The Big Take
Nancy wasn't in school again next day. I didn't expect her. I kind of mooched and I guess I was giving out vibes because mostly no-one came near me. Then at lunchtime I was in the paper office by myself just, like, sitting, and Mandy came in. She said Nancy had said to tell me she didn't want to see me again and I sort of said no like I kind of expected that and she gave me this like screwed up paper bag thing said Nancy'd said to give it to me and I opened it and it was the little silk vest and I just spread it on the desk and looked at it and it felt so totally desolate.
After a bit I folded it up carefully and hunted out a bit of tissue paper that had come wrapped around some photos or something and a little box and I wrapped it in the tissue and put it in the box and I gave it back to Mandy.
"Look, could you maybe like keep it for her until she's not so angry any more?"
"Is that all?"
I sort of said like it's maybe for the best. I said about how I'd really just made trouble for Nancy in her family and also how my mom was having trouble at work and I wasn't sure whether she could handle it and now would Mandy please like go 'cause I was going to cry and I didn't want her to see... She just came up and like cuddled me and because I was sitting down I just came up to her shoulder and I buried my head in it and sobbed for like a long time.
When I was all cried out she said like "do you want her back?" - meaning Nancy - and I just said "yes." She said "ok" and went over to the door and then turned back and said "by the way I think you're brilliant" and walked out.
Tuesday Nancy wasn't in school in the morning either. Then at lunchtime I was outside sitting on a wall by myself just watching the people like I do and there was this like brown haired girl I didn't recognise at all in this really like grungy old sweatshirt and smart jeans walking in through the gates and like there was absolutely nothing patrician or designer or in about her at all and I was wondering what it would be like to be a girl at our school who couldn't afford to have the right clothes with the right labels and then suddenly I realised it was my sweatshirt and it was Nancy and I felt like the day change from grey to golden and I got up and went over and she saw me and I knew things were OK or even better.
After school she took me down the mall and bought me two nice sweatshirts and said they weren't presents and I wasn't to think they were presents they were just an exchange and I had to give her the one I was wearing as well as the one she'd already got on and I said why? and she said she'd swap me my jeans as well if she could but her hips wouldn't fit. I said bet they would but it would be tight and she got a new pair of good ones my size off the shelf and went into the changing room and they did sort-of fit. She went and paid for them and then she pulled me into the changing room and made me swap everything I was wearing with her but my underpants and sneakers (she didn't have anything on under the sweatshirt which kind of held us up a moment) and I was still saying why? She had to buy a belt 'cause the jeans which were like skin fitting over her butt and crotch were buckets loose at the waist and the guys in the shop are like thinking we're crazy. We walked out the shop with me wearing these flash new clothes which felt weird and her wearing my old grungy stuff and she gave me the shop bag with the designer jeans she had been wearing in and said could I drop them in at Mandy's and I said why? and she said 'cause she was going home to see her Dad and she wasn't wearing anything else 'till he'd welcomed me into her place.
I did go to Mandy's after work. Mandy looked strained and upset and I went to hug her but she wouldn't let me and wouldn't tell me what it was about. Her mom said nice things to me though, like I guess she approved of the OK about this breast thing speech.
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Nancy came in the next morning in my grungies. She didn't wear anything else that week. She couldn't get away in the evenings either, but she looked happier each passing day. The timetable had completely gone to pot by now and we were supposed to be just revising but we did some of our revising on human biology with special reference to reproduction, which neither of us were officially studying... we felt we had some lost time to make up and some bonds to re-establish. At one point when we were struggling sweatily in the props room with overtight jeans I said something about wishing I had been wearing a skirt and she laughed and after school we went down the mall and got her a little wrap-around ra-ra type thing her dad really wouldn't approve of. Sure enough the next day (Friday) she was wearing it and I asked what the reaction had been at the breakfast table and she said that it had been a little robust but not half as robust as it would have been if her dad had known what she was wearing under it so of course I had to have a feel up but I couldn't find anything at all for him to get excited about.
So you'll get the feeling that this was a good week for me and mostly it was. Except Mandy was sort of drifting around the school looking upset and not hanging out with us and like not talking much when we went over to try and be friendly; but quite often I'd catch her watching us (or just me when Nancy was doing something else) and she looked just so hurt.
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Friday evening after I got in from work I had two unexpected phone calls. The first was from my dad. He wanted to know what I would like for a present. There were two weird things about that. First is my dad knows from way back that the only present I'll take from him is a contribution to the cost of mom's anti-psychotics, and if he won't give us that I won't take anything, and second it was almost June and nowhere near Christmas or my birthday or anything. Second was from Nancy. She said would it be OK if she come over and stayed the weekend, like, not pretending to be at Mandy's but officially with me, and as mom had (for once) got the evening off I just handed the phone over and there was what sounded like a friendly conversation and the answer was yes.
So I was like keeping an eye out for her bike when this big dark coloured sports utility pulls up and Nancy's dad gets out and helps her out and waves goodbye and drives off and she's still wearing the same skirt and when she gets in and shuts the door it doesn't take long to ascertain that she's got the same nothing on under it and a couple of minutes later we're on my bed and we're actually fucking and carrying on this conversation at the same time and she's saying no, he's not cool about it and she's still wearing the sweatshirt (which also had nothing under it) but she's made him accept that she's going to do it anyway so he may as well know where she is as not, and I said good for her but I was glad my mom hadn't seen him and she said what are anti-psychotics and a light bulb kind of went on in my head and then she said no don't answer just now I need to concentrate and then she did her blazing golden thing and that pushed me over the edge too and we're collapsed in this sweaty sticky giggly heap and I'm explaining about the anti-psychotics and how we couldn't really afford them and how sometimes there wasn't really money to pay for food and she like says oh and mom bangs on the wall and says if we're finished would we like some coffee and we sort of giggle and straighten our clothes and Nancy nips to the bathroom and then we go and sit down and try to behave like adults.
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"OK, so what can I give you as a present?"