No Going Bac

Katie was obviously horrified by what had happened with Terri. With great disappointment, I realized there was not going to be a series of women who Katie was going to allow me to make love to. I tried not to show her how that frustrated me, but the experience had really gotten my fantasies in gear. Now I really wanted more, and I didn't know how to ask Katie without hurting her feelings.

It's not that the basic physical experience of sex with Katie wasn't beyond anything I had ever experienced. In fact, Katie had no restrictions on fantasies we could share with each other. After a brief period of verifying each other's limits, we had gone on to fantasies of bondage, domination/submission, and even rape. She was clearly not interested in moving beyond the fantasy stage, but the mind games definitely spiced up our love life.

To find new ideas for our fantasies, I got into some of the porn sites on the Internet. It was incredible to find that the fantasies I conceived myself were tame compared with what I found online. I joined some of the rather extreme Personals listings and corresponded with other people who were into some pretty rough stuff.

I found what I really enjoyed was adopting different personalities and becoming someone else entirely online. Over time, I presented myself as a man or even as a woman, and I pretended to be different ages, sometimes as young as 18. I think I was quite talented at getting others online really excited, imagining that I was there solely for their pleasure.

I also began to enjoy my experiences as both a dominant and as a submissive personality. It was great fun to find someone online who wanted to be told what to do sexually and to pretend to abuse them, actually giving them exactly what they wanted.

What surprised me though, and distressed me at least a bit, was how much I enjoyed playing the submissive to my online contacts. Whether I was writing to a man or a woman, it was intensely exciting to submit myself to their desires. In writing, online, I did things I would never have imagined doing for real. I couldn't help but wonder if there was something wrong with me, if maybe I actually wanted to do some of those things.

I took comfort in the fact that the online experiences were satisfying and seemed to be sufficient. I did, however, enjoy going to the adult bookstores once in a while, realizing that there might be strange and wicked things going on in some of the film booths. Once or twice, I had seen two men go into the same booth. I was always careful not to speak to anyone, but I did have some great orgasms in the booths as I watched the films and imagined what might be happening in the next cubicle.

It's stunning to realize how such a huge change in my life started with what seemed like such a small fantasy. One day, while reading about such adult bookstores in a man's magazine, I read about something called "glory holes." Apparently, in some of the really seedy places, men carve out holes in the thin walls between the cubicles. That way, totally anonymous oral sex can take place. The idea was fascinating. I thought about it often.

The magazine had a reference to an adult bookstore in the area that I'd never visited. It was in a neighborhood I wouldn't normally enter, but the thought that it might offer the chance to see some of the things I'd read about was too much to resist. Late one evening when Katie was out of town, I drove over to investigate.

It was as ugly a place as I had imagined. As I walked through the magazine and video section, I felt like I really didn't even want to touch anything. I kept eying the open passageway to the cubicles in the back and saw a number of men enter and leave. They didn't look too dangerous, so I finally got my courage up and walked back to the back of the store.

It was so dark in the hallway, I had to feel my way along the wall. I could hear videos playing behind most of the doors. I accidentally pushed on one door as I walked along, and the door swung partway open. "Hi, come on in," a voice said. "Oh, sorry," I muttered and quickly moved two doors along the wall. I entered and closed the door behind me. I searched for a lock on the door, but couldn't find one.

I pulled out several quarters, inserted them in the slot and the film began. As the screen partially lit the cubicle, I looked around and saw what I had imagined. There were actually holes on each wall to the adjoining cubicles. I couldn't believe it. The holes were at crotch height. What I had read about was true.

Crouching down, I slowly and quietly moved to look through one of the holes. In the next cubicle, I could see a man's legs. I could tell he was facing the other wall. I could see the hole on the other wall and suddenly, several fingers protruded through the hole and began to wiggle. I heard a zipper being pulled. Shifting to look up higher, I caught a brief glimpse of the man in the next cubicle pulling out his cock. It was long and already a bit erect. I shivered in shock and excitement at what I was seeing.

He turned toward the far wall and while I couldn't see, I knew he had put his cock into the hole in the wall. I saw him thrust his hips against the wall and hold himself there. As I watched, he moved his hips only slightly, but my imagination supplied all the drama. My own cock was now so hard, I couldn't help myself. I opened my pants and pulled it out. As I watched through the hole, I stroked myself. It was wonderful.

Soon, I saw the man clench his ass and push hard against the wall. After a moment, he pulled back, turned and I saw his cock. It was dripping a last few drops of cum. In my mind, I imagined the scene in the room beyond.

Almost ready to cum myself, I stood. As I turned, to my shock, I saw several fingers extended through the hole on the other side of my cubicle. I was so incredibly horny, I looked at the fingers, and I did the unthinkable. I stepped to the wall, took my hard cock, and placed it against the fingers in the hole. Several fingers wrapped around me, and I sighed. They stroked me until I was straining for release. Then, they began to pull my cock toward the hole. I couldn't resist. I leaned toward the wall and let my cock be drawn through the hole.

The wall was so thin, my entire cock and balls were pulled through. Standing there, excited beyond expectation, I waited for the warm wet mouth to envelope me. Instead, suddenly, I felt a strong hand wrap itself around my balls and begin to squeeze. The pain was overwhelming. I was totally helpless. The hand held me for what seemed like forever, but it must only have been a minute or two. I had time to think, but I couldn't imagine what to do. Screaming for help seemed like idiocy. I waited.

Finally, the door to my cubicle opened. "Well, well," a voice chuckled. "What have we here? It looks like a yuppie sightseer, come to the poor side of the tracks to have a thrill at how the underclass lives. What a shame. It's not what he expected, is it?"

I felt the man move behind me. A knife of some sort slit my back pants pocket and I felt my wallet pulled loose. I reached to stop him and he raised the knife to my throat. "Put your hands up on the wall. If you move them, I'll use this. Even better, maybe my friend in the next room will use his on you. That might be quite exciting."

Over the sound from the film on the screen, I could hear him going through my wallet. He finished and turned back to me. "So you wanted a thrill," he said. "We'll give you a thrill. Get down on your knees." I felt the hand release me and realized the man next door could hear all that was happening. Grateful for the end of the pain, I knelt on the floor. The sticky surface grabbed at my knees.

"You know what comes next," he said. "Do what you have to do and you can go. Don't make trouble and you won't get hurt."

"Please," I begged. "Don't make me do this. I've never done anything like this before. I can't do this!"

The knife scraped gently against my throat. I shut up and looked toward the hole in the wall. Just as I expected, I saw a cock extend through the wall, only inches from my face. It was limp, but long and thick. I'd never seen one up close like that, and it was frightening, but to my surprise, it was exciting. Reluctantly, I reached for it. It felt different touching it than it ever felt when I touched myself. I couldn't imagine why, but decided I'd figure that out later.

I ran my fingers along the shaft. The skin was soft, but as I touched it, it began to harden and lengthen. With fascination, I began to stroke it, trying to anticipate what I would have wanted done to my own cock. As it became impressively hard and got hotter and hotter in my hand, I realized if I could make him cum with my hand, this might all be over.

Realizing what I was trying to do, the man behind me slapped me on the side of the head. "Enough," he growled. "He's hard enough now. Do it!"

I hesitated and he placed the point of the knife at the back of my neck. With gently increasing pressure, he forced my face toward the cock protruding through the hole in the wall. With nowhere to go, my head moved forward until the large, hot cockhead touched my lips. I stopped long enough to feel the knife tip begin to dig in, then I opened my mouth and felt the thick cock slide across my tongue and into the back of my throat.

It was hotter than I would have imagined. It filled my mouth, puffing out my cheeks. My tongue searched for a place to be and I heard the man in the next room groan in pleasure. Finally my face bumped up against the wall, my mouth buried in the hole in the wall. I felt the man behind me lean against my head, so my mouth could not back away from the hole. As I knelt there unable to move, the cock in my mouth began to stroke in and out.

Involuntarily, my mouth began to water. The cock moved easily between my lips. I heard a zipper behind me and then I felt bare skin against the side of my face. The man had pulled out his own cock and was rubbing it against my cheek and ear. It quickly became hard and he started stroking it. For several minutes the assault continued. As I got used to the incredible fullness in my mouth, I found it possible to breathe each time he pulled out.

Finally, I felt the man on the other side of the wall increase the speed of his strokes. His cock was ramming into my mouth and I found myself starting to suck on each entering stroke. I heard his hands slap against the other side of the wall, his cock thrust deeply into my throat, and he held himself immobile. I felt his cock expand, and then it began to spew its load into me. Again and again it shot a thick stream of cum down my throat and I swallowed desperately, trying not to choke.

As drops of cum leaked out around my lips, the man behind me tensed, and then jets of cum leapt from his own cock. Most splashed against the wall, but some coated the side of my face and dripped down to my neck. The cock withdrew from my mouth, trailing a thin stream of sticky liquid that broke and dropped onto my chin. The man behind me wiped his cock on the side of my face and stepped back.

"Don't turn around," he said. I heard him drop my wallet on the floor. "I didn't take anything, so you don't have any reason to call the police. You just got what you came here for, so get up and leave quietly. Go on, get the hell out of here."

I stood up, trying to brush the sticky mess from my face and lips. I opened the door and stepped out. As I closed the door behind me, I heard him laugh, "Thanks, man. Cum again, anytime. See you soon." I left quickly vowing that he was one I would certainly never see again. I couldn't have been more wrong.