Navy Nurse

Diana was due in January, and during the applicable ultra sound appointment, she learned that her baby was female, and ergo a half sister to Laura who would be three and a half years older. She quipped to Dr McCord, "It's a good thing we agreed to an amicable visitation schedule so that our daughter will have some female influence in developing into a woman."

Once they knew the prospective child would be a girl, Dr McCord advised that they would name the baby, Heather and her full name would be Heather Anna McCord. The visitation schedule agreed to was that every second weekend Diana would have Heather, plus either the whole month of July or August as they would come to agree each year. In addition for the Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays they would alternate in hosting both households for the respective holiday celebration and dinner. There really was no acrimony in the negotiations, as Dr McCord and his partner acknowledged the benefits Heather would have in knowing and having a relationship with her birth mother.

Diana had no problem in allowing Dr McCord and his partner being the primary parents. In about two years time at the end of his current deployment, he will have twenty years completion in the Navy entitling him to a lifetime pension. He would leave the Navy then, and set up a private practice in San Diego. Thus, he and Michael O'Rourke would be able to provide a solid stable home environment for Heather. Whereas Diana was subject to the dictates of the Navy, whereby she would be relocated periodically either in the United States, or somewhere else in the world.

The agreed visitation schedule would apply whenever she resided in San Diego, but naturally would have to be adjusted whenever Diana found herself elsewhere. Such adjustment became necessary even before Heather was born. In the time during her work stint in ICU, Diana developed an interest in advancing her professional career to become a nurse anesthetist. So she applied to acquire qualifications to become a Certified Registered Nurse Anesthetist (CRNA). This involved in further academic education taught at the Uniformed Services University of the Health Sciences (USUHS) located in Bethesda, Maryland a suburb of Washington, DC. The education program would lead to acquiring a Doctorate Degree and would consist of fourteen months of classes from April to June of the following year. Thereafter there would be a twenty-two months internship of practical hospital training plus additional on-line classes making the program consist of three full years of hardcore study and training. The latter part of twenty-two months training would take place either back at Balboa or instead in Florida, depending on the Navy's needs. After which she would receive her certificate and degree, with the requirement to complete at least a six year deployment thereafter.

Just before her due date she received word that she was one of six, at Balboa whose applications into program were accepted. Neither Dr McCord nor his partner Michael O'Rourke were hard assess. They were prepared to make any reasonable accommodation, as they had bought in to the proposition that Heather would truly benefit of knowing her full roots, which would include her birth mother. Diana thought that while she was in Maryland, that she might fly in to San Diego every other month for most likely only a one day visit. The good doctor had no problem with that change of visitation plan so long as there was reasonable advance notice forthcoming.

In reality Diana got along splendidly with Dr Henry McCord and his partner Michael O'Rourke, who was a principal of a middle school. She respected the doctor's professional skills, and his general character. His partner was a fine gentleman as well, so Diana had no apprehension in the two of them raising her second daughter. The fact that there was no animosity between her and them, boded well for Heather to grow up with them in charge of her upbringing, but still adjust to sharing part of her life with Diana, her birth mother.

Diana's mother arrived for a ten days visit, a day before Diana's due date. Ethel and Dr McCord got along splendidly when they met. Ethel opined to Diana privately, "He sure would have made a great son-in-law, so its too bad he's gay. In any case I'm sure he'll be a great father to my granddaughter."

Diana's water broke on the day after her due date. So she had her mother drive her to the hospital, the first time she was to arrive as a patient instead of as a nurse on staff. Dr McCord was on duty so naturally he looked in on her as often as he could. Her labor was not as long as with Laura, only nine hours before Heather Anna entered into the world. She weighed in at eight and a half pounds or 3.586 kg. She scored ten on both apgar evaluations. Diana put Heather to her breast. She noted with regret it would be impractical for her to breast feed her new daughter, but at least it wouldn't hurt to breast feed her for the first week as she could pump her breasts and deliver bottles to Dr McCord as he lived not inordinately far away from her.

Dr McCord took Heather to his home two days after birth, and welcomed visits by Diana and Ethel for the remainder of her stay in San Diego. On two of the occasions Diana brought Laura along to meet her new half sister. During this time, Diana and the good doctor arranged for the logistics of Diana providing breast milk for delivery each day when she did not have custody of Heather. That way the baby would have a diet of breast milk until Diana had to depart for Maryland in April.

Considering the very heavy intensive academic demands Diana would be facing in pursuing her doctorate degree, and ultimately acquiring her CRNA qualification, Diana felt it might be too much of a burden to also take care of Laura as well. So she asked her mother if she would be willing to take care of Laura during the fourteen months she was studying at USUHS in Bethesda. Ethel replied, "Look honey I'm just two old."

Diana replied, "But Mom you're only fifty-three years old. There are lots of women your age that have children they're taking care of at their home."

"Yes but those children are teenagers that can generally fend for themselves requiring minimal adult supervision. Laura is still an infant really requiring twenty-four hours seven days per week attention. You're also aware that my position with GM is very stressful and hectic, which would leave me with little energy left to look after an infant child.

"Besides to state the obvious I'm in Michigan, and I understand you want to see Heather here in San Diego occasionally. I presume you would also want to see Laura as well, so how are you going to manage that?"

Without waiting for an answer, Ethel continued her objections, "Now if I were to agree to take Laura, I would certainly hire a nanny again. So instead of me having custody of Laura, why don't I hire a nanny for you in San Diego? That way you don't even have to give up this apartment which seems nice and cozy for your needs while you live here."

Diana answered, "Oh I don't know Mom. It was one thing when Astrid was the nanny since both you and I were in residence with her. I think I would feel uncomfortable knowing Laura would be in care of a stranger with virtually no oversight by me possible."

Ethel countered, "I have an idea. Why don't you contact your sister Abbie in LA? I understand you two have been together a couple of times since you've moved to San Diego. Maybe she would be willing to take Laura in while you're in Maryland. Obviously considering that LA and San Diego are fairly close, it would be much easier for you to see both of your daughters at the same time, in such a case."

Diana then agreed that it would be inconvenient for both her and her mother to have Ethel take care of Laura in Michigan, while she was away in Maryland. Likewise Diana's other sister Barbara would not be a practical option either, especially since she had recently given birth to a son. So she decided to get a hold of her eldest sister in LA and see if she would be willing it to take care of Laura. If Abbie was unwilling, Diana would have to decide whether she would have a nanny in San Diego to look after Laura, or to take her child with her to Bethesda after all.

When Diana moved to San Diego, she did contact her oldest sister Abbie, and the two of them did meet twice once in San Diego, and once in Abbie's residence in Santa Monica an adjacent municipality to Los Angeles proper, and nearby to Beverly Hills and Hollywood. During those meetings they were able to update their experiences. In Abbie's case, Diana learned that her sister had a rough time of it in trying to break into the movie and television industry. She did enroll in an acting class which gave her the chance to hire an agent willing to promote her. So far she had gotten a few appearances on various television commercials, and bit parts in one movie plus three television shows. To stay alive her main occupation was serving in a high class restaurant in Beverly Hills.

When Diana did call Abbie to ask if her sister would be willing to take care of Laura, she received a surprisingly welcome response. Abbie had replied, "You know Diana, not only would i be delighted to look after my niece, while you're gone, but I'm ready to leave LA as I see no realistic future here. So I wouldn't mind coming down to San Diego and staying at your apartment. In fact I'm willing to come this weekend if you'll have me."

Diana replied, "Well as you know my apartment is rather small, and has only two bedrooms. You will either have to sleep sharing the bed with Laura or sleep with me in the main bedroom. Of course I don't have much room left for you to store your belongings."

"Actually all I have really is the clothes on my back. I have always lived in furnished apartments as I didn't want to splurge on furniture until I hit the big time in show business. I saw no point in wasting money on cheap furniture, and there was no significant difference in rent between furnished and unfurnished apartments. So I'm pretty sure you have ample room for my clothes and some personal property that I do have."

"Well OK then, Abbie I'll see you Saturday."

Once Abbie arrived and arranged her personal belongings, the two sisters shared some wine as they settled on the living room couch. They thereupon took time to catch up on each other's lives. Diana had previously simply advised Abbie, via a text message that, she had been pregnant again as well as the fact that she gave birth to a second daughter merely two weeks previously. Since Diana had not mentioned the second child requiring attention, Abbie had assumed that this time her sister had given her second daughter up for adoption So she was truly fascinated at being formed of the actual circumstances of the birth of Heather Anna McCord. She exclaimed, "Hot damn sis! You sure as hell have had a peculiar way of getting pregnant and becoming a mother."

Diana admitted, "It's certainly unique, but I now do have two daughters without being married. One that I have sole exclusive custody, and the other I have generous visitation rights. In fact as I intend to fly to San Diego a few times while I'm in Maryland, to see not only Laura but Heather as well. So you'll have a chance to see both of your nieces."

"I look forward to it."

"So tell me about your life. I don't think you've not told me anything about what you've been doing for the past year or so."

Abbie took a deep breath as she recounted, "As you know I've not taken the Hollywood scene by storm. When I came out here when I was eighteen, I had the naïve belief that my beauty gave me an edge in getting into show business. I soon became aware that beautiful women in southern California trying to get into show business are a dime a dozen. Hell maybe a dime a gross is more accurate.

"I took acting classes which sorely cut into my income from waitressing. Of course, so did every other beautiful bimbo trying to get into the entertainment business. So again I had no edge there. I soon became aware of the 'casting couch'* (*air quotes) method of getting ahead in show business. That requires one to sleep with movie and television producers in order to obtain starring roles, or at least a speaking role in movies and television shows.

"You may recall a few years ago at the televised Oscar ceremonies in introducing the five nominees for best actress in a starring role, the announcer opined, 'that these five ladies are fortunate that they no longer have to be nice to Harvey Weinstein'. That of course was an inside joke in the industry, acknowledging the fact that this pig of a producer had a predilection for seducing actresses in exchange for a promise of a major role in an upcoming movie he would produce. When I saw this clip, I thought bitterly, 'Hell I did put out for him, but I got nothing much as a result'. In retrospect, I think my mistake was being compliant instead of resisting his advances. I think he got off in actually raping his victims, and then he had to make good in providing a substantial role to forestall unfavorable publicity or even a criminal lawsuit. Recently, his luck has run out and he's no longer a major force in Hollywood.

"Anyway a year ago, my agent advised that I try pornography. It would pay my bills and there still would be an opportunity to get into the mainstream movie and television industry. There have actually been some instances of such successful cases. So I've done quite a few what is so called 'scenes'* (*air quotes) involving all kinds of sexual acts. Plus I've been in a couple of full length porn movies."

Diana was shocked by that revelation. Given her own licentious past sexual behavior, she knew she could in no way be morally judgmental of her sister's decisions and actions. Nevertheless, she was dismayed by her sister's career choice as it seemed too depraved. As a result she thoughtfully replied, "Oh my God Abbie! Really? I know I'm not one who has any standing to be critical of perceived sexual depravity. Still what I've done is in accordance with what I'm willing to do, and what I expect to derive pleasure from. I imagine in pornography you are instructed to perform acts that you are not comfortable with, and you submit because you are paid for doing so. That to me seems ignoble, and necessarily saps one's own self esteem"

Abbie was not offended by Diana's seemingly harsh rebuke, as part of it struck a chord to her own sensibility. Thus, she replied, "I think you have hit the nail on the head, Diana. I readily welcomed your call to look after Laura, because it gave me an excuse to cancel the proposed next scene I was supposed to undertake. This involved me being with another women, and we were both to wear ordinary pair of panties, but otherwise naked. By partaking lots of liquids prior to the shooting of the scene, we were expected to pee a prodigious amount to thoroughly drench our panties. Then we were expected to remove our panties and exchange them. Then we were expected to squeeze out our partner's drenched panties into our own mouths, and drink up the resulting urine.

"I knew I sure as hell didn't want to do it, but I also knew that I would do it because of the money involved. So your call to ask me if I would look after Laura was like a splash of cold water to consider what I'm truly all about. I had developed an impression that I was absolutely worthless. I mean Diana, you may be considered by others to be even more sexually depraved than me considering the orgies you have participated in, but by the same token you're a registered nurse, and an officer of the United States Navy to boot. Even our sister Barbara who I might suggest has sexual proclivities beyond what is considered to be the norm, has still established a lifestyle that is accepted as commendable by societal dictates. As for me, my lifestyle has been abnormal and disgusting. I've no mitigation to defuse such cruel judgment."

Diana was disheartened by her sister's negative assessment of herself. So she offered a thoroughly optimistic viewpoint. Accordingly, Diana replied, "Unfortunately Abbie, I believe your true hindrance in self worth has been your undeniable beauty. Ever since you were born, everyone, and I do mean everyone, not just our parents, nor just the rest of our family, not even our friends and acquaintances, not even strangers for God's sakes, but so I do mean everyone have observed, and stated repeatedly that you are a most spectacularly good looking female. But that means you've formed the opinion that your beauty is the only attribute of your character. And intellectually nothing can be further from the truth.

"As I see it, you have now learned a useful lesson in that your beauty does not in of itself bring you gold. You have learned that there are lots of other beautiful women in this world so that if you want to best them you have to display something extra. Hell, I betcha even in pornography there are lots of other beautiful women vying for attention to ensure they stand out."

Abbie interjected, "I think you're right on the money Dianna, especially in the case of pornography. I admit there are lots of beautiful women doing porno scenes, but nothing really distinguishes each from the other, unless they have distinguishing tats that can capture the viewer's mind to remember them. I have no such tats, so I have to rely on my unique moniker. I have adopted the name 'Penny Dreadful' as a clever parody."

Diana laughed and exclaimed, "Penny Dreadful? Really Abbie? How dreadful if you pardon the pun! How in the world did you come to choose such an unusual name for your porno career?"

Abbie explained, "One of the bit parts I did do in a legitimate television show was the American-British series titled 'Penny Dreadful'. Apparently the title of the series does not represent the name of a character in the show. Instead, it refers to a type of 19th-century British published stories containing lurid and sensational subject matter. They were called the penny dreadfuls because those stories sold for a penny. The TV series draws upon many public domain characters from 19th-century British and Irish gothic fiction. However, I thought that it would have been a cool name for a female character.

"I actually had two parts in the show. In one scene I was strutting totally naked in a huge room where it was depicted that a bi sexual orgy was taking place at the home of Dorian Gray, one of the main characters in the series. In another scene I actually had a small speaking part portraying as a nanny to a preteen girl who was engaged in a conversation with the main female character named Vanessa Ives. My one line was to exhort the little girl to stop the conversation and come with me, and the scene ended as the girl complied with my demand. I obviously didn't get paid much, but at least I was treated to an all expense paid trip to Ireland, where the series was shot.

"So to reiterate Diana, I'm aware that I'm at the crossroads of my life, and I now know that I want to be more relevant as a person. At the very minimum I want to be a useful person. In that regard, taking care of your daughter while you're away to becoming a nurse anesthetist has to be by definition an example of me being a useful person."

Diana responded, "So I take it you're going get out of the porno scene, and even give up your dream of becoming a movie star?"

"Yes that's right. I definitely want to quit doing porn. I know it has damaged my self esteem and robbed me of truly enjoying life. Doing sex scenes was OK, and most of it was kind of fun. However, what I couldn't abide was the disdain, I encountered from people who knew what I was doing. The film crew and the directors of the scenes had no problem in constantly telling me that I'm just a piece of shit. Any spoken dialogue I had to utter in filming the scenes or a full length porno movie consisted of proclamations that my character was a slut, a cum bucket and other such demeaning expressions.