But Lauri pulled me into her and we embraced, looking into each other's eyes with such intensity and love that it pierced our hearts and souls. We were both so saddened and our hearts were so heavy. I leaned into her and kissed her one last time as we kissed so intensely and urgently as we knew this would be our last time. Lauri's hands held my face pulling me more into her as our kisses and tears mixed together as we cried and kissed so passionately.
I had to pull away knowing that it would only make it worse the longer we continued to kiss and hold each other, and as hard as it was to pull away from her I knew I had to go. I looked back at her crying.
Lauri looked at me one last time, "I'll always love you Samantha Pearson. " She said to me as we both walked away from each other. "I won't say goodbye Samantha, for it will never be goodbye for us."
I turned back and smiled sadly at her. "Till next time then my love," I said as the tears flowed down my face.
"Till next time Samantha," Lauri said smiling back at me.
We both got back into our cars, as I drove off. Lauri sat there awhile as her tears washed over her face. "I'll never forget you Samantha," she said to herself as she started up her car and drove off.
I continued to drive fighting off my tears as my hand wrapped around the pendant. I squeezed it in my hand, and sighed and smiled sadly to myself. She would always be a part of me, and I knew I would never love another like her again. She was everything to me, all that I had ever hoped for and everything I ever needed in my life. I would have done anything for her, to have her love and only her, but sadly I knew that was impossible. I sniffled and wiped away my tears, "at least I'll have her in my dreams," I thought sadly to myself as I continued to drive along the freeway to a new beginning and new life for myself.
Six years later....
Though all this time had passed I still often thought of Lauri and wondered how she was. I never got involved with anyone again after her, though I tried to date, I just never could get into it. My heart would always be with Lauri, and I just could never get over that to be with anyone else, so I stayed alone and put all of my time and energy the past few years into my work and my career. I finished up my masters degree in research and did alot of research and development with dental products and services, and travelled the countryside doing conventions as well as working in private practices as well.
I had worked for Patti for a couple of years but once I received my research degree and began travelling quite a bit I advanced in my career and had other offers and opportunities. Though I didn't work for Patti anymore we still remained in contact, and remained good friends, and hung out occassionally. She had been a wonderful boss to work for those first couple of years and really gave me my first break in everything in starting out my career.
And now here I am, I travel everywhere and give speeches on new developments and such, and write for a few dental journals as well, so I've kept myself pretty busy these past few years. But I've had to, if only for my own survival I've had to put everything I had into my work and helping others, and not think of my own problems and past. It has helped me. I love my work and find great pleasure in all that I have accomplished in that time, so I don't feel I've wasted my life by not having a social life and dating. I feel I get all I need from my work and helping others and I'm content with that.
I remember telling Shirley at one time so long ago it seems now, that it was a small world for she had family out here. Well she ended up calling me out of the blue a few years ago. She did stay behind for a year or so and worked in the city where we graduated, but then she came out East here. She called me up one afternoon tracking me down at the University of Pennsylvania for I was still working with Patti at the time, actually it was just before I left there and started out my research. I was quite surprised but it was nice to hear from her. We met up and started to hang out as well occassionally. On one of the occassions when we were out I introduced shirley to Patti, and it was love at first sight for the both of them, so I guess you can say I brought them together. Shirley now works for Patti as her hygienist, and I actually think their four year anniversary is coming up here soon that they've been together, which reminds me I better put that down in my date book. Hmmm...where was I? Yes, okay, talking about Shirley.
Anyway the past few years Shirley and I have developed a great friendship. She jokes about how her and I could have had something together at the beginning, if I wasn't so hung up on Lauri. I know she's joking though. Shirley and Patti are made for each other, I wouldn't think of any two who belong more together, than of course me and Lauri, but that's besides the point. Anyway, I told her about me and Lauri a few years ago. Shirley is such a pain at times though, she's always trying to set me up on these blind dates, though I cancel out on them all the time which frustrates the hell out of her.
She thinks I'm wasting my life, and need to get out and have some type of personal life. Well I must say, she tries anyway. But she doesn't seem to realize that I can't just move on after Lauri. God, I have tried, but I haven't been able to. Lauri just will always be a part of me, and I can't love another when I'm still so much in love with her, even after all these years I still love her as much as that first day. She was my soul mate, and I just can't have that with anyone else. But I do give Shirley credit. She makes me laugh for she tries anyway, it's always something new with her. She'll call me up and tells me there's someone who wants to meet me and I just laugh. I just ignore her most of the time now though, and we just joke about it. Poor Patti, she actually lives with Shirley and has to put up with her not only at work but at home too, but I say that jokingly, for they really are perfect together.
There was this one time though a few years back about four years ago I did run into Lauri at one of the conventions. She was there as well giving a speech. I wanted to go up to her and talk with her, but I noticed when she left that her husband was with her so I didn't go up to her. I'm not too sure if she knew I was there for she left before I gave my speech. Well at least I know she is well, and I guess happy with her husband. I wish I could say the same for myself, but truthfully I am happy, my work does bring me some form of fullfillment and contentment.
Well I better put this journal down, I have to pack again, I have to head off to another convention tomorrow so I have plenty to do here.
Samantha put her journal down and went upstairs of her apartment and pulled out a bag and began to pack her things for the next day. She was heading off to Chicago for a big convention, only a select few would be attending this one, and Samantha was one of the chosen few. It was almost an honor to have been selected. Samantha wondered if Lauri would be at this one for she knew Lauri was pretty prestigious in some of her work, but then again she hadn't seen her in over four years now at any of the other conventions, so maybe she wouldn't be there. Samantha kind've hoped that she wouldn't be, she didn't need to have old hurts and pains rehashed like it had been for her when she saw Lauri and her husband together that one day at that convention.
Samantha was finishing up with her packing and heading off to bed when she heard her doorbell ring. "Oh God, who could that be at this hour!" Samantha griped to herself. Samantha ran down the stairs to the front door and peeked through her window, and smiled to herself as she opened the door. "Hello, Shirley, now what do I owe this pleasure?" Samantha said smiling. "Hi babe, how you're doing?" Shirley said smiling as she walked in.
