Mystical Trash

Winter approached. By early November Jahil had contracted pneumonia. He had and intense fever and a horrible cough. He had tried to keep going to work, but that day he had collapsed on his way to his truck. After school my mother was in her bedroom grading papers, and Austin had gone to the gym. I pulled down a few of my mother's notebooks for a recipe that would help Jahil. I found a recipe for a broth made with root vegetables, small amounts of toxic flowers and lots of salt. I had seen my mother make it once for a neighbor with a sick baby. But when my mother made it, the liquid sparkled; the steam rose up in waves that felt like electricity.

When I made it, the liquid was black and tasted like tar.

Austin appeared behind me covered in sweat. He yanked the book out of my hands. "Wow, you really can't cook."

"Hey, give that back!"

Austin raised his hand creating a pink transparent force field around himself.

When I kicked the force-field my foot made a clanging sound, as if kicking a car door.

"You can be such a pain in the ass," Austin muttered. He fixed the broth by simply waving his hand over the small pot.

"Shouldn't you be out working on your abs?"

Austin glared at me. "Look at the clock- I've been gone for over an hour!" He put the broth in a mug. "Go make yourself useful and order us a pizza."

"It's not my fault I don't have magic," I cried.

Austin sighed. "Yes it is."

"What's that supposed to mean? I don't have magic because I wasn't born with magic!"

Austin shook his head, rubbing his temples. "How blind can you be? I know you've touched him! I know you've seen the golden energy!"

I followed him down the hall. "How blind can YOU be? You were the one who let Elena feed on him!"

Austin punched the wall "Shut up Sunny! Just shut up!"

I could hear my mother's voice. "Austin baby, are you okay?"

Austin stomped off in the direction of her bedroom.

"Don't cry," my mother said. "Take your clothes off and let your sugar mama make everything alright."

This is such bullshit. I made my way to the living room. Jahil was sitting up, on the sofa. The mug was in front of him, along with five pills. "Do me a favor and flush those down the toilet."

I recognized the pills as a certain illegal street drug. "Did Austin give them to you?"

Jahil leaned back, taking the cup. "His intentions were good, I just don't want them." Jahil took a sip of the broth. He struggled to swallow but managed to get a few sips down before going into a coughing fit.

I took the cup from him. "Relax, lay back all the way." I put a pillow under his head as he lay on the sofa. I unbuttoned his dark blue work shirt, revealing his dark muscular chest. I caressed my lips to his. But there were no sparkles of energy, not a single one. "Damn it, this is the fifth day in a row! It can't be all gone!"

Jahil stopped me. He motioned for me to lie on his chest. "Sunny, I will forever be grateful for your kindness."

* * *

The day after thanksgiving Elena awoke laughing. Instead of going to work she tossed Austin her keys and started to walk down the road in the direction of the movie theatre. "Austin, what's wrong with my mother?"

Austin unlocked the minivan to drive us to school. "Something I've only read about: she's overdosing on red magic. I have no idea what's going to happen but we can only hope she comes out of it."

"Comes out of it?" Jahil's magic had transformed her. There was no way she was simply coming out of it.

Austin opened the passenger door for me. "No matter what happens, we need to protect our parents. I know a lot more about magic then you do, which is still not very much. But I need to know that you trust me."

I could hear the fear in his voice. Something bad was going to happen, in the immediate future. "Jahil told me your mother was psychic, are you?"

Austin turned on the ignition and backed out of the driveway. "Why did he tell you that?"

"I don't know! He just kind of volunteered the information. It was something special about her."

Austin sighed, "It's also the reason she's dead."

As he pulled into traffic Austin changed the subject. "You know Sunny I thought you were the one. But if you can't figure out how to save my father, he was never meant to be yours."

I did love Jahil, and in my heart I knew what he was talking about.

* * *

That night we all ate dinner in silence. My mom had somehow made it back from the movies and ordered Chinese take-out. She sat on Austin's lap eating noodles out of a paper box as they watched television. I motioned for Jahil to come to my room "I need your help; I don't know what to do. I need to understand, what's wrong with my mother."

Jahil wore a heavy winter coat that formerly belonged to my father. "Sunny, do you know what a succubus is?"

I motioned for him to take a seat on my bed. "I know she's been feeding on you."

"She has, but her cravings are not fully to blame for my current condition. There was an accident at work- a rig collapsed crushing my chest. I used my powers to get out from under the car. But the pain, with my cough it's even worse. That's why my healing energy has been disappearing at such a rapid rate."

I placed my hand on his thigh, even through his jeans I could feel the muscles of his leg were in spasm. "Lay down Jahil, just relax." I undid his belt opening his jeans. I lowered them to caress his thigh.

I knew what I had to do. I had to treat him myself. As long as my mother stopped feeding on him his body could have a chance to heal. I focused on his scars, I kissed his inner thigh. Once then twice- I began to suck on his skin, as if trying to leave a bruise. I could hear him moaning. I could feel his hand grasping at my hair: I needed to go further.

Sitting up, I started to undress, taking off my jacket and my shirt. "This is what you need, right? This is what will save you." I held his face to my chest, rocking him in my arms. "Please Jahil, I need you."

Jahil looked up at me. "Do you need me or do you love me?"

In that moment I was unable to look him in the eyes. "What's the difference?"

Jahil removed his body from my embrace. "You once told me you had a relationship with a childhood friend. Did you ever tell that boy you loved him?

I felt tears rolling down my cheeks. "No, I never did."

"Will you tell me the story?"

"You want to know the story of my ex?"

"I want to know the story of the man who holds your heart."

* * *

Once upon a time, or some shit, I had a best friend Anthony "Tony" Keller. My handsome prince took after his Greek mother, with his olive skin tone, dark brown hair, and his dreamy, soulful eyes. He was beautiful, but the first thing people tended to notice was the fact he had prosthetic legs.

I had known him ever since kindergarten. On the first day of school my mother made it a point to introduce me to him. He was very shy and, at the time, walked with crutches. At first I assumed Tony's shyness was due to him being self conscious about his appearance. Then one day I learned the truth: his daddy took sick pleasure in beating him.

Tony had been born premature. He had special medicine to take several times a day from the nurse. All throughout elementary school I was allowed to accompany him. We would talk about cartoons, or how much we hated certain teachers. I would try to ignore the way his body trembled, or how he couldn't sit down without flinching in pain.

I will always remember the day I finally confronted him- we were ten, about to graduate, when he came to school with a massive bruise on his neck. During our walk he explained to me that his father had tried to choke him.

"Tony, why does he hurt you?"

Tony made his way to a nearby bench before answering. "Because I was born without legs, and mama can't give him any more babies. So when he gets mad or drinks too much..."

I gave him a hug, making sure to be gentle. "We don't have to talk about it, but we do have to tell an adult."

I asked him to wait with me at the parent pick up bench after school. There my mother saw what I saw. "Oh my God Sunny, did he at least have anything to eat?"

Tony shook his head. "My Mama didn't pack me a lunch. My Papa beat her so hard last night her eyes were swollen shut. I had to walk to school."

Elena grabbed his hand. "I'm taking you down to the police station."

"No, please. I can't leave my Mama. I'll be okay, I promise."

Elena kissed his forehead. "You're a brave little boy. I'm going to make you something special so at least you won't go hungry."

For the remainder of the semester and all throughout junior high my mother gave me some special milk to give to him. The potion my mother created allowed him to grow strong and athletic, despite his medical issues.

Freshman year of High School I started to refer to him as my boyfriend. We talked about sci-fi and anime but also Frida Kahlo and Vincent van Gogh. He loved to draw all manner of landscapes, and characters. On the outside, Tony appeared confident and strong. But on hot Midwestern days, when he wore a short-sleeved shirt my eyes would go straight to his wrists. I among the horrible bruising I could see straight lines. I knew Tony was cutting himself.

October 11, 2014, Tony was my first kiss. I was watching him from the bleachers during soccer practice while drinking a coke.

Tony was one of the greatest soccer players the school had ever seen. Yes, I said soccer. The experimental robotic technology of his legs, designed by his mother, a professor of engineering at the university. They connected directly to his nervous system. Tony could run, he could kick, and he could even execute awesome flying jump kicks.

Tony took a break to sit beside me. I handed him a can of Coke from my Pokémon lunch box. We held hands for a while, looking out over the field.

Tony put his arm around my shoulder, to ask if I was going to the Halloween dance. It was so sweet. I was like, "Are you asking me on a date?"

And he was like, "What are you talking about Sunny? We've been on lots of dates."

I said, "I mean real dates, dates that end with a goodnight kiss."That comment made Tony blush. I traced my tongue along his lower lip to coax his mouth open. Tony closed his eyes as our lips touched softly. I gently bit his lower lip then stuck my tongue in his mouth. I could feel him put his arms around my waist as I ran my fingers through his hair. I wanted so badly to touch his body. I reached my hand under his shirt, touching the skin of his back.

That was when he filched in pain. I could feel scars, cuts even blood. "Tony, please show me. I can get you help."

"Not out here," he whispered.

We went to the unisex restroom and locked the door. That was when he finally took off his shirt. I could see bruising, lacerations possible broken bones. I was surprised he could even play soccer in his condition. "When did it get this bad?" I asked.

Tony looked at me with his innocent eyes. He swallowed hard and replied in a soft breath, "It's always been this bad."

I told my mother what I saw. Tony's life was in danger. She tried to go to the police, but Tony's father blocked her. The bastard had friends in very high places.

So instead my mother hid a copy of our house key for Tony inside of a fake plant. Our house would always be a safe place where he could get a hot meal and have place to sleep.

May 4, 2015 Tony came to my house with a broken arm. That was when he told me he was bisexual. He liked me but he was also hooking up with older men. I agreed to remain friends with him, especially when he told me the story of how he broke his arm.

He had dated several men from the mattress factory where his redneck father Keith worked as foreman. These were big football watching, beer drinking men who would certainly never admit to receiving a blow job from a fifteen year-old boy. But if they did, the relationship would be very one sided. Tony was nothing more than a cum dumpster.

One day one of the men said it to Keith's face. I imagine it was something vulgar like, "Your little girl sure has a talent for sucking cock."

When Tony came home Keith grabbed the boy by his throat as Tony's mother Maria screamed. He dragged Tony to the basement, throwing him down the stairs. He put Tony's arm in a vice and cranked it shut. He removed Tony's prosthetics, to prevent any possibility of escape. Then he turned on a power drill. Tony cried, out of panic and fear, but he didn't even bother to beg for his life.

There was a loud bang, Keith fell to his knees. Maria had located one of Keith's shot guns and shot her husband in the leg. She kept the weapon trained on Keith as she freed her son.

She carried Tony up the stairs. Maria took Keith's truck keys, and loaded Tony's body in to the passenger seat to get him to a hospital.

From the hospital she was given a contact at a battered women's shelter where she and Tony could stay while she started the divorce proceedings.

My mother made Tony some broth to sooth his stomach, and prepared the sofa for him to sleep. She even kissed him goodnight. "Help yourself to any food. There are extra pillows and blankets in the hallway closet."

"Would you like me to stay with you?" I asked, as I sat on his lap in my unicorn pajamas.

Tony took my hand cuddling it like a stuffed animal. "Your hands are so soft and soothing. You're going to be a wonderful mother someday." His language was creepy to say the least. I should have taken it as a sign.

I went to bed, shutting off the lights and crawling under the covers. A few hours later I awoke to a crash. The noise had come from the bathroom. "Tony!" I screamed. The door was locked. I banged on my mother's bedroom door. "Mom wake up, I think Tony's hurt!"

My mother kicked in the door. By the light of the bathroom window I could see Tony had taken one of my mother's lipsticks and written the words, "I'm sorry" across the now broken mirror.

Tony was sitting in the bathtub. I could hear his breath trembling. "I'm sorry Sunny."

He laid in a bath surrounded by darkness, so in my curiosity I went to turn on the lights. And I screamed. Tony had stabbed himself in the upper chest, nearly to his throat.

My mother was crying. "Why, oh god, why?"

Tony's mouth was filling with blood. "A few weeks ago I went to the hospital for yet another staph infection. It turns out I'm in the early stages of HIV." He started to laugh, looking up at the ceiling. "I came here tonight because this is where I wanted to die."

I grabbed the house phone and dialed 911. Tony's eyes looked at me like a lifeless doll. "I love you Sunny," he said as he lifted his arm ever so slightly. "Will you please hold me?"

Tony survived, but sometimes I wonder if it would have been better if he hadn't. Over the summer, while the divorce settlement was being finalized. Tony switched from cutting to pills.

August 11, 2015, Tony met up with me after school at Taco John's, very hungover and with quite a story to tell.

Three days prior, Tony and his mother were still living in the shelter when she was hit by a car on her way to work- fracturing her spine. The driver sped away. Luckily the next pedestrian, a university student on a bike, helped her to the curb. That part I knew. Tony had been pulled from class and escorted to the hospital.

"That was where I met her..." he said, blushing, "She had blue hair and facial piercings; like nothing I had ever seen.

"What?" I asked. I was becoming uncomfortable.

But Tony continued talking. "I told her I was still in high school. But it didn't matter, we talked about our love of art, all the classic painters."

"And you legs?" I asked, a little ruder then I should have.

"Yeah," he answered, "She said I was as rare creature; a cultured Midwestern boy who's part robot. QRC said she wanted to take me to a party, introduce me to her crew." I assumed QRC stood for those square shaped coded but that was not the case. "Quiet- Rocker- Chick," Tony said with the biggest smile. Cleary he met a girl who was both his crush and his hero.

As his mother still lay in the hospital QRC took him to a party by the river. That was where he met Alicia: a girl with long red hair the color of fire and arms covered in tattoos of forest animals. Or spirits, as QRC told him. Alicia smoked weed by a bonfire while shouting poetry, a certain stanza Tony was more than happy to recite for me. "Bring me your tall dark and handsome your sexual beings yearning to break free."

I rolled my eyes.

Tony closed his eyes as if recalling a beautiful dream. "She said, 'They call me butterfly, why? Because I get high- and I can get you high- Can you dig it?' And that was when I was presented to her; a gift to the Goddess."

I grabbed his wrist. "I need to get you home; clearly you are in no condition to be out in public."

"I'm not kidding. Alicia is a creature not of this world," he said. With his eyes still close he was reaching for my hand. "She asked how old I was. I said, 'Sixteen.' That was when she invited me to her trailer. I told her I had HIV. That was when things got strange."

"Strange?" I asked. "Like pills and needles strange?"

"Nah, she..." He looked at me, as if for a moment he forgot that I was the daughter of a witch. "Alicia did a back flip transforming into a cat with no tail. The cat jumped into the air changing into a butterfly with three wings. And finally back to her human form."

If he had ended the story there I would have been ok. We might have been able to remain friends. But he had to go and add one last piece of information.

"Then Alicia said, 'I don't contract human STDs,' so I followed her to her trailer, we smoked for a while. One thing led to another..."

I preemptively hurled my cheese-covered tater tots at his face. "You slept with her?"

"She was a little scary," Tony's voice went quiet. "I kind of felt like I had to."

I was too enraged to listen. "Tony, you cheated on me!" I screamed. The whole restaurant was staring but I didn't care. "You said you were into men!"

"No, I told you I was bisexual," he said as if that would help his case.

"So you're into women just not into me?" I asked. There was nothing he could have said that would not have resulted in me storming out in tears.

Tony looked at me with his puppy dog eyes, the eyes of the little legless five-year-old. He said, in a voice choke with tears, "I love you Sunny."

I flipped my entire tray of food on him and stomped out the door. "Fuck you! You are a horrible person! A terrible friend! I should have let you die!"

He said nothing. So I walked home, crying until I had no more tears to cry.

August 12, 2015, I located Tony in the hallway. I slammed him into a row of lockers and kissed his lips. Pressing my lips to his ear I whispered, "My house after school." In my mind, I planned on losing my virginity to him. We would use a condom, and when the deed was done he would be mine again.

Tony was shivering. "I-I don't know."

"Let me see your wrists," I said, grabbing him as hard as I could. Tony fell to his knees in pain. His wrist was covered in track marks. He had been shooting up. "I have two hundred dollars," I said, releasing his wrist. "I will pay you two hundred dollars to come to my house."

Tony reluctantly agreed. After school we walked together to my house, going straight to my room. I locked the door. And told him, "I want you to take your clothes off and lay on my bed."

Tony did as I asked, removing his t-shirt off, then his jeans. He laid on my bed, as still as a corpse, staring up at the ceiling. "Sunny?" he said, his voice quivering.

I gazed upon his tattoos, his body piercings, and scars. It was as if he truly did die that night and his body had reformed into something that I no longer recognized. I touched the scars on his chest. Apparently, he had stabbed himself five times before getting the mirror glass stuck.