After lunch, the video player had been put away. The researchers began explaining more about what would happen the following day.
Apparently, I would be sleeping in a hotel-like bedroom suite tonight. My wake-up call was scheduled for 6:00AM, and I would be taken to the "laboratory" shortly before 7:00AM. I would then spend the next 12 hours in the lab with a man I would meet tomorrow.
The room where my partner and I would be was actually like a small studio apartment. There was a bedroom and seating area, plus a bathroom. There would be a refrigerator in the room, and plenty of food, drinks, and snacks for the long day. There would be no television and no telephone.
There would also be no windows, and the main seating area and bedroom would be darkened. Very dim lighting would be provided only to the extent that it was strictly necessary for gathering our food and using the bathroom. They explained that the darkening of the room was actually one of the important study variables, so we would not have the option of turning on lamps. The darkness was meant to encourage and foster intimacy.
I asked if there would be cameras filming the day. The answer was yes, something like a video camera would be recording the study, but the equipment would not be noticeable to us Apparently, the technology involved in the filming was not available in 2005.
I started speaking. "OK, so I'm going to spend 12 hours in this room with a man who is a total stranger to me. What, exactly, do you expect us to do together?"
"We expect you to develop an intimate relationship with him, to have sex with him, to learn enough about one another in that short time that you can share great sexual pleasure."
"We are trying to study how intimacy evolves, and how a perceived level of intimacy affects whether sexual acts result in mutual sexual pleasure. Yes, we are talking about orgasm, but more than that, we are talking about giving pleasure to your partner, not merely achieving orgasm yourself in someone else's presence."
I sat quietly, trying to digest all this information. "So, this isn't just about having sex with someone you barely know."
"No, definitely not. Building intimacy is expected. The two of you will have to decide how to go about that. Obviously, you'll spend a lot of time talking to one another." The man handed me a notepad and pen. "You might want to brainstorm a little about this, and jot down any ideas that come to your mind. We'll give you about a half hour right now."
As the couple exited the room, I wandered over to the bookshelf and picked up the dictionary, flipping quickly to the letter "i".
intimate:
1. inmost; essential; most inward; internal
2. most private or personal
3. closely acquainted or associated; very familiar
I sighed. I already knew that there was a big difference between having sex and achieving intimacy. The first was pretty straightforward, but the second...well, that was a much more challenging task.
I started jotting down a few possible topics of conversation that might get our thoughts on the right track.
- first kiss, when/where/with whom?
- details about first intercourse
- any bisexual, homosexual or group experiences?
- any fetishes?
- unfulfilled attractions and/or unrequited loves
- favorite fantasies
The researchers returned to the room. "Did you come up with some ideas?"
"Yes, I thought of a few things," I replied.