CHAPTER 6
Some time during early morning Milly heard a big thud outside her bedroom. She turned on her light and nervously opened her door. She saw a guy out cold, a pool of vomit beside his mouth. She dragged Garrison into his room -- at least she assumed it was Garrison, as he'd not turned up to dine with them.
Milly stripped him naked and cleaned his face and then realizing there was no way she could lift a 140lb lifeless man on to his bed wondered why she'd stripped him. Oh yes, men she'd lived with who'd succumbed to liquor had expected that of her. It had been a struggle to undress him and seemed unnecessary to dress him. It would be embarrassing for her in the morning...unless...
Milly hurried off and returned with an eyebrow pencil. She wrote on his thighs: 'Drunk louts in India often lose testicles. One marked in red to be removed.'
She went off to fetch red nail polish.
Her heart almost stopped when Garrison murmured, "What are you doing?"
"I'm a nurse, preparing you for theatre. You are about to have a baby."
"Oh, that all?"
He began breathing heavily through his mouth.
Milly dabbed the left hand side of his scrotum with red nail lacquer, covered Garrison with blankets and left.
The family including married daughter Laylana were finishing breakfast in the dining room when Garrison burst into the room, clad only in underpants and a polo. He yelled, "Who the fuck did this to me?"
Dirk said, "Moderate your language young man; ladies are present.'
Garrison had angrily puffed up his really quite handsome face and pointed to the writing. Justine went on to her knees to read it, her mom saying dryly, "Be careful Justine."
Justine read this writing on his thighs, 'Drunk louts in India often lose testicles. One marked in red to be removed.'
The women including Milly began tittering.
Justine carefully lifted the side of Garrison's underpants and screamed, "Oh God, his ball has been dabbed with red nail polish."
Now everyone at the table was rocking in laughter and the women began shrieking when Garrison bellowed, "And what's more I have dim recollection of being told I was in hospital and about to give birth to a baby."
Debrecini fell on to the floor, she was laughing uncontrollably.
Laylana helped her mother regain her seat.
Garrison pointed a finger accusingly at Milly. "It must have been you. None of my family would dare do this to me."
Milly eyed him stonily and said loudly, " You crash outside my bedroom door scaring the crap out of me. Then I heard vomiting and went to investigate. I dragged you into your bedroom and then cleaned up the mess on the landing. I then thought this was no way for a gentleman to behave so decided you were a lout and you deserved to be taught a lesson. I'm sorry, I thought it would be a silent lesson learned in the quiet of your own room. It never occurred to me you would come down here and create a spectacle in front of your family."
"Out, I want you out of this house. Now!"
Debrecini hurried around and told Garrison to calm himself. "Come around and sit beside Susan's guest Milly Houston. For once in your somewhat uncouth life you have met a woman with the guts to take you on."
"There's no way..."
"Shut up Harrison and do what I say or I'll slap you around."
The mouths of Garrison and his sisters fell open. Such an outburst by their mom had not been witnessed for perhaps fifteen years.
"Hit your mother and I'll fetch my baseball bat," Dirk said.
Garrison sat like a lamb.
Milly reached and stroked Garrison's face. "I am so sorry; I only set out to teach you a lesson, not to have you humiliated."
"It's okay. Good one mom. I'd thought you'd gone soft over the years."
Debrecini looked pleased and everyone began to relax. Milly jumped up and poured yogurt over a two heaped spoonfuls of cereal and placed it in front of Garrison. "You need to be gentle with your stomach this morning. I'm off to make you a pot of soothing herbal tea."
"I don't drink tea."
"You'll drink it this morning."
Garrison watch Milly walk out to the kitchen and asked, "Who the fuck is that?"
"Milly Houston, my biographer."
"She's awesome. Great tits and legs."
Mother and daughters looked at Garrison in reflective silence. It was as if he'd just announced he was giving up all other women. However, that would be most unlikely. But then again...when Milly returned with the teapot Garrison jumped up and pulled out her chair and pushed it back in behind her and stood standing until she was settled. The others appeared ready to hear Milly said, "Sit -- good boy." But she didn't. She just smiled and winked at Justine across the table and Justine blushed, eyes dancing.
"Milly was wondering about going to a dine and dance this evening Garrison," Justine said. "You won't be up to it but do you have a pal who could escort Milly on a blind date?"
Garrison glared at Justice and Milly said it was a kind thought but she was out for lunch and would see her godchild then and the function could drag on.
"I'll go back to bed for a long sleep," Garrison said almost heroically. "It would be an honor to escort you to a dine and dance. I'll book."
Susan said, "Please accept Milly? You appear to be doing remarkably well attempting to civilize my bother. Please accept."
"Very well -- but no more boorish behavior Garrison."
"No, of course not. I have no wish to be castrated."
Garrison wandered off to book a table and Debrecini was heard to remark under her breath, "God, I can't believe I'm witnessing this."
Susan whispered, "I would have double-dated but this guy of mine is taking me home to dinner. It will be the first time I've met Andrew's parents."
"Sounds exciting."
"I have my fingers crossed but please, say nothing within hearing of the family."