Lesser Gods Ch 06 09

I hope you are enjoying my little book. The plot continues to develop, as do the emotions in these chapters, but the fruition is still far away.

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Six

In the morning she found herself on top of her regular bedding, but under two other blankets, and dressed only in her underwear. She tried to remember being undressed, but couldn't. Her gown was hanging back on the wardrobe where she had first found it. Well, that was where it was going to stay because she was packing her own belongings and leaving this crazy place as soon as possible!

She got out of bed, dressed without showering, and began to throw her things into the two suitcases she had come with. She was almost finished when a knock came at her door. She opened the door expecting Mrs. Cook, but Grey stood before her, eyes brilliant blue and totally mesmerizing. She couldn't speak, couldn't move. Visions flew through her head: her riding horseback with Grey; her sitting at the side of a beautiful creek with Grey; her dressed in white lace tiptoeing to kiss Grey as people clapped from nearby pews.

She no longer doubted these were premonitions, she just couldn't figure out how this could possibly be her future with a man she despised and couldn't wait to get away from. At the same time, they caused her to feel so wonderful, she didn't know if she could tear herself away from them.

He blinked and lifted his line of sight to above her head, releasing her from the hold his eyes exerted. She immediately turned and strode back to the bed where she folded the last of her clothes and zipped shut the suitcase.

"When will my driver be here?" she asked without looking up.

"You still want to leave?" he asked.

"As soon as possible," she said, picking up both suitcases and starting for the door.

He reached out to take one of the bags from her and his hand touched hers. She dropped instantly to her knees, overwhelmed by emotions she had never felt before. Love so deep it had no end. Joy - not happiness which is fleeting, but joy – so full nothing could stop it. And peace; deep, abiding peace. She gasped for air feeling like the room had become a vacuum. Grey dropped to his knees beside her, apologizing, but she couldn't make out his words.

He stood and stepped away from her. She briefly regained the ability to breathe, but as the intense emotions receded, they left a gaping emptiness behind, stealing her breath away again. She began to weep bitterly.

After a moment that felt like a century, she felt a gentle pressure on the top of her head, and the gaping hole began to fill, slowly, peace washing over her. She turned swiftly and reached out, wrapping both arms around Grey's legs, weeping and laughing simultaneously. He stroked her hair until she was able to breathe normally again.

She felt foolish, confused, grateful, and strangely wanting. She backed up a bit and stood, looking down, afraid to meet his eyes.

"I'm sorry. I should have been more careful. I never know how my touch might affect a newly emerging gift," he said gently.

She saw his hand move toward her face and flinched away.

"It's all right," he said, "I know now how to control the effects." He reached for her chin again and lifted her face to meet his.

His touch had no affect this time, it was simply a touch. She closed her eyes, afraid of what she would see and feel if she looked into his eyes.

"Tell yourself you will only see what is in front of you. Repeat it over a few times. Mean it," he paused, then continued, "now, open your eyes, please."

She opened her eyes. He was there, just twelve inches away, but she saw no strange visions. She looked at him, just him, for a few moments. Those eyes were amazing! So blue, so deep, and rimmed in thick, dark lashes. His face was chiseled, jaw square, cheekbones high and slightly prominent. He was beautiful.

"Are you all right?" he asked, concern obvious on his face.

"Yeah," she whispered, then stronger, "yes, I mean. I'm not seeing or feeling anything that's not here."

He removed his hand from her chin, and she felt the loss of it. "I guess that's good, but I rather liked the things you saw."

She blushed and looked away as he smiled. He continued, "I know all of this has been hard on you. I didn't expect your abilities to progress so quickly, and I certainly didn't expect the content of those visions. I hope you will reconsider staying here. There really is so much that you need to know, so much you need to learn to control and use your gifts."

Her feelings, which had been so clear this morning when she woke up, were a jumble of conflicting emotions now. She wanted to get as far from this man as she could, and at the same time, to be held by him and to feel that peace and love again.

"I think I had better leave. I don't know how much of this I believe, but I know I'm so messed up right now that I don't think I can take in any more information," she turned away and paced to the window, just to put space between herself and Grey.

"I don't want this to sound manipulative," he said cautiously, "but I do want to point out that you've been dreaming of being chased by a powerful being. I believe your powers will be considered useful to the other side, and that dream is a premonition."

"If that's true, I'll be chased whether I stay or leave, so what's the difference," she asked logically.

"If you stay, you will learn critical skills to prepare for confrontation with the enemy. You also will have the backing of the entire North American Legion, which is nothing to underestimate," he replied.

She turned and looked at him again. A tiny wave of good feeling came over her. "Did you do that?" she asked.

"No. I wasn't doing anything. Listen," he took a step toward her, saw her flinch away and stopped, "I promise not to manipulate you in any way. I can't help the empathy, I can't turn it off, but I won't plant thoughts or memories, and I won't amplify your visions unless you ask me to. I can't completely turn off seeing what you see, but I can limit it, and I can try not to react to what I see. Would that make it easier for you to stay?" he asked earnestly.

"Perhaps. I need to think some more," she turned toward the window and looked out at the rolling hills and a tree line that seemed to follow a river or creek. "I will give it another day, and decide tomorrow whether I can stay here or not," she responded thoughtfully.

"That's good," he said with a touch of excitement, "I can teach you some things and you can decide if they are helpful. And I can tell you about our kind, and explain some of the rules, and..."

"No," she cut him off, "I want time to think, not to try to learn a bunch of stuff that will only confuse me more."

He looked disappointed, but quickly regained his composure. "I really must tell you a few things, even if you decide to leave immediately."

"How about at dinner? I will hopefully have cleared my head by then and you can tell me what you have to," she replied.

"If that is how it must be," he acquiesced quietly. "Will you join me for breakfast?"

"No," she said, seeing a flitting look of disappointment again, "I will have some coffee and take a bagel with me. I'm going to walk to that river there," she said pointing out the window, "I think best in nature."

"As you wish. I will tell Mrs. Haskins to pack you a small basket," he said, turning toward the door.

"Mrs. Who? Oh, do you mean Mrs. Cook, the woman who cleans and takes my laundry?" she asked, feeling silly as soon as it was out of her mouth.

"Her name is Haskins. Why do you call her Cook?" he asked, turning back to her.

"I didn't know their names," she said sheepishly, "so I named them Mrs. Cook and Mr. Butler, just so I wouldn't keep thinking of them as "servant"."

He smiled. "Clever. They are Mr. and Mrs. Haskins, though, so now you can think of them by the correct names." He turned again to go.

"Why don't they speak?" she asked quickly.

Turning toward her again she felt the tingle of his eyes on her. "They prayed diligently to serve the angels in the war of souls. They were approached with the opportunity to do just that, but they would have to give up most contact with other humans, and whenever contact might occur briefly, they would be unable to speak. They accepted and have worked here ever since."

"Seriously? They prayed for the opportunity to be household staff?" She asked incredulously.

He smiled and she felt a thrill up her spine. "Not specifically, but we try not to put too many humans in harm's way, and this was an assignment that needed filling. They were offered a choice of several and they felt most suited to this one."

"Oh. I guess if it was their choice..." she let the sentence drift off.

Turning again and reaching for the door, he said, "I will see you at dinner. We will have a third by then, since I already sent for Enrique. He will be helpful answering any questions you may have from the perspective of a half human."

"Enrique...oh, was he going to teach me to ride?" she asked, putting the pieces together as quickly as she could.

"Yes. He grew up on a horse ranch, and usually works in the southwest. He will be here later this morning," Grey said, stepping into the hall and glancing at her for the briefest moment before closing the door. She would swear the look he gave her was of deepest sadness.

Seven

Journal of a lesser god

She remains the day, to think and decide if she will stay. How I pray she decides to stay! She seems to be developing her gifts faster than any half human I have seen in over 3000 years. She will be in grave danger if she re-enters the human world, both from the humans who will feel her power, and from the enemy who will covet that power. I must make it clear to her the very real threat she is under if she leaves my protection.

I must admit, though, that my desire for her to stay goes far beyond my concern for her safety. The images she saw when she first looked in my eyes were striking and quite attractive. I have been alone for so very long, and her visions are so...enticing. I had noticed her, as a woman, but hadn't put much thought into it until I felt what she felt, saw what she saw! Now I can think of little else.

******

Mrs. Haskins had a basket ready for her that felt heavier than coffee and a bagel would warrant, but it was the, "Here you are my dear," that made her jump, and the flashes of the woman before her- working in the garden, in the kitchen, sitting in a rocker holding hands with her husband, and finally crying over a casket- that went through her mind that caused her to shake her head and tell herself firmly to see only what was really there.

Mrs. Haskins smiled shyly and apologized for her earlier silence.

"I understand that you were unable to speak before. Is that hard? Do you regret coming here to work?" Zoe asked, curious to understand why this couple had chosen this life.

Shaking her head she answered, "Oh no miss, we love it here. Mr. Grey is wonderful to work for, and we are helping, in our humble way, to keep good and evil balanced. There couldn't be any more important work than that. We don't have any special abilities, and aren't much for evangelizing, but we can care for the house and gardens of those who are good at those things. It's a way we can feel useful to God."

"So there is a 'God' above these lesser gods, a higher power who cares about humans," Zoe asked, continuing to fill in the gaps.

"You didn't know that? Oh, my dear, God loves you! He loves us all, and His legions work to care for us every minute of every day. Oh, we have so much to tell you," Mrs. Haskins went on, flustered and excited.

"Maybe another time," Zoe responded, backing toward the door. She had always avoided the religious types, the ones only too happy to force their beliefs down your throat. She certainly didn't want to be trapped here listening to fairy tales.

She laughed a little as she scooted out the door. Why not listen to fairy tales? She wouldn't have believed there were people like Grey in the world before yesterday. Even her own powers would have her heading to a shrink if they had manifested back home. Maybe all this fantasy was real after all. She laughed again, without humor.

******

The walk was soothing, and the small river was exactly what she needed as a background to her musings. She thought about all that had happened the past few days, what was real and what she just wasn't ready to accept yet. She thought about her visions of her own future, which inevitably made her think about Grey. What did she feel about him? It was almost impossible to sort out her true feelings from the rush of emotions she felt when her gift activated by his eyes or his touch. And what about his touch? She had definitely liked him taking her chin and moving her to face him. But that was right after the intense feelings from brushing his hand, and his calming touch to quell the emptiness. How could she possibly know what she felt about him when every interaction brought on so many intense feelings that had nothing to do with the present moment?

She put aside those thoughts and tried to think about his offer to teach her. She had so many questions, but was this the right way to get answers? Of course, she didn't have any other obvious way to get answers. Her mother had died two years ago, and she had no other family. Her father? She tried to remember if Grey had said where her father was now. Did he talk about her father in the past tense, indicating he must be dead as well? She couldn't remember.

She tried to clear her mind by listening to the water burble and swish over some rocks nearby. Suddenly she was seeing her visions again: sitting by a river like this with Grey; marrying him; being intimate. No! She stopped her thoughts with a command. She was never going to be able to think straight about Grey as long as the future, no, a future, kept intruding. She refused to believe the future was unchangeable, so what she saw was just one possible future. She mentally built a room and forced each of those visions into it, shutting the door behind them. Now, maybe, she could concentrate on the present.

She continued to mull over the pros and cons of remaining here until her stomach told her it was lunch time. She considered eating more of the food Mrs. Haskins had packed, but decided a real lunch would help her think more clearly.

When she entered the yard of the mansion she heard horses from inside the barn. She detoured to take a look. The first stall contained a paint. It was a beautiful horse, and it put its muzzle right into her neck when she came near to look at it. "Well hey there friendly," she said to it, scratching between its ears then patting the side of its neck. Horses were really huge up close, and her fear began to rise, but the horse nuzzled her again and she wished she had some kind of treat for it.

"He's flirting in hopes you have an apple for him, aren't you Major?" a deep, slightly accented voice came from behind her.

She jumped and turned to find a man of Hispanic descent standing just two feet behind her and reaching past her to give the horse a good natured tap on the muzzle. This must be Enrique. He was tall, well over 6 feet, and even more broad across the shoulders than Grey. His skin was a smooth coffee and cream color, his long hair jet black and pulled into a ponytail down his back. He had warm brown eyes lined with thick lashes, and full lips pulled back to show a gleaming white smile.

Her heart was racing and as she blinked she saw herself riding with him, laughing and standing close to him, wrapping a wound, and kissing him. How many men was she going to see herself kissing in these visions? She really didn't make it a habit to date every man she met. In fact, she had only seriously dated three men ever, and seldom went out more than once with the handful of others she had dated, so there was very little kissing in her history. What was it with these angels anyway?

Apparently Enrique was not a mind reader because he looked at her expectantly when she didn't say anything right away. Realizing being lost in visions when meeting new people was rude, she quickly said, "hello. You must be Enrique. I'm Zoe." And stuck out her hand.

He shook hands with her and said, "I'm happy to meet you. You've already met Major here. Would you like to meet everyone else?"

"Sure," she said, but still a little hesitant, being so close to these big, powerful creatures, she asked, "Is everyone as friendly as Major?"

"Not quite. They are all excellent animals, but some are a little more stand-offish than Major here." He noticed the tension in her face and quickly said, "None bite. And none would throw you if you tried to mount them, they just aren't as outgoing as Major."

Feeling some relief, she turned to the stall behind her where a jet black horse stood staring intelligently at her. This horse was even bigger than Major, and it's muscles stood out clearly under its shiny coat.

"This is War Monger. He got a name change as a one-year-old because he wouldn't leave the other horses alone, always nipping at them or pushing them out of his way. He was hard to break, but now he's an incredible steed," Enrique continued. "He just shouldn't be ridden by an inexperienced rider. He needs a firm hand."

Stepping farther into the barn, Zoe saw the most beautiful horse she had ever seen. A rich, chestnut brown with black main and tail and a white star on its forehead, this horse was about the size of the paint. What made this animal special were its eyes. The eyes were gentle and thoughtful, and Zoe felt immediately drawn to it. The horse seemed to feel the draw as well, and stepped to the stall door and put its head out toward Zoe who reached up and stroked it.

"That's what I expected," Enrique said, nodding, "This is Naomi. She is a woman's horse. She lets men care for and ride her, but she really shines when she's ridden by a woman. I think the two of you have a connection."

Naomi nuzzled against Zoe and Zoe reached around her head to stroke her jaw. Zoe closed her eyes and saw herself riding Naomi across a snowy field. The feeling of connection was amazing. She may not understand her visions of the men, but this premonition was clear, she and Naomi were meant to work together.

"Would you like to start lessons today?" Enrique asked, reaching for the tack hanging beside the stall.

"Yes," Zoe answered without even thinking, "but I need to get some lunch first. Have you eaten?"

"No, but that sounds like a great idea. Let's head inside."

During lunch, Zoe asked Enrique how well he knew Grey.

"I've known him almost 50 years now," he responded.

"Really! Fifty years, but you look about 25." Zoe said, confused.

"Once you manifest your powers, at around 25, your aging slows way down, something like four or five centuries pass for every year older you look," Enrique answered matter-of-factly.

"So how old is Grey?" she asked, trying to calculate in her head.

"Old. At least three or four millennia. I never asked," he shrugged, unconcerned.

"So what do you think of him?" she asked, trying to get a handle on who Grey really was.

"He's great! One of the few who never went through a dark period. He really cares about all of us, and the humans of course. He makes sure everyone is well prepared for any assignment he gives them, and he never puts us in needless danger," Enrique expounded.

"But don't you think he's too cautious sometimes? I mean, he could intervene to prevent a tragedy, but he doesn't." she asked, wanting to hear that Enrique secretly disagreed with Grey's approach.

"No. If Grey thinks it's out of his hands, it's for a good reason. We can't interfere with free-will. All we can do is mitigate evil."