Dominic loved Dawn, would have changed places with her in a heartbeat. However, as the process of treatment began something changed. He found that he couldn't handle the physical reality of what she was experiencing and he hated himself for it. If he let his mind actualize her treatment he choked back tears and a fear he'd never felt before. He did what he could, he worked hard to assure her the best medical care, took care of the household, the mundane things like chores and went to doctors appointments when he could but for the most part her mother took on the majority of the burden. Dawn understood why Dominic couldn't handle it and was, in some ways, relieved that he could remain in the dark about certain things. But there was still a small part of her that felt abandoned. His warm full bodied bear hugs became soft embraces, their teasing and wrestling like kids became gentle shoulder shoves and love pats and when he looked at her the fire that was there was replaced with sheer panic and pity. Every move she made him twinge with fear and "Are you ok?" was in the structure of every single sentence he spoke.
The joyous passion they shared was gone. No lifting her to the kitchen counter... no reckless abandon... no sofa quickies... no Fantasy Nights with costumes and toys and definitely no fucking. But he held her every night and his displays of affection were often. In those first few months he couldn't even embrace her let alone make love for fear of hurting her. But she needed him so badly. Despite the chemical warfare the one constant that reminded her she was alive still throbbed and ached between her creamy thighs. She still woke with the same arousal and deep need.
A few weeks into treatment she lay in the hospital bed, sick and tired of being sick and tired. Her body was tight and strung like steel wires. Although she had a private room she had been unable to sleep let alone bring herself to climax and yet her body needed that release so desperately.
Dom came to visit late that night and as had become routine he crawled into bed next to her, she wrapped herself around him and found some peace there in his arms. The nurses were generally busy after dinner had been served, setting up pills and syringes full of toxic waste for her and those in the ward around her, so they were rarely interrupted and usually Dawn was able to get a few peaceful hours of sleep. But not this night. She fidgeted and squirmed until Dom finally asked.
"Baby, are you ok? Am I hurting you?" He started to pull away but she wrapped her arms around him tighter. The tears welled in her eyes as she turned her face down.
"What is it, Dawn?" he whispered
"I can't say." She muffled back a small sob.
"Yes, you can, baby." His tenderness tugged at her, he loved her so much.
"I need something." She said hesitantly. He didn't understand until her eyes met his and he saw that smoky look he knew so well.
"Do you want me to help you." he whispered against her ear, she nodded slightly while the tears continued to flow. "Are you sure?" she nodded again choking back the sob of need rising in her throat.
He shifted onto his left side, pulled her head to rest on his bicep and covered them with the light blankets around her. His hand cupped her cheek and he pressed a light kiss against her mouth, thumbing away the tears that wet her face, and then kissing her again this time sweeping his tongue against her lips. Her breathing deepened as his hand slid softly down her cheek, passed the bandages at her throat, down her left arm around the iv plugged into the crook of her arm. His fingers found their way to the curls at the top of her mound and he pressed his warm palm against it; letting his fingers rest lightly on the outer lips of her vagina. He began to stroke up one side and down the other, brushing just slightly over her pearl causing it to harden and grow. Her breath quickened as each pass pressed harder against her clit. She raised her left leg at the knee giving him better access to the part of her that needed his touch; the warmth and sweet scent of her arousal rising from her center. His middle finger drew moisture from between her cleft; pulled it up and began to swirl around and across her clit until she was nearly breathless; he continued to work the bud until her body quivered with spasm after spasm. She leaned into him breathless and weeping while his arms enfolded her. He felt her body start to relax he knew she would soon be drifting off so he whispered quietly against her ear
"Feel better, baby?" A soft whimper, a deep sigh and slight nod was her reply before sleep overcame her. He cried while he lay there cradling her, her cheeks still damp with tears and flushed with fever. Not sure he could survive all that was coming.
And so the next 11 months were filled with constant medical bullshit. Dominic continued to waver between being 'in' the experience and not wanting to know anything and yet he remained attentive and caring.
A month after coming home from the hospital Dawn was feeling restless and tense, so she filled the Jacuzzi tub, lit a few candles, turned on some smooth jazz and laid back in the hot water with a sigh. She traced the slice along her throat, just above the collar bone running from side to side, it had required 37 stitches to close it; and then just above that she touched the tracheotomy scar that was the closest to your vocal chords and had almost taken her voice. Further up and to the right side was the half moon shaped scar from the initial biopsy. Her hand sank lower until she found the holes where the multiple feeding tubes had been connected just below her ribs and then to the right side where small insertion ports would be connected to a beeper sized machine that pumped contaminants into her on a regular basis. She had touched the scars often as they healed but had not been brave enough to see the results more directly. Her familiar need began radiating from her core and she parted her thighs in the warm water, sliding her hands up and down her body, along her thighs and up her sides then down between her breasts. She turned the jets on and felt the pulsations down her back and along her sides. She found that if she rotated slightly to the side one jet sent bubbles dancing along her throbbing folds; rocking back and forth she allowed the strong jet to stimulate her clit and then moved away and then back again until her eyes closed and she arched, riding the cresting wave to its completion. Her breaths began to slow as she relaxed back into the warm water. She needed Dominic to make love to her... sweet and soft if that's what he wanted... but she needed to feel him stroking inside of her...
