"Let me see if I have this right. You're telling me that the internet has stories alleging that Steve Hammer and my mother are involved in an ongoing affair. Is that accurate?" asked Gwen calmly.
"Yes, that pretty well sums it up. What is your response to this affair?" asked the reporter doggedly.
"You told me just in time! I was going to accuse my grandmother of trying to steal Steve away. I almost made a terrible mistake!" admitted Gwen with a twinkle in her eye.
"Excuse me? Did you just say that you thought your grandmother was having an affair with your boyfriend, Steve Hammer?" repeated the stunned reporter.
"Yeah. See how stupid it sounds?" laughed Gwen. "Yesterday, I was asked if I would serve in congress if I were elected by write-in ballots. I agreed that I would. Today I'm told that there are stories on the internet claiming my boyfriend and mother are sexually involved. Coincidence? I think not.
"The amusing part of this is that Steve and I are in show business where it's said that all publicity is good, as long as they spell our names right. Sadly, stupid rumors like this will simply sell more CD's and movies.
"Can I assume that you can't identify the source of these rumors? In an effort to derail my imaginary political career, the perpetrators of these foolish stories have probably helped me in my movie career, even as tasteless and cruel as these rumors are. As far as my non-existent political career goes, I strongly urge anyone that believes that Steve and my mother would betray me and my father in this manner, to vote accordingly. If they choose to believe this attack on me and my family, they really shouldn't consider me for a write-in candidate for any office, even for dog catcher.
"However, if voters believe in Steve, in his honor and his love for me and respect for my dad; if they believe in my mother's love and respect for my dad and for me, they'll realize what a sorry-ass attempt this rumor is. They'll ask where it started, and who started it. Crap like this is why I wouldn't actually run for political office. This so-called rumor isn't worth the effort it would require to disprove, or deny."
"How did I handle that?" asked Gwen once the reporter left.
"I thought you did great, except that I worry about your grandmother's reputation," replied Steve, attempting to keep a straight face. "This is exactly what Governor O'Leary warned us about, except it's happening much sooner than I expected. If people believed stories like that about us, we'd have no reason to even consider any sort of public service."
After another well received concert, the gang rode ten miles to a motel where the company had reserved ten rooms for them for the night. Across the street was a Denny's that was still open, so the group wound up there. Soon the friends were recounting their impressions of the day.
"Mom called while you were performing. She saw your interview and was proud of how you handled it. She didn't seem all that upset about being linked romantically with Steve. I guess even older married women have Steve fantasies. Grandma was especially happy with your response! She said that she wouldn't mind if rumors about her and Steve circulated. She thought your answer was perfect. How did you think to make a joke of it?" asked Kate as everyone waited for their orders to arrive.
"Because the entire thing is laughable," responded Gwen. "Mom is still very beautiful, but we all know what happens to women that fall in love with Steve. Mom is one of those women, one of us women, to be honest. We know that Steve places a very high value on integrity and loyalty. If Mom, or Lisa, or Kate, or Naomi, or Charlotte, or Ashley, or Becky, or Stephanie, or Aunt Diane, or Nadiya tried to get Steve to sleep with them, he'd think less of them. We all know that's a fact. Like the rest of you, Mom loves Steve too much to risk losing his respect, friendship, and love. Besides, neither she nor Steve would ever disrespect Dad or me that way."
"You sound awfully sure of yourself," observed Charlotte. "What about all of the women that don't care or understand how Steve feels about loyalty. The ones that just want to climb on the sexiest man in the world and take him for a ride?"
"You said that with way too much enthusiasm!" complained Billy. "Unless you're saying that I'm the sexiest man in the world!."
"It's a tossup between you and Steve," laughed Charlotte. "Honestly, I think you have the same values as Steve in that regard. You're not going to dishonor me, or yourself that way. You're actually a very good man and a great boyfriend."
"Up to a point," agreed Billy. "Just tell Gwen's mom not to tempt me. I'm only human."
"Hey! Let's not keep bringing my mother into these discussions," insisted Kate. "I never realized how much you men appreciated older women. Just get Mom out of your heads."
"Gwen handled it well and I think it'll be a good guide for her responses to the stupid questions and rumors she'll face between now and the election," offered Steve. "There's another issue I'd like to discuss with everyone. Kate's brush with those cartel guys the other night has started me worrying. That in turn, caused me to try to come up with a solution.
"We're very wealthy, famous, and approachable. That's a good thing, for the most part. It's my feeling that we need to take steps to protect our friends and family, especially the kids that will be cropping up before too long. Lisa's already pregnant, Jordan's engaged and she's mentioned she'd like a family, and the rest of the ladies here have biological clocks ticking," joked Steve as Gwen and Ashley poked him in each arm.
"My feeling is that the company should purchase a large tract of land and build a dozen or more homes on it, as needed. Personally, I would all of our close friends and family to live in this new community, if possible. You'd each have a place to call your own, except for the obvious couples, who would share a home. Lisa and Jason would have one home, as would Gwen and I, Jordan and Charlie, and probably Charlotte and Billy. Mark and Chip would always be welcome. No homes of your own at this point, guys. I'd want Naomi, Ashley, Becky, and Will and Diane to live there, too."
"My thinking is that we'd have a manned gate, a very good fence or wall around the perimeter with electronic surveillance, as well as all state-of-the-art equipment to maintain privacy and safety. When we were at home, there'd be no reporters, no sight-seers, no salesmen, and no crazy bastards, unless Chip drops by.
"The other advantage is that I'd know that when I wasn't home, Jason, or Billy, or Jared, or Charlie, or Ted, or any combination thereof would be there to handle any problems our loved ones may face."
