When Julie and Ashlee arrived back at the house after dropping off Greg and picking up Julie's car at the mall, Ashlee appeared ready to burst.
"Well?" she asked expectantly.
It was obvious what she wanted, but Julie had no intention of divulging details.
"Well, what?" she replied.
"C'mon!" Ashlee laughed. "I never saw a more obvious JBF smile." Julie blinked, clueless.
"JBF?"
"Just been fucked," Ashlee answered with an accusing smile. Julie felt the color rising in her cheeks. Was there really something in her face that gave her away? Of course, Ashlee had helped orchestrate the whole rendezvous and she already knew damn right well that Julie and Greg hadn't sat around playing backgammon! But the idea that someone could look at her and tell, well... it didn't seem out of the question.
"I'm not talking about it," she told Ashlee, trying to give her friend a stern look that said there was no compromise. But Ashlee's expression of mirth undid Julie's efforts and she was forced to look away.
"Did you go down on him?"
"ASH!" Julie squealed, incredulous at her friend's brazen question. In spite of herself, she almost waggled her jaw involuntarily. The muscles were still sore from accommodating Greg's significant girth. She caught herself just in time, mortified that she had almost given herself away in such obvious fashion.
"I'll take that as a yes," Ashlee replied with a smug, satisfied look on her face. "Did he tell you to do it?"
"Jesus, Ash!"
"'Cause if he told me to, well..." she pantomimed giving a blow job, moving her curled hand back and forth in front of her mouth, timing it with poking her tongue against the inside of her cheek. In spite of herself, Julie laughed.
"My God, Ash! Get a grip!" Julie laughed, immediately realizing that her choice of words was playing into Ashlee's hands. So to speak.
"That's exactly what I was talking about!" She sat on the couch and looked at Julie in a way that made Julie feel like she was in an interrogation room, a bright light shining down on her. "So what are you going to tell me?"
"Nothing!" Julie said with indignation that was only partially feigned.
"Oh, come on! At least tell me how many times!"
"Jesus, Ash!" Julie protested. "I can't talk about things like that!"
"Okay, don't tell me," responded Ashlee. She turned her body three-quarters away from Julie and crossed her arms in a playful mimic of a pouting child. "I'll just make it up in my head however I want to." She shot Julie a sly glance out of the corner of her eye before continuing. "'Oh, Greggie, I'm so glad you're here!'" she squeaked, mockingly. Then in a deeper, manly voice, "'Suck my damn dick, woman!' 'Oh, yes, Greggie!'"
Ashlee burst out laughing as Julie sat silent with a bemused grin on her face. Julie didn't want to give Ashlee any reaction, but it took some effort. Again, Julie was surprised how accurate, if absurdly exaggerated, Ashlee's assessment was. Not that it should have surprised her. But it did.
"I think I'm going to bed now," Julie said when Ashlee's laughter abated. Ashlee looked at her and raised an eyebrow speculatively.
"I know it's not, you know... the way you are. To talk about this stuff," Ashlee said, her smile fading and real compassion surfacing in her eyes. "But if you need me..." She let the words hang in the air between them for a moment. Then Ashlee gave Julie a quick but firm hug. "I'm here for you. Okay?"
Julie found herself absurdly moved by her friend's words. Suddenly, tears were threatening to well in her eyes. She blinked hard, refusing to shed one. Especially a tear so maudlin. She gave Ashlee a nod and a quick smile and hurried off to bed.
Once in the safety of her room, comfortable between the sheets, Julie let herself think about Greg again. And Ashlee.
Everything about Greg, the way he had awakened her sexually, the way she lost herself in him was so new to her. But Ashlee seemed to know all about it in the blink of an eye. It was a reminder that what Julie was experiencing might be new to her, but it was well known territory to others. It made it easy for Ashlee to read Julie. It made Julie feel almost naked.
But there was something else, not as scary. Yes, Ashlee already knew what Julie was just discovering. There was a little bit of reassurance in that what Julie was going through wasn't so unusual. There was nothing wrong with her for enjoying things now that had at one time seemed incomprehensible, if not downright offensive, to her.
If anything, Julie was finding herself being more natural in her sex with Greg than she ever was with Gary. She still didn't understand it completely, but clearly the intellectual, reasoning side of her that had dominated all aspects of her life before only interfered with her ability to let go and fully enjoy sex. Like she could do now with Greg. Because when she was with him, she didn't think about it. She just did what he wanted and it worked. Like nothing had ever worked so well for her before.
Julie snuggled into the bed, smiling as she remembered how she had laid here in Greg's arms. Remembering how she felt his touch, the way he communicated how he felt. He might never be a man for a committed relationship. He might never be capable of telling her that he loved her. Not in words anyway.