Secrets

Daffney Dawes

____________

I dialed Kira's number after I'd gotten out of the shower and once I knew for sure that Jansen had left.

The other line rang four times until Kira answered.

"BACK FOR MORE, ARE YA??" Kira yelled.

I winced, shaking a little from her burst of anger.

"It's me, Kira..." I replied softly. I looked about my room, then found my jeans. I slipped them on as I talked to her. "What's going on??"

"....oh... shit, Daff, I'm sorry.. I thought you were someone else."

"Like who?"

Kira sighed. "Well... not even an hour ago this number called me... wait... Why aren't you at home?"

I froze, shutting my eyes.

"Daffney??" Kira asked, her voice on edge. "Where are you at??"

I swallowed nervously as I slipped into my favorite plaid and forest- green, short-sleeved shirt that accentuated the girls.

I also knew I had to tell her the truth.

"... I'm at Jansen's... but..."

"WHAT." Kira snapped. "Daffney Elizabeth, what the FUCK are you doing with him?!"

I sighed, knowing she wouldn't like what I was holding back from her.

"Kira... it's a long story, but..."

"Spit it out," Kira replied coldly. I heard her pit bull, Tank, barking up a storm in the background. "TANK, SIT YOUR ASS DOWN.*

I shook a little, already scared. Kira was always a vicious bitch when she was angered. It tended to frighten me a little.

And yes, she CAN fight.

"Well... um... it happened... uh..."

"Well?!" Kira snapped again.

"Don't yell at me!" I now sobbed, overcome with guilt.

"Then TELL me the fucking TRUTH. NOW."

I paused, shivering harder as I stood there talking to her.

"When you went to Florida... we, uh..."

"Fucked?"

"Yes... after doing coke... at his place..."

I heard a loud burst of her tense laughter, and I knew I was in deep shit. I slammed my eyes shut, another tear rapidly speeding down my left cheek. I sniffled and wiped my eyes.

Then Kira crossed a VERY thin line.

"See..." she began in between her laughter. "THIS is why, Daffney. THIS is fucking why the CPS took away Danielle from you."

My jaw dropped, and I couldn't stop my anger from pouring out of my mouth.

"EXCUSE ME, BITCH??" I shouted, angrily pushing my bangs out of my face. "REPEAT THAT??"

"YOUR!... FUCKED! UP! DECISIONS..." Kira screamed. "LED TO... YOUR!!! CHILD!!! BEING TAAAA-KENNNNN!! GET IT?!"

"COME DOWN AND SAY THAT TO MY FUCKING FACE, KIRA!!"

"GLADLY, SWEETIE! YOU FUCKIN' ASKED FOR IT, COKEHEAD!!"

She slammed the phone down.

I screamed and threw the phone at the wall.

I kept my shoes off, knowing I was gonna be fighting her anyway. I couldn't BELIEVE she threw Danielle in my face. My little girl was now seven, and I'd lost her to her deadbeat father at two. This one hurt bad. I cried bitterly as I threw my hair up, watching myself cry pretty hideously in the bathroom mirror.

What a BITCH. How fucking COULD she...

But it wasn't going to matter soon, since I was about to make Kira feel MY fucking wrath once her whore ass got here...

***

I threw my cigarette off to the side once I saw Kira roll up, music blaring as she screeched to a stop at the curb. Her engine shut off and she got out, slamming the door and cutting me with a vicious expression.

Her eyes were bulging, shaking her head as she ripped her Vans off her feet, tossing them behind her and now stood barefoot on the lawn. She was all natural, no makeup, and in her white tank with no bra, and black yoga pants. While she looked casual, she still looked hot somehow.

I stood in front of her, my hands on my hips and tugging up my pants., glaring at her as I took off my earrings.

"Why." Kira began softly, her eyes bulging. "Why the fuck do you HAVE to have every man I've had, Daffney??"

"Jansen ain't a man!" I screamed. "Jack is, though, but you fucked JANSEN FIRST INSTEAD OF HIM!"

Kira scoffed, a tense grin among her face. Her cheeks immediately darkened pink, and she finally looked at me.

"Leave Jack out of this... he hasn't done anything..."

"No!" I shouted, stepping closer to her. "YOU DON'T DESERVE JACK, KIRA, AND YOU FUCKIN' KNOW IT!"

Mirroring me, Kira stepped closer to me. There was now maybe three feet of space between us.

"Look." Kira shouted, shutting her eyes. "I KNOW what I did. Jack and I are cool again. But you WILL not take him away from me, Daffney. It was bad enough you playing with us the other day and trying to seduce him with your goddamn feet, but I swear to God, if-"

"JACK LOVED IT WHEN I JOINED YOU!! DID YOU NOT SEE HIM LOOKING AT ME??"

"ONLY 'CAUSE YOU HAD YOUR TITS OUT??"

"HE KISSED ME LIKE HE OWNED ME, KIRA!!"

"JACK DON'T LOVE YOU!?" Kira screamed louder. Her eyes cut me, and I thought I saw them welling up with tears. "HE LOVES ME!!"

"Tch, RIGHT. And YOU definitely LOVE him SO FUCKING MUCH that you spread your fucking legs for JANSEN TWICE!" I countered, breathing hard.

"BITCH!!" Kira shrieked, now charging at me.

I caught her by her wrists, but she took me down upon the grass when her foot slammed into my gut in rapid timing. I fell down onto my side, gasping for air, shutting my eyes. I felt my arms then pinned down by my head, and Kira's body now laying halfway on me.

I heard her breathing angrily in my ear.

".... don't make me kick your ass, Daffney..." she growled in a low voice. She continued to pant with me. "...not over a fucking boy..."

I moved aside, shrieking in anger.

"GET OFF ME!" I shouted in her face. "GET-"

Kira freed my wrist, then slapped me hard in the face, causing me to yelp. My head whipped to the left upon her impact.

"Shut up..." she hissed.

I then had a flashback to Jansen's abuse. I began to cry hard.

"Oh, stop! I didn't even use my full fucking strength!"

But the tears kept coming. I sobbed as I shook hard beneath her, refusing to look at her.

I then heard her say, "...Daffs??"

I hyperventilated, gasping for more air as my panic attack hit me hard.

Now getting off of me, Kira stood up, tugged me to my feet and walked me into the house while rubbing my back. We sat down on the couch, her in front of me, facing me gently in her hands to look at her. Her face was in sheer concern now.

'Daffney... I'm sorry... baby, please...?"

I sniffled, my face still stinging. I pushed my bangs from my eyes, slowly looking at her.

"What happened??" she asked.

"He abused me, Kira."

I then rolled up my jeans' leg to show her a welt that Jansen had left last night upon my thigh.

Kira gasped, her face in absolute fury. She then looked to me. "What the FUCK... HOW?? WHY?!"

I shook my head. "It's dumb."

"Not really?!" Kira replied, her blues now huge in their gaze. "If he's leaving marks on you... No, it isn't dumb, Daff... what happened??"

I took a deep breath and began.

"Well... he wanted to have sex. I wasn't feeling it. So... he... pinned me down in the bed... forced my legs open... and when I got him in the balls with my knee... he pinned me down and dug his own knee into my thigh... and... then..."

My tears came into a broken sob, but I had to tell her.

"He... he raped me... twice... last night... and an hour ago..."

I turned to Kira, her tears already spilling down her face.

Without another word she wrapped me in a hug. I gripped tightly around her shoulders, hugging her tight. I buried my face in her tits and cried loud.

"Shhhhh, honey..." Kira whispered, rubbing my back. "I'm sorry... I'm so fucking sorry, baby... I'm so sorry I hurt you, baby... shhhhh..."

I nodded, sniffling, still holding onto her.

Kira's hands then slowly left my back, going to my face when I finally left her chest to look at her. She held my face and smiled a little.

I kissed her softly, and she sighed into my mouth. Her tongue slipped in. I moaned back then held her around her waist, tugging her close to me. I closed my eyes, letting her kiss me deeply. Her taste was incredible.

Kira's hands then slid down slowly to my throat. I moaned as she then brought me down on my back, then slowly and straddling me.

As we made out, I felt her fingers slowly tighten around my throat. I gasped, enjoying the moment.

Her fingers tightened slowly, and Kira only got faster in her kisses, almost... aggressive.

I whimpered into her mouth, trying to gasp for air. But Kira being a bigger girl now and with more muscle than fat in her thighs, she was like a boulder on my chest. I couldn't shift to move her.

My eyes shot open, and I tried to pry her fingers off of me. She sat above me, looking down at me angrily, now cutting off my air.

A strangled mew escaped my lips, and my feet were pounding the cushions desperately.

"Kira...?!" I was able to shriek, scared to death now. "Wha--?!"

"Shhhh, sweetie..." Kira whispered and in an aggressively calm and sweet tone as she roughly shoved my head back and further down into the cushion below us. She opened her mouth, and a thick line of spit came out of the corner of her mouth as she shook me hard in her hands. "Shhhhh..."

I tried to scream, but her grip was too much. I gazed up at her, my tears spilling down either side of my face.

Kira's taunts continued, and her spit finally hit my chest as she spoke, shaking me even harder as I gasped for ANY air. It wasn't coming.

"Shhhhhh..." she growled, shaking in her own anger. "Go to sleep... mmmm, good girl... shhhh... shhh.."

I saw the corners of my eyes begin to grow black, I could feel my heartbeat slowing, my breathing extra laborous...

I weakly lifted my legs, my hands slowly letting her hands go.

Kira leaned down, tightening her grip around my throat even more, kissing me on my mouth and holding fast, further suffocating me. She threw in her tongue upon mine as a sick gesture.

It was a kiss of death.

I weakly gasped, letting out a long, resigned sigh into her mouth as she stared me down.

"Shhhh..." she sighed, smiling wide as she broke our "kiss". "Thaaaaaat's my good girl... allllllmost there, sweetie..... go to sleep... shh........."

Blackness grew... I couldn't see anymore.

I sat up then, waking up in a cold sweat, screaming. My chest was pounding, and the sweat poured down my face, intermingling with my tears.

After a little while, I took a few deep breaths and calmed down. It had been a nightmare.

I was relieved to know I was in my house.

No Jansen. No Kira. Just me.

I felt better and laid back down in my bed, until I rolled over and both saw and felt the empty space next to me where Jack could have been laying.

I'd been single now for over three years. While it was nice living by myself.. I still got lonely, especially when by myself at night.

I sighed, a new tear spilling as I thought too much about it, as usual.

I wound up not sleeping for the rest of the night.

I felt so empty... so... afraid... I stayed in bed, staring endlessly at the empty space, masturbating at least three times the next few hours until I was bleeding while my other hand lay on that empty space beside me, cold and bare. I kept on rubbing it back and forth, hoping he'd materialize. But he didn't.

But the burning question now was...

...would Kira actually kill me?