Sorry for the brief post. Both organizations mentioned in this part of the story are organizations worthy of your support. Drop me an e-mail if you'd like more information. As always, comments, criticisms and votes appreciated. WHB
Song 14
Eternal Father, Strong to save,
Whose arm hath bound the restless wave,
Who bid'st the mighty Ocean deep
Its own appointed limits keep;
O hear us when we cry to thee,
for those in peril on the sea.
"Royal Naval Hymn"- Rev. William Whiting
The refrain of the "Royal Naval Hymn" was still playing in my head as I sat at the gate, waiting for my British Airways flight to leave Heathrow and take me back home to Alexandria. I was exhausted, both physically and mentally from the events of the last month. I missed my friends, I missed my students, I missed my roommate, and I missed my cat. I was sick of dealing with tax agents, lawyers and accountants on both sides of the Atlantic and with real estate brokers in London and Cotswold. I wanted my old life back, but I knew that was going to be impossible. The best I could hope for was to sort out the best pieces of the old, and try to reassemble them into some type of workable new life.
My flight began to board. I heaved a "big momma sigh", gathered my bags and found my seat. It was an overnight flight, and since the beginning of February is not the month most people think of as a great time to visit London my flight to Dulles was fairly empty. My seat was in the very last row of First Class, and as the only other passengers were seated at the very front, I was assured relative privacy to do what I really wanted to do. For the past month, I had let my father's English side rule and been the model of stoicism, not crying at any of the memorial services, as I cleaned out the house and flat, or as I wrote the hundreds of thank you notes for the kindness that people had shown to me. My upper lip was tired of being kept stiff, and I was going to allow my mother's Irish blood to come through and have the good long cry I'd been promising myself. After we took off, the flight attendant came by to see if I need anything, and I think she was afraid she had a crazy person on her hands.
"Miss Rhys-Hall, is there anything I can get you? Is there something wrong?" she asked frowning.
"I'm fine," I replied though the tears were coming hard and fast down my cheeks. "It's been a long month, and I'm just really tired."
"You should try to sleep then. Here is a blanket and pillow, and I'll be back with a bottle of water. Are you sure there isn't anything else I can do?"
"No, but thank you for your concern."
"Please let me know if you need anything," she replied.
I snuggled up in my blanket, took a sip of the water, and continued to allow myself the luxury of a good cry. My tears started to dry about the time we were half way home, and I fell into an uneasy sleep. In my dreams I again relived the night that had given me so much pleasure and so much pain.
I came down the stairs and in front of me were two police officers. Tor wrapped his arm around me as the older of the two officers looked at me and asked "Are you Phillipa Rhys-Hall?"
"Yes," I answered shakily. "Something has happened to my parents, hasn't it?"
"I'm so sorry to have to inform you but your parents were in an accident tonight. We need you to look at this picture and identify them." He held up a picture of my Dad's beloved MG twisted into a small piece of metal. Beside the car were my parents, lying so peacefully, covered in white sheets. Only their faces were visible, and I noticed their hair was wet.
"Yes that is my father's car, and those are my parents," I replied. "What happened?"
"They were driving over the bridge between Nags Head and Manteo when a drunk driver ran them off the bridge into the water. We believe they were dead before they hit the water from the impact of the crash, so they didn't suffer. The sheriff's office in Manteo wants you to call in the morning. Again I am so sorry to bring you this news. You'll stay with her?" He asked Tor.
"Of course," he replied. "Thank you for coming out to tell us in person."
"Yes thank you," I mimicked, my etiquette training kicking in. "Happy New Year".
They both looked at me as if I'd lost my mind, but wished us the same as Tor closed the door.
"Kärlek, I am so sorry," he said as he started to wrap his arms around me.
"Don't touch me," I whispered, taking a step away from him. He dropped the arm he already had around me. "If you touch me I'm going to fall apart, and I won't be able to do what I need to do. It's late, and you need to get some sleep. Why don't you go to bed, and I'll be up soon."
"Are you sure you want me to stay?" He asked.
"Very," I replied. I stood on my tip-toes and kissed his cheek.
He leaned down and pressed a kiss on my forehead. "I don't sleep well without you karesto, so don't wait too long."
He snapped his fingers for Axel and headed up to bed. I moved to the living room, grabbed my laptop, and sat on the couch wrapped in the blanket that we had used earlier. My go to strategy when I felt overwhelmed was list making. By writing everything I need to do down, I could check them off and see the progress I was making. It's like the old riddle, how do you eat an entire elephant? One bite at a time. And that's how I was going to be able to function over the next several weeks. I'd write my to do list, and every morning I'd have a little less to do. It also meant I wouldn't overlook anything that needed to be done. After an hour I had written over 100 tasks big and small that needed to be accomplished, and highlighted the ones that absolutely had to be done today. It was too early to call anyone, so I decided to go upstairs and at least pretend to sleep for a few hours.
When I got upstairs I found Axel was asleep on my side of the bed, with Tor asleep on his. I convinced the beast to move, and crawled under the covers to the spot he had pre-warmed for me. I rolled onto my side towards Tor, and he pulled me towards him, settling me against him, my head on his chest.
"What can I do to help you karlek?" He whispered stroking my hair.
"Just what you're doing now. Go back to sleep." He did, and I lay quietly within his strength, watching the light turn from black to gray as dawn approached. Finally I closed my eyes and tried to push all thoughts of the coming days from my head.
The light was full yellow when I awoke New Year's Day. I glanced at the clock and saw it was 8:00. I heard my shower running and realized that Tor would need to leave soon to go to the game. I stretched, and the realization hit me like a punch to the gut. My parents were gone, and I was truly an orphan. I had so much to do, and so I made the first of what I knew would be a difficult set of phone calls.
"Good morning Aunt Pippa," a small voice said. "Happy New Year! I got to stay up until midnight, but I fell asleep before the ball dropped. Are you excited about the game today?"
"Happy New Year to you poppet. Is your mommy or daddy up yet?" I asked, trying to keep my voice light.
"Yep. Daddy, it's Aunt Pippa," he yelled across the house. If Angie and Ted weren't up before then, they would be now.
"Hang up Theo. Happy New Year Pippa. What has you calling so early?"
"Ted," I stuttered. "Mummy and Daddy were killed by a drunk driver last night. I can't go to the game today, so I called to tell you Tor will leave the tickets at the will call window. Enjoy the game, and I'll call you as soon as I know more details." I hung up before I could start crying. Okay, I could check the first thing off my list. I knew that Ted would take care of letting people at school know, so I went downstairs to the computer and sent out a quick e-mail to my colleagues giving them what little information I had, and promising to update them as soon as possible. Task two down. Knowing that Annie and Ian had probably had a late evening I sent her a text, explaining what had happened and letting her know I'd update her as soon as I could. I also told her not to come home early, because that would just make me feel worse. I was on a roll, and with the first three tasks accomplished I knew I only had ninety-seven more.
I heard the shower turn off upstairs so I proceeded to start the coffee pot and make some toast. Tor and Axel came into the kitchen so I turned off the alarm so I could let Axel out. I made my way back to the kitchen. Tor was sitting at the table, putting his socks and shoes on. I brushed a kiss on his cheek, and handed him his breakfast. I turned away before he could put his hands on me, and headed towards the stairs saying "I'm going to go get the tickets for today's game. Could you leave them at will call for Ted?"
"Of course karesto. Would you like me to skip the game and stay here with you? I know Coach would understand."
I stopped for a moment. I couldn't turn around and look at him, because if I did I was afraid I'd lose all my carefully stored up self-control. I still had so many things to do, and I would need a stiff upper lip to accomplish them. While there was nothing I would've liked to do more than sit howling in his arms, I knew I couldn't be so self-indulgent, so I replied "Thanks for offering, but I think we need to keep things as normal as possible. Besides, when will you ever get the chance to play in a game like this again? I promise I'll watch it on TV."
I went upstairs and got the tickets from my desk. I took a deep breath and met him at the front door as he prepared to leave for the game. He pulled me into his arms and I allowed myself to sink into the warmth of his chest. I pulled his head down and gave him a heartfelt kiss. He returned it and we both felt a little breathless when we pulled apart.
