would breathe a sigh of relief and immediately pepper him with questions and needs. He was her only relief from a long day with the children. She expected him to be an active and caring participant in their children's lives. Every night and weekend, he took active part in baths, dinner, and homework, even though he felt he should be allowed to rest from the bone tiring days he had at work.

He never doubted that his wife's job was harder than his, but he would still have to fight the urge to quiet the voice that would want to scream out, "What do you mean you had a TOUGH DAY?! I WORK ALL DAY and you just stay home all day with the kids..."

He knew it was unfair to think that way, but it was still difficult to quiet that little voice in his head. He figured he was a stronger man than his father had been, and that is what kept him from jetting off to Quintana Roo. He and his wife would have dinner, take care of their children, put them to bed and then go to bed themselves.

Not having extended family around made it hard for them to have time for themselves. They had recently gone on their first vacation alone, without the children, since their honeymoon. After all the sacrifice he and his wife were making by having her stay at home with the kids, they didn't want to use any old random person as a babysitter. They were very selective and it made it that much more difficult for the both of them to have quiet time alone.

Don't get me wrong. Tom's life was good, stable, quiet and peaceful. My goodness, you might even be able to say it was idyllic to be sure. But remember what I said about an idyllic life, it isn't necessarily all it's cracked up to be.