Clarification: In many parts of the UK, a female's "Fanny" is/are her sexual organs, not her backside as is the usual accepted meaning of the term in some other countries. The Publican or license holder of a Public house is known by a variety of names; formally they are the landlord or landlady, and colloquially they are frequently referred to as the Governor or a local abbreviated variation on the word, i.e. Gov-na or Govner.
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I wasn't at all sure where I was going to, when I loaded my car. I was well aware that I didn't need to stay local; actually that was the last thing I wanted to do, what with all the family thinking I was some kind of a pervert for one thing. And when my friends discovered that I was no longer with Lindsey they would want to know why we'd broken up. What do I tell them? That she'd kept her legs crossed for me, but was shagging some squaddy behind my back? Shit, that story was going to get out sometime anyway and I was going to look a prize prick.
I thought of going down to the coast and maybe finding a full time job with one of the fishing charter companies. But I scrapped that idea because most of my friends went sea fishing, someone was bound to spot me on one of their trips before very long and word would get around on where I'd sneaked off to.
Then the idea of Norfolk came into my head. There were plenty of holiday sailing and cruiser hire companies up there. I wondered it I could get a job in one of those hire boatyards. That would mean I was working around boats at least, even if they were only Broads' Holiday Cruisers.
Cutting across town I made my way up the A12 past Ipswich and on up to Lowestoft on the coast of East Anglia. Once there I was in Norfolk's Broads region and I began driving from one small Broadland town or village to the next, looking for...? Oh, shit, I had no idea what I was looking for. A bloody great sign outside a boatyard that said 'Help Wanted, preferably a pissed off big city teenager' maybe. I had no idea what I was looking for or how I expected to find it.
I'm not sure what time I pulled into the riverside pub car park. I didn't have much choice really - I'd run out of road. I'd thought there might be a boatyard at the end of the little lane but the road terminated at a waterside pub called "The Willow's Ferry". As I hadn't eaten all day I thought I might as well see if they did food and possibly they might do B&B so I could find a bed for the night there.
The pubs low ceiling made the bar fairly dark inside. There were a few lights on behind the bar itself, I gathered so that the staff could see what they were doing when pulling pints. Not that there were any staff in sight, I assumed that they were out in the riverside garden, which was pretty crowded with patrons, in contrast to the deserted bar.
Taking a seat on one of the stools by the bar I made myself comfortable until someone decided to put in an appearance. I'd been sitting there for about five minutes before a pair of Bristols walked in from the garden carrying a tray of empty glasses. I had to mention them now because... well, they were not something that any male of our species would not notice first about her; they must have come through the door a good half a second before the rest of the young woman did.
"Oh, where did you spring from, luvver?" the broad Norfolk accent, attached to the Bristols asked. And, no, I hadn't got around to looking at her face yet.
I gestured to the door that led in from the car park.
"Well, I'll be, kind of took me by surprise. Most customers come by boat or along the towpath at this time of year. What can I get you?" she asked, making her way behind the bar. Ditching the empty glasses, she began filling half a dozen or so more.
"Pint of best. And do you do food?" I replied, finally forcing myself to look up from those ginormous tits, to her face. It was an extremely pretty face that was wearing a grin that told me she was well aware of where my concentration had been since she'd entered the room.
Actually it is possible that those Bristols weren't quite as large as they first appeared. The young woman couldn't have stood more than four foot ten or eleven. Her short height seemed to accentuate the size of those breasts. She looked like she needed a counterbalance on her back to support the damned things. Whatever, they were large by any normal standards and to be honest they looked not far short of comical on her. Although I doubted that most hot-blooded young men would have been laughing in quite the way you would imagine if they could get their hands on the damned things.
Where was I? See, I was soon to discover that's the affect those Bristols of Millie's had on most guys.
The barmaid, who I rapidly was to learn was called Millie, pulled my pint as she was pulling the order she'd obviously taken from outside and placed it in front of me.
"I'll send Martha in to get your order, as she's doing food!" she said looking me straight in the eye. Then she looked down at her appendages, then back up into my eyes, grinned, winked and then left for the garden again carrying a tray laden with beer.
A few seconds later a much older woman appeared who I gathered was Martha. Efficiently but in a manner that told me the last thing she wanted was another food order she listed what was available and I chose sandwiches. That brought an unwarranted look of disgust from Martha, before she retreated to wherever she'd been hiding when I'd arrived.
Shortly those Bristols returned attempting to hide behind another tray full of empty glasses and Millie set about filling another tray full of pints, half pints and assorted shorts.
"On holiday?" she threw in my direction.
"Nope, looking for a job and some digs for the night. Do you do B&B here?" I replied.
Millie fixed me with a sideways look. "Doing what?"
"Dunno, thought I might find work in one of the boat hire places."
"You'll be lucky! You're not a boat builder; I can see that by the look of your hands. All the boat yards around here want fully skilled men to keep the boats up to scratch during the season," she commented.
'Well, there goes that idea out the bloody window,' I thought to myself.
"What about B&B?" I asked her.
"I'll have a word with the landlady," she replied, hoisting the fully loaded tray and heading for the garden again.
Martha returned just long enough to place my cheese and tomato sandwiches on the bar beside me.
"You looking for work?" A definitely no nonsense and commanding female voice said from behind me as I started tucking into the first sandwich.
I glanced around to see an attractive woman, possibly in her late thirties or early forties had entered from the garden. I figured that the tray of empties she was carrying marked her out as the landlady that Millie had mentioned.
"Yeah." I nodded in reply to her.
"Can you change a barrel?" she asked, moving behind the bar and starting to fill up glasses as Millie had done before her.