Things had been brewing for some time, for years in fact. There were so many occasions he could remember, so many throwaway moments that on their own were insignificant but which taken together took on a synergy of their own and became a deeply involved tapestry. It was hard at times to tell who was seducing who, which of them was driving things and which was content to sit back and let scenarios and situations unfold for their titillation and enjoyment. In truth, apart from the very beginning, their flirting and beguiling had flowed between them like tides between two shores. He had certainly said things to her that he had never considered saying to anyone else, and had envisaged so much between them that he would once have never dreamed of. She had begun it all so long ago, her obvious sexual energy just looking for an outlet which she could feel safe with, yet play with and control to satisfy her own mischievous nature.
He had been content at first to play along, to let himself be led with some mild curiosity but no real sense of anticipation. Their verbal sparring was never going to transform itself into anything real between them, he knew that, indeed he was convinced that she wasn’t even attracted to him, he just happened to be the closest and easiest available target for her. He had felt exactly the same way, until a sudden moment when he realised he had misjudged himself completely.
They had been playing mind games with each other that day, flirting outrageously with each other, when she had grabbed something of his from the table and ran. Without going outside, there wasn’t far she could go, and he soon cornered her and pinned her down. Up close and personal, he suddenly noticed for the first time how full her lips were, he could feel the heat of her arms as he held them, and he could feel her breath moist on his face. He withdrew abruptly, before the urge to pin her down and kiss her deeply overpowered him completely, and before his sudden erection was noticed. Somewhat confused and more than a little abashed at his body’s sudden betrayal, he had retreated swiftly, but things had changed irrevocably from that moment on.
Thereafter he had been more cautious, but at the same time much more willing to play along. He found himself noticing her clothing much more, her hair, her moods, and all sorts of little details. He would find himself fantasising about her at all times of the day or night, forcing himself out of his reverie with a sudden start at work when he realised he had been imaging the soft skin of her thighs under his fingers. On rare occasions she would sleep over, he in the bed, and she on the sofa downstairs, and he would spend the whole night thinking about stealing quietly in to her and losing himself in her for hours. There were only two problems with this, but both were very real and probably insurmountable.
They were both married, and she was his wife’s best friend!
They had kissed before, but it hadn’t gone well. He had been completely unable to relax, mainly because his wife was in the next room and aware of what was happening. They had not been able to get past that first nervous, fumbling sizing up of each other, where their lips met and their minds worked furiously trying to understand what the other liked. He realised that all the expectation, all the anticipation of this moment would come to nothing now, even as his groin pressed against her and he felt her yielding body relax into him. Too much of his concentration was on his wife, where she was, what she would be thinking. Even as those lips he had dreamed of so often sucked gently against his own he had a sudden insight into how disastrously this would end. The evening had gone rapidly downhill from there.
So he had resigned himself to the idea that she would only ever be an object of fantasy for him, and even then the flirtation between them could never be the same, all the delicious thrill of anticipation and maybes and what ifs had passed in a clumsy coup-de-grace to his desire. He was surprised to realise how much of the sparkle it took from his life, how much he had needed that edge of excitement that reminded him so much of teenage years, when he had been a walking hormone factory completely out of control at the first signal of feminine interest.
Work became busier yet seemed more mundane; his social circle extended itself but seemed to be full of pointless people who really didn’t grab his imagination. Of course, his sex life with his wife was still good, but then it usually was. It was with relief he looked at the memo in front of him and picked up the phone. The memo was about setting up a night out on the town for a small group of them who had joined the company around the same time. He listened to the ringing tone and idly imagined flirting with a complete stranger in a bar somewhere. He had never been unfaithful to his wife, and had no intention of doing so, despite his until recently almost constant fantasising about her friend. He had never expected to actually go to bed with her, but he would have been prepared to go further with her than with anyone else. He pictured her now, arms pinned to her sides, her back pressed against him, his hand slipping into the waistband of her underwear…the voice answering at the other end of the phone jolted him back to the real world.
