7 - The Arbitrager:
Arbitrage is, according to Wikipedia at least, the practice of taking advantage of differences between two or more markets. I put my iPhone away, still none the wiser, other than to assume it was another form of socially acceptable gambling thinly disguised as investment.
The Arbitrager, on the other hand, was the perfect name for a pub where flash city boys came to drink and boast after work. All the beer on sale is locally sourced, as in within the boundary of London's M25 motorway. Nobody drinks pints here. The beer is served in third or two-thirds of a pint glasses. Oh, and it goes without saying that it's all grossly overpriced.
I'm sitting on my own at the back of the saloon, watching the rugby scrum at the bar. Men in expensive suits are braying like jackasses as they boast loudly about their success on the money markets. One guy, older and fatter than the others breaks away barking into a smart phone.
"Capitano! Thanks for the tip on those Euro-Dollar exchange rate options. I got in early with a put position and made a killing. I owe you big time. Come over one day after work and the Bollinger's on me mate!"
I know him. His name's Simon Milton, a day trader at the Trans Atlantic Market Investment Group, TAMIG for short, based in Black Friars.
Judging by his course, as he did the uncoordinated two-step of the inebriated through the packed bar, he was heading for the toilet. I let him get past where I was sitting and then stood up to follow him, keeping a discrete distance.
We were the only people in the lavatory, which suited me. He was standing at the urinal fumbling drunkenly with his fly zip as I entered. I moved quickly and pushed him hard face first into the wall.
"What the fuck!" he squawked in shock.
I shut him up by punching him in the back of the neck. His face hit the wall with a satisfying thud. While he was stunned I grabbed him by the back of his trousers and shirt collar, swung him round hard and pushed him into a toilet stall.