No One Rides for Free

Meanwhile, I was enjoying having Andrea in my tidy but rather cramped downtown apartment.

Unlike Raheem, I decided against cooking supper and decided to order pizza instead. I had spent all of law school single and didn't have the kind of smooth moves that he had. That said, I didn't need smooth moves as long as she let me keep making "purchases" on the slut card website. She rubbed my feet topless while I sat on the bed which was my main piece of furniture. I had my laptop open and was watching some random YouTube video. I can't remember what it was, because I was really only focused on her.

"How much for you to eat my pussy?" I asked.

"Hmm, let's say $100."

"I have a strap-on in my bedside table here," I said casually. "How much for me to fuck you with it?"

"How big is it?"

"Oh, that feels good. Keep rubbing right there," I said as she found a tender spot on the bridge of my foot. "It's not too big, medium-sized I'd say."

"Okay. Maybe $200?"

"How much for you to fuck me with it?"

"Oh, interesting. I'd do that for $50."

"I see," I said.

"How about this for a special package deal," Andrea said, still rubbing my feet as I lay back with my eyes closed. "I'll finger-bang you first, then eat your pussy, then I'll fuck you with the strap-on, and then as a bonus, I'll see if I can fist you. Package deal is for the low, low price of $250 dollars."

"Hmm. Sell me on it a little, since you're being such a good little retailer. Why should I spend my hard-earned money on this particular package?"

"My finger-bangs, to start with, are extremely well-reviewed. Yelp reviews give my hands four and a half stars. You've already seen how talented I am at foot rubs."

"I don't know. The skill required for foot rubs is entirely different."

"All right, tell you what: would you like a free sample? Let me show you just how good these hands are with a brief demonstration on your breasts."

"I never say no to a free sample,"

She smiled and gestured for me to sit forward. With a deft one-handed move behind my back, she had my bra unfastened in an instant. Then her hands were under my shirt, lifting the underwire away from my body and letting my bra dangle limply from its straps as she began teasingly running her fingertips across both of my tits at the same time.

"Now, you'll have to admit that this is a talented set of hands," she whispered, her face now incredibly close to mine. "Observe how they... cup your soft and... gorgeous tits. How they glide across the silky surface of your skin." She was beginning to breathe heavily.

I have a truly great set of tits. I say this without exaggeration. Even today, my breasts are big and well-shaped with enough weight to them that people can't resist cupping them and moving them around. When Andrea was touching them, and I was in my late twenties, they were just about perfect.

"Perhaps the customer would also like a preview of my oral abilities," she said after falling silent for a few blissful minutes wherein she teased my nipples gently with soft slow circular orbits. "After all, the package doesn't end with my hands."

"I suppose you're right," I said. "Let's see whether those lips are worth the exorbitant price you are charging." I leaned forwards to kiss her, but she turned with a coy smile and I caught her cheek.

"Oh, that isn't what I had in mind at all," she said, before suddenly forcing me backwards and wrestling my shirt over my head, blinding me and pinning me to the bed. With one hand pinning my shirt to the bed, she had me at her mercy, and she used the other hand and her mouth to enthusiastically assault my tits.

The soft teasing behaviour was over, and now she was mauling me. Her tongue lashed my left nipple while her fingers tweaked my right one. I writhed under her, but it felt incredible and I didn't want her to stop.

I stopped fighting her and let her have her way with me. It felt like it was never going to end. So, of course, that's when the pizza guy arrived.

* * *

The reason Raheem and I both remembered this particular supper in detail -- lentil soup and a big glass of whiskey and soda water for him, and pizza for me and Andrea -- is that this was the night of the famous online broadcast from Hitch CEO Daryl Pines.

I found out about it via a news alert on my phone. I later learned that Raheem did as well, and we both tuned in out of curiosity and joined in before Pines' big announcement and demonstration. The video was streaming live on a dozen different services, so it was easy to get access to.

It began with Daryl Pines jumping out of his fancy sports car. I don't know cars--is it a Mazdaratti? Is that a thing? Whatever. He was at a full run, and whoever was holding the camera had to whirl around as Pines passed and then the camera jiggled as he tried to keep up with the energetic CEO. "What's the clock?" He yelled to someone at the desk of the fancy-looking boutique store.

He was at the Hitch flagship store, a sort of showcase of hard-to-find items that Pines had assembled and wouldn't part with for currency. The only way to shop there was with the slut card. It looked a lot like an Apple store, all white with no sharp corners, just curved desks and tables and weird post-modern chairs.

"You have another two hours and fourty-three minutes, sir." Someone replied.

Pines slowed slightly, coming to a walk and turning back to the camera. "Okay, fine. That's..." He collected himself somewhat and addressed the camera in a more professional tone."I am so excited to be able to share this with all of you. Thank you all for joining me here at Hitch headquarters. I was planning on making a big announcement this week anyway, and this is just the right way to do it."

The news alert we had received was that Katrine Moody, who at the time had just starred in Titans IV: Demolition Speed, had tried to use a slut card and her number had come up.

The Titans movie franchise did not age well, and so it's hard to remember just what an enormous movie star Katrine Moody was. The whole announcement comes from a different time, so it might seem quaint to you, dear reader, but I promise that this was a big deal.

A movie star like Katrine Moody rarely even did a nude scene in a movie, back then. Moody herself had never done one. But you should understand that it wasn't merely about nudity. In those days, we simply didn't see famous people having sex. Sure, someone on the C-list would sometimes have a "leaked" sex tape in order to get media attention, but it was unheard-of to see someone like Katrine Moody get fucked on camera.

So this was a big story. People weren't just tuning in because they were horny, they tuned in because this was going to be the main thing anyone was talking about around water coolers for at least a week.

"Where should I do this? My office? Yes, let's go to my office." Pines said, and then began walking, shouting instructions at someone who was just off-camera "And have you called everyone on that list yet? We will be doing this on a first-come, first served basis. Invite only. I'm leaving the details in your hands, Bruce."

Pines' office had all-glass walls and a large white plastic-looking desk. He turned to the camera over his shoulder and again addressed the world.

"I see we now have over seventeen million live viewers, and I'm sure many more are just logging on now. Some of you haven't seen my office before, and some of you are investors who have been here in person." He got a creepy little smile and said "I wonder if there's anyone under my desk. Why don't you go and have a look?"

The camera began a slow walk around the room, which had every conceivable piece of douchebag CEO ephemera you could imagine. Those little clack-clack metal ball desk toy things? Yup. An orchid on an otherwise empty white coffee table? Yup. No computer, paper, calendar or fucking anything at all on his desk? You bet. And, as we watched the camera orbit the desk, we all see that there is a naked woman under it. Not Katrine Moody.

"Is there anyone?" The camera panned up, showing that Pines had taken off the sport jacket that he had been wearing and was throwing it carelessly over the back of one of the white pleather sofas. He still had on his polo shirt and his blue jeans, and a pair of Converse sneakers. "I should explain: we get a lot of beautiful women through the store, as everyone knows. I usually ask my staff to have someone waiting for me if there's a chance I'll be in the office. Come on out, darling."

The woman who stood up looked like a model. She was a white woman, thin with smallish tits and long straight hair. He gestured her over. "What's your name dear?"

"Pandora Branch," She said, striking a pose that showed off her lithe figure and smiling for the camera. She seemed to be enjoying herself.

"Why don't you get on your hands and knees again over here, please," he said to her with a complete expectation of obedience. You can untie my shoes for me. That's a good girl." He looked back at the camera. "You're getting a good look at her? She has a nice little ass, actually, so make sure you've got a good angle."

He wasn't wrong about her ass, she had wider hips and a bigger butt than most skinny girls do. Pandora began wordlessly working on the laces of his Converse sneakers as he ignored her.

"Now, the main event will begin shortly, and I can't tell you how excited I am. But first, I want to talk about the journey that has led me here." He stepped out of the left shoe as she held it. He kept his foot in the air, and Pandora realized he wanted her to pull his sock off as well.

"Hitch was a dream that I had years ago. It was supposed to be a three-in-one killer app. Wen I went to investors I said it was 'Uber, meets Tindr, but with the added connection to the new hot thing; the cannabis industry.' Our slogan was 'Gas, Grass or Ass.' I thought it would take off like a rocket. And I was totally wrong." His other shoe and sock were off now, so he gestured towards his belt as he kept talking in his rapid-fire CEO way.

"The idea was that instead of having to pay for a ride in an Uber with a credit card, you could instead choose to pay with pot or pay by performing a prearranged sexual favour. The app facilitated everything and... well... like I said, it didn't really take off."

Pandora undid his belt and then began pulling his jeans down. We learned that the CEO of a major company did not wear underpants, and had a medium-sized cock that was extremely rigid as he talked about his company's history. "That's good, sweetie, suck on it while we're waiting for them to bring up Katrine. But not too fast, just gently so that it stays nice and hard for Katrine."

"I didn't give up, though. I spend hours and days driving around with the app on. Some people used it, but mostly they just used the 'gas' option. That was the option to pay with money instead of weed or sex. Which just made my app a low-rent Uber clone. That wasn't at all what I wanted. I declined every offer of money, and still couldn't get anyone who would pay in weed or pussy. So I went back to the drawing board."

Pandora was licking his shaft slowly and gently, looking up at him. He barely seemed to notice, so engaged was he with the story of his own failure. It was clear that Pandora enjoyed sucking cock, though. I remember thinking she was too good at this to be an amateur. Had she really ended up there because she tried to use a slut card in the store? Or did his company just hire a porn star to stay under his desk all day, for marketing purposes? Pandora Branch doesn't sound like a real name, I thought.

"I tried a special promotion. For one week only, if you used the 'ass' option in the app, you had a chance of getting the whole ride for free. We'd pay the driver in cash and the passenger wouldn't have to do anything."

Now the possible porn star who was blowing him began pinching her own nipples and playing with her tits. She had the CEO's dick in her mouth and was doing the no-hands style of blowjob. She even turned her body ever so slightly so that the angle on her tits was improved. I was sure she had done this before.

She had a pretty face, too. Made me wish the windbag would just shut up and enjoy getting his dick sucked.

Across town from me, Raheem was watching the same show. He had finished his supper already, and was into his second big glass of whiskey and soda. "You should get one of these cards, T," he said. "You're a better cock sucker than she is."

T said "I applied. They turned me down; guess I'm too fat or too old or something."

"Seriously? Fuck this guy, then." Raheem got up to close the laptop but T stopped him because Katrine Moody was arriving in the office.

She really was a knock-out. She had soft, full lips and big expressive eyes which meant that every facial expression she made was somehow sultry. At this point, the look she was giving the camera was a mix of fear and embarrassment. Unlike the woman who was sucking Daryl Pines' dick, Katrine did not give us the sense that she was having any fun. The camera stayed on her face for a second, but then it panned down and the world saw every inch of Katrine Moody's naked body.

First her shoulders, slightly slumped forward but beautifully tanned a golden hue with no tan lines or blemishes.

Then, her small and slightly drooped breasts. They were a little asymmetrical, and pointed downwards more than I had been expecting. That's the thing about actresses back then, a lot of them had features that wouldn't look perfect on camera, but we didn't know because they could go a whole career without getting naked. She might have been embarrassed of her breasts when they were bare, but she always looked fantastic in a dress.

The merciless camera continued downwards; we had seen her flat and toned stomach in an number of two-piece swimsuits across various movies.

It was as good as ever.

Then her bush; it was blonde, and trimmed to a narrow strip, not much wider than a postage stamp. Her pussy was smooth, and her legs were the same fantastic legs that we had seen in magazines and film posters over the years.

The camera pulled back just as Daryl Pines reached out and began gently running his hand down the side of her neck. He let the other girl keep her lips wrapped around his dick for the time being, and had even stopped monologuing about his stupid company, which was a relief.

The more I stared at her slightly imperfect tits, and then at her eyes, the more I had warm feelings about Katrine Moody. Her tits were lovely, really. And if that's what was keeping her hidden away from us all this time, I wanted to tell her that she was beautiful, that she had nothing to be embarrassed about. I mean, it's easy for me to say that, because my tits are incredible. But I really felt for her, you know?

"Fucking hell, Katrine Moody," Pines said. "I can't fucking believe it. What are you thinking right now, Katrine?" He had a possessive hand on her shoulder now, and was staring right into her eyes. He was about thirty and had a terrible haircut, like so many tech CEOs do. Why can't billionaires get good haircuts?

It was true that she was contractually obligated to do whatever he wanted for a little bit less than three hours. On the other hand, he had just admitted that he had spent years of his life trying to convince someone to give him a blowjob in exchange for a ride to the airport. Of the two of them, Pines was the one wearing a polo shirt with his dick out. Pines was the one who looked ridiculous. Moody, beside him, looked like a goddess.

She seemed to see it too, at that moment. She straightened up and stared back at him. "I guess I'm thinking that I'm going to be late for my lunch meeting with Martin Scorsese."

"Not necessarily. A whole list of famous and wealthy people are getting phone calls right now, and they're rushing over here. He might be on the list, for all I know."

The realization hit her. Daryl Pines wasn't the only one who was going to be fucking her. She thought about it, then she shrugged. "You didn't seem like the kind of guy who could keep going for three hours," she said, trying to goad him.

He either didn't notice the jab or didn't care. His hand went to her left breast and he caressed it. "I got started without you, as you can see. Pandora here has me ready to go, but I realize now that it seems rude not to offer you a little something. You want her to lick your pussy or your asshole or something?"

"I'd take some lube, if you have it," Moody said. It was incredible how all of the fear and embarrassment had disappeared. She was now back to being a full-on movie star. She had the bearing of a queen.

"Howie! Get some lube for the lady." The CEO shouted, acting as if he was still the most important person in the room. Perhaps he thought he was. He licked his thumb and then began running it back and forth over her left nipple. "Out of curiosity, what were you trying to buy with your Hitch card?"

"You mean the slut card?"

There was a visible twitch on Pines' face. He obviously didn't like the fact that no one used his company's name when referring to the card.

"Downstairs, you have a sketch by a contemporary artist whose paintings I love." She smiled wistfully. "You shouldn't have set it at three hundred, by the way, even a sketch by him is worth at least fifty thousand dollars. His name is Colin Arville, and I expect his stuff will be in high demand in the next ten years."

"Would you have risked being here for more than three hours?" He asked, smiling as if he was a business genius whose evil scheme had paid off.

"Perhaps not." She conceded. An aide arrived near Moody with a pump-top lube bottle.

"You're right that the prices in the flagship store are all wrong. My people probably lost a few hundred grand on each item we have downstairs. A few hundred grand here and there is something I can afford. Do you know what is more valuable than a sketch by a contemporary artist?"

With perfect timing and poise, Moody accepted a few squirts of lube into her hand and, wordlessly, she sat down on the coffee table with her legs spread open and began rubbing it into her wide-open pussy. "This?"

"That's exactly right," the CEO said smarmily, and pulled his cock out Pandora's mouth. He watched Moody for a second as she lubed up her pussy, then impatiently walked over and shoved himself into her in one quick thrust.

Moody remained as impassive as ever, staring at the camera with the attitude of someone who could not be less concerned. Her mouth opened slightly with each time that he thrust vigorously into her pussy, but she didn't moan or seem to even breathe heavily.

Pines, meanwhile, had lost any of his CEO composure. He grabbed at her tits as he pounded in and out of her tight pussy. "God, Katrine, you have the best fucking pussy," he said. "I'm fucking Katrine motherfucking Moody," he said at another point. He was frantic, almost vibrating with excitement. The now-forgotten cock sucker, Pandora Branch, sat back and watched with something like awe. Her eyes, like ours, were on Katrine Moody and not Daryl Pines.

Then, at a moment when Pines had his eyes closed with concentration, Moody gazed over his shoulder and met Pandora's eyes.

Katrine Moody gave the other woman a perfect Hollywood-star glance. It was the sort of glance that was so full of meaning, as only a truly professional actor is capable of giving. The glance communicated both a sense of amusement and of resigned inevitability.

The things we do for art, she seemed to be saying.

It was both a wink to the camera and a reassurance that everything was going to be okay. That two second glance, reproduced in a thousand video clips, became a meme. People post that video of Katrine Moody now to signify "what're you gonna do" or similar ideas. Among young people today, the meme is more famous than Katrine Moody herself.