Jim and I had been married young. I was a virgin when we crossed the threshold on our wedding night. I had been raised to be a 'good' girl...what ever that meant. My mother, whom I am still very close to had always drilled into my mind just what a good girl would or wouldn't do in all matters.
Our first mother daughter talk had been her pretty much telling me that I would wait for marriage to have sex of any kind. That there were forms of sex that were good between a husband and wife and other types and ways that would surely lead to the demise of the marriage.
Good girls and wives didn't enjoy sex too much. If you did your husband would lose respect for you, thinking that you were a slut or whore. Good girls didn't touch a man's penis unless it was absolutely necessary. "Sex is best enjoyed in what they call the missionary position" Momma would say. "Never stray from that and you will do fine all your married life."
So you see, I was pretty much brainwashed into a very straightlaced and of course boring sexual partner for my husband. In spite of that, we had fallen in love and had two great kids who were now out on their own in college.
Over the years I had discovered that I had urges to do things sexually but with the repression my mother had drilled into me, I never could go very far. There had been times that I wanted nothing more than to take Jim's penis between my lips and swallow his whole shaft as far as I could. To taste his juice as it shot out of the end and even have him shoot it all over my body.
I could tell that it was hot when it came out, and from time to time when I would lick him down there, I could get a little taste of his sperm. I had found that I really liked that taste. But, with the 'training' my mother had put me through, I could never bring myself to go very far at all orally or for that matter, any other way.
Once, Jim had almost shot off in my mouth when I had been licking him. I had actually put the head of his penis just inside my lips when it happened. I feigned anger and got out of bed to go to the bathroom and gargle and brush my teeth. In reality, I stood in the bathroom with the door closed and savored his taste.
I was so fearful that Jim would lose respect for me and leave me that I pretty much became the stereotypical next to frigid wife. I would have sex with him on his demand...only because my mother had told me that was what was expected of a wife.
Deep down, I would have initiated sex quite a bit more than Jim had I had the nerve and strength to push for it. On a few nights when I would be really hot and into the moment I had let Jim do me doggie style. It was a rush for me and afterwards I noticed that my husband hadn't seemed to have lost any respect for me at all.
Anyway, to shorten this story up a bit. The kids were gone and Jim had gotten this middle-aged crazy thing going on. He had started to work out at the gym and after a few months I began to see such a change in his body and attitude I was a bit astonished.
He was looking good. His stomach had gotten flat again and even toned enough to start to show his 'six-pac'. His energy had gone up too. Then, one night I began to notice things. His discussion would center on his workout partner, whom I assumed was a man.
I found out a few months later that his workout partner was a young woman almost our daughters age. June and Bob, some friends of ours saw Jim, my husband, leaving a young girls apartment one night. She kissed him at the door as he left the building. They said she wasn't wearing much if anything.
Jim hadn't seemed to have changed a bit towards me, but when June told me, even though I refused to believe her, I began to get suspicious. I thought that it was a case of mistaken identity. That a simple explanation would surface for it if it had been Jim there that night.
Then, one night I followed him to the gym. He went in and a few minutes later, left with her on his arm. They got in her car and drove to that apartment that Bob and June had told me they saw Jim leaving.
After two hours, Jim and that little home wrecker drove back to the gym where they both went in and worked out for a half an hour more. I drove home devastated and shocked. My husband was cheating on me with a young girl...a little tramp that was our daughters age.
I kept my composure until late that night after Jim came home. While he slept, I sat in the kitchen and cried for a long time. I was afraid that I was going to lose my husband. That he didn't want me or love me any more. I looked at myself in the mirror and realized that if I were Jim I wouldn't want me either.
My breasts were sagging, I had gained too much weight, my stomach stuck way out over my waist. I looked like a large overripe pear. Ugly and fat is what I was. The only good thing was that I had no stretch marks to speak of. Jim had faithfully massaged oils and creams on my tummy every night for most of my two pregnancy's and that had helped to keep them to a minimal condition.
For a few weeks after my discovery I just moped around, waiting for Jim to drop the bombshell and tell me he was leaving me for that...that...bitch. Depressed, I started to stay home more and more, never going out. Jim noticed that I wasn't feeling well and commented several times but I brushed him off.
I worked to hide the fact that I knew he was cheating on me, even having sex on demand when he wanted it. Then came the night of our fight. I had a long and tiring day at home cleaning and doing laundry. Several big jobs had needed done and tackling them, I over did it quite a bit.
Jim came home all worked up and hot to trot. He pressed for sex and I got mad, knowing that he had already had sex probably and now wanted more. I thought that he was trying to hide the fact that he had been fucking already that day to throw me off.
We fought and he slept on the couch. I will say that he looked and probably felt guilty that night for sure. I could see it on his face for the first time as I handed him the pillow and blankets. He almost said something then, but I shoved him out the door of our bedroom and slammed it tight, locking it.
The next day I got angry at him. Angry as I ever had been. Then I knew what I had to do. If he was going to divorce me, then by God I was going to make it the hardest thing for him to do. I was going to change my body just like he had done his and then I was going to get a lover and in front of Jim fuck that lover's eyeballs out.
Then, I was going to do things with that lover that we had never done as a man and wife. Why, I might even try anal sex just to show Jim what he was going to lose. Deep down I still loved Jim as much as I ever had. He had pushed me too far now though. I was going to have my revenge, and if he left me afterwards...then so be it. Bastard!
I had a time convincing Jim that I had to work out alone. At first he wanted me to go to his gym to workout. Like I would have wanted to be around his slut while showing my ugly body so she could compare mine with her young and tight one.
I started to work out at a different gym, one closer to home. I got a trainer, a large strong and very well built young man who was also nice. Even though I felt ugly and fat, he was able to talk to me directly about my body and show me what I could do to change myself for the better. Without making me feel ugly or fat.
