She took the Bullet Train from Kyoto, which she said was like flying on the ground. It was a twelve-minute ride to travel 43km. (That's over 200kph!) She was pretty stoked to have taken the "Shinkansen" during her trip. Bobbi thinks Japan is "really weird but sorta cool" and was looking forward to exploring Osaka without Jenni.
The same day Bobbi left I got a long text from Jenni. It was not easy to read.
"Hi Garry. Bobbi left me here by myself. She can be such a little bitch. I really don't understand why she decided it was okay to text you all the time. Are we okay? What have you and Bobbi been talking about? This feels really awful. It feels like you don't want me anymore. What did I do? I thought we were going to be together when I got back. Not knowing what's going on is driving me crazy. You never text me. It makes me sad to think that I trusted you and now you don't even want to talk to me. I don't know what I did wrong. Did Bobbi say something? Did she tell you something about me that you don't like? Did she tell you things about my dad, and how messed up he is? How messed up he made me? She has seemed different this past week. What did you two talk about? She said you are a pilot? Why haven't you ever told me that? I don't even know what you do for a living. Maybe I don't know you at all. Maybe this has all been about sex. Maybe you just wanted to know what it's like to fuck a fat girl? I get that I'm fat and ugly, but you made me feel pretty. I wanted you. I would have so let you have sex with me. I know I'm not going to win any beauty contests. I've got a huge butt and fat thighs and no experience at all. Until you kissed me, I'd never even kissed a guy. I wanted you to be my first. You seemed so gentle. It makes me cry when I think about it. I thought you'd be gentle and sweet and loving the first time. Up until this week I thought about our last night together, in your truck. I finally found someone I actually wanted to touch me. Then my mom fucked that all up. I really hate her. I would have let you do anything you wanted. I was so ready. Now it all seems like a nightmare. And I'm stuck here in Japan. Bobbi has the money to do what she wants. I'm stuck going back with the pervert and his wife. He reminds me of my dad, and it's gross. If he ever touches me, I'll kick him in the balls. But he won't because why would he? He doesn't want a fat, ugly girl. If my mom hadn't called out to me you and I would have gone to your house. I wanted you so badly. I wanted to know what it felt like to have somebody want me like that. Now that's been wrecked. What happened? At least please tell me why. I'm miserable."
I was shocked.
I was not entirely certain what to say, but I responded with this text back, "Hi Jenni. As far as you and I are concerned nothing has changed, at least for me. That night in the truck was great. I hadn't kissed anyone in nearly three years. You are sweet and soft and warm and cuddly. You are not ugly Jenni, nor are you fat. There's no denying you are a big girl, but you're tall too, so the proportions work. You are soft and curvy and you're a great kisser. I've seen enough of you to know you have a very sexy body. So, to say all I wanted was to 'fuck a fat girl?' That's insulting Jenni, to both of us, and it pisses me off. Don't ever say anything like that to me again. I know you're hurting and confused. That's my fault.
"You really wanted a boyfriend, and you wanted that boyfriend to be me. I should have known that. It isn't that you're not pretty, or sexy, or desirable. It isn't even about the age difference, although that does factor in to things. I'll be blunt: your mood swings are difficult to handle. When you're up and feeling manic you are great fun. When you're down and feeling depressed and insecure it is really difficult. I'm pretty even keel, and most of the time I'm pretty upbeat. It is difficult to be around depressed people, especially in a committed relationship. I tried that once and it turned out very badly, much like this relationship seems to be turning out.
"The difference is you and I have never been in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. We have been friends for many months. And you're right, if your mom hadn't interrupted, I was ready to drive to my house. I wanted to please you like you wanted. So don't think for an instant you aren't desirable. You are. But so far, up until that last night together, we've just been friends. I'll miss you if you decide to not talk to me anymore. You're a special person Jenni. I hope the rest of your trip is good, and that you have fun in Osaka. And please, don't be mad at Bobbi. She's your best friend. She only wants what's best for you. Reach out to her and meet up in Osaka before she leaves. You'll both feel better."
I didn't know what to expect from Jenni, but then I got a short little text.
"Thanks for taking the time to explain everything. I understand what you've said. Thank you for being so kind, you always are. We'll talk when I get back."
I told her that I was looking forward to seeing her when she got back. I told her if she needed any proof of that, to think about the night in the truck.
She wrote back, "Garry, thank you. For everything. You make me feel good. I can't help how I feel about you. I understand you don't feel the same way. Know that I love you, but don't freak out, I'm not a stalker. When I get home, I'd love to see you, and I get that you don't want me as a steady girlfriend. That's okay. I'd miss you terribly if we just quit talking. Besides Bobbi you're my best friend, but in a completely different way. I tell you things that even Bobbi doesn't know about. It makes me feel really good that you always listen, and you seem to know just what to say. You're the only man I've ever trusted. And you keep proving that you deserve my trust. When I get home I really hope we can continue what we started that night in the truck. I think about it every night when I get in bed. And every morning when I wake up. How your hand felt. You knew just where to touch me. It was so erotic. You nearly gave me an orgasm. I was so ready to have sex right in the truck. You'd have been the first. And I hope you still will be. If you still want me."
I thought carefully about what to write. "Jenni, you're sweet and pretty and curvy and sexy. I was very ready to have sex with you too. But I'm glad the first time wasn't in the front seat of an old truck. You deserve far better than that."
Her response was nearly instant, "Oh Garry. I love you so. You are the sweetest man ever. I hope you and I can be together at some point after I get back. I really do."
I guess that's as gentle a letdown as I could make it. I hoped that I hadn't left too much hope in her heart.
I was pretty enamored of Bobbi. And it had become clear that Bobbi felt the same way about me.
Rather than struggle through a regurgitation and recap of everything that was said between Jenni and me, I asked Bobbi if I could simply send her the entire transcript of each text Jenni and I traded. Before I made the offer, I thought about whether or not it violated some sort of trust. My conclusion was that it did not because it involved Bobbi, going all the way back to their upbringing and friendship.
I sent each piece off. There was a period of nearly half an hour where I heard nothing from Bobbi.
Then I got this reply, "Garry, I don't even know where to start. First and foremost, you are without a doubt the sweetest and most loving and kind man I have ever met other than my dad. I think my dad may have been the only man besides you to make Jenni feel like she was normal. Her dad is a worthless piece of shit. He put Jenni and her mom through hell before he got kicked out of the house. Jenni's mom has never worked a day in her life. Jenni doesn't want her mom to be a homeless person, and she sure doesn't want to take care of her. She couldn't anyway. Jenni can barely take care of herself. That's one of the reasons why she fell for you so hard I think.
"She really wants a man to take care of her, someone kind and loving who sees her for who she could be. In a lot of ways, you would be perfect for her. She really wants to have her first 'normal' experience. She wants that first experience to be with you. Jenni is completely smitten by you. I totally get that. You are the most gentle, kind, thoughtful, loving, sweet and sexy man I've ever met. She just wants to be loved by you, and to have you as her lover. It's a positive sign that she said she understands about how you don't want to be her boyfriend. We'll see what happens when she gets back, but if you two end up having sex she'll probably think that means you are her boyfriend. Or at least her lover. So, my advice is to be super careful. Like you've said before, she is fragile. It's a little weird that she told you that she will let you do anything. After her upbringing and how her dad treated her mom, she may have some different ideas about what normal sex is. But I know you'll handle things just fine. You are a wonderful man Garry."
I read through Bobbi's reply, and then a second time.
Here's what I said, "Bobbi, you're a gem. One of the many things I like about you is your big heart, and your outsized loyalty to your friends and family. I also like that promises are important to you, and that trust is a big deal for you. Not to be immodest, but I like to think I have those qualities too. Although, I think you may be a bit more hot-headed. :-) I tend to be pretty mellow unless there's good reason. What was it that the Incredible Hulk always said? 'Don't make me angry. You won't like me when I'm angry.' That's me. Happy-go-lucky and carefree until I'm not."
Bobbi and I texted back and forth for quite a while, discussing everything that had happened. It was becoming increasingly clear that once Bobbi was back in the States, she and I would be spending time together, and quite probably in bed.
When Bobbi and I talked the next day, we discussed her likely need for a few days readjustment to the time change and to have a little decompression time after the long flight and the trip to Japan. And of course, all the confusion that happened with Jenni.
Then Bobbi texted, "She called me by the way."
I felt very relieved, but tried to keep it nonchalant, "Oh yeah?"
"She wants to have dinner with me before I leave."
