Price of Past Miracles

Friday, May 13, 1977 was the evening Megan Richards was supposed to be flying home to L.A. from Northwestern University in Illinois. It was also the day Brad had flown home from The Air Force Academy in Colorado... the day Barbie had been convinced that his plane was going to crash from being struck by lightning! But Brad had heeded her warning and avoided the sudden storms that had hit Las Vegas...

Megan's mother had been very relieved when she called home to tell them that she didn't know when she'd be leaving because her flight had been delayed from departing O'Hare because more storms had been developing over the mountains. It was close to 1:00am in Chicago, not quite eleven o'clock in L.A. and her parents told her to let them know if she had to wait until morning to catch a flight.

Then her Dad advised her that Brad was home and urged her to call and talk to him. Megan wondered why, and her curiosity got the better of her, so she called and was a little nervous when she heard Tom's voice answer. Even though he'd never done anything to indicate that he wanted their relationship to change in any way, it still felt so strange to know that he was her father. She cleared her throat and then spoke quietly.

"Uncle... Tom... it's me, Megan. Is Brad there and can I speak to him?"

There was a brief pause and then his voice sounded the same as ever. "Hello, Megan! Yes, he's here. Hang on and I'll get him to the phone. Where are you, sweetie? Are you back in L.A. now?"

"Uh... no, I'm not. I'm still stuck at O'Hare. My flight's been delayed because of bad weather. I've talked to Mama and Daddy so they know, but Daddy told me I should call and talk to Brad. Do you have any idea why?"

There was another pause and she heard what sounded like a heavy sigh. "Yeah, sweetie, I know why your Dad wants you to talk to Brad. I'll go get him. It's good to hear from you, Megan... hang on..."

She closed her eyes as she thought she detected just a hint of sadness in his voice and she wondered why. She thought perhaps it might be due to whatever she was supposed to talk to Brad about... then she heard him on the line and she couldn't tell by the tone of his voice what he had to tell her.

"Hey, Meggie! Sorry to hear you're still stuck in Chicago! I had quite a trip home myself this afternoon... I'll tell you all about when you get home. But... I have something more important you need to hear." He paused and then asked, "Meg... have you talked to Jonnie at all since last Christmas?"

She tensed and stiffly replied that he'd tried to call her once, but she had given him the message that she never wanted to hear from him again and, as far as she knew, he'd gotten the message. Her angry tension started to turn to fear when she heard the tone of Brad's voice when he replied.

"Oh, Meggie... what exactly did your message say?"

She sucked in a breath. "Just that he was a lying, cheating bastard and I never wanted to hear from him again... Why?" she asked nervously.

"Oh, God, Meg..." he groaned. "We were wrong... I know that photo looked bad but we should've asked them to explain it instead of just automatically assuming they lied to us!" Brad continued to explain the whole story to her and that Barbie had forgiven him.

He couldn't see how Megan's face had paled and that she was leaning weakly against the side of the bank of pay phones. "Oh, shit, Brad... What am I gonna do?!!" she cried hoarsely, as tears filled her eyes.

"I don't know, Meggie. But you'd better figure it out quickly, because from what Barbie mentioned earlier, Jonnie's been seeing some model he's worked with off and on and she's the only person since you that's been able to get his attention. If you love him, Meg, you're gonna have to go after him... trust me. Guys have a lot of pride when it comes to being unjustly accused... that's why he didn't keep after you trying to figure out exactly what you were accusing him of! I hope things work out for you, Meggie... good luck!"

She hung up the phone and swallowed a wave of nausea that swept over her as she realized that the heartache she'd endured... that they'd all endured... could've been avoided if she and Brad had just trusted Jonnie and Barbie. How was she going to get through to Jonnie now? Would he even give her a chance again... why should he? She sure as hell didn't give him one! But she had to try...

Megan pulled a bunch of coins out of her purse and picked up the pay phone again to dial the North's residence in Brentwood Heights. She knew it was getting late, but she prayed they wouldn't be mad at her for calling and that Jonnie would agree to speak to her... After the third ring, she heard Barbara's voice answer.

"Aunt Barb... it's Megan. I hope you aren't mad at me for calling this late, but I need to speak to Jonnie! Is he there? Will he talk to me?!!" There were several seconds of silence, and then she heard Barbara's voice sounding uncharacteristically formal.

"Hello, Megan. I guess I'm not surprised to hear from you this late. Dawn had told me that Brad was coming home and that Barbie was finally going to explain the whole mess to him and I guess you've talked to him and figured out what went wrong. Even if Jonnie were here, I doubt he'd want to speak with you. You have no idea what my son has been through because of what you did! You hurt him, Megan... terribly! He's only recently started to seem like his old self again, so I don't know if it would be a good idea for you to contact him. The only way I'll help you is if you swear to me that the only reason you're trying to contact him is to beg his forgiveness!"

Megan was in tears and couldn't respond for several moments. Then she sniffed loudly and croaked, "I know I hurt him... and I know how badly he must feel, because I wanted to die when I thought... I'm sorry, Aunt Barb!" she cried into the phone. "I know I handled it badly now... and I can't believe I so easily distrusted him! I just want to tell him how sorry I am and I pray that he'll be able to forgive me!!!" she stated brokenly between sobs.

"Oh, Megan..." Barbara said soothingly. "I believe you, honey. You guys are still so young and it's hard to know how to handle situations that are so totally unexpected like that! It was partly Jonnie and Barbie's fault, too, for not telling you guys so you would've known it was a lie! But you and Brad should've told them why you were upset and things wouldn't have gone so far!" She paused as Megan sobbed into the phone again. "OK, honey... I'll tell you how to get in touch with Jonnie..."

Megan sniffled and wiped the tears from her eyes and then dug in her purse for a notepad and a pen to write down how to contact Jonnie. According to Barbara, he was on a location shoot in New York City and would be visiting with his uncles and grandparents while he was there. She got the addresses and phone numbers for them and the contact number for the modeling agency that he was on assignment for. She thanked Aunt Barb for the information before she hung up and then immediately headed for the airline ticket counter.

She exchanged her ticket to L.A. for a ticket to New York on a flight that was leaving at 7am. Then she called her parents and told them what she was doing and asked them to wire some money from her savings account to her in New York. She explained that she'd either be back in a day or two or whenever Jonnie came back... depending on whether he was ready to forgive her or not.

Late Saturday night, Megan was on a plane departing La Guardia airport headed for L.A.... sobbing her heart out on a very sympathetic shoulder, but it wasn't Jonnie's. Things had not gone well with him...

**********

As soon as she'd landed in New York Saturday morning, Megan had called her parents and found out the location of the Western Union office that they'd wire her money to as soon as the L.A. office opened. Then she'd called Jonnie's grandparents and they'd informed her that he was working most of the day on a photo shoot and that she'd need to call the modeling agency to find out where he was. It had taken until late that afternoon before someone at the agency had been able to tell her where to find him.

He'd been stunned to see her when she showed up at the photo shoot in front of The Met Saturday evening. She was standing off to the side, watching, admiring how handsome he looked in a tuxedo and feeling jealous at how good he and the gorgeous female model on his arm looked together. They looked just like a glamorous couple out for an evening in the Big Apple...

As soon as he'd spotted her, he lost all concentration on what he was supposed to be doing. The photographer got irritated and told everyone to take a break and then he'd taken Jonnie aside for a moment, presumably telling him to get his act back together. Megan watched the beautiful female model go up to Jonnie for a minute; he'd smiled at her and said something, kissed her cheek and then turned and made his way over to where she was standing.

"What are you doing here, Megan?" he'd asked dully, like he didn't care one way or the other that she had shown up.

"I... I... know what a mistake I made about that photo of you and Barbie. If I'd only known, Jonnie... I was just so shocked and I didn't want to believe it, but..." She paused and closed her eyes. Her heart was dropping into her stomach at the stoic expression on his face... like it didn't matter to him any more.

She swallowed nervously and continued. "I'm so sorry, Jonnie... you didn't deserve what I did... what I said. I lied... my feelings for you didn't die... but I buried them because I couldn't stand the pain I felt when I believed you had betrayed me and that I couldn't trust you... But I was wrong, and I needed to tell you that in the hope that you would understand and possibly be able to forgive me... Do you think you'll ever be able to forgive me, Jonnie?" she asked, her voice shaking as tears filled her eyes.

He took a deep breath and looked down and was silent for several moments until he looked back up at her with the same stoic look on his face. He shook his head a few times as he said, "I don't know, Megan. You see... I buried whatever I felt for you, too, because I couldn't stand the pain, and I don't know if I'll ever be able to trust you not to hurt me like that again."

When she started to speak, he put his hand up to stop her. "I know... part of this was my fault in the beginning for not telling you about our ruse. But you took it too far... you didn't even explain what it was you thought I had done and I had no clue because I never even gave that kiss between Barbie and me a second thought until I saw that damn photo!!! And then you wouldn't even talk to me when I called to explain... and I'm sure you remember the message you relayed to me!" The only emotion he was starting to display was anger; he turned away for a moment and composed himself again.

"That was the night I realized you never really trusted me. I'd only helped you start to trust yourself... your own feelings... about how I made you feel. But you didn't trust me, Megan... if you had, you'd have known that photo had to be a mistake and you'd have asked me to explain. Instead, you accused me of something I could never do to you... but that you'd already done to me. You've betrayed me, Megan, twice now... the first time was because of Brad and this time was because of a fucking photo."

He paused as she reached up to wipe away tears that were rolling down her cheeks. "I can't deal with this now. I'm working and this is too much of a distraction, so please... just go home, Megan. I'll contact you when or if I think I might be able to get past this."

He'd turned around and walked away, over to where the gorgeous female model had been standing, watching their entire exchange. She'd put her hand to his cheek and said something to which Jonnie had nodded and looked down, and Megan's gut had twisted when he pulled the model into his arms and hugged her with his head resting on her shoulder for a moment. Then Megan felt sick again when they parted and Jonnie briefly, but softly, kissed the girl before they turned and headed back to where they were supposed to be posing for photos.

Megan had choked back a sob and turned to blindly make her way through the crowd that had gathered on the sidewalk watching the photo shoot. She hailed a cab and told the driver to take her to La Guardia and sobbed the whole way there. When she arrived, she bought a ticket on the first available flight back to L.A., a red eye that would be departing just before midnight, so she found the quietest corner near the departure gate and sat with her back to everyone else and cried the entire time.

She had hoped she'd be all cried out before it would be time to board the flight over four hours later... but she just couldn't stop thinking about how she wished she had a time machine and could go back and fix how badly she'd screwed up. That thought gave her an idea for a song, so she sobered for a moment as she dug through her bag and pulled out her writing journal that she carried with her all the time and started scribbling as tears dripped onto the pages of her notebook.

Just as she was putting her notebook back in her bag, she heard the boarding announcement for her flight, so she composed herself the best she could, dug out her boarding pass and got up to move closer to the gate so she'd be nearby when her section was called. While she was waiting, she started noticing a nice looking older man who was eyeing her sympathetically; a frown creased his forehead, but he tried to smile reassuringly.

Megan did her best to ignore him, but something about his face seemed familiar and she kept glancing at him curiously every so often, also hoping to see if he'd lost interest... but he was still watching her. She turned away so she couldn't glance at him any more because she didn't want him to get the idea that she was interested in talking to him... she wasn't interested in talking to anyone. Except Jonnie...

Fresh tears filled her eyes and she choked back a sob as the image of him kissing that model popped into her head again. She moved to the counter at the gate when her row was called and wordlessly made her way onto the plane and found her seat. Then she was dismayed when she heard a man's voice behind her saying, "Well... it looks like you're stuck with me after all..." and she looked up to see the man who'd been watching her for the last twenty minutes.

It turned out that his seat was next to hers. Megan closed her eyes and frowned as she said, "I appreciate that you seem sympathetic to how upset I am, but please... don't ask if I want to talk about it because I don't!!! I don't need to figure out what went wrong... I already know! I screwed up... that's all there is to it, and now I just have to wait and hope that he'll forgive me... So, that's it... there's nothing more to say," she finished quietly as her lower lip trembled and tears filled her eyes again.

She looked down and kept trying to swallow the lumps in her throat as the man sat down next to her and put his seatbelt on as the stewardesses were doing the usual spiel about safety procedures in case of emergencies. As the plane was pushed back and then started to taxi away from the gate, the man put his fingers under her chin, lifted her face up and nudged her to look at him as he said softly, "Don't worry, Megan, whoever he is, he'll forgive you..."

She burst out sobbing and leaned her head against his shoulder, continuing to cry as the plane taxied into position for takeoff. It wasn't until several minutes later as they neared cruising altitude that Megan began to calm down and then suddenly realized that the man had known her name... She sat up and wiped her face as she stared at him and asked hesitantly, "How... do you know my name?"

He smiled genuinely and replied, "I kind of thought you wouldn't remember me. It's been a few years... I'm Sam Cole; I used to work for a record company that wanted to offer you a contract. I was the one who brought you to their attention and one of the people who met with you and your parents to discuss a deal. I was also the one most disappointed when you turned us down..." He stopped when he saw her eyes widen in recognition.

Megan took a deep breath and exhaled raggedly as she realized he hadn't been eyeing her with any ulterior motives in mind. He was just familiar with her talent and had recognized her even though it had been a few years since they'd met. She felt flattered that he still remembered her. "Wow, Mr. Cole... I can't believe you still remember me! That's quite a compliment!" Then she flushed when he praised her further.

"You're impossible to forget, Megan... a young girl as beautiful and talented as you. I certainly hope you don't plan on hiding your talent from the world forever. Have you given any further thought to a singing career?"

Megan told him all about her studies at Northwestern and how she was finding it difficult to decide in which direction she wanted to go. She still loved performing... acting and singing... but she was becoming just as passionate about writing and thoughts of directing. When she mentioned writing, he asked her what kind of writing she'd done and was impressed that she'd experimented with it all. Short stories, poems, song lyrics, and even a play that she'd also directed, for which she'd received a high grade and high praise when fellow students in her drama class performed it.

She'd called the play

Price of Past Miracles

... it had been all about the night her and Brad's relationship was revealed. But she never mentioned to anyone that it was autobiographical... they'd just thought it was a poignant, tragic love story. But it had been easy for her to write and direct because it was a story that had written itself and it was a piece of her life...

She'd also gotten a couple of poems and a song out of that episode! She'd been getting some ideas out of this mess with Jonnie, too, and she was still living the agony of it... And she didn't want to think about when or how it would end...

She and Sam talked during the whole flight back to L.A. He kindly did his best to keep the conversation focused on her career goals. He encouraged her to seriously consider pursuing an acting or singing career while she was still young and energetic... telling her she could always get back to her passion for writing or directing when she got tired of "living life in the limelight."

Megan learned from Sam that he had left the recording company he'd been working for to start up his own and he was still in the process of scouting out talent. He made her promise that if she did decide to pursue a singing career, that she'd come talk to him first... she promised him that she would.

Their flight landed in L.A. at about 2am Pacific Time, and Sam very kindly drove Megan home so she wouldn't have to call and wake her parents to come pick her up. As upset as she had been, she had completely forgotten to call and tell them that she was coming home.

She let herself into the house with her key and was quietly trying to make her way to her bedroom, when her Dad came rushing out of their bedroom at the end of the hall in his pajama bottoms with his gun in his hand. She jumped and gasped and he stopped abruptly.

"Megan... is that you?!! My God, sweetie... you should know better than to sneak around the house in the middle of the night! You know I'm a light sleeper and over twenty years as a Fed has made my nerves just a little jumpy!"

She squeaked, "I'm sorry, Daddy! I just haven't been thinking too clearly lately! I really have to figure out how to stop doing such stupid shit!" she cried as tears once again started to flow.

Her father came to her and wrapped his arms around her and held her as she cried quietly. She nuzzled her face against his solid, hairy chest, inhaling his familiar scent when she sniffled, and started to feel the same comfort she'd always known whenever he'd held her when she was upset. As she calmed down, she felt him loosening his strong arms from around her and she lifted her head to see him looking at her with a strange expression.