Gary was standing in the bedroom doorway, slack-jawed, speechless. For the longest time after Julie saw him, he just stood there. Greg, whose back was three-quarters to the doorway, obviously realized something was wrong and turned around.
"Oh, shit," he groaned. His words shattered Julie's paralysis. She leapt from the bed and ran sobbing into the master bathroom. She fell to the floor crying. Her mind was not responding. Her stomach was convulsing, the tears beginning to stream from her eyes. But her brain, the part of her that she always considered her most resilient feature, simply went blank.
Then she heard screaming. Gary. He was screaming at Greg. That finally jarred her enough to get her thoughts moving again. Greg was big, strong, physically fit. Gary was much smaller and weaker, yet Gary sounded like he was about to start a fight with Greg. He'd get killed, Julie knew.
That was enough to propel her back to her feet. As she turned to intervene, she saw Gary rush at Greg. She screamed for him to stop. But it was too late. Gary charged toward Greg, arms flailing. But, to Julie's immense relief, Greg didn't hit him. Instead, he pushed Gary aside like a kid brother. Then he picked up his clothes and walked out of the bedroom.
Gary climbed back to his feet and started after Greg. Julie quickly ran out of the bathroom and grabbed him. Gary's eyes met hers and for a moment it was like he didn't see her. Then he did. And that was much worse.
Anger, bewilderment and, deepest of all, hurt were all present in his eyes and on his face. Julie had never felt so small in her life. How could she have done this to him? How could she have been so selfish?
Julie suddenly realized she was naked. It shouldn't have mattered. The man in front of her was her husband, right? But she felt a strong compulsion to cover herself. She let go of Gary and hurried back to the bathroom to retrieve her robe.
Gary watched her for a second or two, then surged out of the door after Greg. Julie turned in time to see him pass out of the door. She screamed at him to stop and, pulling her robe on as she went, she ran after him.
Julie heard the garage door going up as she chased after Gary. Greg's car, of course, was parked in the garage! Oh God! How could she have been so stupid! Greg was parked in Gary's spot in the garage!
Greg obviously knew how to let himself out and, presumably, that's what he was doing. But if Gary got there before Greg could back his car out, he could close the door. Force a confrontation.
That was the last thing Julie wanted. She caught up to Gary before he reached the garage.
"Wait!" she pleaded, grabbing him with desperate strength. Gary tried to shake her loose and continue after Greg, but Julie clung to him, frantically trying to restrain or delay him.
"Let fucking go!" Gary screamed, pushing at her. But Julie didn't let go. She couldn't let Gary close the garage door, trap Greg. Force Greg to go through Gary to get out. Nothing good could come of that.
Gary eventually shook her off of him, but even as Julie fell to the floor, she heard Greg's car pulling out. She breathed a momentary sigh of relief as she climbed to her feet. Then Gary returned from the garage and any relief she felt evaporated instantly.
Oh God! What could she say to him? He had just caught her in bed with another man!
Julie realized that a bouquet of flowers and a bottle of wine were sitting on the kitchen table. Gary had come home from his trip early. And had wanted to surprise her with flowers and wine.
Instead, they had surprised each other in the worst possible way.
Julie tugged at her robe, pulling it tightly shut, self-conscious of her nakedness. Gary's eyes were alternately on her or on the ceiling. Or focused on some distant point. He stood in the room, careful to stay away from her. Every movement, gesture and facial expression seemed foreign to Julie. She had never seen Gary quite like this.
The moment stretched out for what seemed like hours. Julie would have simply died if it was within her to give up her spirit at that moment. It was the lowest, filthiest, most despicable she had ever felt in her life. By a long shot.
Eventually, the inevitable screaming started. The accusations, the names the vitriolic explosion that Julie completely deserved. She hung her head and cried, letting Gary's words pummel her. Even in his anger and hurt, she noticed, his words were not as scathing as they should have been. They weren't vicious, mean. They weren't words that could never be taken back. Even as she had cut him so deeply, so unexpectedly, Gary was showing restraint. And that only made her feel worse.
He threw questions at her. Why did she do it? Did she love him? Julie had no answer. The idea of loving Greg was strange, foreign to her. But how could Gary know? Why did she do it? She still didn't know that herself. It had happened, Julie had allowed it to happen. But she didn't 'do' it, per se.
She fell back against the wall and slowly sank to the floor, her head falling into her hands, the tears streaming down her face. She heard Gary's tirade and she didn't. The words reached her ears and she understood them. But their meaning, their significance wasn't penetrating the protective barrier her brain had thrown up.
Gary fumed. He asked why again and again. Of course he didn't understand why. Julie didn't and she was on the inside. And had had a lot more time to think about it.
It wasn't real yet. Shock kept Julie from acknowledging just what a crushing blow she had dealt to both of them. Somewhere in her head was the realization that she had taken her life, her marriage and maybe even her career and crumpled them up like so much trash. But that thought wasn't rooted in any reality yet. It was swirling, unconnected, through her head with a myriad of other thoughts and feelings.
Curled up on the floor against the wall, Julie weathered the brunt of Gary's outrage. It wasn't until the wave of anger passed that he said something that really, truly rattled her.
"What am I going to do?"
It was a seemingly straightforward question. But it could be meant in many different ways and taken in many different ways, too.
What was he going to do?
A cold, clammy chill stole over her. Was he saying he was going to leave her? Was he saying that he was going to throw her out? Was he waiting to hear what she had to say in her own defense before making his decision? Or was he saying that his life as he knew it had been torn asunder and he was simply lost?
Julie opened her mouth, but nothing came out. She wasn't even sure if she had anything to say. Sobs shook her whole body. What could she possibly say? She had never been more ashamed of herself than she was at that moment.
"What am I going to do?" The second time he asked, the words caused her to physically shake.
"I... I don't know," Julie replied, struggling to speak through her sobs. "Oh, God! I'm so sorry, Gary!" she wailed, fresh tears bursting forth.
