"Look, Mack, I thought I'd better warn you as soon as I heard. Brian and Conway are planning on taking the children on a couple of weeks' holiday on the Broads. You can't complain; it's your fault they are going up there anyway. They never would have thought of it if you weren't working in that boating pub," Julia informed me one Sunday morning.
'Oh, yeah, how come it's my fault?' I asked myself when the call was over.
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Patricia or really her fella John gave us all a nasty shock in early June. The silly little sod smashed his car up with both of them in it. Luckily they weren't too badly hurt and were only hospitalised for a couple or three days. But it really frightened Beverley. It wasn't often that Bev spent three nights on the trot in my bed, and that without any sex between us. She just wanted to lie there in bed and cuddle. Which I was happy to do for her!
Okay, Millie gave me enthusiastic blowjobs in the cellar everyday and I managed to fit in a quick one with Michelle or Millie sometime during the afternoon, whilst Bev and the other of them visited Patricia in hospital. What you'd call a short sharp shot, because we were busy and we only had Tasha to watch the shop whilst we were at it. Actually those quickies became a bit of a habit after that. I even shagged Bev over the kitchen table a couple of times. I'm not sure, I think the girls got off on the idea that we could be walked in on.
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"Mike's decided he'd like to go as well, so we are going to hire two boats, cruisers Mike calls them. Should we wear life jackets, Mack? What about the baby? Do they do life jackets for babies?" was the news I was greeted with in another of Julia's weekly calls, just after Patricia came out of hospital, I do believe.
"You'll have to speak to the boat hire people, Julia; I have nothing to do with hiring boats. Some people, children mostly, wear life jackets. The water isn't all that deep really; I think those who do wear them are people who can't swim," I replied.
I wanted nothing to do with their bloody boating holiday if Conway was involved. But my sister had asked a civil question and I'd answered her.
I'm human so I did wonder - but didn't ask - whether Lindsey was planning on joining her so called 'new man' on this holiday. I could just imagine the bitch turning up with him at the pub, to rub my nose in it. I voiced my thoughts to the girls. Beverley, Patricia and Michelle made comments in a similar vein. Millie remained strangely silent on the issue.
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As the summer was building to its crescendo (i.e. high season when all the schools are closed), word came from the villagers first that Philip's grandmother had a stroke. That news put Millie in a really good mood for a few days, until she saw Philip and he told her that it didn't look like it was going to be terminal. However, in those few days Millie did her best to kill me every night.
Because - as she put -- "Once Phil and I get married I'm going to miss this dick of yours. You realise that once Phil starts fucking me you ain't getting no more from me, don't you? Anyway I'd better make the most of you whilst I can."
The news that Philip's gran wasn't about to pop her clogs meant Millie needed consoling in the same way as Beverley had when Patricia had her accident. Only Millie's idea on being consoled was to have her snatch chewed on for most of the night. 'Jesus, Millie,' I thought, 'if Phil isn't a quick learner, you are going to be in for a disappointing married sex life.'
"We'll all be stopping by for a couple of nights in August. I hope you're not going to be funny about Lindsey being with us, Mack, and throw a tantrum or anything," Julia informed me.
"Damn it, Julia, I think that's damned inconsiderate of you all. You know my feelings about Lindsey. Why the hell do you have to stop here at all? There's plenty of other pub moorings you could use."
"Mack, Brian and I want to see our brother. Brian and his family haven't seen you since before you left home. You might have a problem with Lindsey and Conway being there, but that's your fault for not coming home to see the family, isn't it? Anyway, I'm sure Conway will stay out of your way, but I think Lindsey would like to talk to you to clear the air."
"Well, I don't need the air cleared, Julia. I think I've got a better idea of what's been going on than you, Brian, Mike or mum and dad will ever know. When are Lindsey and the arsehole getting married anyway?"
'Shit, damn, blast!' I thought to myself. I really hadn't intended to ask that. I was sure in my own mind that they would get hitched. I just wondered how long they were going to keep the bloody pretence up.
"Don't call Conway names, Mack! He's done nothing to you. He's a nice guy and he's treating Lindsey a damned sight more pleasantly that you ever did. If you must know they aren't even dating officially. I think Conway takes Lindsey to lunch from work quite often and it's obvious that he's got a thing for her. He runs her around in his car and takes her over to Brian's place when he takes his children there. Lindsey is coming along as Conway's guest to help look after his children. They seem to like her."
"You've seen them together then?" 'What the hell did I ask that for?' I was thinking the moment the words were out of my mouth.
"Of course, Brian's had a little pool put in and in this hot weather, Mike and I have been going over there on the weekend with the children as well. That's when they all planned this boating holiday idea. But I'm a little worried about the children and all that water."
'Little pool,' I thought. 'That doesn't sound like my brother, Brian. Olympic size pool is more his cup of tea.' But then that modern house of his only has a tiny garden.
"Don't worry about the water, Julia. You have to be careful and use some common sense naturally. But we don't have that many serious accidents with children. It's more the drunk adults making their way back to the boats in the dark and tripping over mooring lines," I placated her.
I don't know why, but Julia worrying about the children and the water took the edge off the anger I'd felt a few moments before. I completely put Lindsey, and her lover coming by, to the back of my mind.
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The August Bank holiday was on us almost before I realised. Luckily for just about everyone concerned, my family party didn't turn up over the holiday weekend itself. I think I might have told Julia that I would be too busy to even speak to them during the three days.
It was the Wednesday when Patricia had been down by the river hunting for abandoned glasses with John. Both of them had taken a week's holiday from work to help out, and John was proving to be a nice guy, now he'd tamed down his driving a little. Patricia came into the bar and told me that she thought that it was Mike and Julia who were tying up a medium size craft to the bank.