February 1920
Bethan and Peter
āOf course itās the war, it changed everything.ā
William Welford Barnes looked up from the newspaper and gazed at his wife.
āWhat do you mean, my dear, precisely?ā
āItās Bethan and Peter, of course. They want to get married. At least, Peter does. Iām not quite so sure about Bethan.ā
āGood God! When did this happen?ā
āOh, William, have you been blind these last months? Ever since Peter came out of the Air Force, or whatever they call it these days, heās been hanging around here like a lovesick puppy. Iāll not deny that itās been good for Bethan but I really donāt know. Iām not at all sure how I feel.ā
āIāll have a word with him. Tell him to lay off, or something.ā
āMy dearest husband, you can be obtuse at times. That is not what I said. They want to get married. Iām terribly afraid we shall soon lose little Michael. Oh, I donāt blame Bethan; sheās still a girl, really. One canāt expect her to wear widowās weeds for the rest of her life. And I donāt exactly blame Peter. I know heās a good man and he was Phillipās closest friendā¦ā
Beatrice broke off, her voice choking. William, as always when confronted by his wifeās tears, was utterly discomfited. He sighed, put down his paper and rose to place his arms about her.
āCome on, old girl, thatās enough of that. Chin up, now. You know we said that we wouldnāt remember Phillip with weeping and wailing. He wouldnāt want that, now, would he?ā
āNoā
She shook her head but still the tears came. Why did it have to be him? But she knew the answer. It was the War. In many ways Phillip had been fortunate to survive as long as he did. A year in the trenches and then eighteen months in the Royal Flying Corps, much of it spent at the front. How much worse had it been for those mothers whose sons had lasted only a day or two? Or even worse, for those who had almost seen it through, those who had died in November 1918. She shook her head. It didnāt actually matter. Dead was dead and the āwhenā of it didnāt come into the equation. She took a deep breath and wiped her eyes.
āIām sorry, William. Itās silly of me, I know. Peter must marry Bethan. Weāll just have to make the most of our grandson when they visit.ā
āWhy canāt they live here?ā
āNo. That wouldnāt do at all and Peter, quite rightly, wouldnāt stand for it.ā
āWhy ever not? The place will go to Michael once Iām gone. Iāve put it all in trust for him. Bethan is quite entitled to live here with the heir to the estate.ā
āYes, my dear, but Peter is not. And I would think less of him he proposed such a thing. And so would you, once you think about it.ā
āWould I? If you say so, my dear, I probably should. Youāre usually right about such things. Where shall they live, then?ā
āI donāt know. I havenāt thought it right to raise the subject until they did.ā
āWell, weāll just have to ask āem, wonāt we?ā
Peter Riley was deep in thought. The last thing heād ever expected when he promised Phillip that he would look after Bethan and the boy was that he would fall in love. It had happened, though. Not quickly. Peter was a far more worldly individual than Phillip had ever been. Somehow or other, Bethan had crept up on him. Not literally, of course. She hadnāt meant to do it. They had been thrust into each otherās company. Peter was the boyās Godfather, an office he took very seriously, not out of any great religious conviction; the War had shattered such faith as he possessed; it was more a sense of duty to Phillipās memory. Peter often wondered why he had been lucky enough to survive without so much as a scratch from enemy action. His only injury had come in a crash. Better men than he had perished. It left him with a lingering sense of guilt that no application of his strongly rational nature could quite overcome.
Now he had asked Bethan to marry him and she had accepted. It was strange. They had never been intimate on any level, had never even kissed. He knew that he loved her, desired her; that went without saying. She was a very beautiful young woman. Motherhood suited her. He loved the way her body moved, the round curves and mane of thick, dark hair. He wasnāt sure whether she loved him or was simply seeking a less cloistered life than that allowed by convention to a widow. He also suspected that she found the atmosphere at Pitton House oppressive since the child had been born. She had had to give up her work as a nurse, of course. Beatrice had insisted on hiring a Nanny for the child and had then thrown herself into the role of doting grandmother. As a result, Bethan had little to do and her own maternal instincts were often frustrated by the arrangements Beatrice had imposed.
Peter supposed it would have been different had Phillip lived. They would have built their house on the hilltop where Phillipās grave now lay. He didnāt doubt Phillip would have been master in his own home and that Bethan would have enjoyed considerably more freedom that she did at present. Thereby lay the problem. He could see that Bethan might be viewing a marriage to him as a means of escape. He wanted more than that.
Peter had left the new Royal Air Force the previous summer. He had been asked to stay in; thought about it briefly and then rejected the idea. He was an engineer by profession. Heād abandoned his studies at the outbreak of war in 1914 and been commissioned into the Royal Engineers. The transfer to the Flying Corps had been almost an accident. In a strange way he enjoyed the war. The expectation of being killed at any moment had somehow liberated him. He felt no sense of responsibility to anybody but himself. Everyone dealt with fear in his own way. Peterās way was to indulge himself at every opportunity. Now it was over. Like many of his contemporaries, he felt a great sense of restlessness; of something unfulfilled. He watched the peace process at Versailles with horror. The French were indulging in a petty sort of revanchism. Europe, the old Europe of certainties, had been stood on its head. Russia had dissolved in bloody revolution. The maps had been redrawn; entire new countries had sprung into uneasy existence. It boded nothing but trouble.
Unknown to Peter, Bethan was thinking along similar lines. She had accepted his proposal instantly; maybe a little too quickly, she felt now. She didnāt know how she felt about the tall, gangly man who had been Phillipās closest friend. She was attracted to him; she couldnāt deny it. What gave her pause was whether this was simply because he was the only eligible male she had seen since Phillip died. She was also worried that she had agreed simply to escape from the overbearing affections of Beatrice. Even thinking this made her feel guilty. Beatrice had been a rock; had comforted her and provided for both her and her son. Thinking of Michael made her smile. He was two, now and, like all two-year-olds, a proper handful. Sometimes she thought the only word her little boy knew was āno!ā
Of course, she could back out of it. Peter would be disappointed, possibly heartbroken. Yet he was too much the gentleman to hold it against her. Part of her wanted to do just that but another part, a more seductive part, wanted the comfort of a man of her own again. The lack of any intimacy to date didnāt bother her. She could tell by the way he looked at her that Peter desired her. No. She had made up her mind. Marry Peter she would. It only now remained to break the news to Beatrice and William. She got to her feet, her back straight, emphasising the thrust of her bosom. She would go and find Peter right this minute. Together they would confront Phillipās parents.