This story is about a journey from an abusive relationship to one which is based on love. The reason he accepted the dire first marriage is finally revealed to him. With the help of friends, he discovers his true self. Along the way he meets a woman who has her own demons. Together, they build a new life.
This is a work of fiction. It works in this world maybe not in your reality.
I'm a fool at best or in reality, a naïve, stupid, unobservant, unaware doormat. For almost seven years I have been abused, not physically but mentally, emotionally by the person I thought loved me as much as I loved her. In recent months, my rose-tinted specs had been slipping and I was beginning to see her in a new light. I also began to understand why I felt so many patronised or held me in contempt. Well, no one likes a doormat. They knew yet no one bothered to enlighten me. I was just the fool to be laughed at. I'm sure my naïvety made so many laugh at my gullibility or indeed utter stupidity. It must have been great fun for them to be able to demean me even more amongst themselves.
I had just found the proof of what had been eating away at me for the last few months. It was even worse than I had expected.
I was standing, shellshocked outside the party room at yet another of Waylon Struthers's house parties. I can't stand Waylon but my wife Melinda thinks the sun shines out of his arse. He's been the cause of quite a number of our arguments, bloody rows and recently war. I had been dragged here against my will. I tried to say I was unwell but Melinda wasn't having it.
Derek, a friend of Waylon's found me. He asked, "What's up, John?" I looked at him, "I told Melinda I wasn't feeling well. I tested negative so she made me come. Whatever shit they're smoking in there is turning my stomach. I need to get some fresh air or I'll christen his carpets with more than his cheap fucking wine."
Derek looked at me closely, "You do seem grey. Where's your coat? It's too cold to be outside without one."
I replied, "It'll be in our room." Waylon always insisted we stay. Derek said he would get it for me. I was still standing there when he came back. I put it on and headed out. I could tell he was watching me. I sat on a bench about as far from the house as I could go. I leaned over as though I was trying to stop throwing up.
No surprise: my phone wasn't in my coat!
In reality, I was looking for the bus to come. As I saw it in the distance, I put my hand to my mouth as though to hold the puke from coming out there. I ran towards the hedge to appear as though I was about to deposit it. In truth, that movement ensured I was lost from view. I ran to the bus stop and boarded the bus. Now, I had to plan carefully what I needed to do.
To let you understand, I'll start at the beginning of this lamentable excuse of a marriage. I've no doubt, those who read this will be screaming, what an imbecile! This wasn't hidden! Is he blind? I plead guilty to all accusations of being a total fucking loser or worse!
My name is John Hodges. I was almost twenty-three and had completed a degree in a highly technical engineering skillset which was supposed to be in high demand. I'm mister average. I did have a few girlfriends but none who wished to hang around long. I'm a very private guy, not very openly demonstrative or confrontational.
I came to work for Bright's. Their project manager, Aubrey Windsor had convinced me that I'd work on some highly interesting projects and be well rewarded. Many such projects required me to sign off on various amendments, installations as a legal requirement. I just tend to work away in the background. Often I would find errors made by others in the firm. They were seldom happy. Initially I was invited out for drinks but once it became clear, I wouldn't back down or cover for their mistakes these dried up.
I'd been working there for five months when at the firm's christmas party, I met Melinda. She's very pretty. Her friend was dancing with a colleague who was sat beside me, no doubt rueing the fact they'd arrived late. She invited me up to dance. I was startled. I never expected that. We danced a couple of songs and when a slow one came on, I made to walk off. She grabbed me and pulled me close. Her body felt like it was on fire. She was wearing a red dress which hinted at her breasts before falling to her knees. Those breasts felt awesome when she held me tightly. I was aroused. She knew as she ground her mons over my cock. It's definitely my standout feature.
I couldn't believe she spent the night mostly with me. She danced with several others but always came back to me. I saw her dancing with Aubrey's friend, that fucking Waylon Struthers. I didn't know him other than by name at that time. They seemed to know each other well. There was no groping or anything which suggested that this was not just a normal dance.
At the end of the evening, I was surprised when she suggested she come home with me. We weren't in my door five minutes before she was naked on my bed and we fucked for the first time. After the third explosion, we cuddled and slept soundly holding each other. In the morning we reprised that.
In the next few weeks, we saw each other every day and fucked. I fell in love or was it just lust with her, this sexy, sensual dynamo. One night she was quiet and distant. She told me she was pregnant. I was shocked. She said she'd have an abortion as she didn't want to tie me down. She loved me but this wasn't how she wanted us to be together.
We married as quickly as we could. Our daughter Jennifer was born prematurely. Melinda took her maternity leave but as soon as practicable she went back to work. She worked in one of Waylon's businesses. I later learned she was a personal assistant to him.
We still had a good sex life but we had arguments over her spending time travelling with Waylon. It was part of her work, she said. I wasn't happy. Somehow our arguments reached the ears of my boss. Aubrey piped up, "Waylon's a gentleman, you've no need to worry." I was reassured though to be honest I hadn't been aware that anything could be going on between them.
Yes!
I was that fucking gullible!
Two years after Jennifer, David arrived. Again, Melinda went back to work. She said we needed the money. In many ways she was right. My pay rises never seemed to be very big. Others seemed to be getting paid more but Aubrey said I was imagining things.
Once David was three, Melinda wanted another child but I said no. I'd need to find a new job, one which paid me what I was worth. We'd need to move. This set off a round of arguments which escalated.
Waylon came to our house, at Melinda's request, to ask me not to move. He relied on her, she was the best personal assistant he had ever had. Looking back his face was sneering, his words patronising. I told him, I was grossly underpaid and if we had more children as she wished, I'd have to go where I was paid appropriately.
Once Waylon left, Melinda didn't like what I said about her bringing Waylon into our arguments. The bedroom was a freezer for weeks. She went on two weeklong trips with him. My parents looked after the kids as I had to work. Her parents never bothered with them.
Aubrey reluctantly gave me a pay rise. Melinda knew about it before me and wanted to start making another baby. I saw the interference by Waylon. I said, "No way were we having a third child. I was spending more time than her with the kids as she was always off with Waylon. I'd look for a new job so she didn't need to work and then we would have a child. She'd be a stay-at-home mum."
That didn't go down well.
Our lives changed then quite a bit. Melinda wasn't so loving and I wasn't so amenable to her dropping everything to go with Waylon. Every couple of months we attended parties at his large house. Everyone meant a battle beforehand as I wanted nothing to do with him. The décor did not escape my eye in that it was a lot like Melinda would have wanted had I not refused her wishes at times. Whenever these parties came up, I made sure it was her parents who had the children. When she objected, I pointed out they never helped when she was galivanting with the arsehole.
Another bone of contention with Aubrey was that no matter how busy we were he never engaged another specialist like me. I could hardly get a week's holiday. I was working more hours and not being paid for them. It created more friction between us as I suggested moving to another part of the country where I'd be paid my worth.
On occasion, Melinda had no choice but to take the children with her if she was helping at Waylon's house. I was getting more and more pissed off at them telling me about how great Uncle Waylon was.
It all came to a head around three months ago. We had a family holiday arranged to a water park themed hotel in Tenerife. At the last moment, Melinda pulled out as she was needed by Waylon. She'd never seen me so angry. I made sure she knew how I felt over her prioritising him over her family and me. She was stunned when I told her to consider whether or not she should bother coming back at all.
It was halfway through the first week away when Aubrey called me. He wanted me back as drawings, reports needed signed off. He wasn't happy when I told him I was having my holidays with my children. Within an hour Melinda called to tell me to go back to work. I shouted, "Are you coming back to look after the kids. It's the school holidays or had you not realised."
Melinda said my parents could look after them. "No, they're on a three-week cruise. I'm having this holiday." I rang off.
When the kids were in bed at night, I looked at my life. It was not what I wanted. I didn't see any sign of love from Melinda. I recognised I was being played by Waylon and Aubrey but for what reason. I was a trusting person so the little things took a long time to materialise in my mind. By the end of the holiday, I knew something bad was going on and I had to change my life. I no longer saw any future with Melinda.
When the children and I returned, Melinda piled into me for not coming back to help Aubrey. I should have returned as Aubrey needed me. I surprised her by not backing down. I told her she should never have gone with Waylon as her children needed her. It was a good job we didn't have the third. She treated our home like a hotel. Was this even a marriage anymore? That didn't go down well. I'm sure the kids hid in their room. The argument raged for over half an hour before she strode away screaming abuse at me.
When I was due to start work, I made the first change. I went into work for my designated start time. I'd been going in two hours early to try and get the amount of work under control often leaving late if Melinda could be bothered to be home for the kids. Aubrey was beside himself with anger. He was incandescent that I hadn't returned.
I spoke quietly, firmly, "Aubrey, you treat me like shit. You pay others far more than me yet it's me who you need. I used the holiday to look around. I've been offered a consultancy post at considerably more than you're paying for a lot less hours. If you want me to stay, have a new pay deal on my desk. I'm only going to be working my contracted hours as you won't pay me for all the hours I do."
I went to HR and found out I had three months' notice to give and had thirty-three days leave to use up. So, in less than seven weeks I would be out of here if I wished.
The consultancy wasn't a job offer. While on holiday, I had spoken with a friend from university Donald whom I had kept up with. It was his suggestion. The law firm he was with was always looking for those with my specialist resumé for court work to establish fault and other matters. We'd work on this over the next few weeks.
I left at twelve and had my hour lunch before going back to the office. Aubrey was mad, "Where the fuck were you?"
I smiled, "At lunch."
