I lied about my education to get a better job. I lied about where I lived, so as not to be buttonholed as being poor, uneducated, and/or lazy. I lied about what I knew and what I didn't know. Fortunately, I had the intelligence to fake what I didn't know, while learning what I needed to know quickly, without anyone ever suspecting that I was a phony and a fraud. Unless my competitor has a lot of money that he or she can afford to lose, I don't advice playing poker with me. Now that I know how to play the game, poker, as well as life, expert at both, no one can tell when I'm bluffing or lying.
With my lying and bluffing in mind, one could extrapolate and make the leap that I'm lying about loving my mother, in the way that a man loves a woman, as opposed to how a son loves his mother, by bluffing myself into believing what we have is love, instead of nasty incest, but it's not. We have the real thing and I love her, as much as she loves me. I hope we stay together for the rest of our lives.
Even though it's a bittersweet memory, because of the unfortunate circumstances of my birth, with my Mom having me out of wedlock, my Mom's favorite day, of course, is Valentine's Day, my birthday. Still, the fact that I didn't have a last name, didn't escape my classmates. I was always teased and, just as they wondered about the absence of my Dad, the kids wondered about the absence of my last name. They always speculated the worst scenario and most times they guessed right but, by bluffing and/or lying, I always showed my outrage to throw them off track. There's that ability to bluff and lie, again, coming in handy, whenever I needed it the most, not to mention that I needed to be a good actor to make them believe that all that I said was true.
Growing up with a dark cloud over my head, I didn't want anyone to know that I was a bastard baby, a baby born out of rape, hate, and violence. With just the bad karma of the details of my birth following me through life, if I dwelled on the negative way in how my life began, my life would have been worse than it was. I didn't want anyone to know that I never knew my father. Instead, I told them my Dad was in jail for murder and, figuring like father like son, that gave me some street credibility with the neighborhood thugs. I wished, instead, that I was born out of a marriage that was filled with love, kindness, and caring. Regardless of how my life started, my life got better, as I grew older and I have to thank my Mom for that.
My Mom was always there for me. She was my rock, when I was in a soft spot with my emotions and she was my pillow, when I was having a hard time. As it was always just my Mom and me, we grew closer. Even though we developed a special bond that a mother should never have with her son, it wasn't like that with us. It was different for us. Our symbiotic relationship worked well with us. We were a match and the right fit physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Without doubt, if it wasn't for her love helping me through life, because of the bad neighborhood we lived it, I'd either be dead or in jail. One another's number one fans, we were our support team. With no family and no friends, it was just us.
Protective of one another and always there for one another, our lives could have been so much worse. How many people have a true, best friend, someone they can totally trust and depend upon, someone who would willingly and without hesitation give their life for them? In the way we watched out for one another's backs, it was comforting to know we weren't alone.
I was her son, her best friend, and her lover and she was my mother, my best friend, and my lover. To each their own, whatever floats your boat, once we closed our bedroom door, so long as we didn't flaunt our incestuous relationship out in the open for public speculation, gossip, rumor, innuendo, discussion, and/or shocked rejection, we didn't see anything wrong with our living arrangement. In whatever way a mother shows her love for her son and a son returns her love in kind, it was none of anyone's business what we did behind closed doors.
Fuck them. There was no one there for us and no one to help us through our lives but ourselves, when we needed the help the most. Walk in our shoes, before you dare judge us. If we found some shared comfort sexually in one another's bodies, that's a beautiful thing, no matter where we found it.
When we finally moved to a better neighborhood, in the way that people don't even know who lives next door to them today, no one even knew we were mother and son. That was when, instead of calling her Mom, I started calling her Christine. My Mom looked young enough and I looked old enough that we could have been husband and wife or boyfriend and girlfriend for all anyone knew. Besides, it was no one's business, if we were husband and wife, boyfriend and girlfriend, significant other to one another, or mother and son. As far as we were concerned, we were just two disenfranchised people trying to make it through life, as best as we could and in whatever way we knew how.
The fact that we had sex is only wrong, when someone who doesn't understand the love we have and share for one another labels it and puts a negative name to it, incest, a word that connotes how we lived was wrong and what we did behind closed doors was nasty. Only, we didn't see it that way. We saw our relationship as beautiful, caring, and loving. We saw it as two people who came together under extraordinarily difficult circumstances of living life alone, her without a husband and me without a dad, joining forces to live as a supportive couple. To make it through our days, we had to take on more than one role to survive.
Even then, with one helping the other, our lives weren't all honey and roses. For a while, before my Mom got some training to get a better job and earned enough money to support us and saved up enough money to move to a better neighborhood, there was a dark side with hunger and homelessness. Before the dawn of another day, there was a scary night of pain, suffering, and anxiety, before a new day dawned that gave us hope for a better life.
With my Mom being a survivor of sexual abuse and her making her way through a perverted mother's love for her son and a son's lust for his mother, our relationship was doomed from the start and easily could have soured and failed. Instead our love for one another blossomed. Fortunately for us, our relationship not only survived but also grew stronger, and we're still together as a couple, even after all these years.
Easily my Mom could have done to me what was done to her, sexually abused and used me, but it was never like that. Having respect for one another, right from the beginning, we had more of a loving relationship than we did a sexual one. Yeah, sure, eventually, there was plenty of sex but, whenever we had sex it was more out of love than it was out of lust.
Now, that I'm 23-years-old and she turns 40-years-old this year, just as any normal couple does, we've reached a point in our incestuous relationship where we need to do more to sexually stimulate and excite one another. Maybe because, even though it is, we don't think of it as incest, but it's weird that even incestuous sex isn't enough, after having sex for a while. After years of teasing, flirting, flaunting, and sexually satisfying one another, my Mom decided that she'd like to try flashing in public, while I watched. Hey, it was her birthday and if that's what she wanted to do, we did it.
Since I'm a voyeur, it was just as much a present for me, as it was for her. I thought it would be hot to have some sexy fun with my Mom at the mall and whenever we were out in public that day of her 40th birthday. So long as we were discreet, so long as we made it appear accidental, whatever we did during the day, fueled our passion with hot pillow talk that night. I had the best sex with my Mom, after she sexually aroused herself by flashing her body.
The first flashing thing we did is what so many couples do. My Mom flashed the pizza delivery man. I double dared her to do it and that's all it took for her to agree. We ordered her favorite pizza for lunch, a Hawaiian with extra pineapple.
We watched as he pulled up in his car. He was a college kid. With me out of the sight of the pizza guy at the door, I watched my Mom answer the door just wearing a short towel that barely covered her boobs and her pussy. As soon as she handed him the money with one hand, while reaching for the pizza with her other hand and trying to hold the towel with her forearms, the towel fell and she was naked. Even though it was only a few seconds, before she squatted down and retrieved the towel, while still holding the pizza in one hand and trying to cover her nakedness with the other, it was hot and we had great pillow talk and wild sex after that. Probably the best tip he had that day, he never took his eyes of my Mom's big boobs.
After lunch, we headed off to the mall. Doubly exciting, it's one thing to go flashing with your girlfriend or wife but it's something else to go flashing with your mother. Our next flashing adventure was the shoe store, where she tried on a pair of boots a size too small. She was wearing a short skirt that climbed higher the more the shoe store salesman struggled to fit her foot in the boot. Raising and spreading her leg high enough for him to fit her foot, while giving a good look of her bright, white panties, I watched all the action through the window outside the store.