The conversation continued at the restaurant, as Ingrid asked, "So was it your membership at der Höllenfeuer Verein and your participation there, that led you to become a professional Dominatrix?"
Mistress Denna answered, "There's more than just my activities at der Höllenfeuer Verein involved, which paved the way to my vocation. In addition to my triumphs, you wished to know about my warts and all. So, I'll tell you about my warts. There were indeed some warts that was instrumental in my decision to becoming a Dominatrix and earn my living at it.
"First of all, after Sig graduated, we ended our affair as we both had expected we would. We've never ever been intimate since. He eventually married about fifteen years ago to Klara Fashingbauer, a submissive member of der Höllenfeuer Verein, wherein he had meet her. They're both still members, but they seldom attend because the club frowns upon married couples being exclusive to themselves when participating in the meetings and parties. Sig is overly jealous and can't abide any man indulging in even innocuous flirting with her. He can't stand it even if a woman innocently flirts with her.
"I don't think he has ever told Klara about our incestuous affair, since Klara never betrays any such signs to me that she is aware. My relationship with her is about as cordial as one can expect, given that neither one of us is particularly fond of each other. My main beef against my sister-in-law is that I find her too submissive, beyond the pale of a healthy dom-sub relationship. Anyway, they have two children, a boy and a girl. And no, before you ask, they're not named Siegfried and Hilda, nor Tristan and Isolde."
Ingrid laughed and replied, "I'm surprised! I guess your brother has no sense of family heritage."
Mistress Denna continued her narrative, "Starting with my third year at the University was the start of my first year living alone apart from my parents and my brother. I'm afraid as a result of my independence, I lost my sense of responsibility. I became very wild, having sexual intercourse frequently, willy nilly with men and women equally. I drank heavily but at least I avoided becoming a drug junkie. So, I behaved in all ways contrary to how my parents raised me. I do take comfort that during this desolate time in my life I did not neglect my schoolwork. I maintained my good grades and graduated in the projected four years time.
"My undisciplined sex life came to bite me in the ass during my fourth year. I went to see a doctor after I experienced serious bouts of unusual discharges from my periods. After a thorough diagnosis, my doctor advised I had contracted chlamydia, an STD as you know. In a subsequent hysterosalpingography test, it was shown that my fallopian tubes were blocked. Although my STD caused some of the scarring, perhaps the removal of my burst appendix while I was a teenager contributed to the significant scarring. Or perhaps one of those events blocked one of my tubes and the other event blocked my other tube. In any case the scarring in my fallopian tubes was too severe to be able to be corrected by surgery, and so I was not able to conceive."
Ingrid commiserated, "Oh how awful! That sure sucks. You must have been devastated upon hearing such news."
"Yes, I certainly was. I might have desired by choice to be childless, but I sure as hell was infuriated that such choice of whether to become pregnant or not had been denied to me. That reality made me feel less of a woman."
Ingrid remarked, "I certainly understand your feelings. I know I've been wrapped up too much in my music and contemplating my future concert career, that I've never given much thought about becoming pregnant and having children. I did not even think about birth control as I've worn an IUD since I was sixteen years old. However, I know this about myself, that I would certainly be dispirited knowing I could not have any children."
Mistress Denna was comforted by Ingrid's empathy, "Anyway, after such horrendous news I took stock of myself, and reviewed my goals in life. When I first started in University, I really had not set any goals in life. I had supposed I would get some kind of a decent job after graduating. Then meet my shining knight in armor. Get married and have a passel of kids. In other words, I had the vague notion, that I would want and would head towards the traditional orthodox ambitions, genteel society had decreed for Austrian women.
"It dawned on me that starting my adult life by having a sexual incestuous affair with my brother was not the proper move towards achieving such goals. And of course, being sexually promiscuous and drinking heavily was definitely not conducive to reaching that presumably desired lifestyle. As for belonging to a BDSM sex club, I would be ruling out lots of potential knights in shining armor. And now knowing I cannot conceive, and bear children makes such a lifestyle impossible to achieve."
Ingrid was alarmed by such a dour assessment that Mistress Denna viewed of her plight. So, she protested, "But Siggy, you needed not to despair. Surely there are lots of women who cannot have children for one reason or another, but still have a happy marriage. And if children are important in your life, you can always adopt."
Mistress Denna replied, "My dear Ingrid, you've misunderstood my feelings at my reaction to hearing about my infertility. I'm not a pessimistic person by nature. You Americans have a wonderful saying: 'If life gives you lemons, make lemonade.' Mind you I hate lemonade. So, I like to think I made lemon meringue pies instead with the lemons I received."
Ingrid laughed at Mistress Denna's parody of a popular modern adage. She asked, "So what kind of lemon meringue pies did you make after being advised of your infertility?"
Mistress Denna replied, "Well in some ways. I was relieved that I was forced into making some decisions. I realized I had not been honest with myself, and had not taken into account what I wanted to do, as opposed to what was expected of me. I knew for example that the typical employment I could expect after graduation would not interest me. Actually, Alexander Talmann offered me a position a few years ago in his office. However, as he outlined my job description, I knew I would be bored to tears, so I declined the offer. The position offered a salary much less than my income. The only advantage of the position was that it was respectable work in the eyes of society.
"Even that advantage was compromised given the fact I had no previous political experience to merit being offered such a high level position in government. People I'm sure would speculate that I was Talmann's mistress or at the very least had slept with him on one occasion to secure such a high profile position. Mind you such insinuations would be accurate as obviously all things being equal, I would not deserve consideration. Although, I like to think that aside from our past sexual history Alexander would believe I was capable of doing the assignment or otherwise he would not even offer it in the first place."
Ingrid protest, "Of course you could Siggy! You're the most awesome woman I've ever met. I know that you're capable of doing anything you set your mind to."
"Thank you for your vote of confidence my sweet Ingrid. Anyway, the news that I was infertile also made me realize that I did not really want to follow the path set out as desirable for an Austrian woman. Despite all the men I fucked during college, none of them struck me as someone I wanted to get to really know, and perhaps consider at least a possible relationship never mind marry. It is telling that the only long term affair I've ever had was with my brother, but both of us were of the mindset that we were really just marking time, until we graduated from the University, and then seriously getting on with our real lives."
Ingrid wondered. "I don't know Siggy. That sure sounds somewhat of a cavalier attitude to hold considering the length of time you were sexual with your brother. You must have had carnal desires during all that time."
Mistress Denna replied, "I don't know. As it has been so long ago, that I can't really remember how I was feeling at the time. All I know is that I still love my brother as a brother, but ever since we stopped fucking, I've never entertained even the smallest hint of a desire to jump his bones again. A few years ago, at a dinner party with our parents, he made an offhand remark during the dinner time conversation saying that incest is best, but I simply smirked and ignored that stupid comment."
"But you still remember him saying it."
"Well yeah for sure, but I chalked it up as his signal to me reminding me of our secret. Certainly, neither of our parents or for that Klara took any particular notice."
Mistress Denna continued, "Anyway back to the time I was considering my future, As I was wrapping up my formal education, I had by this time with my participation in der Höllenfeuer Verein found my niche as a Dominatrix. I was very interested in bondage, especially in rope. As a result, about a couple of years after graduating from the University of Vienna, I went to Japan. I spent three years there learning the art of shibari from various rope masters, known as the Nawashis.
