Chapter 23
Adrenaline was most of what carried me as I forced myself to walk past the safety grounds of the University. I was not quite as frantic or emotional as I had been before, but that didn't mean that those feelings were gone. It meant that I was functionally managing to keep them suppressed so that I could move one foot in front of the other. This sort of feeling was not one that was entirely new to me. It was the same as what I had felt when carrying Zolreya out of the cave. I was just in a position where I wasn't allowing myself any other option than to be utilitarian in my actions. For the moment, I supposed this to be enough.
My shaky feelings of unease reminded me of when I had left ... well ... other places I had once thought of as home. Leaving for college with the knowledge that I could never go back to my family. Only a few years later-screaming, a fist beating at my door. A frantic phone call with the abuse hotline. Being kept up all night by the unbearable stomach pain during my first night at the women's shelter. Driving to the home of friends who offered me a place to stay ... a thirty-one-hour drive away. Making the entire drive without rest because I was too terrified to stop my car.
Though I tried hard not to remember or think about the specifics of my past, the flashbacks were sometimes impossible to escape. I shook my head and forced a sigh-my coping mechanism for the flashbacks. I muttered to myself, "It's a hallucination. It happened, but it's not real anymore. You're here, walking toward the Other Place. You're not in the past, you're not in a scary hypothetical future, you're right here. You're okay, you're alright." I bumped my hand against my side a few times, until the combined effort of all of these brought me fully back to the road I was currently walking.
From his ranch, the rooster-riding imp I'd seen before gave a friendly and languid wave.
I waved back, the motion feeling good even if forced and a bit unnatural at the moment. Then I continued to walk in silence.
Without Daava here keeping me company, the journey seemed quite a bit longer than it had before. I ... very much did not like it, but forced one foot in front of the other. Though time crawled by miserably, the minutes did eventually add up.
Eventually, I made it back to the Temple of Kavtagro-where I had first gotten my robe and sandals. For a moment, I felt the temptation to go inside the temple and look around. However, I knew without thinking too hard that this was just delaying the inevitable. I glanced down once more at the scar on my foot and began down the other path I could have taken.
I was not particularly surprised to find that the path to the Other Place was downhill, unlike the University. Whether from ham-fisted religious or societal allegory, it seemed exactly the sort of lazy worldbuilding that I had grown used to from Kavtagro-the slothful deity of this realm. I decided to just consider myself lucky that the sides of the path were not empty desert lands overtaken by ads for tacky sex shops and strip clubs.
Instead, it seemed to be mostly rice fields-looking almost like wetlands surrounded by red clay soil. The people working these fields were of various races-just like the ranches and farms uphill-and plenty gave a pleasant wave as I walked by.
For as scared as the new scenery made me just for not being something familiar and comfortable, the new sights made the walk feel not nearly as long and tedious as before.
I was a bit surprised when I saw the outline of a familiar building. Just like the auditorium at Kink University and the Temple of Kavtagro, this third structure was a duplicate. Like the others, it could best be described as an attempt at ancient Greek temples but done entirely in black stone, gargoyles on top. I'm sure it was a mixture that would leave any expert on building techniques wanting to gouge their eyes out.