Julie Ch 17

When Julie arrived at the house, a lot of weird vibes came over her. This was her house, but she totally felt like a visitor. She didn't pull around to the back and park in the garage. She parked in the driveway at the front of the house and walked up to the front door, something she and Gary never did.

She hesitated at the door. Should she just open the door and walk in? She didn't feel like it was her place to do that. Such a strange notion, considering she had lived here with Gary for five years. It would feel equally wrong to ring the doorbell too though.

As she stood on the top step considering, the door opened. Gary greeted her with a very unenthusiastic 'hi' and held the door to let her in.

One look at him brought tons of guilt down on Julie instantly. He looked terrible. His eyes were red and there were bags under them. He hadn't shaved in the last couple days at least. And he was dressed in old, wrinkled clothes that clearly said he was paying absolutely no attention to what he looked like.

He said nothing as he led her to the kitchen table.

"Want anything to drink?" he offered in a monotone. Julie shook her head and sat down. He sat opposite her and for a long, almost painful minute or two, he looked at her, saying nothing.

"I... uh... I've been doing a lot of thinking," he began, then sat in silence for another long moment. Julie was almost about to say something, just to relieve the tension of the silence, when he continued. "Naturally, I'm a bit... hurt. Confused. And pretty fucking pissed off." He shot her a serious look. Then his eyes shifted down to the table and he lapsed into silence again.

"But I'm trying to see the bigger picture," he continued at last. "What happened... the other night..." he looked at her, then away, his eyes focusing off in the distance. "I guess there was something... I mean, obviously I wasn't, um, meeting all your needs." He shrugged, still looking away.

What the hell was he saying, Julie wondered?

"If we're going to make this work," he continued, turning his eyes on Julies, "you have to tell me. Talk to me. Let me know that there are things you want that you aren't getting."

Make this work? Oh, God! Julie realized. Gary was talking about staying together. Working things out. Jesus! How could he even be thinking about that? So soon after he had discovered?

Julie felt a crushing guilt descend on her. She had already written off her marriage and assumed that Gary had done the same. In fact, hadn't she used Gary's almost certain rejection of her as her excuse to return to Greg's bed?

Gary looked at Julie, expecting some reaction or response, some sign that she agreed. Julie didn't know what to say. She nodded mutely. Gary seemed to accept that as her concurrence.

"So..." he continued, "I was thinking about, you know, something to help us. Some sort of... counseling or..." He shrugged, not looking at her. Julie blinked. She still couldn't believe her ears.

It was bad enough Gary had caught her in the act... but oh what an act it had been! He had witnessed her doing things with another man that she had never done with him. And even after that, he wanted to go to couples' counseling?

The pit of Julie's stomach churned with self-loathing. God, if Gary could forgive her... If he loved her enough to try to stay together... If he considered himself partly to blame for neglecting her needs...

And Julie? How had she responded? By assuming that Gary would divorce her. Why had she been so dismissive of this man when he clearly was not so fast to give up on her?

Because it suited her desires to assume he would never take her back. Julie wanted to return to Greg's bed. She wanted to be with Greg. So she had decided that Gary could never forgive her.

Really, was she completely surprised at Gary's response?

No, she couldn't honestly say that she was. Gary had always been understanding. Perhaps too understanding. And not demanding enough.

How the hell could he sit there and talk to her about couples' counseling? He should be screaming at her. Telling her what a fucking lying, cheating, piece-of-shit slut she was. How he was going to take her to the cleaners in the divorce. How he was going to tell all their friends and family what a dirty cocksucking whore she was.

He should tell her to get on her knees and beg to be forgiven. Then tell her to suck his cock like she had sucked Greg's. Not that she would. But at least she would have some respect for him if he tried. But it simply wasn't in Gary.

Julie was beginning to see Gary through Ashlee's eyes. Beginning to understand why Ashlee didn't think much of him. He was, well... wimpy.

He might be a wonderful, caring man. He might try to understand and love her no matter what she did, even when she hurt him so terribly. But he could never bring out the woman in Julie the way Greg did.

"I, uh... found a few places on the internet," Gary continued, apparently taking Julie's silence as agreement. He produced a piece of paper and placed it in front of her.

Julie looked down at it, hardly able to focus on it or anything around her. This still seemed so surreal. And the weight of her own feelings, her own guilt, threatened to crush her where she sat.

She forced her eyes to digest the words on the page. They were marriage counselor listings. Julie felt her body start to shake slightly. Just a tremble here and there, really, but each felt as noticeable as an earthquake.

Julie wanted to cry, wanted to run away. She wanted to never have to face the horrible things she had done and the consequences of those actions. And if she had to face them, she wanted them to be presented in as adversarial way as possible. She wanted him to scream at her, degrade her, threaten her.

That's what she expected. It was what she honestly felt she deserved. She could deal with it. It would make her cry, but at the same time it would release her to go to Greg.

This... this didn't accomplish any of that.

How could Julie sit in front of a marriage counselor with Gary and try to "work things out" when she would be thinking about Greg the whole time? Less than two hours ago, Julie had been kneeling with Greg's cock in her mouth, eager to suck him to orgasm.

What did she think she was going to do when she left here? Retreat to Ashlee's in a fit of shame and remorse? No, she was going to head straight back to Greg's. Hadn't she already packed a bag? Didn't she already have the skirt Greg had wanted to see her in out in her car?

So why was she sitting here with Gary maintaining this charade?

She looked into Gary's eyes. There was soul in them. And deep wells of compassion and love. She averted her eyes.

How could she do this to him? He deserved so much better than this!

"I, uh... I'll take a look at these," Julie said, indicating the list, knowing she was lying even as she said it. Why was she going through this? Why was she maintaining this façade?

They sat across the table from each other, barely able to look into each others' eyes, making sporadic conversation about things like 'getting past' this and 'moving on with their lives.' Julie didn't really know what any of it really meant. She nodded agreeably and even added words of concurrence. But she didn't know why. Was she really going to choose to stay with Gary?

Greg, after all, was likely a flash in the pan. When the excitement waned, would he stick around for the mundane, day-to-day life that was the reality of a long term relationship? Or would he latch on to a new skirt and see where that took him?

Gary, on the other hand... it seemed there was nothing Julie could do to lose his love. Wasn't that worth something? Shouldn't Julie seriously consider counseling or whatever it took to heal this wound?

As much as her head and heart agreed that that was the "right" thing to do, there was no doubt in either that Julie would not make that choice. As completely self-destructive as a relationship with Greg might be, that was where Julie was headed. She just couldn't stop herself now if she wanted to. It didn't really matter what Gary said or did now. She was too far gone.

After almost an hour of difficult, stop-and-start discussion, Julie left. By the time she got to her car, she felt physically sick. Her hands were shaking so much that she had trouble putting the key in the ignition. Was she throwing her whole life away?

She had the perfect life before Greg. A loving husband, a promising career, a beautiful house... Was she going to let that all go? To be with Greg? It wasn't like Greg was going to give anything up to be with her. And when he was done being with her, he could move on without it costing him anything.

After it had cost her everything.

Was that really the situation Julie wanted to be in?

Of course not. At yet... she was powerless, it seemed, to turn away from Greg. His influence over her was disconcerting. She had never been like that with any man before. It was plain scary that, confronted with all these obvious facts, Julie was still going to drive right over there to be with him tonight. After this horrible confrontation and the shame and guilt that it had evoked in her.

On the way, she pulled out her cell and called Ashlee.

"You, uh, you aren't going to believe this," Julie told her friend. "He wants us to go to counseling. To work things out."

"What?" Ashlee's voice was incredulous. Or maybe contemptuous. Or both.

"Yeah, he actually said it was partly his fault for not, uh... meeting my needs."

"What?" Ashlee's incredulity went up a notch or two. "Are you kidding me?"

"I'm telling you what he told me," Julie said. Ashlee's reaction only served to confirm how surprising it was that Gary wanted to work things out.

"He's up to something," Ashlee asserted. "No man just blames himself for his wife cheating. Especially right after it happens." Julie nodded absently, only distantly aware that it was a pointless gesture over the phone. She didn't really know what Ashlee meant. What could Gary possibly be up to?

"You don't think he got, you know, turned on seeing you with another guy, do you?" Ashlee asked after a moment or so of silence.

"Huh?"

"You know," Ashlee said. "Maybe he got turned on seeing you with another man." Another silence ensued. Julie didn't really think that could be the case. Or could it? "I'm sure you've heard of guys that get off on watching their women with other men, right?"

"I guess," Julie answered, not really sure if she had or not.

"Come on, Jule," Ashlee pressed, apparently sensing Julie's skepticism. "It wouldn't be the strangest thing you ever heard of, would it?"

"No, but maybe this isn't about sex," Julie replied, a new theory beginning to take shape in her head. "Maybe he knows it's over and he's doing this to... I don't know... guilt me into conceding whatever he wants in the divorce." That would be a rather manipulative tactic, very un-Gary-like. But then, after what she had done to him, should she really be surprised that he would resort to something like that?

"Nah," Ashlee answered dismissively. "Why would he bother when he's already got the upper hand?" True, Julie thought. He already held the all the cards. He would easily come out far better than Julie in any divorce proceedings. Why would he bother with anything elaborate like Julie was envisioning?

"It's got something to do with sex," Ashlee asserted again. "And don't be surprised if there isn't something weird or kinky about it."

Ashlee could be right, Julie conceded. At least that it was about sex. Ashlee didn't know the whole story though. Sure, she knew Gary had caught her in the act. But Julie had never divulged the details as to what Gary had actually seen.

Maybe what Gary wanted was a chance to do those things with Julie himself. Fuck her savagely from behind, then shove his sticky cock in her mouth and cum. And, of course, watch Julie swallow his sperm.

If sex was at the root of Gary's motivation for saving their marriage, that was probably why. Not because he wanted to see her fucking and sucking someone else.

Julie wasn't about to explain all that to Ashlee, of course. Ashlee already thought Gary was a bit of a wimp, so it was convenient to let her believe that Gary wanted to watch.

But something still nagged at Julie's thoughts. Was it really about sex? Or did Gary have some other angle? Julie was confused and exhausted.

"You coming home tonight, kiddo?" Ashlee asked. Ashlee already knew that Julie had packed a bag to spend the night at Greg's. Was Ashlee asking if Julie had changed her mind? Or was she making a point?

"No, I'm going to Greg's," Julie said, trying to sound matter-of-fact. "He'll have roommates after tonight, so..."

"Well, have fun," Ashlee said, sounding sincere. "Call me if you need anything. Okay, kiddo?"

"Okay. Thanks, Ash."

Julie hung up the phone as she pulled into Greg's complex. She pulled up in front of his unit and sat in the car for a moment, collecting her thoughts.

Yes, this was where she wanted to be tonight. Not at Ashlee's. Not in her own house with her own husband either. Here with Greg. With a deep breath to calm herself, Julie got out of the car, retrieved her clothes bag and went up to the front door.

When Greg opened it for her, when she saw his face, his eyes and the way he looked at her... That was all the reassurance she needed. She was in the right place.

Greg let her in and gave her a kiss. It warmed Julie's insides and dispelled all the turmoil and guilt. Maybe she was doing something terrible to Gary, but Greg's kiss told her that she had no choice. She had to.

"How's your husband doing?" Greg asked with a smirk as Julie put her things down. His question startled her and she turned to face him, confused. Then she saw the predatory curl of his lips, the arrogance and began to understand.

"Did you tell him you had to leave because you had to get back here to suck my cock?" he asked. Julie gasped, partly in surprise, but more in arousal. She flashed back to the way Greg had made her kneel and put his cock in her mouth before she left to see Gary.

She had never considered not coming back here. In spite of Gary's unexpected willingness to work on saving their marriage, Julie had not even thought about going anywhere but to Greg when she had left.

And part of that might have been for the kiss Greg gave her when she walked in the door. God knew it was a powerful kiss, capable of allaying all her doubts. But it wasn't just for the kiss, was it?

"Did you tell him I made you put it in your mouth before you went to see him?" His words were eliciting butterflies in her belly and warm wetness in her pussy. She gasped again, this time completely due to the fire he was sparking in her. God, it made her feel like such a slut! She had sat across the table from Gary just an hour or so after having Greg's cock in her mouth. And now, not an hour after that, she was just waiting for Greg to order her to her knees once again.

"Did you tell him you swallowed my cum this morning?" he asked as he reached out and pinched Julie's now-erect nipple through her clothes. Her whole body shuddered. "And that you were coming back here to swallow more of it tonight?" A little squeal escaped from her as her body shook again.

He was making her feel so dirty. That after all she had just been through tonight, she was still more interested in sucking Greg's cock than anything else. Gary was sitting around in an empty house, looking up marriage counselors on the internet. While Julie, his wife, was dripping wet, waiting expectantly for her lover to tell her to suck his cock.

"Did he call you a slut? A whore?" Greg asked. "If only he knew, right? If he knew what a cocksucker you've turned into. But you didn't tell him, did you?"

God, Julie wanted so desperately just to drop before him and tug his cock from his pants. But she knew this was Greg's game. He wasn't done toying with her yet. And God help her, she was sooo enjoying being his toy. Somehow, he was using her guilt and shame to heighten the sexual intensity of the moment. It was dark and scary that she could respond to that. And scarier still how much she was loving it.

"You can't wait for me to tell you, can you?" Greg asked, his voice low and husky. "Look how hard your nipples are," he squeezed her again, "just thinking about it." The pinch wasn't hard, but it was enough to send a bolt of lightning through her, force a short, sharp cry from her lips. "How wet is your pussy right now?" Greg continued, his eyes boring into hers with an intensity that made her knees shake.

"And you aren't wet 'cause you're thinking about getting laid, are you?" Greg looked at her and she gave a brief shake of her head. "No, that's right. You're getting all wet 'cause you know I'm going to have you suck my cock, right?" She let out another gasp as she nodded. Oh, God! Greg just knew how to push all her buttons, didn't he? He reached out and brushed each of her nipples where they were pushing through the fabric of her shirt and bra. It was electrifying, the wetness between her legs surging immediately in response.

"Take of your shirt," he told her. Her heart beating faster, her breathing getting more rapid too, Julie pulled her shirt off and stood before him in her bra. His eyes roamed up and down her, pausing to relish the way her nipples stood out so prominently. He pushed one cup aside far enough for the nipple to spring free, then he gave it a firm pinch. Julie moaned and quivered as her pussy poured more wetness into her panties.

Greg let her stand there, shirtless and partly exposed for what seemed like a very long time, just running his eyes over her and occasionally pinching her nipple. She felt like she was on display for him. Every passing second, every heartbeat only heightened her anticipation, her longing. It was such an incredibly exquisite torture to stand her and wait this way, feeling dirty and shameful... and being so damn turned on by it.

"He walked in on us before we finished, didn't he?" Julie knew automatically what Greg was talking about. Gary had seen her do things with Greg that she had never done with him. "He saw it all, didn't he?" Julie quivered and gasped again. "He saw what a nasty little slut you've turned into."

Yes, she truly was a nasty little slut. She should be cringing, mortified that her husband had seen her doing what she had done. But she didn't care. All she wanted was Greg. To get on her knees and please him. Be his slut.

"He watched you," Greg went on, sending more and stronger thrills through her body. "Your husband watched you put my cock in your mouth. Your husband watched you swallow my load." Greg's words buffeted her, making her feel like the floor she was standing on was shifting under her feet.

Julie had had the exact same thoughts, hadn't she? Except when she had thought them, she had been guilt-riddled. It was quite another thing to hear Greg recount her crimes. Sure, the shame and guilt were still there, but resulting in such a different effect!

"And you want to do it again right now, don't you?" It wasn't really a question. "What would he say if he could see how bad you want my cock in your mouth right now? If he knew you were about to swallow more of my cum?" Greg ran a finger lightly across Julie's quivering lips.

"Julie," Greg breathed. Julie sucked in a deep breath. She knew what came next. "Get on your knees." A little whimper of delight slipped out of her as she got down on her knees before him, obediently looking up and waiting for his instructions.

The thoughts Greg had started whirling in Julie's head, that she was a slut, an adulteress, a dirty cocksucker, were all affirmed when her knees touched the floor. She was all of those things. And judging by the racing of her heart and the dripping of her pussy, she was grateful for the opportunity to be any and all of them.